I held her tight, her butt melting into my crotch so perfectly. The sudden change in her from a little girl to a sensuous woman turned me on instantly. She was taking deep, rapid breaths. And then for the first time she turned to face me, and I realised what she’d grabbed from her bag just before she slipped into the shower.
There was a glint in her eyes. ‘Do you like cock as well, Maddie?’
‘That was all I’d known before you came along,’ I gasped, my eyes transfixed on the big dildo cradled seductively in her hands.
She gasped. ‘Really?’
I nodded, unable to find more words as she slid the phallus slowly up and down between my breasts. ‘So now you’ve got the best of both worlds.’
Then she was kissing me again, devouring me, giving no mercy as her passion took over. I reached for the gel, began to soap her back as the dildo slowly dropped lower, felt myself tighten as the soap made the softness of her skin even silkier.
‘Do you want it inside you?’ she whispered, not waiting for an answer as the knob reached my clit and made me cry out.
I parted my legs a little, closed my eyes as the dildo slipped just inside me, and was withdrawn again.
‘You fucking tease,’ I breathed, my clit pounding away just as much as my heart.
‘Share with me, Madeline.’
Then she wasn’t touching me anymore. I opened my eyes. The phallus was between her legs, her eyes wide, passion blazing into me. The hot water cascaded over her, making her olive skin glisten as her abs tightened and the dildo began to slip inside her.
I couldn’t stop myself, I grabbed it, eased her back against the shower wall and thrust it into her.
‘I want it all...’ she cried out, frantic hands cupping my breasts. She screamed as I did what she wanted, her crotch arching towards me as she took it all. ‘Harder...’ she breathed, as my other hand slid around her buttock to pull her even more into it.
Every millimetre was sinking into her, getting me closer to coming without her even touching my clit. Then she cried out, ‘Stop!’
She pushed me away, turned her back to me again, bending over and parting her legs. ‘Fuck me...’
Again I did as she asked, filling her in one slow movement as she took all of it with ease.
I held it still, drinking in the erotic sensations taking me higher with every second. She swore at me, flexed and contorted, wanting me to thrust. I wouldn't let her take control.
Then I could take the stillness no more, slid it almost out of her then thrust it back in, feeling her tighten around it with every push. Now she was gasping for breath, her fists clenching and unclenching against the tiled wall, her head shaking from side to side. The water cascaded across her butt, sending incredible sensations around my clit as the warmth mingled with her wetness.
‘Oh fuck…’ the words were only just audible as she exploded into a climax, my left hand gripping her shoulder now to force her harder into it. Still she came, an orgasm that just wouldn't end, her body almost doubling up as she screamed even louder. I thrust harder and harder, she begged me to stop but I wouldn't.
‘I can't take any more!’ Finally I allowed her to break free, she fell onto the shower floor gasping for air. Green eyes of fire glared at me as she grabbed the dildo, a smile on her lips. ‘You bitch…’ she said, her voice hoarse and husky.
‘What happened to sharing?’ I gasped, reaching down, pulling her to her feet. She threw herself against me, kissed me so hard it hurt. And then the dildo was inside me, filling me completely as her body pinned me against the shower wall. ‘Do you want the pleasure or the pain?’ she whispered in my ear.
‘Both...’ I managed to say. Her lips wouldn't leave mine, she thrust hard, again and again, I cried out every time it filled me. I could feel her nipples, rock hard against my breasts, her trembling hand slicing uncontrollably through my hair, refusing to allow my lips to break away from hers. So high now, so tight around the dildo she had to push harder and harder.
I could hold on no longer, screamed like I'd never done before as pain and pure ecstasy took me to a place I’d never been. On and on, never-ending, too much to bear. Then she was still, pulling me gently against her as the kisses became soft and delicate.
My legs wouldn't work anymore. I sank to my knees, Zana slipping down the shower wall with me. Her shaking hands wrapped around my head, laid it against her shoulder. Then she was motionless, exhausted arms looped around my neck, just the faintest of movement in her fingertips as they caressed the skin of my back.
I had no idea how long we stayed like that, it felt like forever as we both came down from incredible highs. It was Zana who finally spoke, lifting her head and giving me a cheeky smile.
‘I'm starving!’ she said.
Chapter 41
As we sat in the restaurant eating the dinner Zana so desperately needed, I tried to find out a bit more of her past.
‘Calandura… that sounds Spanish, or something like.’
‘Yes, yes it is.’
‘Did you have a happy childhood?’
‘I suppose so.’
‘You don't sound too sure.’
She lifted her head, looked at me in a slightly exasperated way. ‘My people are evil, Madeline.’
‘Evil?’ I said, shocked.
‘They have no heart or soul.’
‘But you do.’
She looked down at her plate again. ‘I… I do now.’
I reached out, put a hand under her chin to lift her head gently. ‘Do you want to explain that?’
She kissed my fingers delicately. ‘I suppose I always felt a bit different; kind of knew there was a heart in there somewhere. But when I came here, got to know a few Brits and then… then there was you.’
‘Should I be humbled by that?’
‘Yes you should. You're responsible for a lot of changes… in me.’
I knew exactly what she meant. ‘Guess I could say the same.’
She smiled. ‘Then we must be good for each other.’
I rocked my hand from side to side, said, ‘hmm’ with a grin, and then caught Zana's narrow-eyed stare. ‘As you already know, that was the understatement of the century,’ I said to redeem myself. ‘Just wish I could understand what is happening to me.’
‘Don't you know?’
The waiter appeared, poured our coffees and left the pot on the table. Zana leaned back in her chair and looked through the window at the whiteness illuminated by the outside lights. ‘We made a real mess of that nice smooth snow,’ she laughed.
‘There's a challenge tomorrow then… count the footprints.’
‘Oh yes,’ she grinned back. ‘That'll take me at least a day and a half so we'll have to stay another night!’
My stomach churned.
If only.
I felt her hand curl around mine. ‘Tell me about your father. How long since you spoke to him?’
‘About three months I think. He was in Tobago; met a local girl, said he was going to settle down there. But he's had itchy feet for the last ten years so it wouldn't surprise me if he's somewhere else now.’
‘You should call him.’
‘I will.’
My hand was squeezed a little harder. ‘Families are important, Madeline. Promise me you'll call him?’
I nodded. ‘Promise.’
‘You need to pass on my thanks anyway,’ she grinned.
‘For what?’
‘For making you in the first place, and then dragging you kicking and screaming to Norfolk!’
We slipped into bed an hour later. The child-like fun and games in the snow had tired us, the very adult fun and games in the shower taken its toll a little more. The bed felt like heaven.
But for Zana the day wasn't quite over. She'd switched off the lights and opened the drapes so the moon bathed the room in a white winter light, and stretched out on top of me, kissing me softly.
She intoxicated me. The faint light reflecting off the snow outside was just enoug
h to see her by, but not so bright as to intrude on my other senses. I could feel every inch of her, smell her sweetness and touch her tenderness.
She was hardly moving, but the almost imperceptible arching of her back made sure her crotch gently caressed mine. I could feel myself getting turned on again, incredibly, she was hardly moving. But I wasn't horny, the furious intensity of the shower gone now. This was something else.
Delicate, beautiful kisses spoke a thousand silent words; her hair hanging down each side of my face brushed against my cheeks and formed a silky blonde curtain that shut out all vision, meant there was only her. Softly my hands caressed her back, slowly, delicately, seeming to float across her contours. Then gently she slipped off me, pressed her body against my side, and a finger began to caress my clit.
Still she hardly moved, just the tip of her finger getting me higher. I did the same, her clit like a pebble, responding to my tiny movements so beautifully. Lost in the serenity, I wasn't thinking about control or having to make it happen.
I knew I didn't need to.
We came together, silently, the most beautiful mellow feeling I had ever known filling every particle of my body and soul. It lasted forever, the quite stillness enhancing already-perfect sensations.
Zana's head moved, almost startling me away from the tranquillity. She kissed me one last time. ‘Goodnight, Madeline,’ she whispered, the first words spoken since we first fell into bed.
I lay there a while, watching the moonlight reflecting off the ornate ceiling, allowing the amazing feelings to take me somewhere. And I realised I'd just achieved another milestone in my life.
Maybe, despite the intense passion, the pain and the sheer eroticism, I’d come close to it before with Zana. But after what just happened there could be no doubt, now I could no longer deny it.
For the first time in my life, I’d not had sex with someone.
I'd made love to her.
Chapter 42
I woke suddenly. The morning sunlight streamed through the window, I could see clear blue sky above the trees.
I wondered if something had woken me, but then realization hit home. I laid my head back on the pillow, eyes staring at the ceiling but seeing nothing. My heart was already beating harder than it should, the dreaded feeling back in my gut.
I glanced at Zana, still asleep beside me. She looked so serene and peaceful, one arm looped over the top of the duvet, a few strands of hair fallen across her face.
I reached out to move them away so I could see her better, but stopped myself. I couldn’t disturb her, disturb this time for me.
It may well be the last chance I have to drink in her beauty, on my own terms at least.
For an age I lay there listening to her shallow breathing, longing to touch her but resisting the urge. Once or twice she murmured and moved a little, screwed up her face like she was dreaming. I hoped she wasn't in a bad place; knew I could no longer bear the thought of her being in any kind of pain.
Suddenly I began to choke up, gazing at her too much to cope with. I slipped quietly out of the bed and stood by the window, looking out at the myriad of footprints in the snow made yesterday by two daft happy children.
But happy was yesterday.
Today was… today.
Somehow in the midst of a harsh reality, we had managed to make precious memories. They wouldn’t be able to take those away from us. The thought comforted me a little, but couldn't keep my eyes from misting over as the hopelessness of our situation tried to overwhelm me.
I rubbed my face vigorously, a vain attempt to clear images of the near future I didn't want to see. Harsh reality was already knocking on the door, and in an hour or two when Zana learned the truth, I would have to open it and let the demon storm through as.
‘Wakey wakey!’
Zana opened her eyes, turned to face me as I stood next to the bed, and gave me a lovely smile.
‘Your bath is ready, madam.’
She squealed, scrambled out of bed to head for the bathroom, but stopped at the window. ‘Aw, it's not snowed again.’
‘Perhaps a good thing, we have to drive home today.’
She scowled at me. ‘Did you have to say that?’
I kind of wished I hadn't, for both of us. I took her hand and held it as she slipped into the bubbles frothing over the sides of the cast-iron bath.
‘You may join me if you wish, maid,’ she giggled. ‘Especially as you're already naked!’
I did as instructed, lay back on the opposite end to Zana. Then two legs were plonked unceremoniously on top of me. ‘You may kiss my feet too, servant,’ she laughed. ‘Sorry, I meant massage.’
‘What did your last servant die of?’ I retorted.
‘Terminal exhaustion.’
For a while we lay in the warm water, enjoying the closeness of our bodies one last time. I gently massaged Zana's feet, she did the same for me. Few words were spoken, few were needed as we both silently came to terms with the fact the fairytale was almost over.
It grew close to the time we would miss breakfast. I wrapped a huge white towel around her as she climbed out of the bath, we threw on a few casual clothes, and made the dining room just in time.
There wasn't a lot of conversation over breakfast. Once or twice Zana glanced at me but said nothing. I was finding it hard to swallow the perfectly-cooked food, had ordered the full English but managed only half of it.
‘You ok, Madeline?’
I nodded. ‘London doesn't seem a very enticing prospect right now.’
She didn't answer, just lowered her eyes to the food she wasn't able to finish either.
Back in the room we slowly packed our bags. I watched as she closed the zip on the case, realised she hadn't worn the pendant all weekend that always seemed to be round her neck.
‘You didn't bring your big silver pendant then?’
‘Its titanium. No, didn't want it around my neck this weekend.’
She went into the bathroom, I pulled the DIAL phone out of my pocket to check there were no missed calls, amazed it hadn't rung. I'd decided to bring it, partly because Coop had told me I was pretty much on my own this weekend, partly because I’d already told DIAL where I was going and didn't want to face the wrath of Duncan Scott much more. I'd decided to be a good girl.
Zana came back from the bathroom, I tried to smile warmly to her. ‘Hey, we've got a little time left. Might be nice to head to the broad and sit a while… take in the air before the drive back?’
For a second or two she stood still, her face expressionless. Then she smiled uncertainly back to me.
‘That would be nice, Madeline,’ she said quietly.
It was almost as if she knew.
Chapter 43
We threw the bags in the car and walked slowly to the shore, arms around each other. I steered Zana slightly to the left of the landing stage to where the log seat had been positioned to give the best view of the water.
As my eyes fell on it, my gut felt like it was turning inside out. The double seat was shrouded in a three-sided rustic trellis, a snow-covered timber roof giving the whole thing a cozy, natural feel.
It looked amazing.
Perfect.
It filled my heart with dread.
As we sat down I knew that of all the memories we had made this weekend, what was about to come would outweigh them all. For however long I had left to live, the weekend would burn bright in my mind and be something to cherish. The next few minutes however may well be different.
They would for sure burn brightest of all, but likely for the wrong reasons.
I glanced at Zana, tried to smile. She looked stunning again, wearing the red coat and Zhivago hat. I wrapped a gloved hand around hers, spoke quietly.
‘I've just had the best two days of my life.’
She lowered her head, wouldn't look at me. ‘Me too. I wish… I wish things were different.’
She sounded so sad, I couldn't bear her pain. I pulled her into me, wrapped bot
h arms tightly around her, desperate to protect her from a reality I knew I couldn't. She buried her face in my shoulder, and even through the gloves I could feel her fingers boring desperately into my back.
‘Zana…’
She lifted her head, eyes filled with tears looked desolately into mine. ‘It’s question time, isn't it?’ she whispered.
She knew.
I tried to keep my voice steady. This was the time I had to take control, but gently… lovingly. The pounding in my head was matching the pounding of my heart, making clear thinking difficult. I’d never been so terrified of losing something in my whole life. She knew why we were sitting there; somehow she'd felt my fear the same way I'd felt hers.
I kissed her softly, tried to wipe away her tears with my gloved fingers. ‘In a way its question time… but it's also answer time.’
‘Am I not going to like this?’
I shook my head. ‘I don't think either of us will.’
She nodded, like she already knew the answer to that particular question.
‘When I was a girl, just after my father came out the other side of his nightmare years and became my dad again, he invented a game. He found it hard to talk to me about how he felt, and he watched me getting in with the wrong crowd and doing stuff he knew was bad.
‘He struggled to talk to me about his own demons, I clammed up about the shit I was getting into, at first because I was ashamed to tell him, and then later because… because I didn't care anymore. About anything or anyone, even myself.’
‘That's so sad.’
‘But on the crap days we made it through because of the game he got us to play. I'm thinking maybe we should play it now. It might see us through this.’
‘Did it have a name, this game?’
‘Yeah. He called it Trading Truths.’
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