“How’s your personal life?” The young interviewer asked. He was sitting on the edge of his seat in anticipation.
“My personal life is… personal.” This was my least favorite question. I almost wanted to ask him what his personal life was like.
“Your social media account says otherwise.”
I was guilty of over-sharing, that was true. Rob, who was standing behind the interviewer and out of view, cleared his throat loudly enough for me to hear.
I sighed. “I have a very intimate relationship with my fans. They’re my number one, so that’s why I share my life with them through the power of social media.”
“Do you have anyone else that you have an intimate relationship with?”
Rob was waving his hands frantically in the background. Any longer and he’d break out into a sweat. I couldn’t help but laugh at how ridiculous he was, and how much he cared about grooming my personal image.
“Well, I enjoyed working with Lucy Noble. We became close friends during the making of this movie.”
“What kind of friends?” The interviewer asked.
Rob gestured for me to continue.
“I think you know.” I smiled that charming movie star smile the photographers went crazy for. That was the best acting I had done all year. I hadn’t spoken to Lucy since filming wrapped over six months ago. She was more of an uptight A-type personality. She thought my method of acting was “weird” and I remember her using the word “embarrassing”. Lucy and I wouldn’t be friends if we were the last humans on earth, but here I was, acting like we were sleeping together.
The journalist looked at me with a crazed look in his eyes, as if he had struck gold. I couldn’t help but feel a bit sketchy for what I had just done. A pit formed in my stomach thinking about how Madison would react to this. I’d have to message her and warn her that shit was about to hit the fan.
After the interview was over, Rob thanked me.
“I was about ready to stop the interview,” he mumbled in my ear.
I rolled my eyes, wondering why I even hired him before remembering that it was him who put me on Blind Date where I met Madison in the first place. Rob didn’t want me actually dating co-stars, but he didn’t mind me lying about it if it meant the film made more money. That was how Hollywood worked nowadays.
As I moved away from the cameras, I pulled out my phone, wondering if I could call Madison and get to her school on time.
“Johnny! Where do you think you’re going?” Rob asked.
“Phone call.” I was already scrolling, looking for her number.
“You don’t have time for that.” Rob grabbed my phone, snatching it away. “You have lunch with Lucy in ten minutes.”
“Hey!” I tried to grab for the phone, but Rob wiggled his finger in my face. “Come on, you’ve got to be kidding me.”
“You said you’d do it, Johnny. I’ve already tipped off the media, now come on, there’s a car waiting for you.”
I sighed. Today was going to be a long day.
As I ran into class everyone was chatting with each other. Walking to my seat I could feel eyes on me. Whitney let it slip that Johnny Logan might be making a surprise visit to our classroom, and it was obvious that everyone was excited.
Damn it, Whitney, I thought. Why couldn’t she keep her big mouth shut?
Two girls in the front of the room, Cassie and Katy, looked at me with evil smirks.
“Where’s Johnny, Madi?” One asked. The other one laughed. Whitney called these two girls “the mean girls”.
“He’ll be here,” I said nervously. There was more laughter. Whitney called me over and I made my way to my seat.
“Ignore them,” she said.
I couldn’t help but notice all the eyes on me, judging me, as people whispered to each other. Suddenly acting class wasn’t so much fun.
“Alright everyone, quiet down,” Professor Smith said. She was a strict, older woman. “Let’s get started with our scenes. First up is… Abby.”
A small girl got up to the front of the class and fell into a Shakespearean soliloquy.
“Where’s Johnny?” Whitney whispered.
“I don’t know!” I pulled out my phone and texted him, hoping he’d answer this time. But one minute passed, then two. There was no answer. Shit!
I looked at my scene and hoped that I could do it alone, but it was impossible. Two people were required to do the scene, unless I did both parts…
Time continued on and there was no response from Johnny. Several guys did scenes and soon it was Whitney’s turn. She did a dramatic take on a classic Kermit the Frog piece. It was the first time I got to admire Whitney’s talent. She was actually pretty good. Her acting talent far exceeded her science skills.
I tried to ignore my phone as Whitney continued her piece. She spoke slow and added long pauses between each line. Whether she was doing it to add drama or take more time, I wasn’t sure, but I was thankful for it. When she was done, the class applauded. Another girl took the spotlight. When I realized I was up next my heart began to race.
Whitney took her seat and smiled at me.
“That was great,” I whispered.
“Thanks! Any news from Johnny?”
I shook my head. She squeezed my arm.
“It’ll be okay.” She took a sip of water before checking her phone. Her eyes grew wide.
“What is it?” I asked. In that instant, my phone lit up. Thinking it was Johnny, I grabbed my phone a little too excitedly, almost dropping it on the ground. I checked the screen and saw Whitney’s name — she sent me a link. I opened it and nearly dropped my phone again.
There were pictures of Johnny, looking as sexy as ever in dark sunglasses, holding hands with Lucy Noble. They were outside a restaurant here in LA. I read the article.
“Love in the air? Johnny Logan and Lucy Noble were spotted having lunch today followed by an intimate stroll down
Rodeo Drive.” I stopped reading to catch my breath. This was today, I thought. This was right now. Against my better judgment, I kept reading.
“This isn’t the first time Logan’s been spotted out with an actress. According to an eye witness, earlier this week he was seen canoodling with current co-star Sheila Shiner in a Hong Kong hotel bar.”
I scrolled down and saw a photo of the sexy red-head touching his knee. They seemed to be having a drink together.
“This is all happening while Johnny’s episode of Blind Date is set to air on the Entertainment and Media network in a few days. While Logan said he was ready to settle down, it’s clear he’s still testing the waters.”
Hot rage bubbled through my blood.
He said he’d join me in class! And yet, he was out right now having lunch with a beautiful actress.
I felt the crushing blow of defeat. My hopes had been so high this morning but now, only a few hours later, acting classes seemed downright silly. I felt like a fool.
“Are you okay?” Whitney asked.
I could barely swallow past the lump in my throat. I looked up at my friend hoping tears wouldn’t fall from my eyes. “I thought he’d come,” I said.
Whitney rubbed my arm.
He wasn’t coming. I couldn’t believe it. He wasn’t coming.
“Madison?” Professor Smith asked. The mean girls in the front row looked back at me and snickered. Their phones were lit up and from where I sat I could see the picture of Johnny and Lucy holding hands. I felt sick to my stomach.
“Will you be okay?” Whitney asked.
I swallowed down the rejection and nodded. “I just… I really thought he’d come,” I said.
“Madison,” Professor Smith said more sternly this time.
I got up and shakily made my way to the front of the class where over thirty pairs of eyes stared at me. Some people covered their mouths as they laughed.
I really thought he’d come, I thought.
“You know what, Johnny? I’m really impressed with you,” Lucy said. Her arm
was looped through mine as we walked down Rodeo drive.
“Are you?”
The sound of cameras clicked in the distance as paparazzi snapped our photograph.
“Yes! You’re so different. I didn’t know you could behave like this.”
“You’d be surprised what people can do nowadays.”
She snuggled closer to me and I groaned.
“Listen,” I whispered. “Are you just saying this for the cameras? Because you don’t have to act this way. They can’t hear us.”
She pulled back. “I’m being serious, Johnny! You’re a new man. You even look different.”
I rolled my eyes. “Do you really think I’m dating material?”
Lucy pulled her arm away. She furrowed her brow and stood up in the uptight way she always stood. “Maybe you haven’t matured.”
“Listen, it was… something… seeing you, but I’ve got to go.”
“But I thought we had chemistry together!”
I sighed. Lucy was as beautiful as they came — soft golden blond hair, a red-stained pout, but she never cared for me or my interests. She only liked my fame and the fact that I was a one-way ticket to the front of the tabloids.
“Sorry, Lucy.” I pulled away but she grabbed me.
“Your agent said you wanted to date me, so you will. I’m not going to be humiliated by you again. You will take me to the premiere of our movie this weekend.”
I felt myself deflate inside.
“Excuse me.” I pulled my arm from her. “I think that’s mine.”
As I walked away, I realized that this business was always telling me what to do and how to act, and it was really starting to get annoying.
***
Madison’s class had been over for hours by the time I got away from Lucy and Rob. Getting into my driver’s car, I made my way to her house.
I knocked on the door but there was no answer. I tried the doorknob. It was unlocked. I pushed it open.
“Madison?”
I could hear the sounds of sniffling and crying. Madison was sitting on the couch, glaring at me with an icy stare.
“It’s nice of you to finally show up,” she said. She tilted her chin up so that she looked at me. Her eyes were puffy from crying.
“Sorry Madison, I was busy with work,” I said as I stepped into the room.
“Going on a date with Lucy Noble is work now?”
I sighed. I forgot how quickly tabloid fodder spread on the internet.
“That’s part of my work, Madison. That’s who Johnny Logan is.”
“Oh, so that’s who he is. It’s a good thing you told me because I wasn’t sure.”
“Madison—”
“Don’t come close to me,” she snapped. She stood up from the couch and looked me in the eye. “You told me you’d be there for me and you weren’t. Instead you were off with another woman. And now you’re telling me that’s who Johnny Logan is? I thought I supported who you were, but now, I’m not so sure.”
“Please don’t do this.”
She shook her head in frustration. “You humiliated me, Johnny! If that’s who Johnny Logan is, I don’t think I like him anymore. And to think, I was willing to indulge you. I was willing to pretend with you. I can get over that, but I can never get over the fact that I tried to change for you. I tried to compromise who I was to get closer to you. And all that because I thought we connected. In the beginning you told me you wouldn’t break my heart, and I believed you.” She shook her head. “I can’t believe what a fool I was.”
“Madison, please.”
She shook her head. “Leave.” There was a stern tone in her voice.
“Listen Madison, you can be mad at me all you want. What I did back there — well, I was an asshole. I shouldn’t have done that, but for some reason I thought I had to. I’m still young, like you. I’m still trying to figure out who I am.” I turned towards the door and opened it. I turned back to look at her. “I don’t regret any of our time together, Madison. And that’s because you helped me learn more about myself. I never knew who I was until I met you.” She didn’t say anything. “I love you, Madison.”
There was only silence, interrupted by the occasional sniffle. She didn’t turn to look at me.
I didn’t need her to tell me twice. Though I wanted to run up to her and take her into my arms, I did as she wanted, and I left.
As soon as Johnny left, the tears streamed down my face. He loved me? How could he love me when he just stood me up in front of the whole class?
It was just as I predicted… my first major relationship would end in heartbreak.
How could Johnny be so heartless? Only someone who didn’t care about my feelings would do something so cold. He was an actor, and I understood that. If he had to kiss someone for a movie, that was obviously fine. But to pretend to be dating someone in real life? How could I know what was real and what was fake with him? How could I trust him?
I did some deep breathing to calm my nerves. My face felt hot and my head felt light.
The doorbell rang. Whitney barged in.
“I came as soon as you texted. I have all the necessities — wine, Doritos, ice cream… oh honey!” She caught a glimpse of me. I was doing my ugly cry while tears streamed down my face. Whitney put everything down and rushed towards me. “Come on, let’s get you cleaned up.”
She led me towards the bathroom where she washed my face with a hot cloth. She then poured us both a glass of red wine and sat me on the couch.
“I just don’t understand how he could be so cruel!”
“Men are pigs,” she said.
“Yeah, but to be caught by the paparazzi? When he knew I’d probably see him?”
“Maybe he didn’t want to be cruel to you, Madi. Maybe this is some of his strange performance art. He does it all the time, doesn’t he? I mean, you know him better than anyone — and I mean that both as a fan and as a person.”
“Do I?” I mumbled. “I feel like I barely know him at all.”
Sure, Johnny was an artist on screen and in real life. He dedicated his career to molding his life into a piece of art. I shook my head.
“I don’t understand.”
“There’s nothing to understand.” Whitney took my wine glass and refilled it. “Relationships are complicated. There are no rules. You just have to follow your emotions and work at it.”
I sighed. “You’re right.”
“Here.” Whitney grabbed the TV controller. “What shall we watch? We need to distract you from your real life.”
“Anything, it doesn’t matter.” I felt empty inside and no matter how much television I watched, I’d still be thinking of Johnny.
Whitney put on a comedy about dating which hardly distracted me from the issue at hand. As she began crunching down on Doritos, I lost my thoughts in Johnny.
Maybe pretending to like Lucy was part of his performance art, like Whitney said. All this time I thought I didn’t know Johnny at all, when really maybe I knew exactly who he was. He was a performer, an artist. He could transport himself to another world, into another person. Wasn’t that what I wanted in life? To transport myself to a different world? After all, that was the whole reason I got into special effects to begin with.
I shook my head. What he did still didn’t feel right. Whitney offered me some chips but I shook my head. My stomach would be unsettled for a while.
The show we were watching ended and a new one began. The wine must have been clouding my mind because it took a few moments to realize that Blind Date was on.
“Today’s episode of Blind Date features one of the most famous actors in history.” An image of Johnny Logan wearing a clean suit and walking into a restaurant filled the screen.
“Oh my god!” Whitney scrambled across the couch for the controller.
“Wait,” I said, watching the screen. “It’s my episode!”
The camera panned over a number of different girls. There I was, on the left, wearing the beautiful white
dress that production gave me.
“Oh, Madi, you look beautiful.” Whitney watched the screen with wide eyes.
I watched with her. I looked happy, mixed with a large dose of nervousness. I looked so hopeful and naïve, a far cry from the puffy-faced heartbroken woman who was sitting on the couch, drowning herself in wine.
“Will this dreamy actor find love in an unexpected place? Will he find his blind date?”
I laughed at the phrasing. Blind date. I sure was blind this whole time.
“I’ll change it,” Whitney said, seeing my face.
“Wait just one second.” The camera panned over Johnny’s face as he looked at me. There was a twinkle in his eye — something special that showed up every once in a while, but only when he was Johnny, only when he was being himself. My heart flourished for a moment remembering that disarming gaze of his. Though at the time I thought he had been acting, I now knew him well enough to realize that he was being genuine from the beginning.
Maybe what Whitney said was right. Maybe today he wasn’t trying to hurt me. Maybe he was just doing his job.
My heart ached knowing that neither Johnny nor I were ready for this relationship. Neither of us knew who we were yet, and how could we truly love each other if we didn’t know ourselves?
“You know what?” I asked. Whitney perked up to look at me.
“What is it, hon?”
“Maybe acting isn’t for me after all.”
“No?”
“I think I’m going to transfer into Explosions 215.”
Whitney smiled and touched my knee. “I think that’s a great idea.”
“Acting isn’t my thing, it never was. I don’t know why I was trying to be someone I’m not. I’m going to go into the registration office first thing tomorrow morning and switch classes.”
“Oh.” Whitney’s face fell.
“What is it?”
“Do you think you can wait until after acting class to switch?”
I furrowed my brow. “Why?”
The Blind Date Series (Three Romance Stories: Blind Date, Role Play, Pure Fate) Page 14