They entered the church before Amelia could turn and see Sadie. Sadie dropped her husband’s hand. She wanted the crowd to hurry in, stop milling around so much, so she could find a seat as far away from Amelia as possible. Sadie managed to avoid her pretty well throughout the week. She had no business at the school, where Amelia worked as an aide, and Sadie had no part in the weekday church activities that Amelia frequented. But every week, she went through the agonizing possibility of running into her.
They found a nearly-empty wooden pew near the back of the church, and Sadie and her family piled in. Sadie sat on the end, Manny at her side. Sadie was glad that Hank was holding the baby. Sadie didn’t mind the kid or anything, was technically her godmother, but babies in general just annoyed her sometimes. It made Sadie think of when Christian was a baby…she definitely wasn’t as attached to him then.
They were glad that they came a bit early, because the rows of pews filled up, leaving the others to stand at the back of the church. Men gave up their seats to pregnant women, but the other poor bastards were left without seats for the two-hour service.
Sadie was settling in, preparing to zone out, when someone in the aisle said, “Excuse me. Is this seat taken?”
There was a bit of space next to Sadie, just enough room for a single person. The newbie, Sophie, smiled shyly at her. “We met last night, do you remember?” she asked.
Sadie smiled and stuck out her hand to shake. “I wasn’t drinking as much as some people,” she said, nodding to Manny. She shook with Sophie, and gestured for her to sit. “You didn’t stick around for long,” Sadie said with a teasing smile. Sophie and Vanessa disappeared after only an hour, leaving the other women to their own devices in the living room.
Sophie giggled. “I had a lot of fun.”
“Did you say you have a sister?” Manny asked, leaning over Sadie a little to question the pretty young woman. “Where is she?”
“Oh, I’m not sure,” Sophie admitted, looking around before offering them a sheepish smile. “I didn’t really come from home.”
“I thought that dress looked familiar,” Manny laughed, nudging Sadie. Sadie hadn’t yet noticed that the purple dress Sophie was wearing belonged to Vanessa.
“Is Nessa speaking this morning?” Sadie asked. After a couple of drinks, Vanessa usually spilled to her friends about any council business she was privy to.
Sophie nodded. “She said there’s a big announcement.”
Sadie wasn’t sure what to make of this, what a newbie would consider to be a “big” announcement. She didn’t have time to question the young woman, because Pastor Steve stood up at the pulpit, his arms raised in a V above his head, his signal that he was ready to begin. The residents quieted down quickly.
Sadie didn’t like Pastor Steve. She couldn’t pinpoint an exact reason. On the couple of occasions she’d spoken with him one-on-one, there was something about him that made her skin crawl. She knew it had at least a little to do with the fact that his wife was quite a bit younger than he was, and the poor young woman was already pregnant with her fifth child. He was like the face of the procreation push in SC.
He offered his congregation a calm smile as he lowered his hands. “Brothers and sisters,” he said, and Sadie immediately crossed her arms. She hated that “brothers and sisters” bullshit. “I have stood up here and spoken of gratitude. We are grateful for our safe home. We are grateful for our food supplies. We are grateful for each other, for the chance to rebuild the world, a better world than the one before.
“But I am truly grateful today, as I stand here and look out at all of you. Every week I see more and more new faces. Fellow survivors, children of God, I am grateful that you have found us.
“We are the chosen people, my brothers and sisters.” Pastor Steve spoke loudly and calmly through the cries and whimpers of all the babies in the room. “God was by your side through your struggles, He carried you through and brought you to this place. We now must carry a heavy and important burden.”
Sadie was beginning to really zone out. This was nothing new. She’d heard all this many, many times before. Time for some new material, Stevie, Sadie thought. She examined the random stained-glass windows, preserved from an assortment of churches that once stood in another life.
“We will continue to face new challenges,” Pastor Steve went on. “Nothing so great as what we faced outside these walls, nothing we cannot get through with each other. We must remember our gratitude. We must remember God.
“It is a time of great change in our mighty little community. Remember our higher purpose, brothers and sisters. Remember why we’re all here.”
When Pastor Steve stepped down so early, surrendering the pulpit to one of the councillors, Sadie was alert again. And it wasn’t just any of the council members addressing them that morning, but the head of SC’s council, known to the community as Bob. Bob was one of SC’s founders, and he was the one who set up the electrical grid. Vanessa told Sadie that in another life, Bob was once an influential man in a small Oregon community. He’d stepped back into that old role with ease.
Unlike Steve, Bob did not smile out at SC’s residents. He seemed to scrutinize the crowd with his hard stare. His first words were almost spoken thoughtfully, as though to himself, but he had everyone’s full attention. “We have gotten so big,” Bob said. “We used to dream about this day, but I never thought I’d live to see it.”
Bob got right down to business. He described how a new church was to be built, on a portion of as-yet undeveloped land to the north, not far from the steel gates leading to the lab. “With that project near completion, we can allocate workers to the new church,” Bob explained. “But even with all the new residents being trained up in construction, we still don’t have the manpower to build enough houses.”
The next bit of news was something Sadie cared about quite a bit more than a bigger church. In SC, unmarried adults were given apartments in one of three buildings in the eastern part of town. Sadie stayed in one when she first arrived, but when she and Johnny got married, they were given a house. But, with the housing shortage, married couples without children would be sent back to the apartments as well. These would fill, too, but putting up a couple more buildings would take much less time than building all the necessary houses, Bob explained.
There were murmurs throughout the church as Bob’s message sank in. He waited, staring out at them, until they fell silent again. Sadie was thinking of leaving her little yellow house. She wouldn’t be able to grow anything now. And she knew Johnny was freaking out about losing his distillery.
“I know this will be a small sacrifice for our younger or…less fortunate couples,” Bob said. “But all of us have been through worse. Relocations will take place over the next couple of weeks, and of course we’ll offer assistance for everyone to move their things.”
As the murmurs started up again, Sadie looked around the church. How many other couples, like her and Johnny, didn’t have any children? How many people would be affected by this?
“My fellow councillors will take questions as this time,” Bob said with finality, and he stepped down from the pulpit and disappeared through the rear door. Vanessa and her five cohorts got up in front of the residents and fielded questions from concerned citizens. Apparently, there were plenty of couples who, for whatever reason, didn’t have children.
Sadie knew of one couple who’d given birth three times, but none of the babies survived their first day of life. People like that were looked at with pity. After all, with many residents having been exposed to radiation during their formative years, reproduction issues were to be expected. But such people would be affected by the relocations just like couples like Sadie and Johnny, who just didn’t care enough to try very hard to conceive.
Sadie glanced over at her husband, who sat on Hank’s other side. He was clearly fuming. He didn’t get mad very often, but when he did, he went quiet. He got that way when he thought about his brother Remy’s death
. He still didn’t like to talk about it.
Sadie didn’t find herself feeling all that upset about being forced to move out of her little yellow house. The apartments weren’t so bad. She’d stayed in one all by herself for a little while, and it was a lot more room than she felt one person needed. She and Johnny shared a bed, anyway, so what would it change, really? Manny and Hank could let him brew in their shed, and his world wouldn’t be so terribly rocked. Bob was right; they’d been through worse.
The service broke up a bit early, though much of the time was filled with people voicing their concerns about the new decree. “What’s gonna stop them from moving people with only one child?” one guy demanded. “Not all of us are lucky enough to have four or five.” Clearly a dig at Pastor Steve’s young wife.
Manny’s baby was fussing when people started streaming out of the church, heading to the dining hall. “Aw, Dina’s ready to go home for a nap, isn’t she?” Manny cooed to her daughter. “Momma’s ready, too.”
Sadie didn’t argue as her friend headed home. She knew better than to peace out herself, especially on a day like this. She went with Johnny and Hank to the dining hall, where they grabbed their usual table. When Vanessa came to join them, with Sophie at her heels, Johnny pounced.
“How much of a difference is it really gonna make, to move all the childless couples?” Johnny asked. “I mean, we gotta be a minority already, right?”
“Well, there’s childless couples, and there’s also siblings who live in houses together,” Vanessa said. She turned to Sophie, who sat quietly at her side. “I’m sorry, honey, but you and your sister won’t get a place like you were expecting.”
“That’s okay,” Sophie shrugged.
Johnny ignored the newbie. “Sadie and I have been living there for almost two years,” he said. “I mean, nobody here knows what it means to have a secure home. We’re just getting used to all that. It’s kind of insensitive to take it away from us, eh?”
Vanessa shook her head. “Johnny…”
Sadie got up. “I’m gonna get some soup,” she said. She and Hank joined the line of residents, who were waiting on their tasteless, vegetable-heavy soup and a couple of slices of day-old bread. Sadie knew that it wasn’t easy to feed all of SC’s residents, even with electricity to help, but if they wanted everyone to stick around for a big “family-style” meal, they could put a little more effort into the preparations.
When Sadie got to the front of the line, she was startled to come face-to-face with Amelia, who was ladling soup into little wooden bowls. Amelia was startled, too, dropping her ladle into the vat that stood between them on the table. “Shit,” Amelia hissed, fumbling for the handle before it sank to the bottom.
Sadie inched further down the line to accept her soup from the next server. They were all avid churchgoers, the volunteers. The sort of people who participated in the church’s weekday activities and groups, the people who bought into the idea of their being the “chosen people,” not just the fortunate ones. The pretty young woman handing out the bread told her to “have a blessed day.” Sadie nodded to her, biting back a sarcastic remark.
Back at their table, Johnny was seething, obviously not hearing what he wanted to hear from Vanessa. “Don’t worry about it,” Hank said, putting a hand on Johnny’s arm. “We’ll move the stuff into my shed.”
Johnny shrugged off his lover, glowering. “I’m taking a walk.” He stormed out of the crowded dining hall. Hank left his soup and went after him, leaving Sadie alone with the two women.
“Sophie said you two had fun last night,” Sadie remarked. She dipped her spoon into her bowl and played around with her soup. She hadn’t eaten all day, but the soggy noodles and vegetables swimming with little strings of overcooked chicken was too hot to eat yet.
Vanessa chuckled. “Sorry I was a bad hostess.”
“Don’t worry about it,” Sadie said. “Manny got sick on your deck.”
“Was that her?” Vanessa asked. “And she’s taken off already, hasn’t she?”
“She hadn’t quite finished sleeping it off yet,” Sadie said.
Vanessa shook her head. “She should watch it,” she said.
Sophie stood up. “I’m gonna join the line,” she said. “Can I get for you?”
“That’s nice of you, honey,” Vanessa said. Sadie noticed that she watched the younger woman walk away.
Sadie shook her head at her friend. “I guess you’re not worried about relocating, with your own little plaything.”
“Well, I may or may not be relocating with the first wave,” Vanessa said vaguely, still watching Sophie from across the room.
Sadie snorted. “And you told Johnny that, didn’t you? No wonder he’s pissed.”
Vanessa shrugged. “There’s advantages to being on the council. Besides, there aren’t very many older people. We haven’t decided on them yet. Weren’t you paying attention?”
“Vaguely.” Sadie finally took a sip of her soup. It was definitely lacking in spices. She put her spoon down. Hopefully Johnny wasn’t too upset to whip up some lunch when they got home. They might have shared responsibilities, but he was the far better cook.
“I have the rare distinction of being a grandmother,” Vanessa reminded her. “So that makes me exempt. For now.”
Sadie nodded. “I’m not real worried about it.”
“Well, if you are,” Vanessa said, “There’s only one thing you gotta do.”
*
A week later, Johnny and Sadie moved into their new apartment. It was the same layout as the one Sadie stayed in before she got married. It had a single bedroom, a good-sized living area, and a little kitchen, as well as its own bathroom. Sadie didn’t think it was so bad, but Johnny had been brooding over losing their house all week.
The apartment block was abuzz for the next couple of weeks as people moved in and out. Sadie just tried to stay out of everybody’s way, going to work at the auto shop as usual and spending her evenings at Manny and Hank’s place, if she wasn’t at the apartment on her own. During the first week that they lived there, Johnny didn’t stay the night once. According to Manny, he wasn’t at their house every night, either.
Sadie was up late one night. She couldn’t sleep, and didn’t bother fighting it. Rather than lie awake and torture herself with thoughts of things she had no control over, she got up and started putting up the old family photos.
When they’d first arrived in SC, Manny gave Sadie an old cardboard box. “Remy was supposed to give this to you,” she said. “He told me he meant to do it when we got here, but…”
In the box were Sadie’s grandparents’ old photos, the ones she thought Glenn got rid of years ago. Manny thought that Glenn gave them to her parents for safekeeping. He’d wanted to hide from his memories of another life, but Sadie wanted to submerge herself in them. After everything with Amelia, Sadie would spend hours looking at all the old pictures again. When she and Johnny got married and moved into their house, she put them up in the living room.
There wasn’t as much wall space in the apartment, so Sadie was choosey about which pictures to put up. As she was deciding between a couple of photos, there was a sharp knock at the door.
There wasn’t an official curfew in SC, but people didn’t typically go out after dark. It wasn’t uncommon to attend a party at a friend’s house or something, as Sadie did often, but to go to someone’s place unannounced was unheard of. Sadie wondered if it was Johnny, a bit drunk and confused.
At the peephole, Sadie was surprised to see that it was Amelia calling. She didn’t even think of hiding, of pretending to be away or heavily asleep. It was after midnight, and Amelia was here. Something wasn’t right.
Sadie opened the door. Amelia frowned at her, and Sadie noticed, for the first time, how thin she’d gotten. Most people put on weight when they came to SC, but Sadie imagined that Amelia was troubled about Christian…and perhaps other things.
“I’m sorry to bother you so late,” Amelia said.
“What’s wrong?” Sadie asked.
Amelia bit her lower lip for a moment. “I thought I needed to see you,” she said. “And this was stupid. I’m sorry I woke you up.” Amelia started down the hall.
“Hold on,” Sadie said. “I wasn’t asleep.” Amelia stopped. “If you wanna talk, come on in,” Sadie said. Amelia hesitated, but finally turned to the door, her eyes cast down.
“I’m sorry I…”
“Don’t be sorry,” Sadie said. “I was up, see?” She gestured to the box of photos sitting on the wooden coffee table. A couple of frames sat on the couch.
“What’re these?” Amelia asked. She went and picked up one of the frames. “Oh, my God, it’s Glenn!” she gasped. The photo showed Glenn, Sadie, and Daisy, several years before the divorce, on a family vacation to Florida to visit Glenn’s parents at their winter home. They were on the beach in the photo. Glenn was squinting under the wide brim of a cotton hat, while Daisy, wearing sunglasses, grinned and held a four-year-old Sadie in her lap.
“That’s your mother?” Amelia asked, pointing to Daisy. Sadie nodded. Amelia examined her, the woman Glenn loved before her. “I always wondered what she looked like,” Amelia said. “She was beautiful. You look a lot like her.”
Sadie couldn’t help but agree, as she’d been surprised to find when Manny first returned the box of photos. Besides Sadie’s short hair, she and her mother could have been mistaken for twins. She couldn’t help but wonder how her father felt about that.
Amelia giggled. “You were cute,” she said. “But Glenn was kinda dorky back then, wasn’t he?”
“Yeah,” Sadie said, vaguely remembering her bookish father in another life. He didn’t seem like the kind of man who could survive the zombie apocalypse, but he’d lasted longer than most. “When he grew out his beard, it kind of detracted from that.”
Amelia chuckled. “I kind of liked his beard,” she admitted. “But, I mean, it has nothing on Zach’s.”
In Another Life Page 15