What did she want? Did she want him to beg, for God's sake? If she was confused, it wasn't fair for him to pressure her. But if she just didn't know what she wanted...how did he know she wouldn't change her mind later?
He clenched his jaw, anger and pain bubbling in him.
"I can't make this decision for you," he said. "I won't. You're a grown woman, and you need to make this call on your own."
She gritted her teeth. "Well, I'm going to San José tomorrow. First flight," she said. "I'll spend the night there and I'll fly back the following morning. Okay?"
"All right," he said.
"I'll call you," she said, hoping to ease the sting. "After the interview. Maybe...maybe you can pick me up from the airport?"
"I can't tomorrow night," he said. "I'm having dinner with Casey."
She looked like she'd been slapped.
He swore. "It's not like that. I'm talking to her about helping out the bookstore. She's a journalist; she's got a lot of contacts. It could be good publicity for them."
She'd gone pale. "Well--have fun at your dinner."
"Good luck at your interview," he said, hoping it didn't sound out as petty as it felt. "No, I mean it. I really, really mean it. They'd be stupid not to hire you."
She smiled, her eyes filling a little. He had to get out of there, before he did something stupid--like throw himself at her feet.
"I'm going to be doing a video game marathon over at Fezza's tonight," he said quickly. "It'll run late, so I'll probably crash over there. I'll have Stacy give you a ride home, okay?"
Without another word, he turned and stalked away.
CHAPTER 11
"Well...that's the complete tour," Richard said to Tessa the next day. They'd spent the better part of the afternoon going through Impresario Games' "campus." It was larger than Mysterious Pickles. Actually, it seemed like MPG could fit in their lunchroom. They were working on dozens of games, for all the movie and TV franchises that Impresario put out. They'd spent a good deal of money and, reading between the lines, they'd seduced or outright stolen as many employees from other game companies as they could.
And now, they were trying to seduce her. Or at least, Richard seemed to be.
"So you'd want me as a coder?"
"More than that," Richard said, with a friendly smile. Only the glint in his eyes said "salesman." He gestured to his office. "I'd like you to take point on this project."
"What exactly does that mean, 'take point'? Do you mean be a project manager? A producer?" she asked, sitting in the seat he motioned to as he closed the door and took his own place behind his desk.
"You certainly could be either," he said, "but it sounds like you want more. You were able to rally the troops, get them going. And you obviously know about coding."
She sat up straighter and suppressed a smile. When she showed him--and the not-surprisingly hostile Mike Powers--the code she'd contributed to her Mystics project, they'd both been impressed. Granted, in Mike's case it had been reluctant, but after Abraham, that was nothing.
"I'd like you to become the lead engineer," he said.
She coughed. "I'm sorry. Lead engineer?"
"You've obviously got the coding skills. And more importantly, you know the property--the show--and you've got leadership." He looked frustrated for a moment. "I'll be honest with you. We're months behind and our production is going to hell. The guys just don't understand it. And much as I like Mike, he's just not getting it done."
"Are you firing Mike?" she asked, in a low voice. She didn't particularly like the guy, but she'd done some Googling on him prior to coming down here, to know what she was up against. He had a decent career, and he'd been an engineer with both Sony and Microsoft prior to coming here to Impresario.
"No, no. He'd still be working with you for the time being, before we moved him to another game," Richard said dismissively. "Your team would be larger, and you'd have a lot more work to do."
"I appreciate the confidence," she said, hoping she wasn't selling herself short, "but I've just...I've only worked as an audio coder up to this point. I've never been a straight coder, much less a lead engineer."
"I get the feeling you're a natural," Richard said. "More importantly, you can produce results, and in a short period of time."
She took a deep breath. This was huge. This was just what she'd always wanted.
So why did she feel so numb?
"What sort of pay?" she asked.
Richard smiled, the smug, satisfied smile of someone who knew he'd sealed a deal. He named a figure. "It's not as much as some others, granted," he said, "but as you've mentioned, this will be your first time in an engineering position. Besides, the benefits are stellar, and I'm sure we could provide bonuses--contingent on finish date, sales results, that sort of thing."
She frowned. That didn't necessarily sound bad, but it didn't sound quite right, either. At least, that wasn't how they did it at MPG. But it was a small company.
She wished, suddenly, that she could call Adam, talk it over with him. But he didn't even want her there. Or so she thought.
No, she chastised herself. Keep your head in the game.
"What sort of deadline?" she asked.
He looked surprised. "Same deadline," he said. "We want to release by end of the year."
"But..." Now it was her turn to be surprised. "The game...it needs so much work."
"Yes, but you can do the work, and you can rally the troops," he said. "We just need fresh blood."
"No," she said. "It...well, not to put too fine a point on it, but right now it sucks. It'd need some significant changes at the actual story level. That means a lot of re-coding."
"Does that mean you think you can't do it?"
Her back stiffened. "I could do it," she said slowly. "But..."
But it would mean working sixteen-hour days. Of course, if she moved down here, it's not like she'd know anyone anyway. She'd only be going home to Netflix and her regular Skype sessions with Ani. She didn't really need a social life, did she?
Suddenly, she felt a pang. The thing was, she liked going out now. She liked hanging out with the girls from the bookstore. She liked having lunch with Stacy. She'd even enjoyed gaming with the guys.
And Adam...
She more than "liked" hanging out with Adam.
"How many on the team?" she asked, by rote.
His smile widened. "You'd have fifteen people under your supervision."
"How many of them worked under Mike?"
"All of them," he said. "But that won't be a problem."
She'd seen how they glared at her when she'd walked through the office. Oh, it would be a problem, all right. Not one she couldn't surmount...but again, did she want to?
"We'd need you to start right away," Richard plowed forward, starting to pull paperwork out of his desk. "I know that two weeks is the usual notice, but it's not like MPG has any big games in the pipeline, and you're just doing audio for them. They can replace you easily, so you shouldn't feel guilty about that."
He was acting like it was a done deal. "I appreciate the offer," she said. "It's just...it's all so sudden. I need to think about this."
He sighed, and she saw the look of irritated impatience cross his expression before it shifted back to glad handing salesman. "Of course, of course," he said. "Moving, taking on this big challenge, becoming a lead engineer...it's a huge step. Not everyone has what it takes to make this big a change, or to take this kind of opportunity."
She fought the urge to scowl at him. "Thank you for your understanding."
"But we have to move on this quickly," he said, his smile turning just a touch sharper. "So I'll need to know your answer within the next few days. We just can't wait."
"All right," she said. "I'll let you know as soon as I can."
She got up, shook his hand, and headed for the door, going toward the front doors. As she pulled out her phone to call an Uber to get her back to the airport, her mind raced.
Pushy as he
was, he was right: it was a big step. A huge step. It was a risk. She could do it--but only if she devoted herself, one hundred percent, giving up everything else. It meant starting over, being completely alone.
The job she'd always dreamed of, she thought. Right there, landing in her lap.
But was it the life she really wanted?
Adam showed up at the Sea Star at eight o'clock that night, just like he'd promised Casey.
He hadn't crashed at Fezza's--he hadn't even gone over there. He just didn't want to be around the awkwardness and the pain of seeing Tessa pack and leave. Instead, he'd actually rented a room at a North Bend motel. He knew that if he went home, they'd talk, and he'd do something stupid, something desperate.
Like, say, ask her not to go.
But what right did he have? She wanted this. Everything about their friendship had been focused around her getting the respect that she deserved and moving ahead in her job. She had that right.
So why do I keep feeling like I'm getting screwed?
He shook his head. That morning, he'd gone to work, just like always. He'd done his job. And he'd come home to the strangely quiet house that still smelled like almonds and cinnamon and Tessa, and he'd felt hollow as an empty bottle.
But he was still dressed up--well, dressed up enough. And he was going out to dinner, just like he'd said.
Why should he feel guilty?
"You look good in that jacket," Casey said, walking up to him. "You'd probably look better without the frown."
He realized he was scowling, and quickly shook his head, trying to shake off his attitude, as well. "It's good to see you," he said, and it was. She'd had her honey blonde hair cut--there weren't fly-aways, like Tessa usually had. It was perfectly straight and the edge was razor sharp.
"Like it?" she said, doing a little spin.
"You look very...New York," he said finally. And she did. Very polished, very put together.
Almost too perfect, and consequently, somehow unreal. The complete opposite of Tessa, he realized.
She frowned. "Is that bad?"
"No," he said quickly, then walked up to the host. "Um..."
"Reservation for two," Casey said quickly, a bit preemptory. The host took them to their table. She strode ahead, her legs looking miles long in the deep red high heels she was wearing. Tessa would probably kill herself in heels like that, he thought, then winced.
Stop thinking about Tessa!
"Rough day at work?" she asked, the picture of sympathy.
"Nah. Well, a bit." He shrugged. "Not important, really. How'd the interview go?"
"Well, I think." She smiled brightly. "Wouldn't it be weird? Moving back here to Seattle."
"After all you did to get away," he said, then stopped. "Sorry. I didn't mean that to be snarky. I mean, you just really wanted to go to a bigger city."
"I'm realizing that Seattle is a big city," she said. "Big and special. One of those cases where I didn't know what I was missing until it was gone." She shot him a pointed look. "Do you know what I mean?"
He didn't even know what time Tessa's flight back was. He wondered absently if that guy from Impresario was taking Tessa out to dinner--schmoozing her, getting her to stay in San José.You'll love it here, blah blah blah! Smooth flirty bullshit!
He grimaced. Maybe even something like: Why don't I show you around a bit more myself?
He suddenly felt like punching someone.
"Can I get you a drink?" the waiter asked smoothly.
"Absolutely," Adam said, then realized he was perhaps a little too vehement. "I'll have a beer...whatever you recommend." If he hadn't been driving, it'd be something stronger.
"I'm feeling like a nice dry white wine," she said, then spent a few minutes chatting back and forth with the waiter. Casey really did look good, he thought.
A year ago--hell, a few months ago--he'd have sold almost everything he owned to have this chance with her. Now, they were having dinner together. In the restaurant they'd had their four year anniversary, he now remembered----a place he'd planned on proposing around Valentine's Day.
Now, he just wanted to go home and play Call of Duty until he was cross-eyed and passed out.
They ordered dinner. "I was glad that you called me," Casey said, toying with her wine with perfectly manicured fingernails. "You wanted to see me for a reason, though, right?"
Right. The bookstore. Just because Tessa was leaving didn't mean he wanted to leave the sisters high and dry. "You were going to bring something, right? Some package?"
She looked surprised. "Wait, what?"
"The publicity stuff. For the sisters, the bookstore," he repeated.
"You were serious about that?"
He stared at her for a second, puzzled. "Why would I make that up?"
"I thought..." she looked at him, stunned. "You know. That you just wanted to see me. That you missed me."
He still stared. "Well, I did miss you," he said.
"I missed you, too."
"But those girls are going to get evicted if they don't get promotion."
She sighed. Then she pulled out her phone, tapping away. "I emailed you the files I have on some possible news targets and newspaper contacts I have," she said. "Happy now? Can you perk up, so we can enjoy our meal...and focus on other things?"
"You just emailed it?" He frowned. "Why didn't you do that before?"
She huffed out a breath. "I forgot how obtuse you were," she said.
"Right," he snapped back. "Listen, you told me to be here. I told you what I needed help with. Why are you so bent all of a sudden?"
The waiter was in the process of delivering their food and he remained placid even as he hastily put their plates down and fled.
"I really thought you'd be different by now," she said, stabbing at her broiled tilapia with her fork. "You never come out and say anything. You always hedge and haw. You didn't ask me out--you kept hanging out, and being there, and waiting. I had to ask you out."
"I was respecting you," he argued.
"No, you were being afraid," she corrected. "You didn't even ask me to move in with you when you bought that house, even though you still stayed with me all the time, and I was practically living there."
He blinked. "I was waiting."
"Waiting! That's all you do," she said. "You never just come out and ask. You just wait for somebody else to make the move. That's why I moved to New York. I was doing everything, for both of us. You didn't care about getting ahead, or moving forward with me. You were stuck."
"So why the hell are you having dinner with me now?" he said, not caring that other diners were starting to stare.
"Because I thought you were finally going to man up and ask me to stay!"
It was like she'd slapped him. He pushed a little back from the table...and then looked at her. Really looked at her. He saw the tension, and the impatience. Most of all, he saw desperation.
And that's when it hit him.
"Oh," he said, quietly. "So that's how it is, huh?"
"What are you talking about?"
"You aren't moving back because of me," he said. "You got fired."
She went suddenly still, like a rabbit sensing a hawk. "I...I don't..."
"You got fired, and you're having a hard time getting another job in New York," he said. "So you're moving home. You're not getting offers. You're looking for a job." His eyes narrowed and he kept going. "You keep fiddling with your left hand--ring finger. Like you're used to fiddling with a loose ring there. So what, you were engaged?"
Now her mouth dropped open. "I was not."
He sighed. Then he picked up his phone, dialing. "Hello, Mrs. Sanderson? Hi, yeah. It's Adam. Yes, it has been a while."
"You're calling my mother?" she hissed.
"I just wanted to ask--did you know that Casey was engaged out in New York?"
She reached over, grabbing the phone out of his hand and shutting it off. "It wasn't that serious," she said. "It was quick and stupid."
>
"And now it's over." It was like looking at the project board at work--click, and he made the connection. "He worked with you. That's why you got fired."
The angry red blush told him he was on the right track.
"So you're going back to Seattle, on your own terms. You'll show him," Adam said, and that hollow feeling came back. "Not just with the job, but bouncing back with a new guy. Or rather, an old guy, who waited for you. Just that frickin' easy."
"It wasn't like that," she said. "He treated me like shit, Adam. It made me realized how much I had with you. How much I lost."
He closed his eyes for a second. Tessa wouldn't do this to him. She would never have done this to him. She'd never lied, and even if she left, she'd never come back and play him this way, just to soothe her own hurt feelings.
And she wouldn't let him sit around, either. She wouldn't push him to be something he wasn't. She liked the same things he did......except for things they didn't, like Sherlock or Mystics. And she'd shared them. Just like she'd played Skyrim when he'd shared it with her.
She cared about him for who he was. Not for what she could change him into, or what he could do for her.
He'd been an idiot.
"I want you back, Adam," Casey said, quietly. "It'll be just like you wanted it to be."
"Sorry," he said, standing up and leaving money for the bill on the table. "But it really can't."
"But I love you!"
He saw the tearful, pained expression.
"I'm really sorry," he repeated. "But I'm in love with someone else."
CHAPTER 12
Adam stood at SeaTac Airport, looking at all the arriving flights from San José. He'd had about eight cups of coffee to make up for his lack of sleep the night before, but he figured he'd probably be shaking anyway, even without caffeine jitters.
He'd been there a few hours, hoping she was actually coming back tonight. He had tried to call, but her phone was off. He wasn't sure what he was going to say, but he had to say something. And he really, really wanted to say it to her as soon as possible.
When he saw Tessa walking out of the gate, looking determined, he felt a huge surge of relief, followed by a cannonball of adrenaline and nerves. Of course, she always looked determined, he thought to himself, smiling. She was wearing San José business casual--khaki slacks, white shirt, long sweater--as well as her customary ponytail. He knew the minute she saw him, because her eyes widened.
Level Up: A Geek Romance Rom Com, Book 1 (Fandom Hearts) Page 15