by Kal Spriggs
As my mom continued to talk I stared out the hospital window. Some part of me felt shock, even anger, at what she had done. Who had said I wanted to do archeology like my parents? Granted, I did know quite a bit about it and it did interest me... but it wasn't what I wanted.
Yet I couldn't really feel angry with her or my dad, much less Grandma Effy. All three of them had simply assumed that since things had very much fallen apart at Champion Enterprises (in large part due to what I had done), that I would want to put it all behind me.
They weren't entirely wrong, I knew. I kind of did want to leave it all behind, to bury myself someplace where I didn't have to think about what had nearly happened to me... or what I had done to survive.
Despite the pleasant temperature in the hospital room, I couldn't help but shiver at that. The two Enforcer Inspectors hadn't told me the entire truth. The two men I had shot hadn't had any chance at recovery, I had killed them both. Worse, the four men back at the building where I'd been held had all died, trapped in a building with the poison gas I had mixed up. Thanks to the Enforcers keeping the records sealed (mostly to smooth things over, I knew), that little tidbit hadn't made the news... but it was something that bothered me. I had taken the lives of six people.
I wanted to feel sick, to feel bad, but all I could think about was Ted. The Enforcers still hadn't found him, they didn't know if he was alive or dead. The nerdy, socially awkward boy who I'd dragged into this was missing, probably dead... and the men I had killed had been responsible for that. If I could change anything, it would be to bring Ted back, not those other people.
Could I go to university like this? What would I have in common with the others in my studies? What would I say when they asked me how I spent my summer? I could just picture it now, yeah, I killed six men and helped to bring down a weapons smuggling operation, it was great. But it wasn’t as if staying here and attending Nelsons would be any better than going to Rogers. Different material, but the same types of people. My classmates would be kids who had never worried about anything more important than what clothes to wear or who to ask to a dance. I’d never been to a real dance… but I’d taken the lives of six men who had kidnapped me and tried to kill me.
I was the weird one. I would be the one who wouldn’t fit in… and I knew it.
My mom had finally noticed my silence. “You okay, sweetie?” she asked.
I looked over at her and all my confusion disappeared. My mother had never had to fight for her life. She didn’t understand what I had been through. She had lost her father as a child, but that had been a distant thing. Yet for just a moment, I loved her all the more for trying to give me that kind of life, an ordinary, boring, but pleasant life where I could be anything I wanted and do anything I wanted, be happy and never have to take on responsibility beyond for myself and my family.
“Mom,” I said, “I’ve got a favor to ask…”
***
The antique clock ticked out in the library, disconcertingly loud against the quiet of the blue stone house. The Admiral sat behind her desk, her face unreadable as I stepped into her study. I’d asked my mother to let me do this alone. I knew she didn’t understand, but that was probably unavoidable.
“Ma’am,” I nodded at the Admiral. Neither of us wore a uniform so I couldn’t salute… for that matter, I wasn’t a candidate cadet anymore.
She gave me a thin smile, “I’m glad to hear that you’ve made a full recovery, girl. I can’t say what I really expected to happen at your internship, but you certainly exceeded it.”
“Thank you,” I said. I licked my lips as I thought about what to say and how to say it. The crisp sheets of paper in my hand seemed to tingle in my fingers like a live wire.
She seemed at a loss for words as well, “If that is all…”
“Have you finished selecting cadets for the upcoming trimester?” I blurted.
Her eyes narrowed, “Not entirely. Final applications were due last week, but I’m personally reviewing some final selections… why?”
That was what I had hoped to hear. I stepped forward and set the archaic sheets of paper on her desk. “I understand that while final applications were due, exceptions can be made for extenuating circumstances, so long as the application is hand-delivered in proper format.” I said the words with a mouth that seemed as dry as my homeworld’s deserts.
The Admiral’s eyes widened ever so slightly. She picked up the crisp sheets of paper and looked at them and then at me. “This is an application?” she asked and I nodded in response. The Admiral cocked her head, “I understand you were offered a position at Nelson’s… and at Roger’s.”
I nodded again, “I feel that the Academy would be a better fit.”
“Do you?” The Admiral asked and her eyes narrowed. “Well, it is my duty to review all applications and I’m afraid to tell you that your application is rejected…” I felt my heart sink at her words “… conditionally.”
“Conditionally?” I asked, too surprised to do more than repeat her word like a parrot.
“I want an answer, a real, honest answer to what I am about to ask,” The Admiral said. Her blue eyes met mine and I could sense the decades of her experience judging me. “What changed your mind?”
I met her eyes. For the first time since the hospital, I felt like I could tell the truth. “When they kidnapped me… when I fought for my life, I never felt more alive.” I swallowed and looked down, “The hospital kept me for another two weeks after I got a clean bill of physical health… for a psychological review. Their psychologist said I should be more traumatized, mostly by my actions. She felt I didn’t have enough regret for what I had done.”
The Admiral sat back, “Did you enjoy killing those men?”
I looked up and shook my head, “No. It still makes me sick to think about it, but I don’t regret it. They tried to kill me and instead I took their lives. I’m proud of the fact that I am alive. I realized today that other people can’t do the same thing… like Ted, the other intern, the one who helped me. They still haven’t found him… he might well be dead. I wish I could have saved him too.”
“That’s why you want to join, then?” The Admiral asked.
I shook my head, “Not for him specifically. For my mom, for my dad. For my brother. I want to protect them from people who would hurt them. I want to protect those who can’t protect themselves. Does that make sense?”
The Admiral leaned forward and took my application and put it in a folder. “It does, girl.” She put the folder on a stack. “I’m accepting your application.” She peered at me for a long while, “You may go.”
I just nodded, suddenly it was all I could do to keep from crying. I wasn’t sure if it was pride or excitement or gratitude or just a mix of all three. I turned, sharply and headed for the door.
“Oh, and Jiden,” the Admiral said. It was the first time I had ever heard her use my name and it made me stand a bit straighter as I turned to face her. “You can never save them all. Sometimes, the best you can do is exactly what you did: survive and avenge them.”
I didn’t have an answer to that, but I nodded and turned on my heel, suddenly picturing the painting of my dead grandfather. I couldn’t save everyone. I knew that, but somehow, thinking about poor Ted, the thought weighed heavily on me as I left the Admiral’s house.
“Are you sure about this?” My mom asked me as I stepped out into the sunshine. The bright light and warmth drove away all of the dark thoughts.
I smiled, “Mom, I’ve never been more certain of anything in my life.” In only an hour I would meet up with Alexander Karmazin and Ashiri Takenata. This was how it should be. I had friends. I wouldn’t be alone. I would protect the people I cared about, my home… and I would do that because it was what I wanted, not what other people told me that I should want.
This was my life and I was going to fight for the things I believed in.
###
About the Author
Kal Spriggs is a sci
ence fiction and fantasy author. He currently has five series in print: The Valor’s Child YA series, The Renegades space opera and space exploration series, the Shadow Space Chronicles military science fiction and space opera series, the Fenris space opera series, and the Eoriel Saga epic fantasy series.
Kal is a US Army combat veteran who has been deployed to Iraq and Afghanistan. He’s a graduate of a federal service academy and used a lot of his experiences from there in writing the Valor’s Child books. He lives in Colorado, and is married to his wonderful wife (who deserves mention for her patience with his writing) and also shares his home with his son, several feline overlords, and a rather put-upon dog. He likes hiking, skiing, and enjoying the outdoors, when he's not hunched over a keyboard writing his next novel.
The End
Table of Contents
Valor's Child
Chapter One: My Parents Are Evil
Chapter Two: I Meet The Admiral
Chapter Three: Feeling Like I'm Missing Something
Chapter Four: I Put The Wrong Foot Forward
Chapter Five: That Went Well
Chapter Six: Not Quite Dead...
Chapter Seven: Why Did I Do This To Myself?
Chapter Eight: Then They Gave Me A Gun
Chapter Nine: I'm Not Sleeping
Chapter Ten: Okay, It Is Worse Than I Thought
Chapter Eleven: Guns and Friends
Chapter Twelve: Quiet Time
Chapter Thirteen: They Call It The Grinder
Chapter Fourteen: The Daily Grind
Chapter Fifteen: I Rise to the Competition
Chapter Sixteen: I Play Some Silly Games
Chapter Seventeen: Leadership and Stuff
Chapter Eighteen: The Beginning Of The End
Chapter Nineteen: I Take The Fall
Chapter Twenty: I Never Liked Her Anyway
Chapter Twenty-One: Living The Dream
Chapter Twenty-Two: Dreams Are Funny Things
Chapter Twenty-Three: Waking Up Is the Easy Part
Chapter Twenty-Four: I'm Not Really Sure This Was A Good Idea
Chapter Twenty-Five: It Is All My Fault