by Lisa Becker
From: Renee Greene – July 3, 2013 – 10:02 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Par-Tay?
What are you guys doing for the Fourth? Neil from the office is having a block party and invited us. It's going to be a bunch of families, but with kids come juice boxes and cupcakes, so I'm in. Can't believe that it's a year until my wedding. Hurrah!
From: Shelley Manning – July 3, 2013 – 10:03 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Par-Tay?
Making some fireworks of my own.
From: Renee Greene – July 3, 2013 – 10:04 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Par-Tay?
From: Shelley Manning – July 3, 2013 – 10:06 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Par-Tay?
Ha! We're going to dinner and then will watch fireworks from Nick's friend's loft balcony, which overlooks Puget Sound. Have fun, Sweetie. Gotta run. Mwah! Mwah!
From: Renee Greene – July 3, 2013 – 10:07 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Par-Tay?
Sounds beautiful. Enjoy!
From: cassidy – July 4, 2013 – 9:08 AM
To:
Subject: Fwd: Meow 4th Mix
precocious, don't you think?
From: Shelley Manning – July 4, 2013 – 9:10 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Fwd: Fwd: Meow 4th Mix
Precocious? I'm going to blow a fuse!
From: Renee Greene – July 4, 2013 – 9:11 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Fwd: Fwd: Meow 4th Mix
I'm fairly certain she meant precious.
From: Shelley Manning – July 4, 2013 – 9:12 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Fwd: Fwd: Meow 4th Mix
Oh. In that case, I'm still going to blow a fuse! Have fun today.
From: Renee Greene – July 5, 2013 – 11:01 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Fireworks?
Just doing a quick check-in. So, how was last night? I'm assuming fireworks after the fireworks?
From: Shelley Manning – July 5, 2013 – 12:31 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Fireworks?
Damn straight. How was the Fourth in suburbia?
From: Renee Greene – July 5, 2013 – 12:32 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Fireworks?
We won't be invited back next year, that's for sure. Granted we'll be getting married that day next year. But you know what I mean.
From: Shelley Manning – July 5, 2013 – 12:33 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Fireworks?
What happened?
From: Renee Greene – July 5, 2013 – 12:34 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Fireworks?
Neil's wife now officially HATES Ethan.
From: Shelley Manning – July 5, 2013 – 12:36 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Fireworks?
How could anyone hate Ethan? Unless she is a Michigan alum or Wolverines football fan, he pretty much charms everyone.
From: Renee Greene – July 5, 2013 – 12:42 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Fireworks?
He is pretty charming, isn't he? But I digress. All of these kids were running around and playing. Neil's wife brought out some water balloons that they were lobbing at each other. One hit the ground near Ethan and splashed him. Then it happened again.
Finally after the third splash, Ethan told the kids if they get him wet again, they’d better watch out. Needless to say, they made a direct hit and it all went downhill from there.
From: Shelley Manning – July 5, 2013 – 12:44 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Fireworks?
I can see that.
From: Renee Greene – July 5, 2013 – 12:51 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Fireworks?
Oh, it was far worse than you could, or I could have, imagined. By the end of the day, every child there – including Ethan – was soaking wet from head to toe.
He grabbed two "super soaker" squirt guns and started attacking right away. At one point, a kid ran up to him and said, "Mister, I want to be on your team." Ethan responded, "Kid, I don't need anyone on my team," before squirting him with both guns.
From: Shelley Manning – July 5, 2013 – 12:53 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Fireworks?
Hilarious. That sounds like a scene out of a movie.
From: Renee Greene – July 5, 2013 – 12:57 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Fireworks?
There was another "movie moment" where Ethan is running down the street with a super soaker in each arm. There's a five second delay and then you see every kid in the neighborhood chasing after him. I wish I had been recording it, because it was almost too outlandish to be believed. However, it's ALL true.
From: Shelley Manning – July 5, 2013 – 1:02 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Fireworks?
Why would anyone be mad about that? I would think the parents would be thrilled someone else was keeping their brats occupied.
From: Renee Greene – July 5, 2013 – 1:07 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Fireworks?
I think that was initially the case. I managed to broker a truce and all was well. But then Neil's wife brought out the hose and helped the kids spray Ethan. Then she proclaimed they were all done.
Ethan took that as an act of war and said he wouldn't stop until she was soaked. At some point things turned ugly and hoses and big buckets of water came out.
I finally grabbed the hose from his hand and said "enough!" He was like a crazy man. I grabbed his face and forced him to look in my eyes repeating "Enough! Enough!" until he calmed down. Neil's wife was livid!
From: Shelley Manning – July 5, 2013 – 1:10 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Fireworks?
Why should she be angry? She got it all started again. Serves her right.
From: Renee Greene – July 5, 2013 – 1:12 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Fireworks?
That's what Ethan said. But I tried explaining that she was our host and we needed to be gracious.
From: Shelley Manning – July 5, 2013 – 1:15 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Fireworks?
Screw gracious. If a bunch of bratty kids dumped water on me - and ruined my hair
From: Renee Greene – July 5, 2013 – 1:18 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Fireworks?
I think Ethan's hair was okay but his ego was a bit bruised. So anyway, I assume we won't be invited back next year.
From: Shelley Manning – July 5, 2013 – 1:22 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Fireworks?
I would think not. Wish I had been there to see it. Well, Sweetie, your quick "checking in" email has turned into – as usual – quite the long conversation. Gotta run. Mwah! Mwah!
From: Ashley Gordon – July 12, 2013 – 10:02 AM
To: Renee Greene, Shelley Manning
Subject: Barf!
ARG! I'm so frustrated. Siobhan has been barfing all day. I've already bathed her twice and changed her clothes 4 times and it's only 10 am.
From: Shelley Manning – July 12, 2013 – 10:10 AM
To: Ashley Gordon, Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Barf!
It will get easier. Before you know it, she'll be barfing in the toilet like a big girl.
From: Renee Greene – July 12, 2013 – 10:25 AM
To: Shelley Manning,
Ashley Gordon
Subject: Re: Barf!
Not necessarily. Funny story. When I was about 7 years old, my parents put new carpeting in our den and bought new beige fabric couches with light blue and pink pillows. (How 80's!)
I was home sick from school and resting on the couch watching "My Little Pony" videos when I felt like I was going to hurl. You guys KNOW how I cannot stand to do it, so I was panicked. I called up to my mom, "I'm going to throw up." She yelled "Run to the bathroom! Run to the bathroom!" I did run to the bathroom, and while I ran there, I threw up all over the new couches and carpet. Oops!
From: Shelley Manning – July 12, 2013 – 10:29 AM
To: Ashley Gordon, Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Barf!
Are those the same beige couches you had in our apartment in college?
From: Renee Greene – July 12, 2013 – 10:30 AM
To: Shelley Manning, Ashley Gordon
Subject: Re: Barf!
They are indeed the same.
From: Shelley Manning – July 12, 2013 – 10:31 AM
To: Ashley Gordon, Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Barf!
Then I've thrown up on those couches, too.
From: Renee Greene – July 12, 2013 – 10:31 AM
To: Shelley Manning, Ashley Gordon
Subject: Re: Barf!
LOL! So does that make you feel better, Ash?
From: Ashley Gordon – July 12, 2013 – 11:12 AM
To: Renee Greene, Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Barf!
No. Just shows me all of the additional body fluid grossness I have to look forward to.
From: Renee Greene – July 12, 2013 – 11:14 AM
To: Shelley Manning, Ashley Gordon
Subject: Re: Barf!
Hang in there!
From: Shelley Manning – July 12, 2013 – 11:16 AM
To: Renee Greene, Ashley Gordon
Subject: Re: Barf!
I've had some mighty fine times with the grossness of bodily fluids. It's not all that bad.
From: Renee Greene – July 12, 2013 – 11:19 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Barf!
Have you no sympathy, woman?
From: Shelley Manning – July 12, 2013 – 11:19 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Barf!
You can't tell because this is email, but I'm giving you the finger right now.
From: Renee Greene – July 12, 2013 – 11:20 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Barf!
Ew! Who knows where that finger has been.
From: Shelley Manning – July 12, 2013 – 11:21 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Barf!
The list is long...but distinguished. Mwah! Mwah!
From: Renee Greene – July 17, 2013 – 10:23 AM
To: cassidy, Mark Finlay
Subject: Dinner tomorrow
Hello there, friends. Just confirming that we are still on for dinner Saturday night. Shall I make a reservation somewhere?
From: Mark Finlay – July 17, 2013 – 11:22 AM
To: cassidy, Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Dinner tomorrow
Cass is working mornings for a few more weeks and then switches to nights. Her call time is 5:00 a.m. Could we do an early dinner somewhere?
From: cassidy – July 17, 2013 – 11:27 AM
To: Renee Greene, Mark Finlay
Subject: Re: Dinner tomorrow
im pretty tired. could we make it an early causal night?
From: Renee Greene – July 17, 2013 – 12:01 PM
To: cassidy, Mark Finlay
Subject: Re: Dinner tomorrow
Yes! Let's be like old people and hit up an early bird special. I'll figure out a place and text you the details. Can't wait to hear all about the movie making, Cassidy. Talk soon!
From: Renee Greene – July 26, 2013 – 8:05 AM
To: Ashley Gordon
Subject: Still on?
Hey there. Are we still on for lunch tomorrow at Mel's? Hope so. My sweet angel must miss her Auntie Renee terribly.
From: Ashley Gordon – July 26, 2013 – 9:22 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Still on?
Yes, we are still on. I'll meet you there at noon. I'll be easy to spot. I'll be the frazzled woman with spit up on her clothes toting around a 9 month-old and all of her gear.
From: Renee Greene – July 26, 2013 – 9:24 AM
To: Ashley Gordon
Subject: Re: Still on?
Save a little room in that ginormous diaper bag of yours. I have a present for her.
From: Ashley Gordon – July 26, 2013 – 9:27 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Still on?
That's nice of you, but you don't need to keep buying her things. She's getting spoiled rotten.
From: Renee Greene – July 26, 2013 – 9:29 AM
To: Ashley Gordon
Subject: Re: Still on?
Speaking of getting spoiled rotten, I'm going to get a pedicure after lunch. Care to join me?
From: Ashley Gordon – July 26, 2013 – 9:32 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Still on?
Wish I could. Oh, how I wish I could. I haven't had a pedicure in months. Sadly, I don't think Siobhan will be welcome at Tip Toes nail salon.
From: Renee Greene – July 26, 2013 – 9:34 AM
To: Ashley Gordon
Subject: Re: Still on?
Well, if you ask me, her little piggy toes make that all worthwhile. See you tomorrow.
Chapter 3 – Major Conundrum
From: Renee Greene – July 27, 2013 – 2:32 PM
To: PBCupLover, Shelley Manning, Ashley Gordon
Subject: Major conundrum
Fuck! Okay, so if I'm starting off this email with the mother of all curse words, you KNOW it's gotta be bad. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Triple bad. Like "the worst thing in the world" bad.
I was at the nail salon getting a long overdue pedicure. Ethan can attest, they were like bear claws down there. And no, my gnarly toenails are NOT the worst part of this email.
I was reading an US Weekly from three weeks ago - again not the worst part of this email, but perhaps a close second - and there's a picture of Cassidy kissing Marcus Wright on the set of his new movie. It's not a harmless peck on the cheek kiss either. It's a full-on, making out kiss. The caption says, "Marcus Wright sneaking a kiss with a mystery lady on the set of King's Final." Fuck!
From: PBCupLover – July 27, 2013 – 2:34 PM
To: Renee Greene, Shelley Manning, Ashley Gordon
Subject: Re: Major conundrum
Oy! This is bad. Very bad.
From: Ashley Gordon – July 27, 2013 – 3:22 PM
To: PBCupLover, Shelley Manning, Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Major conundrum
Holy moly!
From: Shelley Manning – July 27, 2013 – 4:01 PM
To: PBCupLover, Ashley Gordon, Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Major conundrum
Let's not get ahead of ourselves here, folks. This happened three weeks ago. Maybe Finlay already knows about it and they're working through it.
From: Ashley Gordon – July 27, 2013 – 4:05 PM
To: PBCupLover, Shelley Manning, Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Major conundrum
Do you really think Mark could look past infidelity? I know I couldn't. I would never be able to look at Greg the same way again. Would you be able to forgive Nick?
From: Shelley Manning – July 27, 2013 – 4:11 PM
To: PBCupLover, Ashley Gordon, Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Major conundrum
We're talking about Mark, not Nick. Nick would never stray. Believe me, he's one satisfied man. Anyway, first off, if he has seen this, they aren't married yet so he may be willing to forgive her this transgression. For all we know, it is only one kiss. Second, maybe there
's an innocent explanation.
From: Renee Greene – July 27, 2013 – 4:17 PM
To: PBCupLover, Shelley Manning, Ashley Gordon
Subject: Re: Major conundrum
I'm certain Mark has NOT seen this. If he ever opened a trashy, tabloid celebrity magazine, I'd be shocked. And I'm confident Cassidy hasn't confessed all, because we just had dinner with them last week and everything seemed fine.
He would definitely tell me if he knew she had cheated on him. There's no way he could forgive her. He's such a straight arrow and is so particular about things. And believe me, there is no innocent explanation for this embrace and lip lock. Fuck! What the hell am I supposed to do now?
From: PBCupLover – July 27, 2013 – 4:22 PM
To: Renee Greene, Shelley Manning, Ashley Gordon
Subject: Re: Major conundrum
You need to tell him. He can't marry this woman if she's being unfaithful to him. He needs to know.
From: Ashley Gordon – July 27, 2013 – 4:24 PM
To: PBCupLover, Shelley Manning, Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Major conundrum
Ethan's right. Poor Mark. He's going to be devastated. I'm so glad you are the one that's going to tell him. I don't think I could do it.
From: Renee Greene – July 27, 2013 – 4:25 PM
To: PBCupLover, Shelley Manning, Ashley Gordon
Subject: Re: Major conundrum
Wait. Why am I going to be the one to tell him?
From: Ashley Gordon – July 27, 2013 – 4:28 PM
To: PBCupLover, Shelley Manning, Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Major conundrum
You are the one who found the photo. You are closest to him. It'll be best coming from you.