by Lisa Becker
From: Mark Finlay – January 4, 2014 – 10:32 AM
To: Ashley Gordon
Cc: PBCupLover, Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Update please!
I feel so helpless. What can we do?
From: PBCupLover – January 4, 2014 – 10:40 AM
To: Mark Finlay
Cc: Shelley Manning, Ashley Gordon,
Subject: Re: Update please!
Just keep them all in your thoughts. I'll let you know as soon as I hear anything.
From: PBCupLover – January 4, 2014 – 5:32 PM
To: Shelley Manning, Ashley Gordon, Mark Finlay
Subject: Beyond sad
Okay, here's the latest. Looks like the neurons of the brainstem were destroyed by the stroke. He's basically brain dead. He had previously expressed his wishes that he not be kept alive in this type of state. So they are going to remove life support shortly. They expect that he will pass within a few minutes of the removal from the machines.
After that, I hope I can get Renee to go straight home and get some sleep – she's been up all night – before we head over to the funeral home to deal with the next steps. I'll keep you posted as we know more about services.
From: Ashley Gordon – January 4, 2014 – 5:45 PM
To: PBCupLover, Shelley Manning, Mark Finlay
Subject: Re: Beyond sad
From: Shelley Manning – January 4, 2014 – 6:09 PM
To: PBCupLover
Subject: Re: Beyond sad
I'm booking a flight now. Don't worry about picking me up from the airport. I'll take a cab and I already have a key to your place (don't ask!) Give Renee all of my love and tell her I will be there as soon as possible.
From: PBCupLover – January 4, 2014 – 6:14 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Beyond sad
Thanks, Shelley. She needs you. Just call me when you land.
From: Mark Finlay – January 4, 2014 – 6:22 PM
To: PBCupLover, Ashley Gordon, Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Beyond sad
Oh, man! Tell Renee how sorry I am. Her dad was a great guy and will definitely be missed. I'm here for whatever you guys need. Just let me know.
From: PBCupLover – January 4, 2014 – 8:23 PM
To: Mark Finlay, Ashley Gordon, Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Beyond sad
Thanks, everyone. As you can imagine, Renee is just heartbroken….and exhausted…and eating a lot of frosting tubs. She is really appreciative of all of your emails, calls, offers to help, etc.. She's just not up for talking right now. I'm sure you all can understand. They are finalizing details of the service now and I'll let you know the details tomorrow.
From: Renee Greene – January 5, 2014– 12:02 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Awake?
Are you awake? I didn't want to call this late? Plus Ethan is sleeping and he thinks I am too.
From: Shelley Manning – January 5, 2014 – 12:07 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Awake
I'm here, Sweetie. And I'm on the first flight out tomorrow morning. I'm sorry. So, so sorry. Your dad was probably my favorite of all my friends' parents. I know he was your hero.
From: Renee Greene – January 5, 2014 – 12:09 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Awake
I'm lost, Shel. I'm completely lost.
From: Shelley Manning – January 5, 2014 – 12:11 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Awake
I can't imagine how your heart is hurting right now.
From: Renee Greene – January 5, 2014 – 12:17 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Awake
I'm trying to write a eulogy and I'm blocked. I write stuff for a living – news releases, bylined articles, marketing proposals, brochures, advertising copy, public service announcements, radio copy, mat columns, fact sheets, photo captions, media alerts, pitch letters, letters to the editor, video news releases, etc. Yet I just can't seem to do my dad justice.
From: Shelley Manning – January 5, 2014 – 12:22 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Awake
I know that writing is therapeutic for you, but I think you should try and get some sleep. You're likely exhausted and maybe inspiration will strike after you've gotten a bit of rest.
From: Renee Greene – January 5, 2014 – 12:41 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Awake
I'm sitting here with a tear on one cheek and a smile on the other as I think about him. How do you explain how important someone is when they have taught you everything…everything you know and everything that's important in life.
Sure, he taught me to walk and talk, ride a bike and factor equations in Algebra. But he taught me so much more like how to be a good and kind person, how to treat people with respect, how to act as a professional and how to have fun.
He totally got me and never made me apologize or compromise for being who I am. I don't think I ever told you this story. I was about 29 years old and my dad was golfing with a buddy and his buddy's friend. The friend was asking about me and my sister. When my dad explained that my sister was married and I was single, he offered to fix me up with is brother-in-law. He said he was a nice guy and very successful. "Your daughter will be very well taken care of." My dad responded, "My daughter doesn't need anyone to take care of her."
He totally understood me. I mean, really! How do you put that into words?!?
From: Shelley Manning – January 5, 2014 – 12:43 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Awake
You just did, Sweetie.
From: Renee Greene – January 5, 2014 – 12:49 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Awake
I guess I did. I just don't think this is enough to explain how amazing and important he is…was. I'm heartbroken just typing about him in the past tense. How do I Shelley: It's Ethan. Renee's a wreck. I just put her to bed. We'll see you tomorrow when you get here. Have a safe flight!
From: PBCupLover – January 5, 2014 – 11:31 AM
To: Mark Finlay, Ashley Gordon
Subject: Services
The funeral for Renee's dad will be on Wednesday at 10. We'll be sitting Shiva with her mom and sister until then, so feel free to come by her folks’ place if you want to. See you guys soon and thanks again for all of the support.
From: Shelley Manning – January 5, 2014 – 2:35 PM
To: Mark Finlay
Subject: Need a lift
I need a lift to Herb's funeral. Renee and Ethan are going early. Pick me up at 9.
From: Mark Finlay – January 5, 2014 – 2:36 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Need a lift
Please…
From: Shelley Manning – January 5, 2014 – 2:36 PM
To: Mark Finlay
Subject: Re: Need a lift
Oh, right. Please, Finlay.
From: Mark Finlay – January 5, 2014 – 2:38 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Need a lift
Just giving you a hard time. Haven't been able to do that for a while since you moved to Seattle.
From: Shelley Manning – January 5, 2014 – 2:40 PM
To: Mark Finlay
Subject: Re: Need a lift
You giving me a hard time? More like the other way around.
From: Mark Finlay – January 5, 2014 – 2:41 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Need a lift
I suppose so. I've missed that.
From: Shelley Manning – January 5, 2014 – 2:42 PM
To: Mark Finlay
Subject: Re: Need a lift
Me too. But if you tell anyone, I'll deny it.
From: Mark Finlay – J
anuary 5, 2014 – 2:43 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Need a lift
You just put it in writing. I have irrefutable proof.
From: Shelley Manning – January 5, 2014 – 2:45 PM
To: Mark Finlay
Subject: Re: Need a lift
You know how easy it is to hack a phone these days?
From: Mark Finlay – January 5, 2014 – 2:46 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Need a lift
I design cell phone games for a living, so yeah, I do.
From: Shelley Manning – January 5, 2014 – 2:49 PM
To: Mark Finlay
Subject: Re: Need a lift
Well then, there you go. How do you even know you aren't talking to Renee right now?
From: Mark Finlay – January 5, 2014 – 2:52 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Need a lift
You're the only one who calls me Finlay. At least you're calling me that now instead of Finnidy.
From: Shelley Manning – January 5, 2014 – 2:53 PM
To: Mark Finlay
Subject: Re: Need a lift
You knew about that?
From: Mark Finlay – January 5, 2014 – 2:53 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Need a lift
Yep.
From: Shelley Manning – January 5, 2014 – 2:54 PM
To: Mark Finlay
Subject: Re: Need a lift
You probably want an apology.
From: Mark Finlay – January 5, 2014 – 2:58 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Need a lift
We are all currently in the mindset that life is fleeting and we should tell the important people in our lives how we really feel about them. After all, you never know if it’s the last time we’ll ever talk to them.
From: Shelley Manning – January 5, 2014 – 3:00 PM
To: Mark Finlay
Subject: Re: Need a lift
Do you promise to delete this email after you read it?
From: Mark Finlay – January 5, 2014 – 3:00 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Need a lift
Sure.
From: Shelley Manning – January 5, 2014 – 3:01 PM
To: Mark Finlay
Subject: Re: Need a lift
Here goes. Finlay, you're not so bad. Now delete.
From: Mark Finlay – January 5, 2014 – 3:02 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Need a lift
Thanks, Shelley. See you soon.
From: Mark Finlay – January 5, 2014 – 3:04 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Fwd: Re: Need a lift
I'm giving Shelley a lift to your dad's service and figured you could use an emotional lift right about now. Read on.
From: Renee Greene – January 5, 2014 – 4:09 PM
To: Mark Finlay
Subject: Re: Fwd: Re: Need a lift
Thanks, Mark. That actually brought a brief smile to my face. I so appreciate everything. I'll see you soon.
From: Renee Greene – January 9, 2014 – 7:31 AM
To: Mark Finlay, Shelley Manning, Ashley Gordon
Subject: THANK YOU!
Thank you guys so very much for being there for me throughout this trying time. I'm so grateful for your friendship and support. You've always been with me through the good times and – what I thought at the time – bad times. But nothing can compare to this. I'm just gutted. Nothing can fill the void and probably never will.
But your friendship is certainly helping to ease this emptiness - not to mention the can of frosting that Mark brought. Extra gold star for you, my friend. I just want you to know how much you are all loved and appreciated.
From: Shelley Manning – January 9, 2014 – 8:45 AM
To: Renee Greene, Mark Finlay, Ashley Gordon
Subject: Re: THANK YOU!
Sweetie, it's nothing you wouldn't do for any of us. In fact, you would probably do more with that huge heart of yours. As for Finlay and his gift of frosting, stop being such a suck up!
From: Mark Finlay – January 9, 2014 – 10:02 AM
To: Renee Greene, Ashley Gordon, Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: THANK YOU!
There's this saying that your life is filled with balcony people and basement people. Balcony people bring you up and basement people pull you down. You're our penthouse, Renee. We're just repaying the favor.
From: Renee Greene – January 9, 2014 – 10:31 AM
To: Mark Finlay, Shelley Manning, Ashley Gordon
Subject: Re: THANK YOU!
Oh c'mon Shelley. I know you think Finlay is "not so bad." And Mark, that's beautiful. I will be stealing, uh, er, I mean borrowing that expression from you (without giving you credit).
From: Shelley Manning – January 9, 2014 – 10:34 AM
To: Renee Greene, Mark Finlay, Ashley Gordon
Subject: Re: THANK YOU!
Quotation marks mean a direct quote, eh grammar queen? That means Mark didn't delete a certain email message, which means someone's gonna be sorry.
From: Renee Greene – January 9, 2014 – 10:35 AM
To: Mark Finlay, Shelley Manning, Ashley Gordon
Subject: Re: THANK YOU!
He knew I needed some cheering up.
From: Mark Finlay – January 9, 2014 – 10:39 AM
To: Renee Greene, Shelley Manning, Ashley Gordon
Subject: Re: THANK YOU!
I deleted the message as instructed. You never said anything about not sharing with anyone first.
From: Ashley Gordon – January 9, 2014 – 10:41 AM
To: Renee Greene, Mark Finlay, Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: THANK YOU!
I'm clearly not in the loop on something and that's not acceptable. Please explain.
From: Shelley Manning – January 9, 2014 – 10:43 AM
To: Renee Greene, Mark Finlay,
Subject: Fwd: Re: THANK YOU!
Don't you dare! This does not need to go any farther.
From: Renee Greene – January 9, 2014 – 10:48 AM
To: Shelley Manning, Mark Finlay, Ashley Gordon
Subject: Re: THANK YOU!
Shelley sent Mark an email and basically told him he's a good guy but asked him to delete the message after reading it. He did, but not before forwarding it to me. She's a softy!
From: Renee Greene – January 9, 2014 – 10:51 AM
To: Shelley Manning, Mark Finlay
Subject: Re: Fwd: Re: THANK YOU!
Oops. Didn't see your message in time. Oh well, it's all out in the open now and we can all move on.
From: Ashley Gordon – January 9, 2014 – 10:54 AM
To: Renee Greene, Mark Finlay, Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: THANK YOU!
I would have done the same. A compliment from Shelley is a rare and special thing. I would have probably printed it out and framed it.
From: Shelley Manning – January 9, 2014 – 10:57 AM
To: Renee Greene, Mark Finlay, Ashley Gordon
Subject: Re: THANK YOU!
Alright. Alright. Not sure how we got off on this tangent, but that's quite enough. How about them Yankees?
From: Renee Greene – January 9, 2014 – 10:59 AM
To: Shelley Manning, Mark Finlay, Ashley Gordon
Subject: Re: THANK YOU!
LOL! You guys always know how to make me smile. XOXO
From: Shelley Manning – January 10, 2014 – 8:45 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Okay?
How you doing today, Sweetie?
From: Renee Greene – January 10, 2014 – 9:33 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Okay?
I'm okay. There are bad days and worse days and today is only a bad one, so I'm thankful for that. I know it will get easier, but I'm not sure I want it to. Doesn't seem right that my pain shou
ld lessen. I don't want to stop missing him.
From: Shelley Manning – January 10, 2014 – 9:38 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Okay?
Herb would NEVER want you to forget him or stop missing him. But he would also NEVER want you to be miserable. You are truly his daughter.
From: Renee Greene – January 10, 2014 – 9:51 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Okay?
I know. I remember a few years ago, my accountant, who is also my dad's accountant and golfing buddy, wanted to get a little "aggressive" with my tax return. I told him I just wanted to do the right thing.
He said, "You are your father's daughter." I thought at the time – and I still do – what a compliment! I know he will always live on through me.
But it's just sad to think I won't be able to get his advice about work or just hang out and have a pizza with him. He won't be able to walk me down the aisle or know his grandchildren. Even worse, they won't get to know him. It's just so very...sad. There really isn't any other way to say it. It's just sad.
From: Shelley Manning – January 10, 2014 – 9:55 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Okay?
Okay. Be sad. I give you permission to be really, really sad for a while longer. But then I will be giving you a swift kick in the ass to be less sad. Your agency officially starts on February 1 and he was surely so proud of you and what you accomplished.
From: Renee Greene – January 10, 2014 – 9:56 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Okay?
Thanks, Shel.
From: Shelley Manning – January 10, 2014 – 9:57 AM