by Martha Carr
Leira looked at him and her smile softened. “Fair enough. I’d kick someone’s ass if they did that to me.”
“I’ve missed that potty mouth. It’s become like poetry.”
“I’ve missed that slightly shocked look you get when I swear that you try to hide.”
“That must just be my face because if you’re breathing you’re swearing.”
“Seriously, you have to stop eating like that. It’s not natural, even for an Elf. It’s not even food.”
“Stop counting the number of bags around me and you won’t have a problem.”
“Stop leaving such a trail and make it a little harder for me.” She held up her hand to stop him from countering. “It’s what family does. It’s not exactly healthy all the time, but it’s what we do. We get in each other’s business. You’re the one who taught me that the Elves are all family.” Leira took the 5th street exit toward Rainey Street.
Correk scooped up the empty candy bags, stuffing them in the glove box.
“That’s not a solution. This is still a government owned vehicle. Besides, that’ll attract bugs.” None wearing metallic parts…hopefully.
“We are going to live to be hundreds and hundreds of years old. The way you get into trouble there will probably be a lot more drama ahead of us. You’re going to have to learn to let your older cousin who’s a lot bigger than you are and has been handling magic far longer take care of himself. I did manage to take on a fireball and live to tell about it.”
“I’m going to live to be hundreds… what?”
“How did that part miss you? You’re part Elven. Settle in, Cousin and get your snacks in the bulk size. It’s going to be a long ride.”
Leira let out another laugh as she pulled up in front of Estelle’s, easily finding a parking space near the gate. Correk opened the door to get out.
“When I was a kid I used to think we always got good parking spaces because of a poem I used to say.”
“Oh, okay, we’re going to share now.” Correk nodded, shutting the car door again. “Sure, why not now.”
“Angel, angel with the meter face. Help me find a parking place.”
“Of course it worked. You set an intention. You’re a Light Elf, not a Witch. You were sending a belief out there. Cute poem though.” Correk opened the door as Leira rolled her eyes.
“We should have stopped for pizza,” he said.
Leira shook her head as she got out of the car. “You know, I think you may actually be worse at the touchy-feelie things than I am. That’s saying something. I didn’t know there was something less than zero.”
“Hilarious. You think the food trucks are still open?”
“Massive candy infusion followed by carbo loading covered in cheese and pepperoni. The real magic is that you haven’t passed out from lack of protein.”
“That’s what the pepperoni is for.”
“It’s like you’re trying to do your own runner’s high without the running.”
Leira walked passed the twenty-somethings hanging out on the sidewalk in front and headed to the side gate. She walked onto the patio and stopped suddenly as Correk ran right into her back.
“Why did you stop?” His voice trailed off as he looked in the same direction as Leira and saw a large group of people playing corn hole on the far side of the patio. The regulars were all bunched around one end of the patio watching all the magical community from the Jackalope at the other end, getting ready to toss a bean bag.
Craig looked up and saw Leira standing there. “Leira!”
Both sides looked up together and shouted, “Leira!” in unison, the game forgotten for the moment. Leira slowly picked up her hand and waved at them.
“Who’s winning?” she yelled.
“They’re beating the pants off us.” Mitzi held up her little dog, Lemon, and smiled. “Where’s tall, blonde and just got back to town going?”
“Someone should check on Yumfuck.” He whispered to Leira while waving to Mitzi.
“The troll has proven he can more than take care of himself. You’re just worried he found your new hidey hole for your Cheetos stash. If he did, they’re already gone. Come on, you’re in this. When worlds collide. I think this was an episode of Seinfeld.”
“We’re winning! Three games to one!” Molly smiled and waved at Leira.
“You think they’re cheating?”
“No, I think Oricerans are naturally gifted athletes, especially Elves. I told you that before. No magic necessary.”
Correk went over to the regulars’ side and picked up a bean bag. He waved at Leira and mouthed, go on, pointing at the other side.
Leira went and stood next to Toni. “Honey, where you been?” Toni threw her arms around Leira drawing her in close for a tight hug, her soft afro brushing against Leira’s cheek. She smelled like roses and incense. “You like that? I mixed it myself. You want to take the next turn?” She leaned in and whispered, “and no cheating. Gotta earn the win,” winking at Leira.
“You guys are hanging out together now? How’s that going?” Leira gave Toni a crooked smile.
Toni looked up at Leira and shook her head. “It’s going just fine. You know, we are allowed out in the wild unchaperoned. We all get the rules and play nice with the non-magical and uninformed.”
“Yeah, sure, of course…” Leira gave a short nod. “I just didn’t know y’all traded phone numbers.”
“Of course we did! We all have you in common.” Toni frowned but she was still smiling as she took Leira by the shoulders. “Honey, when it comes to feelings you’re still a little on the slow uptake. Girl, you’re good people and you attract other good people who want to be together. It’s like you naturally go around attracting little pockets of family everywhere you go. Two of your little groups met and of course we liked each other instantly.” She laced her fingers together. “Like a good instant soup when you add water. Yum.”
“You had me till you did the soup thing.”
“Yeah, that might be because I’m hungry. We need nachos.”
Estelle came barreling out the door from the bar, carrying platters of wings and nachos.
“Spooky how she does that especially for a mere mortal.” Toni let out a laugh. “Yes, I checked.”
“Everyone does. I get it.”
“But kinda cool. She’s the reason we’re all gathered here, you know. She made the phone calls. Said something about thinking of forming a league.”
“Yeah, that checks out.”
“Leira! You’re up. Stop the chin waggin and throw!” Scott was waving his arm from the other side, his forehead wrinkled in frustration.
“Right!”
“Keep your pants on and eat a wing. Hey, these are pretty good. Estelle, any chance I can get the recipe for the Jackalope.” Jack took another bite and looked expectantly at Estelle.
Estelle blew out a steady stream of smoke with one eye shut, without taking the cigarette out of her mouth. She sized Jack up and took a pen out of her bouffant, pulling an order pad out of her apron and started furiously writing. “Won’t be the same but you can try.”
“I smell a wings contest brewing!” Kimberly pumped her fist in the air. Cassidy, a younger member of the regulars stepped forward, her dark hair pulled back in a ponytail, clapping her hands.
“I’m in!” Jack smiled and held out his hand.
Estelle tilted her head to the side, eyeing Jack. Her bouffant stayed perfectly still, shifting as one large red structure with the tilt of her head. She stuck out her chin and took out her cigarette, blowing a perfect O. “Challenge accepted. We’ll be the Hot and Saucy. I’ll front our shirts.”
“I’m pretty sure she agrees to form teams so she can come up with the names,” yelled Paul over the cheering and clapping.
“Cool. Our team is the Kickin Ash. Meet back here next Saturday. I’ll drag my smoker here before dawn for our side.”
“I think we have ourselves a Texas cook off. Good luck with my recipe.” Este
lle smiled, the cigarette clamped between her teeth. “We can toss the beanbag around for extra points.”
“You’re in trouble now!” hooted Mike.
“You wouldn’t leave something out, would you little lady?” Jack eyed her good naturedly.
Estelle raised a perfectly drawn on eyebrow. “I’d like you to know when you lose that you lost fair and square.” Ash fell off the end of her cigarette.
“I think the wrong team got the name Kickin Ash,” said Toni.
“Can we get back to the game?” Craig tossed a bean bag in the air, waving a hand at the corn hole board near him. “You’re up, Leira. Still.”
Leira looked at the hole and gave a laugh, winding her arm up like Cassidy did to see if it would help.
“We take winner.”
Leira stopped in mid-wind up and looked over at the five young men standing nearby. The one who shouted was wearing a UT sweatshirt, drinking a Shiner Bock. “We call next.”
Toni looked at Leira and smiled. “Well, maybe we cheat just this once,” she whispered and let out a cackle. “Momma gonna have some fun tonight. They think we’re a bunch of old nerds. Let’s show ‘em a thing or two.”
Leira threw the bean bag and hit just shy of the hole in the tilted wooden board. A cheer went up from the regulars. Correk gave her a crooked smile and shrugged as Jim handed him a beer.
“Come on Cassidy, your turn.” She wound up, spinning her arm in circles and tossed, making a neat arc as the bean bag slipped effortlessly into the hole. Scott and Kimberly patted her on the back as she smiled shyly and took her seat again behind them.
“Nicely played,” yelled Eric as Jim grabbed a bean bag to take his turn.
“Hey, Leira, there’s a tribute for Larry at the Jackalope on Sunday. Finally, a full moon so Jack can pull off the spell. Just us folks. Bring a dish.”
“I’ll be there. I’ll bring my mother and Nana too. You can get to know them a little better.”
“Off a battlefield,” said Jack, wistfully. “We’re going to dance our asses off and try every cheap magic trick we know,” he whispered. “That’s what Larry would have wanted. Gonna boogie all night and toast our friend!”
Jim wet a finger and held it up in the air, testing the wind direction and getting a laugh out of both sides. The man waiting to play gave an annoyed grunt and took a swig from his beer. Leira looked up at them and measured their level of boozed up and ticked off. It was a useful gift to have when she was an Austin police detective. Gave her a sense of how fast things might go south and just how stupid the trigger would turn out to be.
Jim artfully pressed down each eyebrow with his finger, smiled and gave a sideways toss to the beanbag, his tongue between his teeth. The bag spun in two slow revolutions through the air, hitting the top of the board and sliding into one of the holes.
“Nicely played.” Jack patted him on the back.
“That’s game,” said Mike, smiling as he stepped forward to shake his hand. The other players pushed their way through the regulars from Estelle’s to the front, interrupting the smiles and handshakes.
“Our turn,” said their frontman, letting out a loud belch.
Leira pressed her lips together and narrowed her eyes. The trigger was going to be pretty low for this kind of stupid to go off.
“We still don’t cheat, right?” Leira stepped closer to Correk who looked at two of the other team’s members swaying on their feet.
“Won’t be necessary.”
Toni leaned closer to them. “Doesn’t mean we don’t have a little fun, though.”
The regulars from the bar moved out of the way and went and took seats at the nearby tables closest to the magical community. They cheered them on by stomping their feet and doing drum rolls on the table.
“Two more!” One of the young men barked at Estelle. She lowered her eyelids to half mast, blowing out a large puff of smoke, blurring the details of her face, without moving a muscle.
Estelle crooked a finger at the bar without taking her eyes off them.
Toni frowned, shaking her head. “Still not picking up on anything magical. Can’t figure out how she does that.”
“Estelle is a magical being, population one,” said Correk. He took a sip of his beer. “Toni, I think you’re up first for our team.”
“First we have some fun with the youngsters.”
The young man on the other side put down his beer and stood at the line, ready to throw. He nudged his friends and put his hand up beside his mouth, still talking loud enough for everyone to hear. “Bunch of old nerds. Easy pickings.”
“Good sign he was willing to put down his beer,” said Eric.
“This will be fun. Do your thing guys.” Jim stepped out of the way as he glanced at Correk. “They’ve raised this one to an art.”
Toni, Jack, and Molly stood close enough to each other to touch arms, passing a ribbon of energy from one to the next. Molly had a grin on her face as the patio squares beneath the young man’s feet began to glow.
Leira looked around cautiously and noticed none of the other people at the bar were looking over at the light show. Only the young man was suddenly fascinated with his feet. He took a step and the light followed him, changing colors. Every time he moved his foot the light followed. A square lit up to the left of him and he stepped on it, shutting it off.
Leira smiled. “You’re playing whack a mole with him.”
“Not quite. Keep watching the bigger picture,” said Toni.
A square lit up to the right, just a little in front and he shook his head, blinking but stepped on it again as it instantly went out.
“What are you doing? Throw the bag.” One of his friends gave him a nudge.
“Hang on, don’t you see that?”
“Oh yeah, this is gonna be good.” Jack smiled. “Let’s speed her up just a little.”
The squares started to light up in a sequence, right and left, front and back. The man was mesmerized, still hanging on to the bean bag, following the lights.
“Shit! He’s doing the hustle!” Leira could hear the music in her head in time to the steps.
“It’s one of our faves when we come across the drunken and rude,” said Molly, over her shoulder. “Plus, Jack has a thing for Saturday Night Fever. He dresses up in the white suit every Halloween.”
“If only we could figure out a way to get them to do the arms.” Eric lifted his arm over his head pointing. The light sped up faster and the steps took the man in a circle, still doing his best to follow them. As he came around the second time one of his friends stopped him, taking the beer from his hand.
“I’m cutting you off, dude. That’s too weird.”
The young man looked up, his head swimming as he leaned over and puked on his friends’ shoes.
“Oh, gawwwww, the worst.” Toni covered her face with her hands as several of the regulars looked away. Estelle appeared out of nowhere rolling a bucket with a mop inside.
“Didn’t even see her leave the action,” said Jim, fascinated. “How does she do that?”
“A spinning drunk might throw up is not that hard to predict.” Toni pursed her lips. “Yeah, we should have stopped with the first spin. We just about have this one perfected.”
“Why does it take all of you to light up the squares? That one seems easy.” Leira watched his friends help the man sit down and someone took the bean bag from him finally making a toss as it went just shy of any of the holes and slid in front of the board.
“I suspect they have to blend their memories of the song to get all the steps fast enough.”
“Well done, Correk.”
“Not the first time I’ve seen this joke played but usually on a drunken Elf who’s mouthing off and you save the spin for the finale. Just in case.”
“Right.” Jim pointed his finger in the air.
“Okay, my turn.” Leira stepped up and gently bit her lip as she threw the bean bag, easily throwing it into a hole. She shot her arms over her head,
smiling. Correk raised an eyebrow, smiling back at her as he raised his beer.
It didn’t take long for the magical community to reach twenty-one points against the young men who somehow managed to get nine points.
“More than I thought they’d get.” Molly went to shake one of the player’s hands but ended up helping him take a seat instead.
“Uber time for them. You think they’ll remember any of this tomorrow?” Jack pulled out his phone. “This ride’s on me. Where you live son?”
“Fifty-fifty they remember much of anything. Come on Eric, let’s go shake their hands or help them up or make sure they’re alright.” Jim and Eric gathered the young men and helped them gather their things, and head out to through the bar to the street in front. Eric gave the driver a twenty. “Make sure they weave toward their apartment, okay?”
Correk turned his back on everyone on the patio and pulled in enough magic to send a steadying stream to surround the young men in the car, filling them with a sense of peace and calm.
Leira noticed what he was doing and gave a crooked smile, arching an eyebrow. “Someone’s pulled this joke on you. That’s alright, no explanation needed. That was nice of you.” She let out a deep sigh. “Glad you’re back.”
“We’ve established that already.”
Leira let out a snort and ran her hand through her short, dark hair. “Okay, I’m done. Hey, you never got to go to the food trucks. They’re probably closed by now.”
“Not a problem. Have you tried these wings? I’ll wager Jack is going down.”
“Grab some for the…” Leira looked up in time to see a wing moving itself across the table. The regulars were distracted by a story Jack was telling in great detail as Leira moved herself in front of the table, her back to the regulars. She lifted up the edge of the wing to find a troll covered in barbeque sauce, licking his face as fast as he could while carrying the wing. Leira scooped him, wrapping him in napkins and stuffing him in her pocket.
Correk watched her, amused as he took a sip from his beer.