“Raquel?” She says. Spanish accent and all; that’s how I know she’s really mad. She furrows her brow and taps her foot, with her hands on her hips.
“Mom, I’m so sorry,” I start to explain. “I didn’t— we didn’t,” I look between her and Dante gesturing between him and I. “I mean we weren’t—”
“Having sex? Making out? Lying? Which of these weren’t you doing?” She snaps as she looks back and forth between Dante and me.
“I apologize, Ma’am—” Dante starts out.
“And you are?” She interrupts him with a scowl on her face. Oh dear!
“Dante.” He politely holds out his hand to my mom. She looks at it like she detests it, one side of her mouth curled up as her head swiftly flinches back. He drops his hand to his side. She looks back at me, narrowing her eyes, before looking at Dante. “How old are you, Dante?” She spits his name out of her mouth and it infuriates me.
“Eighteen, Ma’am.” He politely answers, rubbing his hand down the side of his leg over and over. He doesn’t look away from my mom, not even once.
“You do know that Raquel is under age?”
“Oh, my God, Mom. We weren’t having sex!” I yell at her.
“Watch your tone, Raquel. I’m asking him a question. I’ll talk to you when I’m ready to.” She snaps at me with her finger to my face.
“Yes, Ma’am. I do know Raquel’s birthday or age rather,” Dante calmly interjects, grabbing my hand and ever so slightly pulling me back. My mom throws a quick glance down at our hands and Dante immediately lets go. “We weren’t having sex, Ma’am. We did however get a little carried away kissing and I do apologize again, Ma’am.”
“I’m sorry. It’s not what it looks like.” I plead with her.
“Say goodbye to Dante. We need to talk. Now! I’ll be in my room, don’t keep me waiting!” She talks through gritted teeth as she turns on her heel and storms to her room, slamming the door behind her.
“I’m so sorry Rock. Damn, that’s not how I wanted to meet your mom.” He apologizes.
“She wasn’t even supposed to be home. I’m sorry, Dante. I better go before she freaks out more. I’ll call you in a little bit okay?” I try to reassure him before he leaves.
***
Reluctantly I walk to my mom’s room. What the heck do I tell her? I can’t think fast enough and I have no valid excuse for what she walked in on. I softly knock and open the door. She’s sitting on the corner of her bed reading.
“So that’s Dante?” She looks up, slamming her book shut and placing it beside her on the bed.
My heart jumps at the sound, “Yes.”
“Explain what I saw when I came in today.” She’s seemingly calm as leans forward, her chin resting on her fist with her elbow propped on her knee. I know better, she’s anything but calm inside.
“That was an accident Mom. Really, I know it looked bad but we were just kissing and I was getting hot.” I flinch realizing my choice of words probably isn’t the best, but quickly continue. “I went to take off my hoodie and accidentally pulled my tank top off.”
“I tripped and fell onto his lips.” She says in a mocking tone, her face like a bratty child. “That’s how ridiculous you sound!”
“Mom!” I’m caught off guard by her condescending behavior. Talk about ridiculous. Look how she’s behaving. Yes, we were getting carried away kissing— granted I have gone a little further than just kissing with him in the past— she doesn’t know that. Besides, how dare she sit here and get angry at me. She’s never home! She wasn’t supposed to be home now. It’s not my fault she decided to come home early.
My anger is ignited but I don’t dare say any of that to her. I know the divorce has been hard on her. I know she works to forget about the pain; but what about me? My parents make all these decisions for their lives and don’t seem to think twice about how they’re affecting me. They've made promises and broken them. They’ve lied to me. They are the ones who thought it best to move me here. Is it my fault I found Dante? Is it my fault that he matters to me? He’s who I spend time with. He’s who checks on me and cares if I’m okay day in and day out. They’re too busy with their pain to see that I have pain of my own, or that I even exist half the time.
The tears well up in my eyes. My mom’s face softens.
“You’re lucky I know how clumsy you are, or I wouldn’t believe you. Don’t let me catch something like that again, mijita. You are too young for that, Raquel. I’ve raised you better. You aren’t ready for that level of a relationship. Don’t get yourself involved in things you can’t handle.” Her face twists a bit and I know she’s thinking about before. Before we moved here. Before the divorce. Before her and my dad’s lives were flipped upside down by me and my mistake; the one that ruined their lives, their love, their marriage, my innocence, my confidence, me. Before.
“Yes, Mom. I won’t. I haven’t. He’s a good guy. I really care about him. He cares about me too.” I wipe my eyes.
“I can see that.” She nods her head and reaches out for me. I reluctantly walk forward into her embrace. This is the mom I remember. I miss her.
She wipes my eyes and smiles into my face. “Raquel, Dante is cute. I can see why you like him. He looks like something else.”
“What do you mean, something else?”
“Travieso.” She says. “The boy looks like trouble.”
“Well, he can be a flirt or whatever but he likes me. He’s had a hard life. I think he can be a great guy, he just needs a chance.” I try to defend him. Besides, I love that mischievous smile of his.
“You can’t change a guy, Raquel. Guys like that, they take a long time to change. Usually it’s at the expense of some good girl’s heart. Don’t let that be you.” She pokes gently at my chest.
“I’m fine, Mom.” I push her finger away and stand up off her lap.
“You aren’t getting physical, right?”
“No.” I say a little too fast.
“Take care of yourself. Please, mijita. You have a bright future.” She kisses the top of my head and places a hand to each of my cheeks, as she looks me in the eye.
“I will.” I smile uncomfortable with the conversation.
She hugs me tight, her chin resting on my head. “I love you.” She holds me by my shoulders, her face a serious one. “And bring him around more; this boy who means so much to you.” Tears start to form again. This is a rare moment for my mom and me. She has no idea what it means to me. I’m torn between an odd feeling of resentment for the mom she has become and a longing for the mom she used to be.
“I love you too, Mom.” I reach up and kiss her cheeks. She leans down and places a kiss to each of mine before I turn and let myself out.
CHAPTER 17
Aside from seeing Shaun at school things run pretty smoothly for Dante and me. Even that has not been as big a deal as I thought. Oh don’t get me wrong, Shaun and Dante eye each other sometimes. He hardly ever looks at me, though. He’s got to be ashamed of himself for what he did.
Life moves on and with the few days we have off for Thanksgiving it’s helped give Dante a chance to make a better impression on my mom. She’s finally started to accept my relationship with him. The first time he came over after the incident was kind of awkward. She wouldn’t leave us alone, hovering like a hawk the entire night. We barely got to give each other a quick peck when he left. Slowly but surely she eased up.
I was finally able to meet his parents, too. One afternoon he asked me to come over. I thought he meant Aiden’s but he said he wanted me to meet his dog. I got so excited. I thought the day would never come. Pulling up in front of his house I was nervous to meet them. I had no idea what to expect. I really didn’t know much about them, since he revealed very little information about his family. All I knew was Mr. King was Dante’s biological dad’s brother. I knew they adopted Dante. I knew that he and Mr. King worked out together from time to time. I also knew that Dante spent most of his time at Aiden’s. I hadn’t
yet got the nerve to ask why that was.
“Hey baby!” He opened the door after I climbed the steps onto the porch. He must’ve been waiting for me. Even in his black gym shorts and plain white t-shirt, he looked so yummy.
“Hi, baby.” I kissed him quickly on his lips.
“Come in. You look nice.” His eyes roamed up and down my body and a wickedly sexy grin appeared, before he moved aside to reveal his parents in the entry way.
“Mom, Dad; this is Raquel. Raquel this is my mom and dad; Mr. and Mrs. King.” His tone was one of respect. It made me even more nervous.
“Nice to meet you both.” I smiled, willing my eye not to twitch.
They both smiled back. Mrs. King had a genuine smile. She stood beside her husband. Her blonde hair framed her small face and her pale hand looked frail as it held his arm. She let go and we shook hands.
Mr. King, however, was an intimidating man. Although he smiled, the smile did not reach his eyes. His was a tight smile, which quickly gave way to a more serious look on his face. He was of medium height and had the same bald fade Dante wore, although his skin was much darker than Dante. I definitely could see the family resemblance.
“Come in. Are you hungry or thirsty?” Mrs. King motioned towards the kitchen.
“No thank you, Ma’am. I just had lunch.” I rubbed my belly.
“We were going to give Tabata a bath if that’s okay with you both?” Dante interrupted.
“That’s fine. Make sure you clean up any mess you make. It was nice meeting you young lady.” Mr. King said and then turned and went to the living room. I got the feeling he didn’t like me.
Dante smiled and grabbed my hand, “Come on.” He led me to his room and opened up his window. “Stand right here. I want her to meet you first.” I stole a quick glance, but he faced me towards the window before I got a really good look.
“Ok.” I said, unsure of myself.
He pulled my chin towards him and kissed me quickly. “Trust me, its fine. I don’t want her jumping all over you.” He winked and jogged out of the room. I took the opportunity to look around. His room was plain. A plaid comforter folded neatly on his bed. A brown dresser and matching nightstand, both polished and not a spot of dust on them. That was it. His closet doors were closed. Either Dante was super clean, or his parents were super strict about cleanliness. Having quickly glanced around the modest home when I came in, I’d have to say it was the latter.
A couple minutes later he walked into sight with his dog on a leash, leading her from the side of the house, to the window where I was standing.
“Tabata, this is my girl, Raquel. Rocky, this is my other girl, Tabata.” The dog jumped up stretching her front paws to the windowsill and wagging her stub of a tail.
“What kind of dog is she again?” I looked down admiring the look in his eye as he knelt beside her.
“A boxer. Brindle,” He quickly glanced at me and then looked right back at her. “She’s a good girl, yes, she is.” He scratched her sides and the dog leaned into his hand, her tongue hanging out of her mouth.
I leaned out the window a bit. “So you never told me, why Tabata?”
“Oh, yea, it’s a phrase we use in a workout that my dad and I do,” He smiled. “You ready?” He reaches his hand out to me.
“Yea, I’ll be right there.” I began to turn.
“No, come through the window. I’ll catch you.” He stopped me.
“Hi Dante, it’s me, Raquel. I trip over nothing and hurt myself randomly.”
“I’ll catch you. Trust me.” His brown eyes bore into me; those two words lingering in the air.
I looked out the window. It really wasn’t a far jump. I could probably touch the ground if I hung from the window. “Promise?” I’m afraid to fall.
“Yes, you chicken. Come on.” He raised his arms, dropping the leash to the ground and stepping on the end of it.
I put one leg out and swung the other over, sitting on the sill. It was scary. I put my hands down and turned my body around attempting to hang and jump backwards.
“No, turn back around. I’ll catch you.” He said.
“I think I can reach.” I lowered myself and then jumped back thrusting away with my hands. BAM! I landed hard on my butt, bouncing a little. I couldn’t even look up. Everything was silent. Tabata trotted over and started licking my face. That’s when I heard the snorting noises coming from Dante and looked up. He had his hand over his mouth, as he tried unsuccessfully to stop himself from laughing.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I’m not laughing.” He cracks up, with tears forming in his eyes. I never heard him laugh so hard in all the time we had been together. His head fell back and he held his abdomen, his laughs sounding like that of a child.
“It’s so not funny!” I sat there with my arms folded across my chest. The dog would not stop licking me.
“Tabata, st-st-stop!” He tried to say it firmly but he couldn’t stop laughing.
“It’s not that funny, Dante.” I looked up finally, rolling my eyes.
“Don’t do that. Don’t roll your eyes at me. You look crazy.” He pointed to me and then laughed some more.
I pushed the dog away and dusted my butt off. “Are you done?” I stuck one foot out to the side, leaned back and crossed my arms.
“Yes. Yes, I am.” He calmed himself down and walked over to the bucket he had waiting near the hose. He began filling it with soap and water. Every so often he would let out a little laugh again. I knew he was picturing me falling.
***
I sat on the edge of his bed, while he went to clean up in the bathroom. He said we would wash the dog, but he was the only one who really did anything. He walked back in, a small towel around his hands. He had changed and was now wearing a white sleeveless undershirt and jeans. Wow!
“What?” He asked.
“I don’t think your dad likes me.” I said.
“Well, if it makes you feel any better, he doesn’t like me much either.” He said nonchalantly, as he threw the towel into a hamper and then sat next to me.
“I’m sure that’s not true.” I lightly bumped my shoulder into his. He clasped his hands together into his lap, his shoulders slightly slouched. “Dante?”
“Yea?” He looked up.
“I—,” My voice trailed as I thought about all the things I wanted to know. Why did I struggle so much with asking him? I knew why. I still had things I hadn’t talked about with him. Things I hadn’t yet told anyone, well, anyone but Nat and Malachi that is; things about my parents’ divorce. The reasons why the only friend I kept in contact with was Malachi. Hell, I hadn’t even told Dante about Malachi for that matter. I didn’t want him to ask why it was that he was the only person I still talked to from back home. Memories of the hell I went through at my old high school started to creep into my head and quickly I pushed them out.
“What is it, Rock?” He seemed apprehensive to ask. Maybe he was as afraid as I was to open up, but maybe it was what we both needed. I worried my lip and shook my head. He stared at me confused, “No, what do you mean no? What’s wrong?” He asked. His voice growing more and more concerned.
“No, I didn’t mean no, I meant, well, I just meant. Ugh! I’m sorry. This is hard.” I tried to get the words to form but they weren’t coming.
“Tell me. Whatever it is you can tell me.” He turned his body towards me, grabbing my hands in his.
“I’m not sure my parent’s like me all that much either.” I finally spit out. I couldn’t believe I was going to find the courage to tell him the truth about me. My chest started to squeeze in and I thought I might hurl.
He started to laugh like he didn’t believe me but when he looked into my eyes he grew quiet. “Your mom? She loves you Rock. I’ve seen it.”
“No, no, you’re right. I know they love me. I wonder sometimes, you know— if it’s because they’re my parents and they have to love me. But, I don’t think they like me much.” I regretted bringing it up. I wasn’t rea
dy. I felt like running—hiding. It was hard to explain without going into the full details. I probably seemed like a melodramatic, spoiled brat to him. I wasn’t ready to confess some of my darkest secrets yet. I didn’t want to scare him off. I wasn’t sure how he would react if he knew everything. A flash of a memory of my parents fighting, screaming, yelling about me, flooded into my head. I stifled it. I couldn’t do it. Dante means too much to me and I couldn’t risk losing him.
“Well, it’s a good thing we have each other.” He pulled me to him. “I happen to like you.”
I looked up and kissed his cheek, relieved that he didn’t push for more and a little sad that I still hadn’t come clean with him yet.
***
We try to spend as much time together as possible but between senior year responsibilities, work and whatever else we have going on we don’t get nearly as much time as we want. Instead we look forward to the couple of weeks we have coming up for winter break and decide to plan for the time we’ll have off.
I lay in his arms on the couch, wrapping his legs around my own. He grabs my hair, gathering it all to one side and nuzzles my neck, “Let’s talk about your birthday. What do you want?”
“Nothing at all. I want to spend it with the people I love the most.” I lift up one of his hands and kiss the back of it.
“There has to be something you want. Come on?” He rubs his finger down the length of my arm, trying to coax me.
“Really, there isn’t.” I attempt to resist him.
“Fine. I’ll ask Nat.” He says, pulling his hand away and picking up the remote. He’s become uncomfortable and fidgety under me. Something’s definitely up.
I sit up, “You okay?”
His eyes dart away from my gaze. He turns the TV off and scoots forward, one leg on the ground, the other wrapped behind me, “I need to talk to you,” That’s never good. My heart begins to beat a little faster. “Remember I told you that I would tell you everything, eventually?” He says, his eyes shifting back and forth between each of mine.
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