Breaking Down (The Breaking Series)

by Smith, Calista

“Yea,” My heart is pounding in my throat at this moment. This can’t be good.

  “I think it’s time. I really care about you Raquel. You’ve stuck by me through a lot. You make me feel like I can be better. I feel at home with you, like I finally really belong somewhere. I don’t want to lose that. I don’t want to lose you.” His voice sounds strained.

  “What happened, Dante? What’s wrong?” He has me so worried and I really don’t like the face he’s making.

  “I messed up. Bad.” He begins to explain, “So, you know how I go to work?” He puts quotations around work.

  “You aren’t working? You’ve been lying to me?”

  “Not technically.” His downcast eyes make him look vulnerable, but I refuse to feel sorry for him. He’s been lying to me.

  “What the hell does that mean? Either you are, or you aren’t.” I snap. Why would he lie to me about going to work? Where has he been going all this time?

  “I’m doing community service.” He confesses.

  My stomach drops, “Community service?” Oh. That’s not at all what I expected.

  “I got in some trouble. Before you knew me, or while we were just getting to know each other. I got caught with some pills, weed and alcohol. I was partying with some people and the cops showed up. I had to go to court. I got lucky because they gave me a chance since it was the first time I got caught with anything like that. The judge gave me community service and I have to take these drug and alcohol classes. Of course, the school found out and I was suspended.” He’s looking me in the eye and I can’t believe what I’m hearing.

  “That’s why you weren’t around all that time?” It finally dawns on me.

  “Yes.” His hands drop between his legs and he looks down at them.

  I let it all sink in. I’m not sure how I feel about this. First things first, “Are you still doing drugs?”

  “No. That’s part of it too. I have to take random drug tests.” He explains.

  “Are you still drinking?”

  “No.”

  I’m thankful that at least he seems to be coming clean with me. “How long had you been on drugs, Dante?” Please tell me this was the first time.

  “Weed?” He scrunches his brow and closes his eyes, thinking hard I guess. “Off and on since I was like, psshh 12 or so, I think.” He looks back at me.

  My heart sinks. “And the pills?”

  “They weren’t mine. I got them that day but I never took them. I thought about it; I probably would have if we hadn’t gotten caught that night.” He grabs my hand and fumbles with my fingers.

  Crap! “At least you’re being honest.” I pull my hand back. What else can I say?

  “You’re mad?” He searches my face.

  “I’m sad.” I say, and it’s the truth. I’m sad for him.

  “I’m sorry. I hate disappointing you. I hate that I’ve been such a fuck up. But I am trying to be better. You’ve helped me so much more than you know.” He tries to grab my hand again. This time I let him. He has tried to change. And I have no room to judge.

  “So how long do you have to do this community service?” I try to mask the disappointment I’m feeling.

  “A year. It’s really not bad, considering.” He says. All I can think about is his future he’s ruined.

  “What about the military?” No wonder Aiden was so worried about him getting in trouble with the whole Shaun incident.

  “I don’t know what’s going to happen. The judge didn’t even count the pills. There were only two and I never took them. They drug tested me. I popped for the weed, but as far as they know it was only that once. I told the recruiter right away. She thinks I can still get in, granted I finish my community service and these classes. I had to write down the times I used weed and what not and as long as it was under 15 times and all these other stipulations she thinks I should be okay— hopefully.” He looks down at his hands where he’s twisting his fingers together. “Are we done?”

  “Why do you do that?” As the words come out I could kick myself. I know damn well why he does it. He feels like he doesn’t belong, like he isn’t wanted. He’s never good enough. I grab his hands in mine, looking him in the eye. “I. Am. Not. Going. Anywhere. You got that? We all make mistakes, including me. You made mistakes. That’s no reason for me to stop loving you, Dante. And I do. I love you. No matter what you do, where you go, who you are. I accept you for all that you are and I love you.”

  He looked like he almost wanted to cry, his lip trembling slightly. The relief in his face was astonishing. He seemed to drink in my love as he pulled me the rest of the way to him and hugged me tight. “I love you too Raquel, so much. Where did you freaking come from? And how the heck did I get you?”

  “I was made for you, duh! I remember when I was a little girl—” I move back slightly so I can see his face. “My mom would pray with me at night and we would send up prayers for my future husband. We were praying for you Dante.”

  CHAPTER 18

  Vacation going uneventfully was fine with me, but it ended up being quite fun. I spent part of the time working and of course volunteering at the nursery and the rest with Dante, Aiden and Nat. We had a couple of memorable dates.

  We woke up one morning and went to Venice Beach. We never actually went into the water, instead opting for shopping and eating. Later that evening we went to Disneyland and I must say Peter Pan is rather romantic when you are soaring through the stars with the man you love. We spent so much time laughing and acting like silly kids. Nat and I had to remind the boys several times to keep their naughty hands to themselves, and behave with so many children around. It was hard. Dante’s sexy smile lingering on his lips all day caused my body to react in ways I could not control.

  The local fair was really fun! Before we left, we stopped at a game where you paid five dollars and got three tries at finding matching colors on the bottom of floating rubber ducks. While Dante and Aiden played, Nat and I did our best to distract the guy working the booth. It wasn’t too hard since he was definitely a boob guy. Aiden was able to find two matching ducks, after him and Dante took turns looking through quite a bit more than they paid for. Dante didn’t have a chance to find two that matched, but he instead swiped one of the smaller prizes for me, refusing to let me leave empty handed. The boys had promised Nat and I that we would leave the fair with bears.

  The following day we spent the night at Aiden’s family cabin in the city of Big Bear. My mom thought I was spending the night at Val’s house. We played in the snow and huddled around a fire afterwards. Dante and I even slept in the same bed, but we didn’t do anything more than we already had. That’s not to say we weren’t tempted. All I can say is that was the best sleep I’d ever had. Ever.

  ***

  It’s Christmas Eve. Dante and Aiden have surprises for Nat and me. Wearing my comfy jeans, chucks and the hoodie I snatched from Dante, we set out for a walk not too far from Aiden’s house. Our pinkies linked, we walk through several blocks of a festive community in the city of Alta Loma. The elaborate lights and decorations are a huge tradition. Cars are waiting in a huge line to get through, but since we walked we don’t have to wait. Dante and I share hot chocolate and popcorn that we buy from one of the houses. We take lots of pictures and even get one with Nat and me on Santa’s lap. Later we go to my house to exchange our gifts.

  ***

  “Okay, I hope you like this. I suck at buying stuff, especially girl stuff.” Dante says, as he hands me a box he clearly wrapped himself. He sits back wide-eyed waiting for me to open the gift.

  “I’m going to love it, because it’s from you, babe.” I lean over placing a gentle kiss on his lips.

  “Open it!” He motions me with his hands, clearly anxious.

  I rip the paper off and tear open the box, discarding the trash all around me. “Dante, how did you? When did you? Oh, my God Dante, it’s beautiful.” I pull the sterling silver infinity ring out and try it on. A perfect fit.

  “You lik
e it?” His grin grows to a full fledge sexy smile.

  “I love it, thank you baby!” I hug him tight.

  Nat smacks my leg, “Are you crying Raquel?” Of course Nat has to point it out.

  “No.” I wipe my eyes, as Dante holds me.

  “Your present! Here, open yours.” I turn to grab it from under the tree. He carefully opens his box, neatly placing the trash beside him.

  “Thank you babe, I love it.” He pulls out the ball cap and hoodie I bought for him.

  “They’re the right ones, right? Aiden helped me.” I smile.

  “Yea babe, but you didn’t have to buy these.” He kisses me several times.

  “Yes I did. You’ve been eyeing them.” My head falls to rest on his shoulder.

  We watch as Aiden and Nat exchange their gifts. Aiden bought her the newest phone to replace the one she’d cracked over break. The present she’d bought him was a little more difficult for her to give. Natalia hid it at my house for nearly a month, so he wouldn’t see it. Dante carried it in from the garage. “It would’ve been obvious if I wrapped it. So I stuck the bow on it instead.” She explains.

  “Thank you, Natty!” He immediately starts hitting the heavy bag, before lifting her off the ground into a bear hug.

  Hungry, we warm up the tamales Aunt Yvette, Natalia, Mom and I made a couple days before. We sit around watching Christmas classics and cuddling in blankets. Mom let the boys stay the night but insists they sleep on the couches, while Natalia and I have to sleep in my room. We end up falling asleep on the couches with them and then run to my room at four in the morning before Mom wakes up.

  ***

  Unfortunately vacation came and went and it was time for school again. Everyone is talking about King’s Ball. We’re letting the guys decide on our matching outfits. They love it since we aren’t giving them that kind of freedom with prom. In fact, Nat had already bought her dress over winter break, but Aiden still hasn’t seen it.

  At lunch Dante and I share a pizza while we sit under the tree talking with Nat and Aiden.

  I look at Dante, “So Babe, What happened last night?” I tried getting a hold of him but he never answered or called back. I knew he wasn’t with Aiden because Nat was. He didn’t have work either.

  “I’m sorry I fell asleep. I was exhausted and I thought I’d take a nap but I ended up sleeping the entire night away.” He kisses my forehead and turns his attention to the slice of pizza we’re sharing.

  “Poor baby.” I pat his bald head and steal a piece before he eats it all. When I look up Aiden is watching us and quickly turns away. Soon after, the bell rings and it’s time for class.

  “Hey Dante, can I talk to you real quick before you take off?” Aiden pulls him aside.

  Nat and I get distracted by the last of the pizza. Dante comes back and although he seems perfectly fine, Aiden seems irritated.

  We start walking to fourth, “So are you going to tell me what that was about?”

  “Nothing, I swear it doesn’t concern you babe. It was a personal thing with Aiden.” He continues walking, not looking at me.

  “Does it affect Nat?” I worry my lip.

  “Not at all. Don’t stress, come on we’re going to be late.” He grabs my bag from me and damn near starts power walking to class. Jeez, he’s determined to get there. I suppose I should be happy he’s taking school seriously, but I can’t rid of the feeling he’s keeping something from me and that pisses me off.

  During class I start to feel bad for not trusting him. If it’s a personal thing between him and Aiden, I shouldn’t worry. He’s already been honest with me about things he hasn’t told very many people and he said it didn’t concern Nat and I. Plus I haven’t exactly been completely forthcoming with him either. I decide to trust him.

  Dante and I meet up after class, like usual and on our way to class it starts to sprinkle. He takes out his jacket and holds it above our heads as we hurry, giggling the whole way. My phone starts buzzing in my pocket. We make it into the building where our next class is at and I pull it out to check who is texting me.

  Suddenly, it’s as though my world has shattered right before my eyes. There on my phone is a picture of Dante lying in bed shirtless with Melanie beside him, kissing his cheek.

  I shove the phone into Dante’s hand. “What the hell is this shit?”

  He looks at the screen and his eyes bulge. “Babe, no! It’s not— this is old.”

  It feels like my teeth are going to chatter, as my chin trembles. “It’s old?”

  “Yes, I swear Rocky.” He fumbles with the phone before handing it back.

  “Did you delete it?”

  “Yes. Why? You don’t need to see it again. She’s trying to start crap. I’ll call her later and set her straight. Come here.” He reaches for me.

  “No!” I back away. “No, I will call her and set her straight.” I insist.

  “Fine. But Rock, don’t let her do this. Don’t let her come between us. She already did it once before. Don’t let her do it again.” He rubs my arms and then pulls me into a hug. I let him hug me and then shuffle my feet forward towards class. I have nothing more to say.

  ***

  Since tonight is the only night we all have off, we meet at Aiden’s for dinner. I kick off my shoes and rest my heels on the coffee table in front of me. Dante hands me a slice of pizza on a paper towel and loosens the cap to my water bottle, before placing it beside my feet.

  “We decided on what we’re wearing.” Aiden says to us.

  “Show me!” Nat squeals between bites of her pepperoni pizza.

  Aiden wipes off his hands on a napkin and stands up, “Come on, bro.” He gestures towards Dante and they leap up the stairs to get their outfits.

  Nat takes a drink and then whispers to me, “I’ll kill him if he has me looking stupid.” She pouts.

  “You’re telling me.” I whisper back. “Knowing Dante I’ll be in baggy pants and a t-shirt, looking like a hobo.” We both start laughing.

  Aiden runs back down the stairs and I’m shocked by what I see, but not as much as Nat is. “Aaaaahh, I love it!” She jumps up hugging Aiden.

  “I knew you would.” He smiles. “I got yours too, babe. It was perfect, I had to.” He hands her the shirt he’s holding. “Right? With your black skinnys and your shoes, too?”

  “Yes!” She smiles from ear to ear holding up the matching white button up shirt and black bow tie.

  “Awe, you two are going to look so darn cute!” I smile. “Okay, I’m scared. Why is Dante taking so long?” I look towards the stairs.

  “Dante!” Aiden calls out.

  He runs down with is arms out in front of him, like he’s flying. He has on black shorts, black Chucks and a Superman shirt. That’s all fine but it’s the socks that have me hunched over cracking up so hard I’m practically hyperventilating. He’s wearing Superman socks with capes attached to the back of them.

  “Are you serious?” I happen to get out between gasping laughs.

  “Yes I’m serious. This is cool! Come on. It’s perfect for us.” He smiles as he continues to fly in circles.

  I can’t even argue, we’re a bunch of goofballs and he’s right, this is perfect. He hands me my Wonder Woman shirt and matching socks with capes.

  Aiden sits down next to Nat on the couch, “I told him that was over the top but you know Dante, he never listens.” He picks up his leftover pizza and takes a bite.

  Nat leans on his chest, “Thank you so much for not even daring to think that would be okay with me.” She points at Dante with a disapproving look.

  “Well I like it, it’s perfect.” I kiss Dante and playfully shoot Nat the evil eye. She puts up her fists like she wants to fight and we both start laughing.

  We finish eating and the guys start playing video games. Nat and I chill out on the couch together while they play. After a few minutes she motions for me to follow her upstairs. We go to Aiden’s room and sit on the king sized bed.

  “Call her
.” Nat says.

  “Now?” I don’t have half the nerve I did earlier, when Melanie sent the text.

  Nat grabs my phone from my hand and scrolls through the texts. “Yes now! Call her. I want to hear what she says.” She hands it back to me.

  The phone starts to ring and on the third ring, Melanie picks up.

  “Yes.” She says. She must know it’s me by the way her snooty tone starts off right away. Or maybe she’s a snot all the time.

  “Thanks for the lovely picture you sent today.” I say, sarcastically.

  “Oh, you’re welcome. I thought you might’ve been curious about where your man was last night.” She replies.

  I had something to say, but now, no words. Nothing at all. How does she know that? “Oh shut up, Melanie! I know that picture is old. Your stupid games aren’t going to work.” I finally yell into the phone, frazzled by her words.

  “Old? Honey, last night isn’t old. But, suit yourself. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. Dante is mine. He may be having a little fun with you, but trust! You are the side piece not me. And when he gets bored with you, I’m the one who will still be here.” She laughs into the phone before hanging up. I hate her! Seriously hate her! And Dante has a lot of answering to do.

  Nat is still sitting with her mouth gaped open. I look at her, “Stop! Just stop. It’s a lie. She’s lying.” I say, but I’m not convinced.

  I get to my feet and hurry down the stairs. The guys are in the middle of a game and I stand directly in front of the TV looking for the power button to shut the console off.

  “Babe, that’s not funny. Move!” Dante says, whining.

  “Hey, hey, hey! That’s cheating. Come on.” Aiden joins in.

  I can’t find the damn power button so I turn the TV off instead and turn around to look at Dante. My eyes are wild with anger and tears.

  He jumps up, “Whoa, hey, what’s wrong?” He grabs my arms. “Baby, what happened?”

  “Baby? Don’t freakin’ baby me Dante!” I shove my finger into his chest. He takes a step back and I poke some more. “Where were you last night?”

  His eyes grow bigger, “Ba— Rock, come on. I told you, I was home. I fell asleep early.” He continues to back up.