Goose bumps attacked my body, rolling across my flesh like falling dominoes, making the hair on my arms stand on end. A curious ache I hadn’t felt in over three years formed between my thighs, making my nipples tingle and pebble.
I wanted to get away from this guy, whoever he was, and never see him again.
My mouth opened so I could speak to Lilly, so I could tell her I needed to get away, but the words wouldn’t come out. Swallowing hard, I cleared my throat.
“I see you have this taken care of,” I muttered. “I’ll just be in the back if you need me.”
I hurried to the rear of the store as fast as my trembling legs would take me.
Once I made it to the break room, I slammed my shoulders against the wall and tried to gain control of my breathing.
“Get it together, Shannon,” I whispered.
I listened from the back as the guy flirted with Lilly, trying to convince her to go on a date with him. Then they must have moved farther away because their words became distant and muffled.
My hands shook as I snatched a few boxes of stock for the display cases and walked back to the front of the store.
Curiosity bloomed until I could no longer contain it, but as long as I was in the back of the store, I was unable to hear their conversation. It was imperative I knew every single detail of why he was there. It was also vital for me to understand why I responded to him so abnormally. If I understood the cause, perhaps I could cure the unwanted feelings he was tugging from within me.
Then everything became clear, and I knew the path I needed to take.
Lilly was freaking out about Devin, but maybe seeing this guy would make things easier?
Maybe it would take her mind off all the things bothering her if she started dating a new guy?
It was a sick and twisted way of thinking. The whole “to get over one, get under another” saying, but if she was dating this guy, it could kill two birds with one stone. She would be occupied, which meant her mind would be engaged and unavailable for her friend Devin, and if she was dating the sexy, bronze god in the front of the store, it would surely cure my unwelcomed attraction to him.
Lilly was my best friend, and I was loyal to a fault. As long as she was seeing him, my mind wouldn’t flutter into this unknown territory it seemed to be launching itself toward. He would be taken, and I wouldn’t have to worry about my body responding to him. He would be hands off for me.
Not that I was thinking about putting my hands on him.
My body, on the other hand, hadn’t gotten the No Men memo. My stomach twisted with sickness while the secret spot between my thighs throbbed and ached for something I refused to give into.
My body and mind weren’t on the same channel. They weren’t on the same anything. My cognizance was screaming no to everything my body was feeling, and I breathed a bit easier knowing my brain would win the war.
The memories were always victorious.
My sickness could never be cured.
My irrationality had taken my brain hostage without demands and refused to release it. I knew as long as it was locked away behind my wall of crazy, it would always stay put. My brain could never allow my body to push me toward its urges.
My dark past and the memories came rushing forward like a mentally altered white knight, fighting anything that threatened my newly acquired sanity.
“I actually have something I have to do this Saturday night. I’m sorry, maybe some other time,” Lilly said with a forced smile.
She wasn’t lying.
She did have plans this coming weekend—plans that included me—but that didn’t stop me from opening my mouth and shutting down her rejection.
“Lil, why don’t you invite your new friend to your birthday party Saturday night?” I suggested.
Sure, it would put this guy in my proximity again, but as long as he was with Lilly, it was worth it.
I kept my attention on the task of stocking the display with the boxes I had in my arms. I was sure I looked calm and cool as if I were just working, but inside, my heart was drilling in my chest and making it next to impossible to breathe.
Needless to say, it was my fault Lilly had a date to her birthday party. A date I could tell she wasn’t thrilled about, but whatever it took to fix my issue.
I had a selfish moment.
It happened.
He needed to be untouchable, in case my mind decided to finally heal. In case my white knight became a pansy and ran in the opposite direction of my inner fight. In case my brain was finally released from its hellish prison.
“You ladies have a nice afternoon,” he said before he turned to leave the store, happy with the outcome of his visit.
It was then, and only then, I turned away from my task and took another look at him.
His back muscles flexed with his stride, and when he reached up to put his shades back on, I could see the intricate network of veins bubbling from his tan, muscled arms.
He turned back and grinned at Lilly, the tilt of his luscious lips sending another wave of chills across my flesh, and then he was gone. The bell above the door chimed with his exit, and finally, I was able to breathe again.
BY THE TIME SATURDAY NIGHT CAME, and we were getting ready for Lilly’s birthday party at her mother’s house, I still hadn’t gotten the guy who came into the store out of my mind. I hoped I would have, but it seemed I went to sleep every night with his grin and dimples playing on repeat.
It was sickening.
Thinking of a total stranger that way literally nauseated me, but I couldn’t shut it off.
I tried everything to get out of going to Lilly’s birthday party for several reasons. The main reason being I was apparently a terrible friend since I was even considering skipping her party, but also because I didn’t want to see Matt, her date; the guy who branded himself on my memory without even speaking to me.
Pathetic.
Of course, there was also the prospect of spending the night with her mom’s rich friends. It was next to impossible to be comfortable around those people. They had a tendency to look me over like I was a piece of trailer park trash waiting to be tossed.
Our other friends would be there as buffers, but nothing was worse than old hags dripping in diamonds looking me up and down in disgust because I was financially beneath them or, as I had heard one say once before, “A little too curvy for my own good.”
Whatever the hell that meant.
I was fat.
Get over it.
I tried not to think about that remark or the weight I seemed to be gaining on a weekly basis no matter how much I watched what I was eating. If I even looked at something fattening, I gained a pound, and I looked a lot. Since I refused to be weak for anybody, food was my weakness.
I was in the middle of checking out my thickening waistline in the mirror in the living room when the doorbell rang. My breath hitched, and I waited quietly in hopes that Lilly would come out of her room thinking I was still in the shower and answer the door.
I wasn’t that lucky.
Even though it was the last thing in the world I wanted to do, I strode across the room to the door and pulled it open with a tight smile that made my cheeks ache.
Matt was standing there, leaning his shoulder against the doorframe with a knowing grin on his thick lips. He wasn’t an idiot. He knew he was handsome. He was aware of what his presence did to women. He relished in it, enjoying their looks and shivers and bathing in their attention like the filthy man he was.
His suit looked expensive, and his dark hair was carelessly tousled into the perfect amount of accidental sex appeal.
God, he looked tasty.
Like chocolate and caramel and all things crave-worthy.
I bet he tasted as succulent as he looked.
Not good for you at all, but magically delicious.
The kind of delicious that caused weight gain and diabetes. Except instead of doing bad things to my body, he was making all my senses go into over
drive. My heart rate went up, ripping into my ribs until I felt its beat vibrating my entire center.
He looked around me, not even paying me a bit of attention, yet he had the nerve to say, “Hey, gorgeous. Is your girl Lilly here?”
Gorgeous.
Yeah, right.
How would he know what the hell I looked like, considering he had never really looked at me?
I didn’t even attempt to respond to his rehearsed flattery.
“What’s your name again?” I asked, even though I already knew his name.
I felt like he needed a knockdown off his high horse, and I could tell by the widening of his eyes that he wasn’t accustomed to being unmemorable.
He chuckled, the sound sending yet another wave of vibrations across me. I found myself shaking as if a cold breeze slid over my skin.
Icy.
Shocking my system with shivers.
“My name’s Matthew, sweetheart.”
“I’m not your sweetheart,” I deadpanned.
His grin lifted, the dimple punching me in the gut and pushing the oxygen from my lungs. “Noted.” He chuckled.
The door creaked when I tugged it open all the way and made space for him to come inside.
A night with him at Lilly’s mom’s house, which would be full of rich, snobby people, meant I was sure to have the most uncomfortable night of my life.
“Lilly! Matt’s here!” I called through our small apartment.
Thankfully, she appeared in the living room within seconds, looking just as beautiful as usual. Her makeup was perfection, and her hair curled just so. She was breathtaking and clueless to her beauty.
Matt’s eyes lit up when Lilly came into the room, and I was happy to see him so engrossed in her. As long as he was interested in Lilly, I could never be interested in him.
He was off limits and far away from me.
Exactly how I liked my men.
TWO
MATTHEW ELLIS
CHUBBY WOMEN SUCKED DICK like they were starving. At least that was what my friend Daniel told me. He was a complete asshole, but he was hilarious about it.
All jokes aside, though. He’d once dated a heavy girl, and I’d never seen him so content. He said the sex was incredible because plump girls were more willing to satisfy. He said their low self-esteem made them grateful for anything they could get.
Basically, from what he was saying, overweight women were low-maintenance fucks.
Always giving.
Never worried about receiving, which sounded like the ideal situation for a guy like me.
It was fucked up to even consider a woman that way, but I craved the simplicity of that kind of arrangement.
My usual hunting game exhausted me. Lately, the women I’ve found were hard to please and egotistical as fuck. Since I myself tended to be a bit on the self-centered side, it never played out well. Two selfish people trying to enjoy a night of sex was a bad state—one where neither walked away completely satisfied.
I couldn’t remember the last time I left a woman’s bed impressed. A night of being treated like a chunky girl’s tasty treat was exactly what I needed, and something about Lilly Sheffield told me once I went fat, I’d never go back.
She had good blowjob lips—thick and cushioned, begging to be probed—and while I wasn’t really into chunky girls, even I had to admit her ass was sweet and round. She looked capable of handling a hard fuck, and I was ready and willing to test that theory out.
She wasn’t technically available, and what I was doing was fucked up, but Devin Michaels deserved it. I never thought I would see the day when he gave a damn about a woman, but once I saw the lovestruck look in his eyes, I knew it was time to pounce. And so, years after high school, I was finally getting my revenge.
It didn’t matter how much time had passed; the hurt of walking into my girlfriend’s bedroom and seeing her being fucked into oblivion still burned in my chest. I was stupid in love, and I let the devastation of seeing Devin fuck my girl ruin everything I had worked for.
One of my biggest regrets was that I didn’t go in and beat the life from him, but it was as if the moment had sucked all my fight and energy away from me. The dizzying, blinding pain I felt from the heartbreak was crippling, so instead of fighting, I left them alone without even interrupting them.
I shut her bedroom door as her screams of ecstasy echoed through my mind and took the stairs one at a time to the first floor. Even after I was in my car and on the way back to my house, I could still hear the sounds of them fucking—his body slamming into hers—and the filthy words he was saying to her were etched so deeply in my memory it made my brain ache.
Devin and I weren’t friends then. Hell, we didn’t even go to the same school, but he had unknowingly destroyed my life, and it was time I got payback. Just thinking of the football career I threw away and the deep depression I fell into was enough to take away the guilt of fucking him over.
I hadn’t meant to become his friend over the years. I only got close to him so I could seek out my revenge. Still, friends or not, I needed to do this for my sanity—to even the playing field—and to remind myself never to fall for a woman ever again.
“You smell good,” I whispered in Lilly’s ear.
It wasn’t a lie.
She did smell amazing—sugary and delicious—ripe and ready for the picking.
“Thank you,” she replied.
“Vanilla and cherries, that’s what you smell like.” I moved closer, running my lips across the shell of her ear.
I smiled when I felt her shiver in my arms, and my smile grew exponentially when I noticed Devin standing across the room watching us.
I’d seen the way he looked at her. I knew what a man in love looked like. Just the thought of my ex had made me look that way before she fucked me over.
Hurt flashed through his expression, and even though I knew it was wrong, satisfaction struck me deep. So deep I almost purred with pleasure.
How does it feel, motherfucker?
I pulled Lilly closer, her soft and full body moving with mine as we danced in a room full of overprivileged pricks and pampered princesses. People with money never bothered me because they were my peers. My family had more money than God, and I was just another rich boy gone bad with my family’s money to keep me afloat and my family name to keep me out of jail.
It wasn’t long until I felt Devin at my back. Tension flowed from him in waves, making my spine stiffen and my smile grow so wide my face began to hurt.
The song we were dancing to was coming to an end, and when the last ripples of the melody floated through the space around us, I turned and beamed at Devin’s angry expression.
His eyes were bloodshot with fury. His hands gripped tightly in fists at his sides as if he was aching for a fight. His cheeks flushed red with the hate of heartbreak and devastation. A feeling I remembered like yesterday.
Good.
Let him feel exactly what I once felt.
He pulled me by my collar, and I continued to smile. He was doing exactly what I had hoped he would, which was make a scene. I wiped at my cheek and chuckled when he practically hissed in my face.
“What the hell, Matt?” His eyes darkened as the fury inside him festered and boiled.
The shit was about to hit the fan. He was playing right into my game, and I was loving every second.
I pulled away and plastered an even bigger grin on my face.
“Dev! What’s up, bro?” I asked cheerfully, playing the friend card right to the end.
His eyes moved from mine to Lilly’s. Again, devastation swam across his expression.
“Can I talk to you for a minute?” he asked, tugging on my arm, his vise grip digging into my muscle.
I pulled my arm from his grasp and turned back toward Lilly. Discomfort stiffened her expression, but I didn’t care. I was a selfish prick, and this entire situation was for me.
Lifting her hand, I pressed a soft kiss to her fingers and grinned at her
. “I’ll be right back, sweetheart.” I threw in for extra measure.
A pretty blush covered her cheeks, and the heat of Devin’s stare baked the side of my face.
I chuckled carelessly while he dragged me across the room away from where Lilly could hear us.
“You’d better start talking,” he growled.
He knew that I knew they were together. I first saw them together at a gas station and ended up talking them into going to a party with me. He didn’t know it then, but I fed her strong drinks all night, and when she needed a ride home, I was more than happy to give her one.
It was that night when I saw his love for her, and at that moment, my plan for revenge had been hatched.
I pulled my arm from his grasp. If he kept grabbing me, he would have hell to pay. I would only take so much before I snapped on him because I had years of rage on my side. Meanwhile, he only had a few minutes.
“What the hell’s your problem, Devin?” I asked.
I knew exactly what his problem was, but I was having too much fun watching him sweat.
“Why are you here with Lilly? Better yet, why are you even here at all?” he asked.
“I was invited,” I answered honestly. “I’m her date.”
His face turned so red it looked purple, and I knew I’d struck a nerve.
Finally.
“The hell you are!” he roared. “You stay away from her. I’m serious, Matt. You stay the hell away from her.”
His yelling drew the attention of the entire room our way. I leaned in close, ready to rip his heart out the way he ripped mine out years ago. I had all but rehearsed the words I would say to strike the final blow, and the excitement at finally being able to say them was making me giddy.
“Look, man, you blew it. Get over it. Just stand back and watch the master work.”
His jaw clenched, and I knew I had him. I wanted him to hit me. I wanted him to make a scene and show his ass. I knew women, and I knew that by exploding in front of everyone she knew, he would push Lilly right into my arms.
Hot & Heavy (Chubby Girl Chronicles Book 2) Page 2