Aluminum foil wrapped the windows, keeping her light bill down during the summer months and the cold air out during the winter. Her front porch wobbled when you stepped up the three wooden steps. It was no mansion, but it was paid for, and thanks to Grammy’s disability checks, she was able to cover the extras like electricity and water.
I tapped on the hollow door, and the trailer shook with my knocking.
“Come on in,” she called out, her voice carrying through the thin walls.
Opening the front door, I heard the buzz of her window unit, regulating the temperature in the tiny place to her liking. The inside was always dark, thanks to the aluminum foil on the windows, but with the darkness and the hum of her window unit, I was always able to get some of the best sleep.
“Hey, Grammy,” I said, closing the sun out as I shut the door behind me.
“Hey, honey, I’m glad you stopped by,” she said from her favorite recliner across the room. The small TV I had bought her was on, illuminating the tiny space. “Your pop should be home from work any minute now.”
I paused, feeling sadness swoop in.
"Grams," I said softly, kneeling next to her chair. "Pop’s gone ... remember?"
Her hand turned over, and she squeezed my fingers. "Of course I do, hon, but he’ll be here any minute. Don’t you worry."
Her attention never strayed from her program, and my heart ached to the point of tears. I wiped them away and stood.
"Are you hungry? How about I make you something better than a microwave meal for dinner?"
She finally looked up from her program and smiled at me. "Spaghetti?" she asked. Her eyes turned sad and dark, and I knew she was back again. "It was your pop’s favorite." Her voice faded away as she lost herself in her memories.
"Of course, Grams. I’ll make you spaghetti." I leaned over and kissed her on the head.
The kitchen needed cleaning. Dirty dishes and old food cluttered the counters. Grammy always kept a clean house, and seeing it so filthy further let me know she wasn’t well. Clutching the laminate countertop, I stood at the sink and took a deep breath.
Her episodes were coming more frequently. They didn’t last more than a few minutes, but I knew I would have to make a decision soon because I couldn’t leave her like this any longer. It hurt too much to know she was slowly forgetting everything about her life, and she was alone doing it.
Cleaning while cooking, I managed to whip the small space into shape as the spaghetti bubbled on the stovetop. An hour later, the place looked the way it used to. I made her a plate, and we sat at the old table in the eat-in kitchen and ate dinner together. Within that time, she had two more episodes, both times talking about Pop as if he was still alive. She spoke as if the past five years hadn’t happened at all.
After we were done eating, we watched a bit of TV. It wasn’t long until she was dozing off while sitting in her chair.
"Let’s get you ready for bed, Grams," I told her, turning off her TV.
She nodded and groaned as she pushed herself up from her seated position. I helped her, and we walked together down the long, narrow hallway to her bedroom. She needed a bit of help undressing, and I assisted her when she got her nightgown stuck around her neck. It took us a bit, but finally, she was dressed for bed.
"Will you comb my hair, Shannon? I have this monster of a knot in the hair on the back of my head, and I can’t reach it." She touched the back of her head, and her fingers combed through her graying hair until she found the knot.
"Let’s see what I can do." I smiled at her, retrieving her brush from the bathroom.
I brushed her long beautiful hair and had the knot out within seconds. She brushed her teeth, and I helped her to bed. The blankets were pulled up to her chest when I leaned over and kissed her softly on the forehead. Before I could pull back, she reached out and grabbed my hand.
“I have something for you, Shannon,” she said, shocking me with her moment of absolute clarity.
She hadn’t been this lucid throughout my entire visit.
“Hand me the little porcelain box on the dresser,” she directed.
I did as she told me, going across her bedroom and retrieving the tiny box. It had been on top of Grammy’s dresser for as long as I could remember.
She sat up in bed and popped the little top off. Reaching inside with a single finger, she pulled out a gold wedding band.
“This is for you,” she said, setting it in my palm.
“What is it?”
Her face lit up with memories, and she grinned. “It’s your pop’s wedding band. He wanted you to have it.”
My heart ached. “Gram, I can’t take this.”
It belonged to her. It was the symbol of his love for her, and I knew without her saying it how much it meant to her.
“You have to, hon. He told me himself he wanted you to have it. He said, ‘Iris, give this to Shannon when I’m gone, so she can give it to her precious moment when she finds him.’”
Tears rushed to my eyes, and I nodded, accepting the gift even though I knew I would never have anyone to give it to.
Setting the porcelain box back on her dresser, I tucked her into bed once again. And as if the moment of complete clarity never happened, she looked up at me and said, "Will you stay with me until I fall asleep? I get so scared when your pop works late."
I swallowed, blinking hard to keep the tears at bay. "Wild horses couldn’t drag me away."
Setting Pop’s ring on the bedside table, I climbed into bed with her and laid there long after her breathing evened out and her soft snores filled the stillness of the trailer. I hadn’t meant to, but I let the comfort of home and the steady hum of her window unit lull me to sleep.
I woke an hour later with a start. Turning to check on my grams, I found her sleeping soundly. I slowly climbed over her and out of bed. Leaning over, I kissed her forehead and then tiptoed out of the back room.
I made sure everything was off and put away before I left the trailer and locked the door behind me. I wanted to stay the night with her, but I hadn’t brought anything with me, and since I had to be at work early the next morning, I had to get home. But I would be back to check on her. If I had to come over every day, I would until I figured out what to do.
The drive back to Charleston took longer than usual. A three-car pileup had traffic moving at a crawl with brake lights visible as far as the eye could see. Since the thermostat in my car was crap, I was chilled. I spent the drive running over my options. It was obvious Grams couldn’t live alone anymore, but there was no way I could move back to Somersby.
There was no work there.
No opportunities.
And even if I did move back, I would still have to hire someone to watch over her while I worked, assuming I even found a job.
No.
That wouldn’t work.
My only other option was to put her in a home. Maybe a place full of other older people so she could be social and feel alive, but those places were expensive, and the fact remained I had no way to pay for it.
By the time I got back to the apartment, I was still clueless about what to do. I unlocked the door and walked into our place only to find Devin and Lilly going at it on the couch like a bunch of teenagers.
Men.
They were everywhere I turned, and I was over the entire scene.
Even though it was truly disgusting, I found myself longing for what Lilly had, which made it ten times worse. I was so confused about everything in my life. All I wanted to do was shower and go to sleep, but by the time I was out of the shower, Devin was gone, and Lilly was sitting at the end of my bed waiting for me.
“Sorry about that,” she said shyly. “We got a little carried away. You know how it is.”
I didn’t, but I didn’t say that. Instead, I chuckled and shook my head with a forced grin.
“No worries. It was hot,” I lied.
“He just makes me so … I don’t know.” She ran her palms down her face. “
I can’t get enough of him.”
I smiled, wishing I could understand that feeling but knowing I never would.
Thinking of all the things I was going to miss—all the things he took away from me—pressed sadness against my chest.
Love.
A family.
Children.
All my precious moments.
They were things I would never be capable of—things that would require physical intimacy.
“I’m glad you’re happy,” I said.
And I was. Lilly was one of the best people I knew, and she had endured just as much, if not more, in her life. She deserved happiness.
“I am. I’m so happy it scares me. I think …” She paused. “No. I know I’m falling for him.”
I wanted to tell her to run from those feelings as fast as she could. Roll army style away from the crazy, gripping the dirt with greedy nails until she was so far away from those feelings and the catastrophe of being around men.
I wanted to warn her of all the bad things men could bring into your life, but I didn’t. Instead, I smiled and said, “He seems like a really nice guy.”
And I guess in a lot of ways he was, but my distrust was too strong.
That night, I laid awake in bed. Unable to sleep, I tossed and turned until I finally gave up and started to play Tetris on my phone. My eyes grew heavy after an hour of watching the colorful blocks fall down my screen, and I felt myself drifting to sleep.
Sleep was pulling me under when my phone lit up, igniting my room in a green hue. Its ringing blasted into the silence of my space, and I jerked awake.
With blurry eyes, I poked at the screen until I pressed the connect button.
“Hello?” I answered, my voice full of sleep.
“Hi. Is this Shannon Daniels?”
I leaned up onto my elbow, jarred by the desperation of the lady’s voice.
“Yes. This is she.”
“Oh, thank the Lord. My name’s Lois. I’m your grandmother’s neighbor. I found your number in the bottom of her purse.”
My heart dropped, and my breath caught in my throat.
“Yes, ma’am. What’s wrong?”
“Well, it seems your grandmother got up for a late-night snack and burned her trailer down.”
“Is she okay?” I whispered, the words feeling stuck to the sides of my mouth.
“Yes. She’s fine. The firemen found her walking down the road in her nightgown looking for her husband.”
Tossing the covers back, I grabbed at clothes in a rush to dress.
“I’m on my way,” I said into the phone before disconnecting the call.
Slamming my drawers shut as I rushed accidentally woke Lilly up. She came to the door yawning and scratching the side of her face.
“What’s going on?” she asked. “Where’s the fire?”
I paused at her choice of words, feeling like my entire world was falling apart around me.
“At my grandmother’s house,” I said.
Her face paled. “Oh, my God. I’m sorry, Shannon. Give me two minutes to put some clothes on and I’ll go with you.”
The interstate was empty, the long black asphalt looking like a highway of death, so the hour-long trip to Somersby was no match for my ninety miles per hour. Lilly gripped the little handle above the door the entire time with a stiff spine and a fear-frozen expression. Forty minutes after leaving my house, I made it to the small quiet town.
When I pulled into the trailer park, I could barely get through since so many firetrucks occupied such a small space. Instead of trying, I parked on the side of the dirt road at the entrance and hopped out of my car. Lilly was right behind me as I ran toward my grammy’s trailer, and when I got there, I couldn’t believe my eyes.
It was gone.
All of it.
Apart from the metal frame and the concrete blocks holding that frame, everything else was burned and dripping with water from where the firemen had tried to put the fire out. Loud crackling noises from the stuff still burning beneath her trailer filled the night air, and the smells of burnt aluminum stung my nose.
All my childhood memories.
Everything my pop and grammy ever owned.
It was gone.
And then I remembered Pop’s ring Grammy had given me earlier in the night, and the tears slammed into me so hard I moaned in pain.
I’d left it on her bedside table.
It was as if fate had pushed her to give me the ring on this night to keep it safe from the impending fire, and I had left it there to burn.
My future.
My precious moment.
Our lives.
Completely charred and turned to ash.
My eyes scanned the area until they landed on Grammy. She was sitting inside the ambulance with an oxygen mask covering her face.
I rushed to her, jumping into the back of the ambulance and taking her soot-covered hand.
“Grammy, what happened?” I asked, my voice sounding small and unsure.
She was my mother. She had raised me, and I had almost lost her.
She looked over at me, her aged eyes dazed and chaotic.
“Find my Shannon,” she said in a panic. “She was sleeping in her room, and they can’t find her.”
I pulled away, confused by her words.
“She’s only ten years old. She’s still in there.” Tears sprang to her eyes.
I pulled her to me and cupped the back of her head.
She wasn’t okay.
She hadn’t been okay for a long time, but I no longer had time to figure out my next move. I had to move now.
“Shh,” I soothed her. “Don’t you worry about Shannon. She’s perfectly safe.”
Lilly drove my car to the hospital, so I could ride in the back of the ambulance with Grammy. She cried the entire trip and worried about her husband and ten-year-old me. It hurt to watch her in the state she was in, but all I could do was hold her close and reassure her that everything would be fine. I couldn’t find it in my heart to tell her the truth that Pop and ten-year-old Shannon were long gone.
I had to wait in the hall while they gave Grammy a checkup, taking her blood pressure and measuring her oxygen levels. Once they finished examining her, the doctor came out and called me over to the side of the waiting room.
“How is she?” I asked.
I was stressed. My hair was piled on top of my head, and I was wearing a nice work top with skull-covered pajama bottoms and fuzzy boots. Needless to say, I looked a bit on the crazy side. I was in such a rush that I hadn’t paid attention to the clothes I grabbed.
“As far as the fire goes, she’s fine. I assume she left before the fire was large enough to cause any physical damage to her. No smoke inhalation. No burns. There is a problem, however.”
I paused, knowing exactly what he was going to say and dreading the moments that would follow from that point on.
Nodding, I said, “I know.”
“I’m afraid your grandmother is suffering from dementia. As I’m sure you’re aware, it’s usually a symptom of a more serious condition. Your grandmother can no longer live alone. I’m sorry, but you should consider having her put into a facility where she can receive proper care. I know it’s a lot, but it’s simply too dangerous for her to be alone anymore.”
Tears rushed to my eyes, and I blinked them away. I had known, but I hadn’t realized how bad it was. I thought I still had time, but apparently, I was wrong.
“Thank you,” I said, swiping at a wayward tear before he could see it.
He nodded, patted my arm, and walked away, leaving me with one of the hardest decisions I would ever have to make. I had to put my grammy in a nursing home. I had no way to afford it, and I knew it would break my heart, but I had to do it. It was for her own good. I couldn’t risk losing her.
FOUR
MATTHEW
“I THINK YOU NEED TO GET LAID, MAN,” Jonathan said. “Look at your shoulders. You’re uptight, and the muscles in you
r right arm are bigger than your left.” He waved his finger at my body. “You’re jerking off too much.”
Jonathan and I had been best friends for three years. We met at a charity event where my mother and his father were the ringleaders. We spent the night drinking his dad’s expensive scotch while our parents partied and rubbed elbows with some of the world’s richest. We had been inseparable ever since. When you saw one of us, the other wasn’t usually far behind.
He was my wingman, my sidekick—the brother I never had—and when my back was against the wall, he was the one in front of me holding off the fight until I was loose again.
We got into a lot of shit over the years. My indiscretions were not nearly as bad as his were, though. Where you might find me speeding or gambling, his vice of choice was guns. If an AK-47 was anywhere on the streets of Charleston, you could be sure Jonathan’s fingerprints were on it somewhere. I never understood why he sold guns because it wasn’t like he needed the money, but then I’d remember the rush I got when I placed a large bet, and I understood.
He was reclining in a deck chair sipping scotch from a crystal glass in a seven-hundred-dollar pair of Thom Browne swim shorts and Cartier sunglasses. Swept back from his face, his long blond hair was wet from a dip in the deck-top pool on his father’s two-hundred-foot yacht. If Jonathan was nothing else, he was definitely over the top. But the one thing he wasn’t was wrong.
He was right. Since the night of Lilly’s party, I had been feeling off—uptight—angry. I thought getting revenge on Devin would make everything feel better, but it didn’t. All that night got me was fucked up nose, two black eyes, and a pissed-off mother once Mrs. Sheffield, Lilly’s mom, gave her a call.
Rich women ran in packs like fucking chatty wolves, ready to gossip about and pick apart their prey. I should have known my mom would hear of it and bitch. She was always bitching about something.
I was a grown man.
Why the fuck was my mommy getting phone calls like I was a third grader?
It pissed me off.
Still, I was feeling itchy and ready for a confrontation.
Hot & Heavy (Chubby Girl Chronicles Book 2) Page 4