by Penny Jordan
‘I recognised you from a photograph of you I saw in a paper.’ A trace of sadness touched her mouth. ‘It’s just as well I always take the English papers, otherwise I’d never have known that Joel had married. But then no doubt he considers that I don’t deserve to know. My son takes a great delight in punishing others for what he considers their sins, but then I suspect you’ve discovered this for yourself?’
‘Mary Jensen told me about you,’ Cassie responded awkwardly, ‘about what happened.’
‘And you discovered for yourself how my son chooses to regard me?’
Cassie looked away. It was plain that his mother thought the world of Joel, and it was equally plain that she knew exactly how he felt about her.
‘I was very surprised to read that Joel had married.’
Cassie flushed, knowing that his mother must be thinking, especially to such a plain creature, and suddenly the need to tell someone the truth became unbearable.
‘Only because he needs my company,’ she began bitterly, and then soon it was all pouring out, not just her marriage to Joel, but things she had never dreamed of telling anyone, fears that had tormented her for years; the pain of being plain and unloved, the agonies she had endured as a teenager.
When it was over Miranda said quietly, ‘You love him don’t you?’
For a moment Cassie was too stunned to reply and then she said unevenly, ‘Am I so obvious?’
A reassuring smile restored some of her equilibrium. ‘Only to someone who’s suffered the same thing. I think you have good grounds for hating me Cassie. To a large extent it’s my fault that Joel is the way he is.’ Sadness darkened her eyes. ‘I tried so hard to do what was best, but… I have a plan,’ she said suddenly, a smile breaking through. ‘I’ve always wanted a daughter, Cassie, and it would please me very much if you would accept me as a sort of honorary godmother for a while.’
She radiated warmth and love Cassie thought, blinking a little. She could rarely remember ever being so drawn to anyone before, and it saddened her to think that Joel had deliberately denied himself the pleasure of having such a person in his life. Whatever the rights and wrongs of what she had done Miranda was a woman who could only enrich the lives of everyone she met.
‘Come on, go upstairs and wash your face. I’ll make us both an omelette and then when we’ve eaten it we’ll sit down and talk. When do you expect my errant son back, by the way?’
Cassie bit her lip and then said in a low voice. ‘I’m not sure. There was a telephone call for him a while ago. A…woman. It may be that he won’t be back until tomorrow.’
‘Oh.’
The small word held so much; understanding, kindness, compassion, and Cassie pushed back her chair, wanting to escape from the room before she broke down again.
When she got back downstairs true to her word Miranda had prepared for them a deliciously fluffy omelette but Cassie could not do it justice.
Miranda was a warmly entertaining companion, and in other circumstances Cassie knew she would have been more amused by her anecdotes about her life in Florence.
‘You seem very happy,’ she said wistfully at one point, observing the tender expression in Miranda’s eyes as she talked about her second husband.
‘More so perhaps than I deserve,’ Miranda agreed quietly, ‘although I can never forget that my happiness was bought by the death of one of my sons and the loss of the other.’
‘Oh no…’ impulsively Cassie reached out towards her. ‘Andrew’s death was a tragedy, but not your fault.’
‘Not morally perhaps, but emotionally…ah that is another matter. Joel was always my favourite,’ she added, confirming what Mary Jensen had already said, and when Cassie told her this, her face lit up. ‘Mary is still living here? I must try and see her, she was always such a good friend and wise counsellor to me.’
‘Joel believes you preferred Andrew to him,’ Cassie told her. ‘I’m afraid…’
‘That he is a bitter, resentful man who stubbornly clings to the prejudices of his childhood, refusing to re-assess them through the eyes of an adult? Yes, I know,’ she agreed sadly. ‘I have come to believe that Joel has more of his father in him than I once thought, and it seems to me that you are paying the price for what he sees as my sins.’
‘I sometimes suspect he despises the entire female race,’ Cassie sighed. ‘Oh, he has scores of beautiful women-friends, but deep down inside I don’t believe he genuinely cares about any of them.’ She saw the expression on her companion’s face and gave her a painful smile, ‘Oh, don’t worry, I’m not suffering from any illusions, if Joel was asked to make a choice I know he’d choose a beautiful rather than a plain woman every time.’
‘You consider yourself plain? My dear you are not,’ Miranda told her, ‘merely in need of a little gilding.’
‘You forget, it is only elegant flowers like lilies that benefit from gilding, common or garden daises it merely highlights their ordinariness.’
‘Nonsense,’ Miranda told her crisply, suddenly very like her autocratic son. ‘You have far too low an opinion of yourself Cassie, something which I’m sure my charming son has been at pains to foster. Tell me, when Joel snatched you away so impulsively was there no young man at hand to take umbrage at his high-handed behaviour?’
‘Only Peter Williams,’ Cassie told her, adding, ‘I told you, we were engaged…’
‘Yes, of course… I take it you have seen nothing of him since?’
‘Well no, he did come here to see me.’ Briefly Cassie explained what had happened, just managing to conceal the rich tide of colour threatening to swamp her pale skin as she remembered how Joel had reacted to Peter’s visit, but that was hardly something she could discuss with his mother.
‘Umm…’ The dark blue eyes looked at her shrewdly, but Miranda added nothing to her original comment.
At ten o’clock by mutual consent they both went to bed. Miranda had had a tiring day, having flown from Italy that morning and come straight from Heathrow in a hired car. She could not stay long, she told Cassie, but she wanted to stay long enough to see her son.
They were halfway through the next day before she got her wish. Cassie was chatting to Miranda as they drank coffee in the library when she heard a car outside. Seconds later she heard Joel’s firm tread across the hall. As he reached the library door he called out sharply, ‘Cassie, that car outside, who does it belong to?’
Cassie was saved the need of responding as Miranda walked calmly toward the door. Framed within its aperture she said softly, ‘It’s mine, Joel.’
Cassie had thought she had seen him looking bitter and angry before, but it had been nothing compared with his present expression.
‘What the hell are you doing here?’ he demanded harshly, striding towards the door.
‘I came to introduce myself to your wife, seeing as you seem disinclined to do so,’ Miranda responded mildly, not seeming at all concerned by his fury, while Cassie flinched back, nervously aware of the tense undercurrents infiltrating the room.
‘Well now that you’ve introduced yourself, you can leave,’ Joel announced tersely after a few seconds’ silence. ‘I told you once before, I won’t have you here…’
His harsh cruelty provoked Cassie into a shocked protest. ‘Joel, she’s your mother,’ she told him, for once oblivious to the warning signs darkening the irises of his eyes.
‘Oh yes, she’s my mother, and because she is my mother, I’m left to guess at the identity of my father. Something she probably doesn’t even know herself.’
The bitterness of his words; the total unexpectedness of them stunned both women for a second. Miranda was the first to recover, her voice only slightly tremulous as she said quietly, ‘You are being both insulting and unfair, Joel. Whatever my other sins, I can assure you that I never had a child by anyone other than my first husband…’
Navy-blue eyes held navy-blue, while on the sidelines Cassie held her breath. A little to her surprise Joel was the first to look awa
y. ‘I want you to leave,’ he said tersely, but some of the intense bitterness seemed to have left his voice.
‘So I shall, once Cassie has packed her things,’ Miranda agreed lightly, smiling sunnily as though unaware of the effect of her words on the pair studying her.
‘Packed her…’Abruptly Joel switched his attention from his mother to Cassie. ‘What the hell…’
‘Cassie is coming back to Florence with me for a little holiday. The poor child looks exhausted, Joel, and besides I want a chance to get to know my new daughter-in-law.’
‘Cassie tell her you’re not going,’ Joel demanded ominously.
On the point of doing so, Cassie remembered that he had come to her after spending the evening and perhaps even the night with another woman; that he had treated her with thinly disguised contempt from the start; and that if she stayed she was running the danger of him discovering her shaming secret. Without giving herself time to think she took a deep breath.
‘I am going Joel,’ she told him firmly.
‘I see.’ His lips thinned angrily as he studied her with cold eyes. ‘And when may I expect you back?’
‘You will get her back my son, when you come to collect her,’ Miranda answered for her.
For a handful of seconds Joel glared at them both, and then turning abruptly on his heel he stormed out of the house. Cassie waited until the sound of his car engine had died away before saying slowly, ‘Did you mean that Miranda, about taking me back to Florence with you?’
‘Every word of it,’ Miranda assured her softly. ‘It came to me last night that it would be just the thing. I told you I wanted to play godmother, Cassie. Joel prefers beautiful women you told me, well between us we’re going to turn you into a woman so beautiful that my obnoxious son will be dumbfounded.’
‘Impossible,’ Cassie told her quietly. ‘I know you mean well Miranda, but I faced the truth about myself years ago. I’m plain.’
‘You think you’re plain,’ Miranda corrected her, ‘and you’ve told yourself that you are for so long that you behave as though you are; and even worse, you encourage other people to adopt the same attitude to you. Where’s your spirit Cassie? Don’t you want to give Joel a taste of his own medicine?’
Doubtfully Cassie stared at her. Was Miranda just using her to get at Joel. One glance into the warm, kind face of the other woman assured her. No, Miranda wasn’t like that.
‘Trust me, Cassie,’ she said softly, ‘and have faith, both in yourself and me. Tell yourself that you are beautiful, and I promise you you will be. Real beauty comes from the inside anyway, as all women know, but men being the weak creatures that they are are always dazzled by outward allure rather than inner beauty, you already have the latter, and it will be my task, and my pleasure to give you the former.’
* * *
‘NICO, look who I have brought back with me.’
They were through Italian customs and being escorted to a waiting car by a tall, distinguished-looking Italian, who at first had made Cassie feel a little nervous. It was all very well for Miranda to say that her husband would be delighted to see her, but Cassie was wondering if that were true?
One look from the smiling dark brown eyes turned in her direction assured her. They twinkled warmly; their warmth spiced by appreciative male interest.
‘So this is Joel’s bride? He has at last forgiven you then has he cara, that he allows you to bring her back with you?’
‘I’m afraid not.’ As Miranda made the admission Cassie was aware of the deep bond of sympathy flowing from Nico to his wife. ‘If anything Joel has become even more firmly entrenched in his own hostile world. I have Cassie’s permission to tell you about their marriage, which I shall do just as soon as we have had something to eat.’
This was something she and Cassie had discussed on the ‘plane and Cassie had willingly given her agreement to her suggestion that she told Nico the true circumstances of their marriage.
‘Cassie, ably assisted by my son, has succeeded in persuading herself that she is a dull pebble of no account, while I perceive within her a diamond only in need of some skilled polishing.’
Cassie flushed a little under Nico’s kind scrutiny, wondering if he actually believed what his wife was saying, or if he merely thought she was being kind, as Cassie did herself. But what if Miranda was right…what if…but no, it was pointless to speculate, to imagine Joel looking at her with anything other than cold disdain. Hadn’t she always despised women who valued themselves purely on their looks and yet here she was longing to believe that Miranda was right when she said she could be beautiful.
Sighing faintly Cassie directed her attention away from herself and towards her surroundings. Florence was a beautiful city, basking now in the late May sunshine.
The Fontinis owned a villa outside the town, surrounded by pleasant secluded gardens. The villa was old and elegant, the furniture in the large reception hallway obviously antique.
‘You look tired,’ Miranda sympathised as she looked at Cassie’s wan face. ‘I telephoned Maria to prepare a room for you. I’ll show you up to it, so that you can rest. Tomorrow we start to go to work on polishing the diamond Cassie, so make sure you get plenty of rest this afternoon.’
Behind them Nico laughed. ‘Ah I must warn you Cassie that my wife is indefatigable when she sets her mind to a particular course.’
They were still deeply in love, anyone could see that, and yet Cassie knew instinctively that for Miranda her happiness was overshadowed by Andrew’s death and Joel’s hostility.
The room Miranda showed her to was large, with a high ceiling, and beautiful carved antique furniture A large rug in soft pinks and greens covered the floor, the curtains and bedspread picking out the same faded pink.
There was a bathroom off the bedroom with marble fitments and walls. More grand than Howard Court, the villa still had an air of being lived in and loved.
Nico, Cassie had learned owned and ran a factory producing tractors and other farming equipment. ‘Once his family considered themselves too noble to concern themselves with trade, but now if it weren’t for the profits from the factory, the villa and its contents would have to be sold. Nico has a son from his first marriage. You will like Bernardo. At present he is away on business, but he will return at the end of the week.’
Cassie hadn’t realised that Miranda had a stepson; and indeed that Nico possessed a large family of sisters and cousins, all of whom would be very eager to meet her, Miranda assured her. ‘Don’t look so worried,’ she laughed when she saw the frown pucker Cassie’s face. ‘I will not allow them to eat you and you will see none of them until we have worked a little magic.’
Quite what magic Miranda had in mind Cassie did not know, but strangely as she did her bidding and lay down on her vast bed for a rest she found herself quite content to leave everything in Miranda’s hands. It must be the Italian air, she decided drowsily because suddenly all things seemed possible, even her own transformation.
Her last thoughts before sleep claimed her were of Joel. What was he doing now? Had he gone back to London; to the woman with the sultry voice? Curling herself into a tight ball, Cassie refused to make herself miserable thinking about him. ‘I am beautiful,’ she muttered fiercely to herself as her eyes closed. ‘I am beautiful…I am…’
CHAPTER SEVEN
‘FIRST things first,’ Miranda announced over breakfast the following morning. Nico had already left for his office and so the two women had the breakfast room to themselves. ‘A woman who considers herself beautiful moves with a certain confidence; not arrogance, but a confirmation of her own self-worth. I have enrolled you, Cassie, at a small private school in Florence, where the daughters of families such as Nico’s spend a few weeks after leaving school.’
‘A sort of finishing course?’ Cassie murmured, visions of herself being forced to endure the curious looks of a roomful of pretty teenagers making her shrink almost physically.
‘A cross between that and what in B
ritain would be called a “grooming course”,’ Miranda agreed, ‘but you need have no fears or qualms, I have arranged for you to have your tuition privately. Madame Bonare will come here to the villa each morning to teach you. In her day she was a famous ballerina, and even at seventy years of age, she is still one of the most elegant women I have ever seen. She will teach you to see your body as it really is, to assess its potential and its drawbacks, and how to promote the former above the latter.’
Cassie felt quite overwhelmed.
‘It is fortunate that you are so slender,’ Miranda commented, ‘that gives you an immediate advantage when it comes to wearing clothes.’ She grimaced faintly as she studied the fawn skirt and blouse Cassie was wearing. ‘At the moment you look as though you wish to fade into the wallpaper. Beige is not a colour you should wear with your skin Cassie…and we must do something about your hair…I will speak to Carlo… Oh, I am going to enjoy having you staying here,’ she added smiling at Cassie.
* * *
MADAME BONARE arrived an hour later. Feeling very self-conscious in the leotard Miranda had lent her, Cassie smiled hesitantly as the introductions were performed. Once she had exchanged pleasantries with her guest Miranda left Cassie alone with her in the half-empty long gallery that ran the length of the villa.
‘So…’ Madame murmured, studying Cassie closely, ‘Miranda is right. Everything is there, but you are not making the most of it are you?’
To receive such a pronouncement startled Cassie who had been expecting the elegant, almost formidable older woman to declare that there was simply nothing she could do with such poor raw material.
‘You must not slouch so…’ she told Cassie, placing her hands on Cassie’s shoulders and forcing them back. ‘You have good bones,’ she continued, ‘both in the face and in the body. You are slim, which is good, but you do not carry yourself well. And why do you hunch your chest so?’
Unhappily Cassie explained her dislike of her to her own mind too generously rounded breasts.