by Sarah Noffke
“Not to mention that I’d get the attention Gran desired.” Azure indicated the crowd gathered around the carriage. Most stayed back and watched the dragons, who didn’t appear to care about the gawking stares. A boy approached the dragon in the front and put out a hand.
Oak’s eyes still rested easily on Azure as he said, “If you want to retain your hand, I suggest you keep it away from the Baltic Long-tooths.”
The boy popped his hand back to his chest before disappearing into the thicket of people.
Azure smiled. “Oak, I would be honored if you would transport my friends and me to dinner tonight. I’m interested in exploring the city.”
Oak replaced the hat on his head and nodded. “Oh, the lady has decided that traveling by dragon suits her, maybe? Mademoiselle, I will be here to pick you up in two hours. That’s enough time to allow the dragons to rest, and your friends will be here by then. I passed them on the road.”
“Thank you. But… How were you able to travel so quickly?” Azure asked.
Oak tipped his hat and gathered the reins, flicking them once to bring the dragons to attention. “Oh, that is a superb question and one I will show you the answer to firsthand tonight.” He flicked the reins again and the dragons lurched forward, placing their clawed feet with great precision. The beasts didn’t move quickly, but rather with a practiced deliberation. Each step was telegraphed by their large hips. Behind them their spike-covered tails flicked back and forth, and their wings lay flat against their bodies.
Azure turned to Ever as the carriage drove toward the stable.
He gave her a reassuring smile, one of the many he’d offered her that day. “You’re not in Kansas anymore.”
“Kan-what?”
He waved her question off before pointing down the road again. “Speaking of the heartless Tinman, look who has arrived in last place!”
“When were we speaking about a tinman?” Azure asked, thoroughly confused.
Ever’s face lit up and he held up his hand in greeting. Only then did the figures of the horses and riders come into view. Monet sat tall, Laurel riding beside him. In front of them a large black dog ran, barking at the staring crowd. People looked more confused to see the werecat and a wizard with green hair than dragons pulling a carriage.
“Damn! We’re a bunch of freaks, aren’t we?” Azure said, elbowing Ever in the side.
He smiled warmly at her. “I’m afraid you’re right. And just think—you’ve already added to your entourage.”
“Oh, fuck. Just imagine the pestering I’ll get when Monet finds out I have a genie in my pocket.”
“Maybe he won’t for a bit,” Ever said, waving as the horses came to a halt. A stableboy had already joined them, hand extended to Monet as he dismounted from his steed.
“How on fucking Oriceran did you spitwads beat me?” Monet asked.
“I think you mean ‘us,’” Laurel corrected. She had joined him on the ground, her legs a bit wobbly.
“I meant me. I’m the one who made the deal with the centaurs to take these assholes out.” Monet stood with his hands on his hips, steaming with fury.
“You? You’re the one who had the centaurs fire arrows at us?” Azure asked, her voice rising.
“Think we ought to go inside, guys,” Ever said, steering Azure in the direction of the citadel with her fuming eyes pinned on Monet.
~~~
The crowd watched as the foreigners disappeared into the guarded citadel.
The ancient building was protected by the pharaohs themselves, as well as many spells, which was what made it so difficult for Nenet to get any closer. In the shadows of a crooked alley the girl stood, peering at the Queen of Virgo as she disappeared. Soon night would approach and the streets wouldn’t be safe, but she needed to risk going after the queen then, when Azure went out again. The spying spell had done its job, and Nenet knew the queen planned to leave the citadel that evening to explore the city. That was when she’d find the queen and get what she wanted.
~~~
“You’re a fucking fuck!” Azure roared, throwing off her robes. The living area of the suite was large, with many cushions on the Arabian rugs and stiff couches lining the walls. Her things had already been brought up and arranged in her room, thanks to Oak.
“Did you get shot?” Monet asked, lying back on the couch and propping his feet up.
“That’s not the point. I could very well have. Or Ever. Or Finswick.”
Monet peered around as if trying to find the feline, and then returned his attention to picking at his nails. “You weren’t going to get shot. Don’t be dramatic. There’s no one more skilled with arrows than the centaurs. They think they are the arrow itself when in flight.”
“Don’t rely on the accuracy of the species you had attack me,” Azure said, striding back and forth. She had a great deal of nervous energy pounding out of her chest now that they’d reached New Egypt. It was like there was a liveliness in the city that had infected her.
“I simply made a deal with them that they’d stall you in return for—” Monet bolted to an upright position. “I almost forgot. My centaur vodka…has anyone seen it?”
Ever, who was casually propped against the wall, inclined his head to the entryway of the suite. “There were a few boxes by the door when we came in. Might be what you’re looking for.”
Monet sped out of the room, a thirsty look in his eyes.
Laurel, who had been quiet, knelt and plucked something from the floor where Azure had tossed her robe. “Queen, what is this? It fell from your garment.” She held up the lamp, which sparkled in the firelit room.
Azure’s eyes widened and she shook her head adamantly, gaze flicking to the entryway where Monet had gone. Azure waved her hands at Laurel, but the werecat simply stared at her in confusion.
“What? You want me to set it down?” Laurel laid the lamp on a stone table, backing away from it like it was full of poison.
Azure pulled her wand from her braided, blue hair. She flicked it at the lamp, and it sped through the air to her hands. She spun around just as Monet ambled into the room, looking a bit more cheerful. His expression sharpened when he looked at Azure.
“What do you have there?” he asked, swinging a brown bottle in his hand.
“Nothing. Just female stuff. Has to do with monthly cycles and hormones, you know,” Azure said, trying to find a place to hide the lamp on her body. There wasn’t one.
“If you need a potion to make you less bitchy… Well, that’s impossible as of now. I’m working on it though, believe me. That’s first priority,” Monet said, striding to Azure, who had pressed herself flat to the stone wall in front of her.
“Dear Azure, I came over to apologize and offer you a drink,” Monet said, extending the bottle to her with a befuddled look on his face. “Is there a reason you’re making out with that wall?”
“I’m just tired, that’s all,” Azure growled.
Monet peered to the side, a curious paranoia taking over his expression. “Oh, is that right?” He pulled his wand from his robe and swiftly pointed at the queen. The lamp sprang from her hands and soared to Monet, who caught it. He eyed the silver object inquisitively.
“What do we have here?” Monet asked, although Azure was sure he already knew.
“It’s how I get my period every month. A girly thing. You’re pretty much touching my uterus right now,” Azure said.
Ever snickered on the far side of the room, entertained by the exchange.
“Oh, is this your uterus?” Monet casually swung the lamp around on one finger by the handle. “I always envisioned that there were bolts and strange mechanics in it.”
Azure lunged forward and grabbed the lamp from his grasp. “Yeah, well, you wouldn’t understand.”
Monet squinted at the lamp, blinking. “Is there a face looking out of that lamp?”
Azure flicked her eyes to the lamp in her hand, and to her horror Bob was peering out of the spout. He popped back down, but
his face then pressed into the belly of the lamp as he gazed around the room.
“Oh, fuck! Well, I guess the secret is out now.” She set the lamp on the table again. “This isn’t really my uterus,” Azure said to Monet.
“No shit, Queen Dumbass,” Monet said, hands on his hips.
“I’m going to fucking regret this for the rest of my life. Bob, come on out,” Azure said, her voice full of frustration.
Gray smoke streamed from the spout and circled in the air.
Laurel backed up to the wall, looking to Ever for information. He nodded, his eyes dancing with amusement.
The smoke cleared and the genie floated in the air, just as before. “My master, you have summoned me. Do you have a wish for me to fulfill?”
Monet burst out laughing before taking a swig from the bottle. “Fuck yeah! We have a genie!”
“No,” Azure cut him off. “I have a genie. He’s not here to do your bidding.”
“You’re such a Debbie Downer,” Monet said, striding in a circle around the genie.
“How do you think Debbie feels about her name being used like that?” Azure plucked the bottle from Monet’s hand and took a drink. Centaur vodka was unlike anything she’d ever tasted. It was smooth and hot, and made her instantly drunk.
“Three wishes. How shall we use them?” Monet combed his fingers down his chin as if he hadn’t heard her.
“Two wishes, actually. Master used one to escape centaurs,” Bob informed Monet.
He turned sharply to Azure, fury on his face. “You used a wish for that?”
“I thought we were being pursued,” Azure said. She sat on a pile of pillows, suddenly relaxed.
“For fuck’s sake, you really overreacted,” Monet said.
“No fucking kidding.” Azure held a hand out to the genie, who looked amused. “Bob, please meet Monet, Laurel, and Manx.” She glanced at the group. Manx was sitting in bunny form on the rug, and hopped over to Azure to curl up in her lap. “Group, this is Bob.”
“Wait, your genie is named Bob?” Monet asked, shaking his head.
“Yes. Take it up with Finswick. He’s confused too.” Azure ran her hand over Manx’ soft fur, feeling as though she might fall asleep at any moment because of the liquor.
“How about Zainab, Orr, Ringo, Usi, or Jim? Those are all better genie names,” Monet offered.
“For once I agree with Monet,” Laurel said. “’Bob’ doesn’t really suit you. I like Muhtal.”
“My name will remain ‘Bob.’ I’ve carried that name for…well, I don’t remember how long.” Bob raised a finger decisively. “I do know that I was given that name by…well, the details are fuzzy, but it’s important. I remember that much.”
“Azure…” Monet said, drawing out her name.
“Yeah, I already know. I have a ‘special’ genie. Surprise, surprise. I think he’s related to Blisters,” she said, leaning back on the pillows. The heat of the room had started to put her to sleep.
“Bob, you should know that I pretty much speak for Azure, so a wish from me is a wish from her,” Monet said, his voice soft. It barely registered in Azure’s mind as her thoughts went to Dreamland.
“Don’t listen to him, Bob,” Azure muttered mostly to herself, and was swept away by drunken sleep.
CHAPTER EIGHT
The red ruffles on the long dress scratched Azure’s skin, but she tried to get past the irritation. Gran wanted her to make a lasting impression on this tour, and she’d try her best. Why wouldn’t people be impressed with her if she wore jeans and a T-shirt instead of a big gaudy ball gown? Shouldn’t they be more concerned about her public policy and foreign exchange ideas than her hairstyle?
Staring at her reflection in the wide floor-to-ceiling mirror in her room, she frowned. She had never learned how to do more with her long blue hair than throw it up in a ponytail, but luckily for her she knew magic. Pointing her wand at her head, she muttered an incantation and her hair rose as if suspended by strings. The different strands wove back and forth until a wide intricate braid lay down her bare back. Azure turned, eying her magic’s handiwork with a look of pride.
“Not bad,” she remarked to herself.
“I’ll say,” a voice agreed from the top of her armoire.
Azure spun around, offended. “Manx, have you been there the whole time? While I was dressing?”
“Yes, but there wasn’t much to see. Have you thought about going on an all-potato diet? That’s the way to put beauty on your bones,” the raven remarked.
“I have half a mind to curse you, you peeping fairy.”
Manx dove toward her, flapping his wings a few times before landing on Azure’s shoulder. He was a large raven, but not too big to fit comfortably. “You’re missing something, methinks?”
“The fortitude to tell you to fuck off for invading my privacy yet again?” Azure asked.
“I was actually thinking a piece of jewelry. Maybe a necklace?”
Azure spun to face her image in the mirror. The red gown rippled to the ground like frosting on a cake. The bodice was tight and the dress had no straps or sleeves, leaving Azure’s neck, shoulders, and collar bones exposed. She let out a mournful sigh. “Yeah, well, I have no soul stone, so unless you’ve bought me something I’m at a loss.”
“I haven’t, but I’ll make it my mission to steal you some jewelry tonight. Something large and expensive, and maybe cursed,” Manx said, affectionately pecking her on the ear.
“On second thought, no thanks. I don’t want to be run out of New Egypt because my pooka stole jewelry on my behalf.”
“Have it your own way, then. We’ll have to get kicked out of this kingdom for other reasons,” Manx said, steadying himself on Azure’s bare shoulder as she made her way out the chamber. She grimaced from his claws pinching into her skin. She’d tried to discourage this perching-business, but Manx couldn’t be trained, it seemed.
“The scary thing is that I completely believe you.”
She was unsurprised to find Ever diligently waiting for her when she exited her room. Somehow she had known he’d be there, as he usually was on occasions like this. What Azure hadn’t expected was to find him dressed in a fitted black suit. His undershirt didn’t have a collar so it was very much like a tunic, which was typical of Light Elf dress clothing. He also didn’t wear a tie, but the sapphire cufflinks gave his suit a different kind of sophistication.
For a moment he didn’t say a word, just stared at her like he’d forgotten what to say, but then his mouth gradually opened. “Queen Azure, of all the things I’ve seen on Oriceran, you might very well be the most stunning.”
Now it was her turn to be speechless. She smiled shyly, then glanced at Laurel, who was shaking the lamp over the sofa behind Ever. She’d changed into a light blue toga, and was looking frustrated as she peered into the spout of the lamp.
“Laurel, are you having a problem?” Azure asked, gazing past Ever.
“No, not really, but maybe you can settle my suspicions. I’ve tried to get Bob out of here with no luck. Will you try?” Laurel asked.
“Bob, will you please—” Before Azure was even done speaking gray smoke poured from the lamp, followed by his long face.
“You called, master?” he asked.
“That’s what I thought,” Laurel said, tossing the lamp on the couch. “He only abides your requests, which I think is for the best. Monet won’t be able to use him for evil.”
“Laurel, you’re always looking out for me, aren’t you?” Azure said perceptively to the werecat.
Feeling surer of herself now after the tense moment, Azure looked at Ever, who still hadn’t moved. He offered his arm with a warm smile. “Shall we go?”
Azure nodded, taking a step forward. A loud pop made her jump backwards, though, and something appeared. Azure reached for her wand, but then noticed that Monet stood where there had only been empty space before. He had his hands proudly pinned to his hips and a wide smile on his face.
�
�Why yes, I’m here and ready to go,” he said.
“Monet,” Azure said, staring around. “Where did you come from?”
“I appeared. It’s a new spell I’ve worked out, although the loud crack wasn’t intentional. I’ll have to work on that.”
“You figured out that spell? That’s incredible!” Azure exclaimed, impressed.
“Well, I have a lot of time on my hands, since I’m only running the Potions Shop and managing Chief-of-Staff duties.” Monet brushed lint off his robes.
Azure looked at him like he was insane. “I seriously don’t get you sometimes.”
“Why, yes, I’ll allow you to accompany me to the carriage, Queeny.” Monet extended his arm to her. She eyed Ever, who stood just behind him, and then smiled meekly, stepping forward and taking her best friend’s offered arm. She was a little confused by Ever’s new attentiveness, so she was grateful that Monet had shown up when he had.
The carriage awaited the group when they exited the citadel. Oak stood nobly beside the splendid vehicle, and pulled his pointy hat off his head and sank into a low bow when they reached him. He coughed and the dragons knelt on one knee, looking reluctant.
“Did he just…” Monet asked out of the corner of his mouth.
“I think so?”
If Gran’s objective had been to get attention, the carriage achieved that. Everyone on the streets had frozen when the dragons bowed in respect. At night the cobbled roads looked different, with the firelight of the street lamps gilding them. The faces of the residents appeared warm as they stared in awe.
Azure broke the trance and stepped forward, waving to the crowd of people, who gave her a round of applause. Children rose to their tiptoes to get a look at the queen of Virgo. Many pushed through the crowd to stare at her dress, which matched the carriage. Azure didn’t know how long she should wave. Should she greet them all, or was it better to save such things?
Her stomach growled angrily, and she decided that its vote trumped all.
Oak straightened and placed his hat on his head. When he opened the carriage door, he had a strange expression on his face. “Evening, Queen Azure. I’m delighted that you’ve decided to allow me the honor of conveying you by carriage tonight. I promise it will be better than traveling on flea-ridden horses alongside uncouth animals.”