This would be their first date, and her grandmother would be there .
“We insist,” Sarina said, “it’ll be a real family night. You can bring…someone else…if you like.” Sarina knew the risk of saying it. But she had to know what kind of situation she was getting into, or if she’d be getting into it at all .
But Ty said, “There’s nobody else,” and needed to say nothing more .
Sarina tried to maintain her nonplussed tone. “Is there any food in particular your daughter likes ?”
“Just about anything,” Ty said. “Don’t go to any trouble .”
“Oh no, of course not. See you Saturday.” Sarina’s mind began to race: What am I gonna do with a little girl in the house? Do I buy hotdogs? Barbie Dolls? A ‘ Frozen’ DVD? What do I do with her; what do I say ?
What about Gram ?
Chapter Five
Sarina
S arina pushed the shopping cart down the produce aisle, that innocuous pop music playing softly in the background unable to interrupt Sarina’s frantic inner-voice. Gotta serve a salad, of course. That guy didn’t get his build eating Cheerio’s! And I don’t want him to think I wouldn’t be a good, um, hostess. But kids hate salads, don’t they? How do you dress a salad up for an eight-year-old girl? Does Disney make a salad dressing? Sarina looked for something colorful, considering a salad with tangerines and apple slices. That’s a thing, isn’t it ?
Sarina’s eyes combed the aisles, mind wandering, barely mindful enough to keep from banging her cart into the other shoppers’. Sarina couldn’t help but imagine herself cooking dinner for Ty and his daughter, and her grandmother, everyone smiling and happy, Billie sitting with a proud and satisfied smile. They’d all live together, and Ty and his child would welcome Billie as much as Sarina, maybe even more .
Then other children faded into the scene: happy, playful boys whose features resembled both Ty and Sarina, innocently earning their father’s quiet consternation .
Then Sarina’s inner self, her naturally skeptical and protective side, stepped up to the back of her mind, where she seemed to spending more and more time. Don’t do that, Sarina cautioned herself. Don’t get carried away with all this. He did a good deed and now he’s enjoying a little human contact outside the fire station, that’s all it is .
But questions filled the gap in Sarina’s brain. He said there’s no one else, but he’s also got a little girl. But these days, that could mean any number of things: divorced, widowed, maybe she’s serving twenty-five to life for a horrible crime. Either way, that poor girl’s being raised without a mother, and that’s not right .
I know .
Sarina tried not to let her imagination wander there. The thoughts came back too often: the lingering emotion and the emotional longing, thrust into adulthood at seventeen years old—the head of a small, sad household .
Maybe I shouldn’t even be entertaining such things, impressing this man and his child. Is that what I really want, to be a ready-made wife and mother? Maybe Gram is right and I should just get out there and have a good time. I’ve worked hard; I deserve it .
But Sarina couldn’t convince herself of that. No, she had to correct herself, I deserve a lot better than that. And I tried to find a good guy to date. But they only wanted one thing before running for the hills. If that’s all any of them have to offer, hands of lightning and a heart of stone, they can keep it. But here’s a man, this Ty King, who doesn’t seem to flinch at my responsibility to my own family, unlike every other man I’ve ever met. Not to mention his other…attributes. And those are some attributes! That gorgeous face, blond hair and blue eyes, like a Nordic god. And his body, those arms, the way he beat those guys up, sent the other one running for his life. Yet he seems so gentle, so pleasing to touch, to know, to love… No, I’m not going to let myself be afraid, and I’m not going to let this pass me by .
“Sarina?” Sarina looked over to see a familiar young man standing in front of her, brown eyes and red hair framing his pale skin. “Sarina, how ya doin ’?”
“Steven Horn, isn’t this a pleasant surprise ?”
“I hope it is…pleasant, I mean. I, um, I guess I never wound up calling you, after that night at the movies .”
“No,” Sarina said, “I guess you didn’t. How are you, Steven ?”
“It’s Ven, remember? And I’m doin’ all right. How about you?” He looked her up and down and finally landed on her pretty face. “You look…great, y’know…sunny , kinda.” Sarina knew why, but she didn’t feel like explaining. He added, “How’s your grandpa ?”
“My grandmother,” Sarina corrected him politely, if with distinct lack of warmth. “She’s fine, thank you. How’s the dentistry ?”
“Optometrist, remember?” She did, and she hoped her tiny smile told him so. “Got my eyes on you,” he added, a well-rehearsed line, Sarina fighting the urge to roll her eyes .
“Well, it was nice chatting, but I should be going .”
“Sure, Sarina, sure.” She rolled her cart forward to leave Ven behind, but he said, “Say, Sarina, I, um I just wanted you to know that, y’know, I lost your number, that’s why I didn’t call back. And you never called my smartphone, so I didn’t have it in my log.” Sarina smiled and nodded, knowing that he was lying and not bothering to acknowledge it. After a lingering pause, Ven went on, “But now that we’re here, I gotta say, I’ve been thinkin’ about you.” He looked her up and down again with a futile attempt at subtlety. “A lot. So if you, y’know, you still wanna go out — ”
“No thanks, Ven. Nice seeing you .”
Sarina moved forward, but Ven put a hand on her cart to stop her. “Look, I can tell that you’re upset with me. I get that, I really do. I just want a chance to…to make it up to you.” He wore an extra-sexy little smile when he added that last, well-rehearsed and oft-used phrase .
“That’s very sweet,” Sarina said, “but we’re good. Thanks though .”
She tried to move forward, eyeing Ven with a quiet determination, a stonewall pleasantness that could hardly be challenged. “Of course,” Ven said with an embarrassed smile, “didn’t mean to keep you up. Nice seeing you again .”
“You too, Ven,” Sarina said, rolling her cart down the aisle, aware of his lustful eyes locked on her ass as she disappeared among the other shoppers .
Chapter Six
Sarina
S arina decided on delicious T-bone steaks, knowing instinctively that it would appeal to Ty, perhaps even arouse his primitive instincts. She coupled it with mashed potatoes, which she remembered loving as a kid, served with buttered peas, a crisp salad along with slices of fresh watermelon, honeydew, hard purple grapes that cracked and burst juicy in her mouth. She served the red wine Ty had brought, the dinner table lit by candlelight .
Little Jesse King sat, quietly eating her food, looking up at the strange adults at the table around her. Sarina asked her, “Is your steak okay, Jesse?” She nodded, but said nothing .
Ty said, “Jesse ?”
Jesse looked down sullenly and muttered, “Yes, thank you .”
Ty looked back at Sarina and Billie. “I don’t know what to say. She’s usually just bouncing off the walls .”
“New places, new faces,” Billie said cheerfully, leaning toward the young girl sitting on the other side of the table. “I know just how you feel,” she added with a wink, earning a smile not only from Jesse but from Sarina and Ty as well .
Ty said, “We’re both so grateful for your invitation. We don’t often get to enjoy such a warm, family dinner with food this delicious .”
Sarina hoped she wasn’t blushing .
Billie asked him, “You spend half the week in the fire station, is that right, dear?” He nodded, chewing a piece of his steak. “May I ask…who looks after young Jesse here?” She turned to Jesse. “Sorry to speak of you in the third person, dear .”
Jesse shrugged, obviously having no clue as to what Billie said and even more clearly not taking any offense
to it. Instead, the girl seemed to be eating her dinner with a bit more vigor, her vague depression slowly slipping away .
Ty said, “Our neighbor stays with her. He’s a lovely person, really—Mr. Richards—used to have a big family but they moved down to Oregon. They don’t call him much anymore .”
“How sad,” Billie said .
“It really is,” Ty agreed, eyes drifting off. “Imagine having family, loved ones, so close to you, so…so available, so ready to be there and love you, love your family, yet you just…you just decide you don’t want it. Either they’re not good enough for you, or you’re too good for them, or it’s just…just not what you wanted or expected. Can you imagine a person treating their own family that way ?”
Billie nodded. “I’m afraid it happens all the time, dear. But it is shameful, it really is .”
“You’re right, Mrs. Dunne,” Ty said, “you couldn’t be more right.” Ty glanced at Sarina, then back at old Billie. “But you two, you’re a real family. You’ve got loyalty to one another; you’re not afraid to stand up, do what’s right .”
Quite out of nowhere, Jesse asked Sarina, “How come you don’t have a boyfriend ?”
Sarina caught off guard, stammered over the answer, Billie chuckling and Ty glaring at his daughter. “That was very rude, Jesse. Apologize to Sarina, right now .”
The laughter died away and Jesse cast her eyes down at her plate. “I’m sorry .”
“It’s okay, Jesse,” Sarina said with deliberate lightness in her voice. “It’s a fair question. I don’t have one because, unlike your dad, a lot of men are afraid to stand up, do what’s right .”
Ty and Sarina shared a glance, both knowing…and sharing…what the other was thinking .
Dinner carried on with a gentle warmness, everybody polite and sweetly courteous. But Sarina couldn’t help but notice the mischievous glint in Billie’s eyes, a little smile creeping over her wrinkled face .
So when Billie quietly made her way to the piano in the adjoining living room after dinner, Sarina knew what was coming. She knew she’d be a little embarrassed by it, but that was better than embarrassing Billie by preventing her from letting those aging, spotted fingers dance along those ivories, scales of notes ringing out and grabbing Ty and Jesse’s attention .
Billie looked over from the piano as the music hung in the air, paused ready and waiting .
Billie sang, “Oooooooh,” then she played a bouncy rhythm on a single chord, singing, “why does Grandma smell the way she does? Mamma doesn’t know, and Daddy says, ‘Well, just because — ”
Jesse shrieked with laughter .
Billie sang over the changing, familiar chord progression, “She smells like mayonnaise that has seen its better days, oh why does Grandma smell the way she does?” The chords abandoned their tempo and drifted, the song floating to a languid pause. “She smells like something somebody had found out in a ditch, sometimes she smells just like a day-old mustard sandwich…” Jesse cracked up, mouth open in a wide smile, lips stretched over her little teeth. Billie sang on, “Like a boot or a boat, but I’m not sure whiiiiiiiiiich ! ”
The chord progression picked up again, chords rolling one into the other to the jaunty rhythm. “Maybe its the peaches that she eats or just the fuzz, maybe it’s her beard of bees and their terrible buzz, not sure why or how but I am certain that it waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasssss ! ”
The music stopped again as Billie looked directly at Jesse, eyes and smile wide to end the refrain. “I only know that Graaaaaaaaaand-maaaaaaaaaa smmmeeeeeeeellllllllsssss ….the way she doooooooeeeeesssss ! ”
Billie played the last few chords and brought the tune to an old-fashioned ending, finding the tonic chord and holding it at the very end as Jesse and Ty and Sarina eagerly applauded. Billie tapped out the last beat and turned, standing from the piano bench and offering a broad bow, a curtsie, then another bow. She wasn’t just smiling, she was beaming, and that made Sarina want to applaud all the more .
Ty and Jesse shared a smile while they clapped on, Sarina enjoying their satisfaction in the moment even more than their own .
* * *
T y and Jesse stayed for a fun and fanciful game of charades before a warm but cordial farewell. Sarina tried to ignore Billie’s little glances while they cleaned up, that knowing half-smile that said, I told you so, in every way at every turn. But Sarina could hardly be mad at her grandmother, for so many reasons. But the real reason wasn’t that Billie had been charming and amazing and had broken the ice where Sarina herself could not. It wasn’t that Sarina was once again reminded of how lucky she was, and how grateful she was, to have family like her and that she’d treasure her to the very end, no matter whose end that was. The real reason Sarina couldn’t be mad at Billie was that, as far as the chemistry between her and Ty, Billie had been absolutely right .
But that didn’t come without a certain lingering doubt. Laying in bed that night, Sarina’s mind kept rolling it over. What if he doesn’t call back? Should I call him? What’s the rule—two days? No, he should call me .
He will, I know he will .
But what if he doesn’t ?
Sarina lay there, a sudden breeze pushing through the open window, bringing a chill in off The Sound .
If he doesn’t, he doesn’t. There are other guys out there .
No there aren’t, she had to silently contradict herself, not like this one. There won’t be a better man than this for me or Gram, not ever. Sarina exhaled deeply, deliberately soothing the endless chattering in her head and drifted off to into a deep sleep .
T he next day, Sarina fixed breakfast for herself and Billie: fluffy scrambled eggs and buttered sourdough toast and the rest of the fruit from the night before, coffee hot and robust and filling the house with that woody fragrance .
She sat at her laptop, notions for a new book elusive, mind drawing back again and again to Ty—his magnetic presence, his radiant blue eyes. When the landline rang, it sent that familiar shiver through her, one she wished she could overcome. Does every outreach have to come with a shock ?
“Hello?”
“Sarina, it’s Ty.” His voice was deep and smooth, soothing to her ears .
“Ty, hello. Nice to hear from you .”
“I’m sorry I didn’t have a chance to call earlier. Jesse and I both wanted to thank you and Billie for a wonderful evening. We both had a great time .”
Sarina smiled, feeling somehow that it was carrying over into the conversation. “That’s so sweet, Ty. It was our pleasure to have you. And you’re both welcome back anytime .”
“That’s…that’s good to hear; I’m glad. Because the reason I’m calling, Sarina, is that, well, I thought you might like to have dinner with me again tonight .”
“Tonight?” she asked, feeling her heart beating in her throat .
“Yes, just the two of us. I’ll pick you up at seven .”
“Oh, well, um, yeah, yes, sure, that sounds…okay .”
“Seven o’clock then ?”
“Okay,” Sarina managed to say, suddenly confused in her own home. “I’ll…I’ll see you then.” She put down the phone and put her hands over her smile, unable to contain it. But it didn’t last, as her mind shot to the most desperate concerns which can sometimes plague a young woman’s life, especially in her most joyous moments .
Oh my God…what am I going to wear ?
Chapter Seven
Sarina
B ap bap bap. The knocks fell on the door with certainty and confidence. Sarina’s heart skipped a beat, and she took a deep breath .
Sarina opened the door to see him standing on the other side which seemed to suck the air out of the room and out of her lungs. Ty stood tall and broad and proud, a gentle smile on his gorgeous face. Ty’s eyes graced her body and face, and she knew that he was impressed but that he had too much class to let that show. She hoped he felt the same way about her .
There was a little small talk before Sarina let Ty escort her to his b
lack Audi sedan. I didn’t know being a firefighter paid so well, Sarina couldn’t help but think. But money was never high on Sarina’s list, and a flashy car was never very tempting to her. I do like a man who travels in style though .
Sarina sat in that car, so much like its owner. It carried her away from the monotony of her life in a way that was both impressive and modest—power that was ample without being immodest. Ty didn’t draw attention to himself; he didn’t need to. A man of his amazing presence and strength, his courage and his compass, this was a man for whom nothing would be denied, and Sarina already knew that she would not deny him either .
Sarina couldn’t help but think, What a man! What will he be like in bed? I know he’ll be commanding, in control, an alpha male all the way. But there’s a certain sensitivity to his soul, a resonance of beauty and pain, the shadow of a cloud of sadness that seems to be hovering over him. Maybe I could be the one to drive that cloud away, let the sunshine of happiness shine on him, and on me .
Sarina glanced at Ty, hand on the gearshift, legs flexing as he pressed down on the accelerator .
But she knew that her own life was traced by a similar shadow—a vague sense of loss and loneliness that nothing could wipe away. That cloud was inside of them, not outside or above. But Sarina looked at Ty and knew that, despite his strength, she was the only one to find that cloud and she could be the one to help him dissolve it, and he could help her with her own creeping sadness: Ty and only Ty .
Sarina turned away, not wanting him to see her devouring him with her eyes. She thought of Ven Horn and the other men she’d dated. None of them are anything like Ty, Sarina concluded. They’re like children compared to a man among men. And what kind of experience will this man show me? All I know is he’s making me feel some kind of way; damn, he’s so incredibly sexy. Maybe he’ll carry me over his shoulders—fireman’s carry—and ravage me !
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