by Julie Rowe
Maybe she’d finally caught the flu.
Her day progressed slowly. Some of her patients asked if she was feeling okay. Willa waved them off with a shrug. By the time she saw her last patient she was exhausted, but her appetite was back, in fact she was ravenous, and the nausea was gone.
She went home and virtually inhaled two ham-and-cheese sandwiches and two glasses of milk. She stared at the contents of her fridge, wondering if she should make a third sandwich, when she glanced at her calendar. It was almost the end of the month and she’d need to get some groceries soon. What she wouldn’t give for some ripe peaches. She could eat a whole bag full.
She looked at the calendar again. It was almost the end of the month and she hadn’t had her period yet.
She closed the fridge and pulled the calendar off the wall, counting backward.
She was nine days late.
“I couldn’t be,” Willa whispered to herself. “It’s not possible.”
Her doctor had assured her several times that the scarring from the physical abuse suffered at the hands of her husband was too extensive. Two other physicians concurred. She’d read the reports herself. Her chances were almost nil that she’d ever conceive.
But almost wasn’t zero.
Willa grabbed her keys and ran back to the clinic. She took a pregnancy test kit and hurried to her apartment, locking the door then sprinting to the bathroom. Three minutes later she stared at the dot of blue on the test well confirming the impossible.
She was pregnant.
A baby.
Willa put one shaking hand protectively over her lower abdomen, barely able to breathe. The doctors had been wrong. She’d conceived a child.
She managed to stumble over to the couch and sit down as tears formed and rolled down her face. She’d thought motherhood forever denied her, but here she was pregnant. A sob escaped her constricted throat and she covered her mouth with one hand. The miracle of it, the absolute wonder made the tears fall faster.
She’d gotten her second chance. If she hadn’t trusted Liam enough to… Oh God, Liam.
He didn’t want children. He’d made that perfectly clear. Fun, no commitments and definitely no babies.
“It’s too late to prevent a baby now. You’re already on your way,” she said to her belly.
Would Liam understand? Would he see this miracle for what it was or would he perceive it as a trap?
That woman had tried to use her child as a bargaining chip, tried to insinuate herself into his life using the baby as her carte blanche. Liam had been hurt so badly. More than even he probably realized.
No. She couldn’t do that to him, couldn’t hurt the father of her child that way. The man she loved. She couldn’t… Loved?
Willa sat up abruptly. She could pretend, she could lie, but nothing could change the truth. She loved Liam. Which only served to make her situation even more hopeless, because he didn’t want her love. He wanted freedom, the opportunity to live his life his way without ties.
That’s just what she’d give him. She’d promised him nothing more or less than that.
A baby was a whole lot more, and not something easy to hide.
He’d figure it out at some point, when she started to show. What was she going to say then?
He was a good man, he deserved to know, but telling him would destroy him and any trust he had in her. She couldn’t stand to see him look at her the way she used to look when she saw herself in the mirror. Injured all the way to her soul. The way she looked before she met him.
What was she going to do?
No bolt of lightning with an answer struck. She needed time to think, time to figure out how to tell Liam he was going to be a father without him hating her when she was done.
She breathed deep. Okay, no need to panic. She was in the very early days of pregnancy. She wouldn’t even start to show for two, maybe three months. She had plenty of time.
Her stomach rolled again.
If only she could keep some food down in the mornings. No one was going to believe she had the flu for only part of the day for the next ten weeks or so.
She raised a shaking hand to her head. She’d get through this; she had to. She had more than herself to worry about now.
Thank God Liam was gone for a couple of days. Hopefully she’d regain her composure and energy by the time he got back.
Maybe she was underestimating him.
Willa went to her computer and searched the internet for news stories about Liam. Perhaps the case with that other woman wasn’t as bad as she assumed. Maybe she was overreacting.
Punching in his name and the words paternity suit brought up several news stories. She read them all, her heart in her throat. The woman had not only accused him of fathering her child, she’d also claimed he refused to support the baby in any way, making him appear completely heartless. She asserted that he even violently threw her out of his house, though Willa could find no report of her seeing a doctor or seeking medical attention for the injuries she claimed to have suffered. The woman also said his father threatened her life.
As much as Willa didn’t like Edward Reynolds, she couldn’t see him making threats of that nature. His predilection would be to embarrass the woman in public, not play Godfather.
She found articles ranging in dates covering several months. No wonder Liam shied away from commitment of any kind. The woman had effectively stalked him, stripping him of his dignity, pride and reputation.
No wonder he’d come to Alaska. And now his nightmare was about to start all over again.
She shut down her computer. There was no way she’d put him through that. No way. She loved him too much. Loved him enough to let him go.
Three days passed with the same morning sickness affecting her eating habits. Elizabeth noticed right away and suggested she take a few days off to recover from the flu. But Willa waved away her objections. Nine months was a long time to wait.
After a quiet morning when the worst medical problem she saw was an ear infection, Willa looked up from signing a chart to see Liam walk in the clinic door with a large paper bag in his hand.
He strode past Elizabeth without looking at her or even acknowledging her hello.
Willa watched him come toward her, her heart in her shoes, as he approached wearing the sexiest grin she’d ever seen.
He stopped in front of her, and despite the fact that the receptionist was watching, he leaned down to say, “Hi, beautiful.”
Then he kissed her. Not ravenously, with the lust that time apart can inspire, but gently with a tenderness that brought tears to her eyes.
He pulled back and wiped one tear from her cheek. “Hey, what’s this?”
Willa sniffed and wiped her face with the backs of her hands. “Nothing.” She tried to smile but knew it was a poor effort. “How was your trip?”
“Great.” He frowned, his eyes examining her face. “Jason said you looked tired and he’s right.”
“She’s been sick for three or four days now,” Elizabeth put in with a shake of her head. “Finally got the flu.”
Liam pinned Willa in place with a stare. “Is that true?”
She shrugged. “Maybe.”
“She won’t take any time off either,” Elizabeth added.
“Willa, that’s not right. You can’t take care of anyone else if you’re sick. Elizabeth, cancel her afternoon appointments.”
“Wait a second,” Willa protested. “You can’t do that.”
“Too late, already done.” He put a hand under her elbow and urged her to her feet. “Come on, I’m taking you home.”
“But—”
“Don’t argue with me.”
“I’ll reschedule your patients,” Elizabeth said. “You didn’t have a full roster today anyway.”
Liam urged her out the door with one hand, his paper bag clutched in the other. He walked her to her apartment and followed her inside.
“Staying awhile?” she asked.
“I want to make sure you get some rest.”
“Liam, I’m quite capable of taking care of myself.”
“Huh-uh. Here, have a seat while I dish out some lunch.”
The thought of food made her stomach flip over. It was still a bit early for her. “Uh, I’m really not hungry.”
“You need something in your belly.”
“But—”
“Sit,” he ordered, pointing at the couch.
The abrupt command hit her hard, driving the air from her lungs, and fear rose up to choke her airway. Willa fought through it and crossed her arms over her chest. “I’m not a dog.”
He raised a brow. “Sorry, but I’m worried about you.” He stepped closer. “You’re as white as a sheet.”
“That doesn’t make it okay for you to order me around.” Tears threatened to overflow and she had to blink them away.
He searched her face, a slight frown pulling his brows down. “You’re right, I stepped out of bounds. I’m sorry.”
Willa stared at him for a moment then slowly sank onto the couch.
Liam held up the bag. “I’ll be right back.”
He disappeared into the kitchen and she rubbed a hand over her belly. It was killing her not telling him, pretending everything was okay.
“Here you go,” he said, coming out of the kitchen a few minutes later with a plate loaded with Chinese food and a cup of tea.
She took them. “I’ll never eat all this.”
“I’ll finish what you don’t eat.”
Her father used to do that for her when she was a child.
A sob welled up and broke through. Willa put down her plate and cup and covered her face with her hands.
Liam grabbed her wrists and pulled her hands from her face. “What’s wrong? Did I make the wrong kind of tea?”
She shook her head. “I can’t do this.”
“Do what?”
“I just can’t.” Willa jerked her hands away from him and covered her face again.
“Willa, what—”
“Please sit down.” She waved at him to sit in the chair opposite her.
“Why?”
“Please.”
“What’s wrong? Are you sick?”
“Sort of…not really…I…” She struggled to find the words. “I’m…pregnant.”
He didn’t speak for several long seconds.
Willa finally lifted her head to look at him.
“What?” he asked, his expression blank.
“I’m pregnant.” She rubbed her eyes again. “I can hardly believe it. Three different doctors told me there was virtually no chance. I had too much scar tissue.”
He said nothing for a long moment. “They were wrong.” His voice sounded odd, divorced of all emotion.
“Yes, they were wrong.” She looked at him. No anger, no rage, no nothing. “Saying I’m sorry seems so inadequate.” She twisted her fingers together. “But I am. Sorry.”
He stared at the floor now, a furrow etched between his eyes.
She sighed. “I understand how you feel.”
His gaze, colder than ice, froze her in place. “Somehow I doubt that.”
She laughed, but it was laced with sorrow and regret. “Oh, I do.” Tears began to slide down her face, hot like heated oil, leaving burn marks on her skin. “You feel betrayed. Used.”
One of his eyebrows rose. It was the only part of his face that moved. “How do you feel?”
She laughed again. “I’m in shock. I keep thinking this is all a dream or a hallucination. I thought my one and only child had been murdered by her father. A child I didn’t even want. But she was mine, and I couldn’t protect her.” She looked at him. “Do you know how it feels to lose someone before you even understand how important they are to you? How much you love them?” She didn’t wait for an answer. “I’m sorry I’ve dragged you into this. I’m sorry for the hurt I’m causing you, but I’m not sorry I’m pregnant.”
He stared at her now with wide eyes and a jaw that sagged open.
“Before you panic, let me be clear. I want nothing from you. Nothing. Not you, your time or your money, now or in the future. I won’t ask you for anything, and I’ll sign legal papers to that effect.”
“You don’t want anything?”
“No.” He seemed surprised more than anything else. The absence of anger helped calm her own emotions. “That was the deal, right? Just fun, no commitments.”
“But things have changed.”
“Yes, but I’ve apologized for it and I stand by my word.”
He continued to stare at her as if he hadn’t understood a word she’d said.
“Thank you for not getting angry.”
“Ah…” He shook his head. “For some reason, ‘you’re welcome’ doesn’t seem like the right response.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I feel like I should be apologizing to you.”
She snorted. “Don’t be ridiculous. You’re the injured party here.”
“You’re the one who’s sick, tired and dizzy.” His lowered brows dared her to defy him.
Rather than feel intimidated she stood and said, “Nothing some extra sleep won’t cure.” She walked to the door and held it open wide. “If you’re not going to get mad and yell, this would be a good time for me to grab some of that extra sleep.”
He got to his feet and moved until he was in front of her. Right in front of her. Crowding her until she’d backed up as far as she could go. “Maybe we should talk about this more. I don’t think it’s fair for you to…I don’t know…deal with the fallout all on your own.”
“Fallout?” Their baby was a miracle, not fallout. Words failed her for a moment and her jaw opened and closed a couple of times before she finally found something reasonable to say. “I’m carrying a baby, not a nuclear bomb.”
He opened his mouth to say something else, but she was suddenly angry. She poked him in the chest with her index finger. “I think it’s time you left.”
He looked down at her finger still touching his chest then back at her, a crooked smile on his face. “You’re right, you’re tired. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
“About work. Not about this.” She pointed at her belly.
“How do you think we’re going to avoid talking about that?” He pointed at her belly too.
“My baby is not a that.”
“So it’s okay for you to call the baby a this, but I can’t call it a that?”
“Get out, Liam.” She shoved him out the door, shut it in his face and turned the deadbolt for good measure.
“We’re definitely talking about this tomorrow,” he yelled.
Willa stared at the closed door then paced away. How dare he tell her what they would talk about? She was the one pregnant.
Pregnant, the one thing guaranteed to send Liam running, yet he hadn’t run.
She stopped pacing.
He hadn’t gotten angry.
She hadn’t been afraid of him.
She plunked herself down on the sofa. What was she going to do?
That she didn’t have an answer for.
Chapter Thirteen
Insistent ringing pulled Willa out of a dream about babies and airplanes.
The ringing continued and she rolled over, her hand searching for the phone. “Hello?”
“Willa Hayes?”
She knew that voice, one of the 9-1-1 dispatche
rs from Emergency Services. A burst of adrenaline had Willa sitting up. “Yes.” She glanced at the clock. 4:00 a.m.
“We just received a call relayed from your area,” the dispatcher said. “There’s a woman in labor in Three Rivers. We don’t have any other details since a kid called it in. The road isn’t dry enough for heavy ground traffic, so you’ll have to get there by plane.”
“Have you called Tundra Air?”
“Yes, they say they’ll have a plane ready to take off in ten minutes.”
“Have them hop over to the clinic airstrip to pick me up.”
“Will do. Safe flight.”
“Thanks.” Willa hung up the phone, jumped into some jeans and a T-shirt, grabbed her coat and sprinted out the door. She wasn’t ready to see Liam again, didn’t know what to say to him, but if she kept her mind on the job, perhaps she’d manage to maintain her composure.
It took only a minute for her to run to the clinic from her apartment. She dashed inside to gather her equipment and supplies.
The drone of an airplane engine had her heart racing and her hands struggling to drag four tackle boxes of supplies out the back door. This far into spring, the sun was already up, outlining the plane as it slowed to a stop several feet away.
She picked up two boxes of her gear and hurried toward the aircraft.
Liam jumped out of the plane, nodding respectfully as he opened the back doors for her.
Her heart did a crazy flip-flop. His just-woke-up messy hair and unshaven face made him look dangerously sexy.
Work. She had to keep her mind on work.
“Is there more?” he hollered over the roar of the engines.
“Yes.”
He ran to get the rest of her stuff.
He returned seconds later with the last of her equipment, stowed it in the back and in moments they were taking off.
“Do you know where we’re going?” Willa asked as soon as she put on her headset. Keep it all business and she’d be fine.
“Yeah, due east about ten miles. There’s a small settlement there.”
“I know it. Three Rivers. But there’s no airstrip.”
“Jason said to land on a gravel road that goes through the village.”