by Sharon Sala
All night she’d struggled with her conscience. Sometime around morning, she had decided that she didn’t want to be thinking of a man. The last time she’d let her guard down with one, she’d wound up with a baby and no husband. That wasn’t happening to her again.
She dressed quietly, hoping to get into the kitchen and start breakfast before Rachel woke up. Considering the weather, she opted for a pair of blue jeans rather than shorts, and tucked her T-shirt into the waistband before giving herself a last look in the mirror. Her hair was neatly braided, her clothes were old but clean. She’d even managed to get an old sandal onto her swollen foot without too much discomfort. But as she exited her bedroom, she kept feeling as if she was leaving something undone. And then Judd walked out of his room and for a startled moment, they were alone in the hallway.
Judd started to speak, when Charlie put a finger to her lips and shushed him before leading him into the kitchen.
“Rachel,” she explained, pointing back down the hall. “She’s a light sleeper.”
He nodded, but his thoughts were on the uneven row of tiny curls already popping out from her neat hairdo and feathering across her forehead.
Charlie reached for the coffeepot and began filling it with water. He was making her nervous.
“Did you sleep well?” she asked.
“Yes.”
The silence between them was noticeable.
“How’s your foot?” Judd finally asked.
She turned, a fake smile on her face. “Better, thanks.”
Now the lull in the conversation was uncomfortable.
Finally, they both turned to speak at once, then laughed uncomfortably.
“You first,” Charlie said.
Judd shook his head. “No, ma’am. Ladies first.”
She set a skillet on the stove, then took a bowl of eggs from the refrigerator.
“Scrambled okay with you?”
He grinned wryly. “It pretty much fits the description of my brain, so I guess that sounds about right.”
Charlie stopped. This wasn’t the first time he’d made light of his exodus from his job. She suspected he wasn’t really as carefree about it as he claimed.
She set the eggs down. “Can I ask you something?”
He shrugged. “Have at it.”
“What happened to you?”
His smile faded. “Hell if I know,” he said, and turned away.
“I’m sorry,” Charlie said. “It’s really none of my business.”
Judd sighed and made himself face her again. “My partner died on the eve of his retirement. He took a bullet meant for me and I can’t get the memory of his wife’s face out of my head.”
“Oh, Judd…”
He grimaced. “That’s exactly what she said when I told her Dan was dead.”
“Being a cop is a dangerous occupation,” she said. “He knew the risks. So did his wife.”
Judd digested her answer. Logically, he knew she was right, but logic and emotions rarely went hand in hand.
“Charlotte?”
Charlie looked up. Rarely did anyone call her by her full name, but hearing the syllables roll softly out of Judd’s mouth gave her shivers.
“Yes?”
“Can I ask you something?”
She hesitated, then managed a smile and nodded. “Sure, why not?”
“Did you love Rachel’s father?”
Her smile twisted bitterly. “Once, when I was still naive enough to believe people meant what they said.”
Judd flinched. He understood her anger, but was surprised by the answering chord he felt within himself. He knew firsthand the pain of abandonment and lies. Impulsively, he touched the side of her face.
“I’m sorry.”
Charlie froze, telling herself to ignore the warmth of his palm against her cheek and the tenderness in his voice.
“You have nothing to apologize for,” she said shortly, and turned away before she made a fool of herself.
Judd sighed. He felt sad, frustrated, even though he understood her unwillingness to compromise. She’d done it once and look what had happened.
And then the sound of little footsteps pattering down the hall broke the mood. Moments later, Rachel came into the kitchen, her blanket bunched under her arm like a sack and her thumb in her mouth. Her curls were in tangles and, once again, she was missing a sock. She was so endearing, he reached down and picked her up. Without thinking, he nuzzled his nose against the side of her neck, inhaling the sweet baby scent, and gave her a soft kiss on the cheek.
“Good morning, punkin. What’s that you have in your mouth?”
Then he teased at her thumb, tugging gently without intending to remove it from her mouth. The unexpected game brought a giggle out of Rachel that warmed Judd’s heart.
Charlie was mesmerized by what she was seeing. The trust her daughter had just given to Judd was surprising, as was the lump in Charlie’s throat. All she could think was, so this was what their lives would have been like if Pete Tucker had been a different man. Rachel would have had a father and she would have had a—
She inhaled sharply and reached for the eggs, angrily breaking them one by one into a bowl. Stop it, she warned herself. Stop it right now. Fantasizing was one thing, but letting it go too far could be dangerous.
Wade came in on Rachel’s heels, and soon the kitchen was full of noise and laughter and Rachel begging for something to eat. And in the midst of it all, Judd sat, quietly watching and absorbing the love that bound them. Wade left soon afterward in his patrol car, leaving Judd to ride into town later with Charlie. The day was already full of things to be done. Charlie had shopping to do. Rachel had a checkup at the doctor’s. Wade had a missing man to find, and Judd needed to see a man about fixing his Jeep. Ordinary things on an ordinary day. But why, Judd wondered, if it was so ordinary, did he feel as if he was on the brink of discovery?
* * *
Waves of pain rolled across Raymond Shuler’s leg and up the muscles in his back. He’d lost track of time. Living behind the blindfold and gag was disorienting. Day turned to night, then back to day again. Every time he began to come to, someone poked a needle in his butt and sent him back to La La Land, which was fine with him. Lack of consciousness made his situation more bearable. He knew little more than he had when he’d first been taken, other than the fact that he was still naked, and whatever they’d done to his hip was probably infected. The heat from the wound permeated his entire body, often racking him with fever and chills. The mattress on which he was lying belly-down smelled like chicken feathers and dust. If he hadn’t been so sick, he would have been starving. Except for water, not a morsel of sustenance had passed his lips since this nightmare began. Every now and then when lucidity came, he would try to figure out who could have possibly done this to him.
In his business, he made enemies, but it went with the territory of being a banker. However, as hard as he had tried, he couldn’t think of one single man he’d pissed off who had enough guts to carry this through. So where did that leave him? Tied up and hurting in some godforsaken place, that’s where. All he could do was pray that, one way or another, it would soon be over.
* * *
Judd exited the body shop, satisfied that his vehicle was in good hands. Now all he had to do was exhibit some patience. It would take a week, maybe longer, for the parts to come in, and then time after that for Harold to repair the damage. Ordinarily, such a delay would have been frustrating, but for some reason, he felt as if he’d been given a reprieve. At least he had a valid excuse for staying on in Call City, instead of passing through as he’d planned.
He glanced up at the sky, gauging the building cloud bank against a possible threat of rain, and then looked around for Charlie’s car. When he’d seen her last, she’d been going into the doctor’s office with Rachel. Sure enough, the car was still in the parking lot. He paused, debating with himself about checking in on her first or going on to the police station. Truth be told, his cu
riosity over the missing banker was starting to grow. But he thought of Charlie, trying to cope with a wiggly baby and a sore ankle, and opted for the doctor’s office first.
The street was nearly deserted. A couple of cars were parked two blocks down on his left and there was another in the parking lot beside Charlie’s car. An old red hound ambled out of an alley and started across the street, sniffing along the pavement as it went. Several blocks away, a hulking figure of a man was coming up the street toward him, pulling a child’s red wagon as he went. Every now and then he would stop and dig through the trash cans at the edge of the curbs, obviously searching for recyclable cans.
Judd grinned to himself. This was a far cry from the big-city atmosphere of Tulsa. He stood for a while, watching the fervor with which the man searched. It was only after he’d come a bit closer that Judd realized the man was quite young, and obviously slow, both in mind and body. The childlike expressions that crossed the man’s face were quite touching, and his heart went out to the man-child who would never grow up.
A couple of minutes passed. Finally, the man was only a few yards away.
“Looks like you’ve got quite a load,” Judd said, pointing to the bed of the wagon and the rattling cans.
The man looked up, startled by the presence of a stranger.
The moment Judd spoke, he regretted the impulse. It was obvious the man was frightened.
“My name is Judd Hanna,” he said. “I’m staying with Wade and Charlie Franklin. Do you know them?”
The man’s face lit, from the inside out. “Rachel,” he said, nodding eagerly.
Judd smiled. “Yes, and Rachel,” he added. “So, she’s charmed even you. What’s your name, son?”
“Davie. My name is Davie.”
Judd held out his hand. “Hello there, Davie. Pleased to meet you.”
Davie hesitated, but only for an instant. He knew about handshakes. He just hadn’t been offered one before. He wiped his hand on his shirt and then clasped Judd’s hand, giving it a vigorous shake.
Judd noted that the man’s clothes were clean, and his hair, while in need of a cut, was definitely not shaggy. Someone was taking good care of him.
“I’m going to work now,” Davie announced, and reached for the wagon tongue.
Judd smiled as Davie moved past him. “Good hunting,” he said.
But Davie was already focused on more important matters, like the next untested garbage can and the treasure trove of cans that might be waiting.
Judd started across the street to the doctor’s office as the sound of rattling cans faded behind him. He entered to the sound of a baby’s cry, and to his dismay, saw Rachel in tears with Charlie not far behind. Ignoring the curious stares of the others in the waiting room, he hurried toward them.
“What’s wrong with her?” he said, cupping the back of Rachel’s head.
Charlie looked up, her eyes filled with sympathetic tears.
“It was time for her last booster shot. She’s pretty unhappy with me and the world right now.”
“Bless her heart,” Judd muttered.
Upon seeing a new and sympathetic face, Rachel set up another howl and held out her hands for Judd to take her.
“Do you mind?” Charlie asked. “I need both hands to write this check.”
Judd grinned and lifted the baby out of Charlotte’s arms.
“It would be my pleasure,” he said. “Come with me, little girl. Let’s go see if we can see any birds.”
Rachel hiccuped on a sob, hushing almost instantly. “Birds?”
He grinned. “Yeah, punkin. We’re going to look for some birds.” Then he winked at Charlie. “We’ll be outside, scanning the skies.”
She smiled gratefully.
“Tweet-tweet,” Rachel said, mimicking the bird sound she’d been taught.
Everyone in the waiting room laughed. Rachel didn’t know what was so funny, but being the instant center of attention was a lot better than getting a shot. She gave everyone a teary smile and clung to Judd’s collar as they started out the door.
“Here, these might help,” Charlie said, handing Judd a plastic sandwich bag full of miniature marshmallows.
“She likes these?” Judd asked.
Charlie rolled her eyes. “Oh, yes. Just don’t let her put them all in her mouth at one time.”
“Right,” he said, looking a little nervous as Rachel reached for the bag.
A few moments later, they were gone.
“Who was that?” the receptionist asked as Charlie handed the woman her check.
Charlie glanced out the window. From where she was standing, she could just see the back of Judd’s shirt and the top of Rachel’s head, but they were both looking toward the sky. She looked back at the receptionist and stifled a smile. Curiosity was eating her up.
“Oh, you mean Judd? He’s the man who saved Rachel and me from Tucker’s bull.”
Every gaze in the waiting room swerved toward the man outside. They’d already asked about Charlie’s limp and learned of their brush with death. But now, to actually see the hero of the moment was too much to ignore.
Then Charlie added, “Actually, he’s a policeman from Tulsa, Oklahoma. He’s staying at our place while his vehicle is being repaired, and he’s graciously agreed to help Wade with the Shuler case.”
The receptionist gasped, then stood and leaned across the counter for a better look at the man on the lawn outside.
“He sure is good-looking,” she said.
Instantly on the defensive, Charlie dropped her ballpoint pen into her purse and snapped it shut. She’d endured comments from plenty of people about the fact that Pete Tucker had knocked her up and then left her behind, choosing the rodeo life instead of her. Of course, there were plenty more people who thought that when Pete Tucker broke his neck on that bull, he got no more than what he deserved, but that didn’t help Charlie’s conscience one bit. There was no denying the truth of it all. She’d let a man get too close and come away burned. There was no way she’d let that happen again.
“I’ll call you about Rachel’s next appointment when it gets closer to time,” Charlie said.
The receptionist had been put neatly in her place and she knew it.
“Sure thing, Charlie. You take care of that ankle now, you hear?”
Charlie nodded and started toward the door. All the way across the room, she felt the people’s stares and knew she was being judged yet again.
Once outside, she breathed a slow sigh of relief, then gave herself permission to focus on something besides her sordid past.
Unfortunately, the only thing there to focus on was her child and the man who was holding her. The sight of them together tugged at her heart. It occurred to her then that her life was spiraling out of control.
At that moment, Judd turned and Charlie found herself caught in his stare. A long, silent moment passed, and all she could think was, Lord, don’t do this to me again.
Chapter 4
Charlie pulled out of the parking lot and onto Main Street, but her attention to driving was being distracted by the man beside her. Judd was sitting sideways in the seat and laughing between mouthfuls of marshmallows that her daughter was poking into his mouth. Every other bite that he took, he made a pretend growl and nipped at her baby fingers, which seemed to Rachel to be the height of hilarity. Charlie sighed. That laugh was so like her daddy’s, God rest his sorry soul. Then she turned a corner and began slowing down.
“I need to get a prescription filled,” she said, and parked in front of the pharmacy.
“I’d be glad to do it for you,” Judd said. “Save you an extra step or two.”
She hesitated, then gratefully agreed. “Just tell Judith Dandridge, the pharmacist, to bill Wade at the office.”
“Will do,” Judd said, then he winked at Rachel. “Be back in a minute, punkin. Don’t give Mommy all my marshmallows.”
Rachel dropped the sack and held out her hands. “Wanna go.”
Judd
glanced at Charlie. “I don’t mind if you don’t,” he said.
Charlie hesitated, but only briefly. “I suppose it’s okay,” she said. “But don’t let her talk you into anything. She’s had enough sweets, and whatever you do, don’t put her down. The last time we were in there, she tipped over an entire rack of condoms. When I bent down to start picking them up, she began poking them in my purse.”
Judd threw back his head and laughed. He was still chuckling as he pulled Rachel out of her car seat.
“Come on, kiddo. You sound like my kind of girl.”
Charlie handed him the pill bottle to be refilled and managed a smile, but her knuckles were white from gripping the steering wheel too tightly as she watched them disappearing into the pharmacy. The image of a big strong man carrying a tiny child was too touching to be ignored. And the smiles of delight on each of their faces only added to her fears. At that moment, she would have liked nothing better than to sit there and cry. But letting go of her emotions was a luxury she couldn’t afford.
God, please take away this feeling. I don’t want to want that man.
Then she sighed again and looked toward the street, trying to focus on something besides the lump in her throat. Unfortunately, the near-empty street was a mirror to her own life. Granted, she had a brother who loved and cared for her, and she had her child. There was nothing Charlie loved more than being Rachel’s mother. But a valid part of her life was missing. She took care of Wade and Rachel and their home—but there was no one to take care of her. She slept alone and wept alone, and for the most part, considered it her just due. But every now and then, something or someone would come along and remind her of how lonely her life really was. It was those times, like now, when she would have traded almost anything to be held in a man’s loving arms.
Had Judd been aware of Charlie’s feelings, he would have had an entirely different set of thoughts in his mind. But he was too busy fielding Rachel’s chatter and grabbing at her busy little hands to worry about the woman they’d left behind. When he got to the prescription counter, he glanced at the pharmacist’s name tag as he set the bottle on the counter and wondered about her stern expression. Dandridge. Not Judith, or Miss or Ms., just Dandridge. She was tall, almost as tall as he, and although she didn’t look to be more than forty or so, her thick straight hair was iron-gray with a mannish, military cut. Once, he thought, she would have been considered an attractive woman, but now it was hard to see past the bitterness on her face.