What about the accountants or the school teachers who I believed would be perfect for me? What’s to say that one of them wouldn’t turn out to be alcoholics and cheaters and violent? Did someone’s lifestyle really dictate how they behaved in their personal lives or their relationships?
There was no denying that I had feelings for Hunter. As much as I tried to fight them, they have hit me with full force. I felt safe around him. I was attracted to him with a burning passion that wasn’t willing to go away. I had never been with a man before who could make me feel the way he did. But I think one think that was stopping me from falling completely over the edge was the fact that he was part of a MC.
I drove with the radio on loud as I made my way towards the daycare. The blaring music seemed to dull my senses a little, distract me somewhat from all the contradictory thoughts in my head…but I was only kidding myself.
Every time I thought I could stop thinking about Hunter, there he was again, and I was reliving every moment that I had spent with him. The sound of his deep strong laugh echoed in my ears, I could smell his presence on my body, the way he held me tightly in his arms, how he had said that he would protect me…protect Carter.
What if all of this was just an act? What if eventually, I would find out that he was just as bad as Tony? Wasn’t Tony attractive and strong and passionate in those first few months of our relationship? I couldn’t stop thinking about how susceptible I was to making bad decisions. How my taste in men always led me to trouble. And now I was responsible for my son too. I couldn’t just decide on a man who might hurt Carter. It wasn’t just about me anymore.
But maybe Hunter was different? Maybe he was telling the truth when he said that he would never do anything to harm Carter or me? In the short space of time in which I’d known him, he had conducted himself well. Within the first few minutes he was in my physical therapy space, I could easily tell that he cared for his friend Marco. How willing he was to help him out, which to me spoke volumes on his character. In that time, he had shown no signs of violence, other than when he got angry over Tony. Even then, he hadn’t taken his anger out on me. Which was something Tony was quick to do. Everything had been my fault with him. And Hunter didn’t make me feel like I was his property. He gave me a choice, he treated me with respect, like I was giving him a gift. He hadn’t taken me for granted…not yet at least.
I parked the car in the parking lot, and sighing loudly, I got out and started walking towards the daycare building.
“Hi babe,” a voice said behind me and I felt my blood run cold in my veins. I whipped around, startled.
Tony was standing there, with his hands thrust menacingly into the pockets of his leather jacket. He also looked like he had been drinking without a break and hadn’t shaved for weeks. There were bags under his eyes and his face looked dry and scratchy. I couldn’t imagine what I had ever seen in him.
I clutched my purse to myself as self-defense. Even though there was no way that I could really defend myself if he wanted to harm me in some way.
“Tony!” I screeched.
“Scar,” he said, with that same threatening grin on his face.
“How many times do I have to tell you to stay away from us?” I hissed at him, taking a few steps away from him.
Tony’s eyes travelled over my body, he was undressing me with his eyes and I felt sickeningly naked under his stare. I wished Hunter was there. I wished I hadn’t left his side.
“Or what?” he asked, raising his eyebrows at me.
“Or I’ll call the cops,” I blurted out and Tony’s laugh rang out in the parking lot.
“That is very scary, Kylie. Please don’t call the cops on me,” he joked, in a shrill childish voice which made me want to lash out at him, to tear his eyes out. My mouth soured as I glared at him, and he stared directly at my breasts for a few moments before he looked back up at my face.
“You’ve been ignoring my calls, babe. I’ve been getting worried. Is everything okay?” he said, enjoying himself. He could see the effect he had on me and it made him feel powerful.
“I’m fine. You don’t have to worry about me. Stay away from us! I don’t want to speak to you,” I said to him, loud enough in the hopes that Joan would hear the commotion outside and keep Carter inside with her. The last thing I wanted was to put Carter in danger.
“I don’t want to speak to you either, babe, I’ve had you. I’m bored of you. You’re nothing but an ungrateful whore,” Tony’s voice had changed now. The laughter was replaced with malice and there were threats dripping from his voice as he spoke.
I stuck my chin up in the air. In fact, I was glad to hear it. I was grateful that he didn’t want me anymore. I didn’t want to be wanted by him.
“I want to see my son. I want him to live with me,” Tony said and I felt my heart plummet to my stomach.
“You’re kidding!” I breathed.
“Have I ever told you a joke? I’m not a joking kinda guy, babe. I’m sick and tired of having to come around looking for him here. I should be able to see my son whenever I want. He needs his father and he needs to become a man. I don’t want him to turn out to be a pussy like you,” Tony took a few threatening steps towards me and I backed away, still clutching my purse to myself in fear. I could see the rage in his eyes now. A look I knew very well. He was moments away from exploding and once he did, there was no telling what he was capable of doing.
“Carter is safe with me. I am his mother and you are a violent alcoholic murdering man. I know what you and your group have been up to. What you’ve been doing to girls! There is no way that I’m going to allow Carter to be anywhere near you,” I spat the words out and Tony didn’t seem to be surprised by what I was saying. He just didn’t care.
“I’m not asking for permission, babe,” he said in a softer voice. He was laughing at me again, as though what I was saying was absolutely ridiculous.
“You’re not taking him. No court in the world would give you custody over me. After they see your records, after they see you…nobody in their right mind would give Carter to you!” I yelled and Tony threw his head back and laughed. This laugh was different, it was a genuine laugh…like I had said something funny.
“You think I’m going to let you take this to court? You think I’m going to wait for a decision by an old man in a silly robe makes? You’re hilarious babe, so sweet,” he said and I could feel pinpricks under my skin. My eyes were wide, and filled with water. I closed my eyes quickly in hopes to keep my tears at bay. I wished I was stronger, I wished I could just lunge at this horrible man and beat him up. I should have just taken Hunter up on his offer. A man like this, someone who threatened my son…didn’t deserve to live.
“You can fuck off, Tony,” I muttered under my breath and turned from him, but he had heard me and he reached for my hand and yanked me to himself. I gasped in fright when he did it but I kept my face turned to his. I wasn’t going to let him see that I was scared.
“What are you going to do to me, Tony? Hit me here? In broad daylight?” I hissed at him through gritted teeth. With our faces just inches apart now, I could smell the horrid smell of stale whisky on his breath and it nearly made me gag.
Tony’s eyes were bloodshot too. He was breathing hard, his grip on my wrist was tight and I knew he was going to leave a mark there. Then he suddenly smiled, peering straight into my eyes.
“I don’t need to lay a finger on you, babe, not myself at least. The Dragon Knights will do it for me, and make sure that your precious mamma’s boy is delivered to exactly where he belongs. With me,” Tony said. He stumbled slightly as he tried to pull me towards him and I yanked my wrist out of his tight grip. I stepped back and threw him a threatening last look before I hurried up the steps and went into the daycare.
Joan was standing by the window, keeping a protective arm around Carter.
“Kylie…is everything okay?” she whispered in a panic, and I grabbed my son from her and picked him up in my arms.
“Everything is okay. Thanks, Joan. I promise I’ll take care of this. I’m so sorry for all the trouble,” I said and she nodded her head.
I rushed out of the building, with Carter still in my arms, and ran as quickly as I could to my car. Tony was standing there, and he smiled at Carter and me as we hurried past him. I know Tony wasn’t stupid enough to grab me or Carter there with everyone inside the daycare watching. But I knew had to get away from Tony as fast as I could.
“That was daddy again! He came to see me?” Carter asked as I helped him into the backseat and buckled him up. I didn’t reply to him as I jumped into the front seat and started the car. I buckled my seatbelt quickly and slammed down on the gas.
“Mommy?” he was whining now in the back as the tires screeched and I sped off.
“Baby, give mommy a minute!” I snapped, glaring at him though the rearview mirror and I could see that he was about to burst into tears. I rarely ever scolded him like this, because he rarely ever did anything to annoy me. But today was different. Today I was worried about our safety.
I drove as fast as I could, away from the daycare. I was afraid of going home. Not tonight, when Tony was in this mood. I had a feeling that he would turn up at my apartment. Where could I go? Tony knew where my parents lived and I had no real friends I could bring Carter to. My life these past three years had revolved around nothing but Carter and work. Leaving me barely any time to socialize. Besides, Tony knew everybody in my life. He had made sure that I had no privacy. If he wanted to find me, he would know everywhere to check.
“Where are we going?” Carter was whining again as we sped through the streets. He could sense that something was wrong, that this wasn’t a normal day and that we were not headed towards our apartment.
“It’ll be fine, sweetheart. I thought we could go on a little adventure,” I cooed to him, remembering to keep my voice calm so that I didn’t alarm him.
“To the beach?” he asked, clapping his hands.
“Somewhere even better!” I said, forcing myself to smile at him in the mirror. I was glad that he bought it. He trusted me.
I drove fast, keeping my windows up and the radio playing music to keep us both distracted. I was the one at fault. I was the one who had brought this upon us and nobody else could solve it except me. But first, I would have to make sure that Carter was safe.
CHAPTER 16
Kylie
I had a firm grip on Carter’s hand when I knocked on Hunter’s door. My heart was beating fast and I was constantly looking over my shoulder, even though I was pretty sure that we hadn’t been followed here. I didn’t even know if he was home. Was Hunter even the kind of guy who hung out at his apartment a lot?
When the door opened, I felt a wave of relief flood over my body. Hunter was standing on the other side of the door, in a t-shirt and a pair of old jeans which had holes in them. His tattooed arm was openly on display, his sandy blond hair was ruffled and he had a bowl of what looked like pasta in his hands.
Neither of us spoke for a few moments, I stared at him, while he stared at Carter who was standing beside me.
“Hi,” I finally broke the ice. Hunter looked up at me, his blue eyes were calm but also confused.
“Hi,” he said blankly.
“Hi,” Carter echoed and I noticed that he was craning his neck to look up at this tall strange man in front of him.
“Can we come in?” I asked, feeling a tremble in my arms now. Hunter stepped aside quietly and I ushered Carter into the apartment. I wondered if Hunter could smell the fear off me.
The TV was on, Hunter was watching the game and behind us the kitchen looked like it had been recently used. Hunter shut and locked the door and then joined us in the middle of his living room.
“Are you hungry?” he asked, looking at Carter who nodded his head.
“Sorry, I didn’t have time to feed him before we came,” I said to Hunter, who had already walked over to the kitchen island. He was serving a small portion of pasta into a plastic bowl, which he then brought over to Carter.
“What do you say?” I spoke to Carter kindly.
“Thank you,” Carter said when he accepted the bowl from Hunter.
“You can sit here and eat,” Hunter reached for my son and placing his large hand on Carter’s back, he led him to the couch. Then he flipped through the channels, till he found some cartoons and helped Carter settle into the middle of the couch.
I was still standing where they had left me, feeling shivers running up and down my spine. I was debating what to tell Hunter. Dealing with Tony was my responsibility. I shouldn’t be asking for Hunter’s help to deal with an angry ex. All I really wanted was for Carter to be safe somewhere while I spoke to Tony. While I tried to talk some sense into the man. If I could. But I had to try. How long was I supposed to live in fear?
“Everything all right?” Hunter walked back to me and there was a dull worried expression in his eyes now as he spoke. He was talking in a softer voice and we heard the sound of Carter’s laugh in the background. I was glad that my son was comfortable here.
Under Hunter’s watchful gaze, I tucked some strands of stray curls behind my ears and tried to force a smile on my face.
“Yeah, no, everything is all right. We got locked out of our apartment and I didn’t really know where to go,” I lied quickly while he looked at me with furrowed brows.
“You got locked out of your apartment?” he confirmed, and crossed his bulging arms over his muscular chest. I felt that familiar tug in my belly. That pull between my legs which said that I wanted him again.
“Yeah, I just need to go wait for my landlord to get back so I can get a new set of keys made,” I said and added a nervous laugh for good measure. Hunter was eyeing me with a look that said that he didn’t quite believe me, but he didn’t protest either.
“So, you’re going to wait here?” he asked, his voice softening a little now.
“Yeah, well no, I know it is a lot to ask, but I was hoping that you wouldn’t mind having Carter here for a few hours. I’ll go wait for the landlord. I know Carter is tired and hungry and will probably want to sleep soon. I didn’t want him waiting with me outside our building for ages,” I said, holding Hunter’s gaze while he studied me again. For a few moments, there was silence between us and I thought he wasn’t going to believe me, then finally he nodded his head.
“Of course, he can. He can stay with me,” he said and I smiled, relieved again.
“Okay, good. I’ll be back as soon as I get the keys made. Thank you Hunter!” I said and rushed past him, to avoid any more questions, and went over to Carter. I placed a quick kiss on top of his head.
“You be good with Hunter, okay? He’s my friend and he’ll take care of you while mommy’s away. Just a few hours,” I said to him and Carter nodded his head. He was enjoying the cartoons and had pasta sauce covering his lips.
“Thanks again, Hunter. I promise, I won’t be long,” I turned to him again, and then rushed towards the door. I could sense that he was staring at me, still trying to figure out if I was telling the truth or not, and then I was gone.
I was bounding down the stairs, starting the car…trying to steady my hands so I could drive safely. I had to put an end to this. I had to make Tony understand that I wasn’t afraid of him and that he couldn’t have my son.
Now that I knew that my son was in a safe place, I didn’t care what Tony did to me, as long as he stayed away from Carter.
CHAPTER 17
Hunter
The closed my apartment door and turned and stared at the kid on my couch. I wasn’t exactly sure how to have a conversation with a little human. I wasn’t lying to Kylie when I said that I liked kids, but only from a distance. They were cute and shit, but I didn’t know what to do with one if I was alone with them. My apartment wasn’t exactly fitted out to entertain a three-year-old.
Carter had dark shaggy hair and dark eyes, but there was so much about him that was like Kylie. He had his m
other’s sweet-natured looks and a warm smile that had instantly attracted me to her.
I walked around to him now, while he dangled his tiny legs off the edge of the couch.
“Want some more?” I said and noticed that he still had a sizable portion of pasta remaining in his bowl. Carter looked up at me, smiled and then shook his head.
“I like drawing,” he said out of the blue, which startled me.
“Okay, sure…yeah, I could arrange that,” I said and looked about me manically. Kylie had left me no instructions. What was I supposed to do if he wanted to use the toilet? How was I going to pacify him if he suddenly burst into tears? Kids did that a lot, didn’t they? Burst into tears randomly?
I went over to my bedroom and rummaged in the drawers and found a crumbled-up sheet of paper. With no crayons or markers around, I brought him a blue pen and the paper and Carter hungrily took it from me.
Then he started drawing circles on it, and arrows and some more lines and I could sense that there were going to be pen marks on the couch once he was done. Within minutes, he had completed his masterpiece and stuck the page out towards me.
“These are fruits,” he said with enthusiasm and I took the page from him and stared at it in confusion. These fucking things looked nothing like fruit. They looked like rubbish. What was I supposed to say to him?
I looked at him and smiled.
“I want to eat them, they’re so good,” I said and Carter found it fucking hilarious. He was rolling around on the couch, clutching his belly as he laughed.
“You’re silly. More!” he squealed with joy and I looked around me again.
“Okay,” I said to him and then went over and got him a roll of kitchen paper towels. Carter took them from me and tore off a square sheet.
“Can you draw?” he asked, his dark eyes shining brightly as he looked up at me.
“I can try, but you’re so good!” I found myself saying. I was surprised that I was even being able to carry out a conversation with this kid.
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