The Lazy Girl's Guide To Magic : The Complete Series

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The Lazy Girl's Guide To Magic : The Complete Series Page 33

by Helen Harper


  Winter stared at me. ‘So what you’re saying is that a sheep tried to get access and was foiled by security so climbed over the fence instead, which is … how high?’

  I considered. ‘About two metres.’

  ‘So this sheep climbed over a two-metre high fence, walked through Bellows’ door—’

  ‘Went through the rear window, actually,’ I interrupted.

  Winter gave me a long-suffering look. ‘Fine. Went through the window, hit a crew member over the head, slit its own throat, disposed of its own body and created enough havoc to stop Enchantment from filming.’

  I smiled. I hadn’t told him about my pièce de resistance. ‘This sheep also drew a pentagram on the wall of Bellows’ trailer.’

  His spine stiffened. ‘A pentagram?’

  ‘Yep.’ I reached over and grabbed his pint glass, taking a long swig and smacking my lips. I deserved it. ‘A crude one but definitely a pentagram. Obviously, someone bewitched the sheep to do all this.’

  ‘So, in your infinite wisdom, Ivy,’ he said, ‘what’s the motive for all this?’

  I shrugged. ‘I don’t know. I figured I’d leave that part to you.’

  Winter snatched his drink back from me. Boo. ‘Have you ever tried to bewitch a sheep?’

  ‘No. I don’t meet many sheep in Oxford. I tried it on Brutus once. I attempted to bewitch him so that he’d go and buy his own cat food.’

  ‘You attempted?’

  ‘Yeah. It didn’t work.’

  Winter rolled his eyes. ‘You’re probably the most naturally talented witch I’ve ever met, Ivy, even if you do let those talents go to waste. If you can’t bewitch your own familiar, how would someone else manage to bewitch a sheep? Even if they could, how could they bewitch a sheep to scale two-metre high fences?’

  I opened my mouth to speak but he held up a hand to forestall me. ‘If it really is sheep’s blood, then someone brought the sheep over and killed it in Bellows’ trailer.’ He rubbed his chin. ‘Although what they did with the body is anyone’s guess. Perhaps Bellows is the next target and this is a warning.’

  As much as I liked my theory, Winter’s did make more sense. ‘It would have to be someone strong to get a damn sheep over the fence and through the window.’

  He grunted in agreement. ‘Probably male, then.’

  ‘And,’ I added, ‘probably a witch, given the pentagram.’

  ‘Or someone who thinks of themselves as a witch. When was the last time you used a pentagram?’

  I tried to think. Then I remembered: it was when I wanted to go out with Mickey Jones, the best-looking guy at school. The theory was that he would fall in love with me instantly and invite me to be his date at the end-of-school dance. It hadn’t worked. Too embarrassed to tell the truth, I just shrugged. ‘It’s been a while.’

  ‘Yes. They’re more trouble than they’re worth. It’s good intelligence though, Ivy. The pentagram means the Order has to be involved. I can get on set and you can go home.’ He gave a self-satisfied smile.

  I sat up bolt upright. ‘Go home? Why would I do that?’

  ‘Oh, come on. We both know you don’t want to be here.’

  ‘It’s been barely a day,’ I argued. ‘And I’ve discovered a damn sight more than I’ve just told you. I’m the lynchpin of this entire operation.’

  ‘Really?’ he said drily.

  ‘Really! For example, the presenter, Belinda Battenapple, who is all things fabulous and wonderful and who I would one day like to grow up to be, is wearing some kind of magical vial round her neck.’ I described it in great detail, including how she’d hastily hidden it when it accidentally revealed itself. Winter didn’t appear particularly impressed. ‘That’s not all. Her son, Moonbeam—’

  ‘Moonbeam?’

  I waved a hand at him. ‘Don’t interrupt. Moonbeam told me that he wanted to scare the contestants so that one dropped out and he could take their place. He really wants to be on the show. The sheep thing might be completely unconnected to the murder. It might just be him trying to create enough of a stir to get what he wants.’

  Winter looked at me. ‘Was he gone for any part of the day before the blood was discovered?’

  I wrinkled my nose. I’d been watching him every chance I’d had to find out how I could copy his avoidance of work. Moonbeam hadn’t left the set. ‘Um, no. But he might have had something to do with it.’

  ‘All the same, Ivy,’ Winter said, ‘I think it’s best if you leave this to the professionals now.’

  For just a moment, he lost some of his allure. ‘What? You plonker! You can’t say that! I can be professional. I’ve not even told you about Gareth yet. He’s the one who found the body – or what was left of it. He’s bound to have some good information to spill and I bet he’ll only want to tell it to me. I’ve already developed a relationship with him.’

  Winter growled. ‘What kind of relationship?’

  ‘The kind where he thinks he can trust me,’ I shot back. ‘You need me, Winter. You can’t cut me loose.’

  A tiny smile played around Winter’s lips. It was so fleeting that, once it was gone, I wondered whether I’d imagined it. ‘You’re asking to stay on and work?’

  ‘Yes! Not as a runner though. You should get me a different position. Maybe …’ I thought about it ‘…as a food tester. We’ve had dismemberment. Poison is the next natural step.’

  ‘Is it?’

  ‘It could be!’ I’d have kept on arguing with him but I had the feeling that I’d already won. Then a thought occurred to me. ‘Hang on,’ I said suspiciously. ‘Have you just been trying to manipulate me into staying?’

  ‘Of course not! I wouldn’t dream of doing such a thing.’

  I watched him. The spark suddenly gleaming in the depths of Winter’s eyes told me I was right: he wanted me around.

  A miniature starburst of joy exploded in my chest. ‘Of course you wouldn’t,’ I said. I leaned in towards him with a serious expression. ‘I’m glad you have a reason to be on set now,’ I told him. ‘It’ll be good to be working close together again.’

  Winter’s gaze met mine. ‘Yes,’ he replied with a ring of sincerity that made my toes curl. ‘It really will be.’

  He finished his drink and gave me a little nudge. ‘You should toddle off. See if you can find this Gareth and learn more about what he discovered. The more details we can get first-hand about the murder, the better.’

  I’d rather hoped that he was going to suggest we have a couple of drinks to celebrate the re-forming of our relationship but I should have known he’d want to stick to work. All the same, I was feeling more optimistic where Winter was concerned.

  Wanting to show that I was prepared to listen to him and do as he asked – to an extent – I gave him a quick bob of my head and slid off the stool. I was halfway to the door when I turned round and caught a glimpse of him smiling to himself in the bar mirror. Boom.

  I trudged back through the streets of Tomintoul towards my hotel, ignoring the curious looks I was getting from the locals – and the odd hissed comment. They’d probably all been delighted when they’d found out Enchantment was coming here but I’d bet Brutus’s tail that they thought differently now.

  I couldn’t see any sign of Gareth and I didn’t know where to start looking. It would be a waste of breath to ask around for him, even if this were the kind of place where everyone knew everyone else. I knew that this lot would be taciturn and unwilling to point him out to me. I had to find someone who was still dazzled by Enchantment and not put off by the grisly goings-on. Teenagers.

  ‘If I were fifteen years old,’ I muttered to myself, ‘where would I hang out?’ Bike sheds seem somewhat passé these days. No doubt there would be some kids hanging around the hotel, hoping for a glimpse of someone famous but I didn’t want any of the crew catching sight of what I was up to.

  I had to think laterally. It was coming up for six o’clock, so school was out of the question. I doubted there would be a handy skate pa
rk around here – but there was a sign for a leisure centre nearby. I shrugged: it seemed as good a place as any. And it was only round the corner. I wanted to please Winter but I did have limits – and I hadn’t been lying to Amy about those damned blisters.

  Fortunately, I was in luck. As soon as the leisure centre came into view, a pair of boys on bikes rode by. Concentrating, I threw out a quick rune, causing the chain on the lead bike to come undone. It wasn’t one of my best ideas – the kid on the bike behind collided with his mate with a loud clunk of metal and an even louder curse. Oops.

  I darted over to help them. ‘Are you alright?’

  ‘Fine,’ the first one muttered from where he was entangled with his bike.

  Good. I didn’t want to have to mess around with putting the chain back on for him.

  He extricated his feet from the bike’s frame and pulled himself up. ‘You idiot,’ he hissed to his friend.

  ‘It’s not my fault, Al. You’re the one who stopped.’

  ‘Because my bleeding chain came off, didn’t it?’

  Both boys realised I was watching them and glared. ‘Why are you still here?’

  I held up my hands. ‘I thought you might need some help.’ I paused. ‘I don’t know much about bicycles but I helped fix the axle on one of the camera equipment trucks last week and they can’t be that different.’

  My oh-so-subtle hint did the trick. The second boy’s eyes widened. ‘You’re with Enchantment.’

  I clapped my hand over my mouth and looked guilty. ‘I wasn’t supposed to say anything. Pretend you didn’t hear me.’ I started walking away.

  ‘Wait!’

  I grinned to myself and turned slowly. ‘Yes?’

  ‘What do you do for Enchantment? Do you know Belinda? Did you see the dead body? Was there a lot of blood?’

  The questions came so thick and fast I didn’t know which one to answer first. ‘Er … I shouldn’t say anything. It’s a closed set and we’re not supposed to talk to the public about what’s going on.’

  ‘We won’t tell anyone,’ Al said slyly.

  ‘Yeah,’ added his mate. ‘Tell us about Belinda. She’s hot.’

  She was also old enough to be their grandmother. ‘Between you and me,’ I said, ‘she’s a bit worked up about the murder and what happened this afternoon. She likes to get a handle on things, you know? The police won’t talk to her about the death and she feels she can’t settle until she knows all the details.’

  The boys exchanged looks. ‘We know who found the body,’ the one called Al said.

  His friend nudged him knowingly. ‘Yeah. Al knows him real well.’

  Al snorted. ‘Not through choice. He’s loony tunes. She’d do better to stay away from him.’

  ‘Who is he?’

  ‘Gareth.’ The other boy smirked slyly at his friend. ‘McAllan. He lives at Glen Bart Farm.’

  ‘She won’t find him there though,’ Al added. ‘He’s not been back home since it happened.’ He gave a derisive snort. ‘Baby.’

  It was easy to judge when you were a kid and you hadn’t seen what Gareth had seen. ‘So where is he then?’

  A calculating expression crossed Al’s eyes. ‘Buy us a pack of fags and we’ll tell you.’

  ‘Smoking’s bad for you.’

  ‘Not as bad as working for a television company where everyone keeps dying.’ The spotty one had a point.

  I shrugged. ‘Okay.’

  ‘Fags first. Then we’ll tell you.’

  Arse. These two were smarter than they made out. I nodded in agreement and they directed me towards the nearest corner shop, although they kept out of sight. I had the feeling that the shopkeeper was probably wise to their tricks.

  Buying the first packet I saw, I handed over a crumpled ten-pound note and marvelled at the cost. Then I palmed the packet and went back outside again, finding the boys scuffing a nearby wall. I held up the packet. ‘Here you go. You have to tell me where I can find Gareth before I hand it over though. Belinda will be really keen to meet him.’

  ‘Back there.’ Al jerked his head at the leisure centre. ‘He’s in the gym. Thinks if he bulks up he’ll be in with the ladies. As if.’

  Gareth hadn’t struck me as the kind of person who enjoyed a good workout. I shuddered slightly. Even the mention of the word brought me out in hives. It was also somewhat galling that he was so close; I could probably have found him without the dubious help of these two.

  ‘Thanks,’ I beamed. Then, before either of them could reach for the cigarettes, I drew a rune and set the whole packet ablaze. ‘Up in smoke,’ I said sadly.

  ‘You…’ Al stared at me like I’d just killed his puppy.

  I shrugged. ‘It really is bad for you. You should get a new hobby.’

  He lunged for me but his friend grabbed him and held him back. ‘Leave it be. She’s obviously some kind of witch.’

  Something flashed in his eyes. ‘No wonder she’s so ugly. Do you ride a broomstick? Will you turn us into frogs?’

  I smiled. ‘No. But I will tell your parents if you don’t piss off.’

  I received identical glares of vicious hatred. I raised my hand as if to draw out another rune, however, and they got the message quickly enough, taking their bikes and sloping off with only a few scowls over their shoulders in my direction. They’d get over it. One day they might even thank me. I watched them go then turned round. Gareth was waiting.

  Chapter Eight

  My unhappy confidants hadn’t been lying. Gareth was indeed in the gym, heaving a barbell even though the pallor of his skin suggested he might do better to lie down for a week or two. He certainly didn’t look like he was having fun.

  ‘Hey!’

  He jerked in shock and almost lost his grip on the weight.

  ‘Sorry,’ I said. ‘I didn’t mean to startle you.’

  ‘You’re looking for me? How did you know I was here?’

  ‘Some kids outside.’ Gareth flinched. I pretended not to notice. Teenage boys like Al and his buddy could be intimidating but neither of us needed to admit it out loud. ‘How are you doing?’

  He put the barbell down and looked at me woefully. ‘Great. Just great. I can’t sleep no matter how much alcohol I throw down my throat. All I can think about every time I close my eyes is,’ he glanced around in case anyone was listening, ‘well, you know. I can’t eat because every time I smell food I want to throw up. And all I get are people wanting to hear the grisly details. Vultures.’

  Ah. It was unfortunate that I would be classed in that category. For the right reasons though, I comforted myself. I sat down on a bench next to him. ‘I’m really sorry to hear that. Maybe it would help to talk about it. If you got it off your chest, it might make you feel better.’

  He flicked a dribble of sweat from his forehead. ‘Why are you here? Don’t tell me it’s to work out.’

  I sighed. Sometimes the truth is the only way out. ‘There’s been another incident on set,’ I told him. ‘I don’t think anyone has died but there’s a lot of blood. The police are doing their best but I can’t help thinking that magic has to be involved somehow.’ I met his eyes. ‘I’m here because I’m a witch. I’m not with the Order or anything like that but I think I can help with the investigation. Whoever did that to Benjamin Albert will probably try again with someone else. You don’t just dismember someone then walk away and forget about it. The police won’t let any witches into the investigation but the fact it involved a contestant on a magic show…’

  My voice trailed away. There wasn’t any real evidence that magic was involved, regardless of what the Ipsissimus had told me about secondary sources. But it still seemed very plausible. This was no ordinary killing.

  ‘I want to stop it from happening again, Gareth, and if you tell me what you saw then I might be able to do just that. I can look at it from a fresh perspective. And,’ I added, ‘I really do think that talking about it will help.’

  Gareth watched me for a long moment. ‘I believe yo
u,’ he said finally.

  ‘That’s because I’m telling the truth. Look, I wasn’t lying before when I said I know a little about what you’re going through. My experience was wholly different to yours and far less brutal, but it still took me a long while before I could get it out of my head. Even if you won’t talk to me, you should talk to someone. You need professional help.’

  His head dropped. ‘The police gave me a number for Victim Support but they also interrogated me as if they thought I’d done it. Ripped someone apart.’ He squeezed his eyes shut. ‘No one with a soul could do that to another human being.’

  I waited. The music piped into the gym changed to an upbeat number, no doubt to fool people into believing that working out was fun. It didn’t seem to be doing much for Gareth. For a long moment he didn’t say anything. He didn’t even move. Then he grabbed a small towel, wiped his face and looked up at me.

  ‘What do you want to know?’ he asked quietly.

  I didn’t smile because this wasn’t a cause for celebration. Regardless of the reason I was here, my heart still went out to him. I touched his arm gently to show that I appreciated what he was doing and kept my voice quiet. ‘How did you find the body?’

  ‘I work at Glen Bart farm. One of the sheep had escaped from a field so I went to try and find it.’

  A sheep. I couldn’t help wondering if it was the same one that had bled out in Bellows’ trailer. I kept my mouth shut though, and gave him a small encouraging nod.

  ‘There was a trail. I’m no tracker, but there were marks made by some shoes that didn’t look like they matched those of anyone else from Glen Bart.’ At my questioning glance, Gareth elaborated further. ‘We all wear wellies or steel-capped boots. These looked…’ He shrugged. ‘I dunno. Smart.’

 

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