Anything. I nod for her to continue. If I’ve learned one thing in this family, it’s to save my words until they count.
“I found us an acceptable condo a couple miles from the house. The neighborhood isn’t as established as ours, but it has three bedrooms, two baths, and is a fairly new construction. Only one garage though.”
The thought of having to brush snow off my SUV in the middle of a Colorado winter threatens to spoil my mood, but if the kids at the soup kitchen this morning don’t even have a driveway, I can deal with downsizing. “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, right?”
She smiles—a real smile that reaches her eyes—and she seems a little surprised. She must have expected an argument from me. “I know this hasn’t been easy for you either.”
I smile back.
She lifts her glass and holds it toward me. “To new beginnings.”
I clink my glass of sparkling water against hers and take a sip. Fizzy bubbles tickle my nose. “You’re a lot more optimistic about this than I thought you’d be.”
“What choice do I have?” she asks.
I think of the horrible man from earlier today. While he didn’t choose the course his life has taken, his past behavior probably led him there.
She sighs. “Maybe being a hard-ass isn’t worth the effort.”
A laugh escapes me. Without knowing it, we’ve been coming to the same conclusions. I take another sip of water. “I’ll drink to that.”
*****
By Saturday, I’m ready to crawl out of my skin. I still haven’t heard from Xavier—not that it matters, really—and I’ve thought about asking Drea to hang out but I’m not sure if we’ve surpassed the I’m-hanging-out-with-you-because-you’re-the-best-option-at-community-service level to actually being friends. Besides, she’s probably busy with Colton and her family.
As a last resort, I slump next to Mom at the kitchen table. “Want to go skiing?” I ask.
She looks up from the article she’s reading on her tablet and blinks several times. “I’m sorry. Did you just ask to hang out with me?”
I run my finger over the cool marble. “Maybe.”
“This is the second time you’ve asked.” She sets down her tablet and gives me a look that tells me that whatever she’s about to say, I’m not getting out of it easily. “Are you ready to tell me what’s going on?”
“Now?”
She looks around the empty room. Sunlight streams through the window over the sink, reflecting off the spotless counters. You’d never know we actually eat in here. “Do you have something better to do?”
I let out a sigh, then take another breath. “I don’t even know where to begin.”
The story spills out of me, starting with Cally’s arrival last winter, Mike leaving the Bunnies, and Austin and I breaking up, but I leave out losing Homecoming Queen and keying Austin’s car. Looking back, I can see that things were falling apart for Mom and Dad at the same time, which might be why neither of us noticed the other’s life spiraling out of control. I also stop short of telling her about Xavier, but I do mention Drea and confess that most of the other Chain Gang kids aren’t so bad.
She promises to try to be there for me more, and I promise to trust her.
And I’ll try.
We go skiing, but it isn’t the same. The smooth back and forth rhythm across the slopes that used to bring me so much satisfaction is—I hate to say it—a little boring. The chairlift doesn’t carry a hint of foreboding, there’s no challenge in swooshing down the freshly groomed trails, and frankly, I’m a little annoyed at having to carry my poles.
Later, back at home, I break my rule and text Xavier. You’ve ruined me.
I plead the fifth.
I wiggle in my seat. I didn’t think he’d write back so quickly. Went skiing today…
And you missed me?
My heart skips. I have missed him, but I’m not telling him that. …and it was boring.
You can’t see me, but I’m smiling.
Me too. Understatement. I believe the word to describe my smile is beaming. But I’m a little ticked off.
Because I’ve ruined you.
Yep.
So you’re saying you want to go again?
Am I? I suppose I am. And if he’s asking me then… I don’t think you’ve left me any choice.
Still no Eldora?
Is that okay?
My season pass is getting dusty.
Sorry….. maybe after this. I need more practice without witnesses. I realize too late that I basically asked him to go a third time. My hands sweat as I wait for his reply.
You realize people can see you at Echo right?
I laugh. Yessss.
Then that’s cool.
Sweet. Thanks. I do a little dance on my bed. Yes, I’m not supposed to like him and nothing will ever come from this, but there’s nothing wrong with hanging out, right? And we’ll be snowboarding. It’s not like we’re going to dinner or a party or watching movies on my couch—although all of that sounds absolutely wonderful. We’ll be wearing a hundred layers and falling on our asses while I try not to break myself.
I’ll see you Tuesday.
A hundred questions rush to my fingertips—various forms of “Will you really be there?” and “Why weren’t you there last week?”—but I don’t ask. We still barely know each other and he might not be willing to share. See you then.
It’s not until later, when I’m falling asleep, that it occurs to me that he might have brought up the season pass because day passes to ski resorts, especially on the weekends, are expensive. I don’t know his situation, but a lot of kids my age can’t afford to go wherever they want regardless of the price. Should I offer to pay for him? That might get weird, but the sinking feeling in my gut tells me I need to do something.
*****
“Where’s Bruno?” I ask the man standing next to the Chain Gang bus. The other kids linger nearby, staring at the man who’s the complete opposite of Bruno. He’s short and wiry, with a receding hairline and weathered skin that looks like he’s spent most of his time outside. But while he may be half the size of Bruno, energy courses through him like a current, warning people to keep their distance.
“I dunno,” he snarls. “I didn’t ask for his life story, just did what I was told.” He narrows his eyes and scowls at all of us in one glare. “You all could learn a thing or two about that.” He steps away from the open door and points at the bus. “Get a move on.”
I hurry up the steps, take my regular seat, and text Dad. 2 more = 11.
Just once I’d love a response, but Frank Vines doesn’t do courtesy unless it helps him close a deal.
Drea’s not here yet but Heidi takes their usual seat at the back. The jocks sit across from me, Sarah’s behind them, and Laina and Crue take the other back seat. The man scurries up the steps, shuts the door, and starts the engine—and I panic. Xavier’s not here yet. He said he’d be here and I was really looking forward to seeing him, but if New Bruno leaves now he won’t make it. I open my mouth to tell New Bruno to wait when the door opens and Xavier’s black hair appears.
“You’re late,” the man growls.
Xavier looks at his bare wrist. “This says I’m on time.”
The door shuts and the bus lurches forward while Xavier’s still standing at the front. His gaze lands on me and he smiles, sending my heart into overdrive. I smile back, expecting him to slide into the seat behind me, but he pauses next to mine.
“This seat taken?”
I shake my head and he sits next to me. Our thighs bump while he stretches his legs beneath the seat in front of us, and I silently wish for his knee to stay pressed against mine.
“Thought you weren’t going to make it.”
He rolls his eyes at the front of the bus. “That guy knows he can’t leave until the scheduled time.”
New Bruno seems to think he can do whatever he wants. “How was your Thanksgiving?”
He looks surprised
for a second, like he didn’t expect a personal question. “It was nice. My mom always makes too much food. We’ll be eating turkey for weeks.”
Another tradition I’ve never experienced. When you eat dinner at a restaurant, there’s not much in the way of leftovers.
“How about you?” he asks.
I hesitate. I could lie and keep up the appearance that my life is perfect, but since this thing between us isn’t going anywhere, what’s the difference if he knows?
He crosses his arms over his chest, his jaw tight. “You don’t have to tell me.”
I touch his arm, and startle at the contact even though I’m the one who initiated it. His arms are completely solid under his jacket. “No, it’s not that.” I look at my hand, which is still resting on his arm, and set it in my lap. “My parents split up a few weeks ago so it was just me and my mom. We went to the same restaurant as always and it was fine, but it wasn’t the same.”
The hardness in his face disappears. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”
I sigh. “No one does.”
“Not even your friends?”
How much am I willing to tell him? “I’m kind of—cómo se dice?” I steal his phrase from the other day. “Between friends right now.”
A mix of emotions flash across his face. Curiosity, surprise, and something else that makes my stomach flip. “You speak Spanish?”
“If hola and buenas dias count, then sure, I speak Spanish.”
He winks. “It’s a start.” Then his smile fades. “So what’s with your friends?”
“Short version? I drove everyone away and now no one talks to me.” I hold my breath while he digests this. If I were him I’d want nothing to do with the spoiled brat sitting next to me, but he doesn’t switch seats, so maybe I’m okay.
After several excruciating moments, he rubs his hand on his jaw and locks his gaze on mine. “Maybe you need new friends.”
My fingers twitch, wanting to touch that same spot on his jaw. The intensity between us amplifies and I swear the whole bus has to feel what I’m feeling right now. “Is that all?” I ask, my voice softer, hoarser, than before.
He leans toward me and my entire body reacts. My hand inches toward his leg and my shoulders turn so I’m facing him. My gaze bounces from his eyes to his mouth, and he bites the corner of his lip, making my heart pound even harder. His hand touches my knee—no different from when we were snowboarding but so different because now there’s just a thin layer of denim between us. He leans closer and my eyes drift shut. I part my lips, ready, but there’s no soft press of his lips. Instead, his cheek grazes mine and he nuzzles the sensitive skin near my ear.
“Querida, not here.” His warm lips brush my jawbone and I feel like I might burst into flames. He cups my other cheek and meets my eyes.
“O-okay. Right.” I smile as his thumb traces the edge of my lip. “Then you’re gonna have to stop doing that.”
He drops his hand but the intensity in his eyes makes it hard to breathe. How long until I can get this boy alone?
By the time New Bruno parks along the side of yet another littered highway, I’m ready to sprint outside. The cool air and long stretch of highway are exactly what I need to clear my head.
“Wanna be my buddy?”
I turn to find Xavier smiling down at me, a goofy grin on his face. I don’t need to check how the others have paired up to answer him. “Yes.”
We set off in the opposite direction of the Jocks and keep walking until we’re a football-field length away from the others. If it weren’t for the green pinnies, plastic gloves, and garbage bags, I could almost pretend it’s a date. The question about him being in a gang niggles at the back of my mind. If I ask him, then it’s only fair that I tell him my story and I’m not ready for him to know that side of me. Shame isn’t an emotion I’m familiar with. Maybe it’s better if we don’t talk about the past and only worry about the future.
But there’s no future with him, my stupid inner voice reminds me.
Xavier picks up a Barbie car—a silver Corvette with hot pink seats—and turns it over, inspecting it. Black scribbles mar the sides and the front is dented like it was in an actual car accident. “This is my winner.”
“That?”
“Yep.”
“How do you always win? The Jocks were bitching about you the other day.”
“Those whiny babies?” He shakes his head. “I look beneath the surface. This car may not look great but it was well-loved. It’s the things that are beautiful on the outside that are usually messed up on the inside.” He doesn’t look at me while he says it, but it feels like he’s talking about me. Or maybe I’m just projecting my insecurities. “Those guys can only see what’s right in front of them.”
Screw it. It’s not my style to back away from something just because it scares me. Sure, I may not like the answer but it’s better to know now, before anything happens between us. “They said something else about you, too.”
He pauses with his stick halfway through a Styrofoam cup. “And it bothers you?”
I shrug, a casual lift of my shoulder that hides the uncertainty I’m feeling.
He drops the stick and garbage bag and takes a step toward me. “Let me guess. They told you I’m in a gang.” That’s not exactly a denial. His eyes search mine and I fight the urge to look away. Better to know now.
“Something like that.”
“Do you believe them?”
My head shakes from side to side before I can get the words out. “Nothing about you says gang member.” My fingers reach for the tattoo that peeks from the collar of his shirt. His warm skin is a shock and he inhales sharply. I hook a cold finger inside the edge without thinking, just wanting to feel more of him, and his hand covers mine, holding it in place.
“But?”
“No but. Fighting doesn’t equal gang. I know that.”
He slips his fingers through mine and lowers our hands so they’re pressed over his heart. His pulse hammers against his chest. Does he want me to know that I’m affecting him the same way he’s affecting me? “I’m not in a gang. Never was.”
I try not to look relieved, but I am. Who knows why the Jocks said it, but the little I’ve learned about him says he’s a good person. “Me neither.” I smile, hoping to lighten the mood, because if this intensity continues we’re going to end up fifty feet away in the trees.
“This isn’t social hour,” a harsh voice shouts from near the road.
We jump apart, looking completely guilty as New Bruno stalks toward us.
“You’re here because you screwed up, so how about you show some remorse and work instead of flirting with each other.”
“Sorry,” we both say.
“If your bags aren’t full by the end of the shift, I’m not signing your hours.”
My head snaps up. “You can’t do that.”
He sneers, revealing discolored teeth and a black soul. “I can and I will.” He gives me a once over that makes my skin crawl and Xavier steps between us. New Bruno scoffs, a disgusting sound from the back of his throat. “Don’t get all macho on me, hombre. I know why you’re here and it means jack shit to me.”
Xavier stands several inches taller and uses his full height to stare down at New Bruno, but I’m no shrinking wallflower. My shoulders push back and I give him my coldest glare. Everything around us falls silent—the only sounds are the passing cars and birds chirping in the nearby trees—until New Bruno finally breaks the stand-off. “Don’t forget who’s in charge here,” he says before turning and walking away.
We both unleash a flurry of anger.
“Can we report him?”
“Who the hell does he think he is?”
“Can he really dock our hours?”
“What a slimy piece of shit.”
That last one was me.
Xavier reaches for my hand but quickly drops it. “I don’t think he can, but it’s not worth finding out. Guys like that get off on making other people su
ffer.”
I bite my tongue. What can I say to that? That I’m the same way? Or at least I was until a month ago when people stopped caring what I did.
“Don’t let him get to you,” he says, and I choose to let him think that’s what’s bothering me.
“I don’t think New Bruno’s gonna do show and tell.”
“New Bruno?”
I spear a paper bag from a fast-food chain. “You don’t give people nicknames?”
He shakes his head and laughs.
“He didn’t introduce himself and I had to call him something in my head.”
He seems to consider that. “So what did you call me?”
Hottie McHotterson.
His hip grazes mine. “You’re blushing.”
“It’s not a big deal.”
His smile broadens. “Now I have to know.”
I duck my head so he can’t see my eyes. “Mystery Boy.”
“Hmm. I like it.” He moves toward a plastic bag and I fall in step beside him. “So you like mysterious?”
“Predictable is boring.”
He gives me a devilish look and I have to remind myself that nothing can happen with him. Even if everything about him makes me want to throw away the rules, consequences be damned. “You still want to board this weekend?” he asks.
“If you’re free.”
He holds my gaze so long that I swear he can read my mind. “I am.”
Time ticks away and we still haven’t filled our bags. For the first time in my life I’m worried there isn’t enough litter. “You’re sure he can’t penalize us?”
“We’ll figure something out.”
But the grass around us has been picked clean. I’m starting to think we’ll have to borrow trash from the other kids when Xavier points at a lump of plastic half buried in leaves.
“It’s not a dead body, is it?”
He raises an eyebrow at me. “This isn’t where they dump bodies.” My jaw drops and he laughs. “I’m kidding, querida. But you should have seen your face.”
But I’m not thinking about the joke. Querida. I don’t know what it means but it sounds like a promise. A dark, sexy, promise of what’s to come.
New Bruno doesn’t ask us about our favorite find and he barely looks at our bags. Xavier sits next to me again and as his leg settles against mine, it occurs to me that I never texted Drea. “I meant to ask Drea why she wasn’t here.”
The Edge Rules (The Rules Series Book 3) Page 12