“It’s nice to meet you, Mrs.— ” And that’s when I realize I don’t know Xavier’s last name. But she cuts me off before the moment gets awkward.
“Please, call me Anna.” Her warm smile pulls me in and I understand where Xavier gets his charm. Her accent is distinct, but she speaks perfect English.
And the fact that I’m surprised proves what a prejudiced bitch I am.
Her gaze bounces between the two of us. “Xavi didn’t tell me how you met.”
“Snowboarding,” we both say, and I can’t help but laugh.
“Technically I was skiing, but he convinced me to try boarding.”
She smirks. “I’m not surprised. This boy could charm the last dollar from a homeless man.”
Or the pants off a teenaged girl. Almost like he read my thoughts, his hand covers mine.
“I hate to see people waste their time with all that equipment. Boarding is so much freer.” This is the first time he’s said that to me, and I wonder how much of it’s for his mom’s benefit and how much is true.
“So you don’t go to school together?” When I shake my head, she continues. “Where do you live?”
My mouth opens to tell her and I’m surprised by the lump that catches in my throat and the tears that blur my vision. She looks concerned and Xavier squeezes my hand.
“She’s not far from here, in Louisville, but they’re moving soon.”
I clear my throat. “Still in the same general area, but yeah, our house is already sold.”
Anna looks around the room and her eyes water. “I couldn’t imagine having to leave our home, especially so close to the holidays.” Even though she’s sitting ten feet away, her easy nature makes me want to tell her the whole story. About Dad and The Seconds and everything else that’s screwed up in my life. But I bite my lip and force a smile.
“I’m not super thrilled about it, but at least I don’t have to switch schools.” Although now that I think about it, maybe that wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.
“Xavi, you have friends from that area, right?”
“Yeah.” He faces me, and I can feel the blood drain from my face.
This is it.
The moment he finds out the truth.
“You’re at Monarch?”
My mouth goes dry, like all the moisture in my body evaporated in a poof above me, and my head feels like it’s detached from my body. I nod.
“Do you know Blake and Cally? They’re friends with Luke, the guy we saw when—” a blush touches his cheeks as he remembers what we were doing when we saw Luke. “When we were boarding.”
I nod again, and it’s like everything moves in slow motion. The curiosity in Xavier’s eyes, the way Anna leans forward in her chair like she can’t wait to hear what I say—it’s all too much. My breathing stops and blood roars in my ears. I don’t want him to know. I’ve tried so hard to be a better person and it’s sucked not having friends and now that I’ve found someone who looks at me the way he’s looking at me now, I don’t want to ruin it.
“They go to my school,” I finally say, “but we’re not friends or anything.”
Understatement of the year.
And I’ve got a picture of Cally’s dad in my phone.
He nods, accepting my statement like there isn’t an avalanche of truth ready to bury him.
Anna asks me about school and my interests, and I must answer well because she keeps smiling and Xavier never lets go of my hand. But all I can think is it’s not a question of if this will blow up in my face, but when.
Eventually Anna stands, stretching her arms over her head. The hem of her shirt lifts over the top of her jeans, revealing a small tattoo on her side. She could not be more unlike my mother. She holds out her hand to shake mine, but this time I stand and press my cheek to hers.
“It was very nice to meet you,” I say, and I mean it. It’s usually hit or miss with friends’ parents, but she’s like something out of a fairy tale.
“I like you,” she says. “You seem like a good influence for Xavi.” She winks at him over my shoulder. “Not that he needs it, right?”
“Yes, ’ama.” He doesn’t normally have an accent, but it comes out on that one word.
Then her arms are pulling me to her and we’re hugging and a tiny part of me wishes it could stay like this forever.
But too soon I have to leave. Xavier walks me to my car, where we share another toe-curling kiss. I open the door and get in, but he stands in the opening so I can’t close it.
“Are we still boarding this weekend?” His lips are swollen from our kiss and his gaze bounces from my eyes to my mouth.
I touch my fingers to his lower lip, and he kisses them. “Yes. Of course.”
“But can we go to Eldora? I have a season pass there and—”
“Yes, of course,” I repeat, because those are the only words I’m capable of forming. I can’t keep insisting we go someplace else when we both have season passes, but that means the end to my secret. Unless… “Is Saturday good?” The ski team competes Saturdays so while we’ll see other kids from school, Blake and Cally won’t be there.
“Sure.” He leans into the car and kisses me again, and I hold on like it’s the last time he’ll touch me like this.
Because I’m afraid it might be.
My stomach’s in knots when I pull into the Eldora parking lot. Xavier offered to pick me up, but I don’t want to end up stranded if he finds out the truth today. Not that I think he would abandon me, but discovering the girl you like is an evil monster does weird things to people.
He’s already in the common area where people dump their street shoes, and I don’t know how it’s possible to look delicious under forty layers, but he does. We meet near a bench but pause before touching. There’s easily twenty people in various stages of putting on ski boots and bundling up against the cold, and they probably wouldn’t appreciate us making out in the middle of the room. He grabs my hand and that slight press of his skin against mine makes my insides flutter. We head to the rental counter and this time I check the box for intermediate.
He quirks an eyebrow and I laugh. “There’s more than one way to get better equipment. Besides, I know enough not to run into anything, right?”
He winks. “More or less.”
Once we’re suited up, I lead him to the lift for my favorite blue. So far we haven’t seen anyone from school, but the sun’s shining and the snow is perfect, so it’s only a matter of time before half the student body shows up. My goggles and helmet do a decent job at concealing my identity—or at least it works for Superman—and as long as I don’t talk to anyone I should be safe.
“You know,” he says, twisting on the narrow bench so he’s facing me. “I was beginning to think you didn’t want to be seen with me.”
My stomach leaps into my throat. That’s partially true, but not for the reasons he thinks. At least, they aren’t anymore. At first I was afraid of what people would think if they saw us together—especially if they saw me snowboarding instead of skiing—but all that seems stupid now. I reach for his hand. “How could anyone not want to be seen with you? Have you seen you?” His eyes close briefly and the corner of his mouth curls into a smile. “No, I didn’t want the people I’ve known my entire life watching me fall all over my ass while I learn how to board.”
He points at two guys splayed on the snow beneath us. “Like that?”
I nod.
“Do you remember what I was doing when we saw each other here?”
“You had just wiped out.”
“Everyone falls.” He nods as another boarder catches an edge and face-plants. “The trick is getting back on your feet and trying again.”
“You make it sound so simple.”
“It is. It might hurt like a bitch, especially if you go face first like that guy—”
“And like I did the first day.”
“—but we’ve all been there. If anyone laughs at you for wiping out, that’s on them
.”
I couldn’t tell you how many times I’ve made fun of people who wipe out. When I ski, I don’t fall. Period. My only priorities were to look good and stay in control. That was fun to me. I shake my head, and Xavier tilts his in confusion. “I’m really glad I met you.”
He smiles, but still looks confused.
“I didn’t realize how tightly I was holding onto this need to be in control. But you’ve showed me that it’s okay to let go a little.”
His smile brightens and he leans forward until our helmets clink together. “I’m glad you met me, too.” I turn my face to kiss him. Between our helmets and goggles, our lips barely brush, but it’s enough.
When we get to the top of the lift, my nerves return in full force. My board hits the packed snow and with a single push, I put my weight on it. We coast down the ramp and off to the side, and I laugh. “I’m totally an intermediate.”
Xavier gives me a soft smile.
He leads on the first run and I’m concentrating so hard on keeping my balance and not catching an edge that I don’t see the pack of boarders flying down the center of the run until they’re right next to me, whooping and yelling. My balance wobbles, and the next thing I know I’m flat on my back. My brain feels like it’s still bouncing around inside my helmet and stars dance in the bright blue sky. Silence wraps around me and for a moment I think I’ve knocked my brain loose, then I hear Xavier’s voice from farther down the hill.
I push myself up, focusing on the nearby tree line to stop my head from spinning. By the time Xavier reaches my side, his board tucked under his arm, the pounding in my head dulls to a steady throb and the stars have faded.
He kneels by my side and touches my face. “You okay?”
“I need another minute.” He plops next to me as skiers and boarders ride by. “That’s what I get for bragging.”
He bumps my knee with his. “Did you already forget what we talked about?” His eyes are steady on mine and a warmth spreads inside me. But this isn’t the lust-crazed heat I usually feel when I’m around him. This is so strong it makes my heart hurt.
I brush snow off my pants and pop onto my feet.
Edge Rule #10: It’s not how hard you fall, it’s how you pick yourself up afterwards.
I manage to stay on my feet the next couple runs, and when he suggests we head inside to warm up, I feel like I’m floating. Who would’ve thought I’d love snowboarding? It’s still scary knowing one wrong shift of my weight could land me on my face, but I’m figuring out how to use my core in a way that’s totally unlike skiing.
We lock our gear to an outdoor rack and head inside. And that’s where my mood pops. Everywhere I turn, familiar faces are laughing and talking. For a second, anger and sadness twist in my gut because no one turns when we enter the room. A few glance our way, but they return to their conversations just as quickly. My reign as Queen B is definitely over.
Xavier grabs my hand and leads me to a couple open seats at the end of a long table. Last season, people would have switched seats to let me have a small table—or at least clear out a bigger space so we wouldn’t be crammed together—but aside from a couple double-takes, no one seems to care that I’m here.
Except one person near the window.
I meet Mike’s gaze. Her eyes flick from my very un-pink clothes to Xavier, and settle on my boots. My mouth curls into a smile before I can stop it, and she smiles back before turning to the hottie sitting next to her. Aside from one picture of them riding their bikes, she hasn’t posted anything of him online.
But the same could be said for me. Xavier and I are clearly together but aside from Drea, no one knows he exists.
“Is this okay?” Xavier asks. “I can go grab drinks if you want to wait here.”
Here, as in the center of the room. Where I’ve wanted to be my entire life, but for the first time find myself wishing we were anywhere else. And not because I don’t want people to see Xavier. Any hang-ups I had about him are gone. No, I’m not ready for the scrutiny that’s sure to happen when my classmates realize how much I’ve changed.
Xavier ducks his head to look in my eyes. “Is something wrong?”
“No.” I shake my head. “No. I just saw a friend—former friend—and kind of spaced out for a minute.” I smile up at him and his face relaxes. “This is great.”
He kisses the tip of my nose. “Be back soon.”
There isn’t much room at the table, just two chairs and a space wide enough for a couple trays, so I dump my gloves on the table and sit before pulling off my helmet. If I shake my head, my hair will fall in waves down my back, but I’m not feeling the supermodel-in-a-shampoo-commercial vibe right now. Instead I set my helmet on top of my gloves and run my fingers through my hair, doing my best to not draw attention to myself.
But people still notice me. The double-takes from before become open stares, and this time Mike smiles at me. I’m tempted to go to her and meet her boyfriend, but I feel frozen in place with my fingers still tangled in my hair. Kids I’ve known most of my life give me questioning looks, but how do I explain everything that’s led to this moment—to the changes I’m making—with just one look? I’d need to take out an ad in the school paper to fully explain myself. So I return their curious glances with smiles and try to relax while I wait for Xavier to return.
When he does, it’s like everyone else blurs away. He sets a tray loaded with hot chocolate and sports drinks and a couple granola bars between us, then pulls off his helmet and sits next to me. His face is flushed from being bundled up inside and I can’t stop myself from touching his cheek. He turns his head so his lips press my palm, and now I’m wishing we had a more private table for other reasons.
“Do you see anyone you know?” he asks.
Only half my school. I nod. “I’ve gotten a few looks, but no one seems to care.”
“That’s because you’ve finally left the dark side.”
I raise an eyebrow. He can’t know how true that statement is.
“You know boarding is where it’s at.”
“I hate to admit it, but you’ve convinced me. But I’m still not used to knocking the snot out of myself.” I touch the back of my head. The helmet did its job, but the after-effects of the fall are still lingering.
He leans closer and weaves his fingers through my hair until he touches the tender spot. “Do you want to stop?”
I press into his touch. “I don’t ever want you to stop.”
He laughs softly, his eyes on mine. “I meant snowboarding.”
“I know. I didn’t.” We lean closer until our lips meet. His are soft and warm and he tastes like chocolate. When this falls apart, he’ll have ruined hot chocolate for me because I’ll never be able to drink it without thinking of him.
He pulls away and leans back in his seat. “Seriously. You fell pretty hard. We can stop if you need to.”
“Nah. But if I fall like that again I’ll consider it.”
We settle in with our drinks and are eating our granola bars when the energy in the room shifts. Heads swivel from the entrance to me, back and forth, and I’m almost afraid to look.
But I don’t need to.
“I wondered if you’d ever show your face here again.” Kenzie’s voice is loud and clear and demands attention. The attention I used to get.
I twist in my seat to stare her down. Three girls stand behind her, each wearing an upgraded version of our outfits from last year. The colors are still bright, but instead of being a solid color, stripes race down the sides. A tiny part of me is pleased that no one’s wearing my pink, but that pleasure bursts as soon as I meet Kenzie’s glare.
Xavier tenses next to me, but he’ll figure things out soon enough.
My shoulders straighten on their own. Anger uncoils in me like a dragon that’s been asleep for far too long. I don’t stand, and I give her a bored look, complete with an eye roll that’d make any aspiring bitch jealous. “You’ve found your very own lemmings. How sweet.”
That’s a flat-out lie. I know her type and she’s probably drooling on the inside. “Jealousy doesn’t suit you.”
“I was about to say the same thing.”
“Typical, since you’ve never come up with an original thought of your own.” I push my hair over my shoulder and rest my hand on Xavier’s thigh. “Now run along with your second-hand bunnies and leave us alone.” A slight tremor moves through me, but I tell myself it’s because of how close Xavier is sitting, not because of the fury in Kenzie’s eyes. There’s nothing else she can do to hurt me.
So why am I so unsettled?
Kenzie stalks away, her girls trailing close behind, and I face Xavier. “Sorry.”
“What the hell was that? WHO the hell was that?”
“Former BFF.”
He looks across the room to where Kenzie and her minions have crowded in with several seniors. “You were friends with her?”
“I was the leader.” The words slip out before I can stop them. “The blond by the window was my actual best friend.”
He scans the room until he sees Mike, who’s watching us between sips of water, and it occurs to me that they may already know each other through Cally and Blake. But he doesn’t seem to recognize her. He stays silent, watching me like he wants to say something. With each passing moment I grow more and more anxious that he’s making a decision about me—one that I can’t talk my way out of.
“Is this why you didn’t want to come here?”
“Pretty much.” I take a deep breath to calm myself. “Now that she had her little power trip, it should be over.” At least it better be.
“I feel like there’s more you’re not telling me.”
Because there is. “I told you I’m not friends with them anymore.”
“Yeah, but I figured you grew apart or something like that.”
“Something like that,” I repeat his words, my energy draining. My hand is still on his leg and I slide it over his waterproof pants. “There’s more to the story, but this isn’t the place.”
The Edge Rules (The Rules Series Book 3) Page 22