“The hymn ‘Trust and Obey’ was written for D. L. Moody to use in his preaching. He once said, ‘The Word of God alone makes us sure. Obedience to God makes us happy.’ If we want to be happy, sure and safe, seems we have to turn things over to God and let Him take care of them. He has promised to meet our every need.”
Did he detect a catch in her words? “Don’t you struggle to believe that?”
“Every day. But I constantly choose to trust and obey to the best of my ability. Of course, I fail badly and often, but that’s my human frailness.”
He laughed. “I’m beginning to think you are anything but frail.”
She tilted her head and considered him. “Why do you say that?”
“Because I’ve seen you in action. Once you take up a cause, I think you will fight for it until the end.”
She grinned. “I do believe you’re right. Sally says it’s because I had to fight to get well.”
“It’s made you—tough isn’t the right word.” He tapped his finger against his chin. “Steel disguised as china.”
Her mouth dropped open. Her eyes grew dark. And she stared.
“Don’t look so surprised.”
“But I am. And I’m trying to decide if I’m flattered or not.”
“It’s not an idle compliment. It’s simply an observation.”
They turned back toward town.
“I will try and live up to your evaluation of me.” She lifted her chin and squared her shoulders.
“It wasn’t meant as a challenge, you know. You aren’t going to do something foolish, are you?” He’d seen how stubborn foolishness could lead to disaster. He’d seen the runaway wagon coming. Called Jane. Warned her to get out of the road. But Jane waved away his warning. She had her mind set on getting something from their own wagon and would not move until she was done. Jane was like that. “I don’t want my words to influence you to take silly chances.”
She grinned. “Emmet, I value my life and my health too much to do anything to jeopardize it. However, there are other challenges I can face that don’t carry any risk.”
He caught her by the shoulder. “Are you talking about Ellie? Because if you think this is a battle you must win—”
She shook her head and patted his shoulder. “Emmet, I am far more interested in winning her favor and helping her than I am in proving I am more stubborn.” She grinned. “Though I probably am. But I like to think I am wise enough to pick my battles.” She sucked in air as if readying herself to face a challenge. “No, the battle I am prepared to win is one with myself.”
She marched onward.
He stared after her.
She called over her shoulder. “Aren’t you coming?”
He rushed to catch up. “You can be very unsettling at times. Just when I think we understand each other, you shift gears.”
Her chuckle rang out. “Don’t worry about it, Emmet. It doesn’t concern you. We have a job to do—get Ellie to learn her lessons.”
Emmet faced straight ahead and wished they hadn’t gone so far from town. She might as well have slapped him in the face and stomped on his toe, her message was so clear. Her only interest in Emmet was teaching his daughter.
Well, wasn’t that all he wanted too?
Of course it was. He’d let the warm air and the nice sunset sidetrack his thoughts only momentarily. He ought to thank her for her timely reminder. Instead he pointed toward a robin singing on the branch of a thin poplar tree.
She paused to listen. “You ever notice how birds sing no matter what their circumstances? If it’s windy, they hang on and sing. If it’s hot, they chirp more merrily. If it rains—and don’t we wish it would?—they ignore it and sing anyway. I think God created them as a lesson for us.”
“Sing anyway?”
“Yes. Don’t you think that’s a good plan?” She smiled at him, oblivious to the fact he had pulled his emotions back behind bars, where they belonged.
“I guess it’s a good idea. But for me, I have an even better one—take care of Ellie no matter what.”
She studied him. “I think you can do both at the same time. And what better thing to teach Ellie? Sing anyway.”
They reached town where, in front of three houses, the residents sat on their porches. They called a greeting, and Emmet and Louisa returned with their own.
Then they made their way back home and stood by Louisa’s car. “Thanks for coming,” Emmet said. It had been an interesting evening.
“Thanks for the walk. It was nice.” She climbed into the car and, ignoring the banging and coughing, waved goodbye. “See you in the morning.”
He watched until the cloud of dust blocked her from view. “Tomorrow,” he whispered. “When we make learning fun for Ellie.”
Ellie. She was his only concern.
Then why, as he prepared for bed, were the things Louisa said filling his thoughts? Along with the way her face had glowed with serenity. But of course, it was easy for her to be content with life. She’d overcome her illnesses and was now as healthy as anyone. No wonder she could sing so readily.
Life was not so simple for him.
But he dug through his belongings and found his award Bible. He had neglected it far too long. Had let his faith grow dim. It was time to look for the peace Louisa revealed.
Chapter Six
Louisa banged her hand against the steering wheel. She shouldn’t have agreed to go out walking with Emmet. But it seemed he was as lonely as she. Then she had asked personal questions. Given personal information. “Professional,” she muttered. “A job.” But every minute spent anywhere near him made her acutely aware of emptiness in her heart that ached for—
“Enough.” She could have none of the things she ached for. “Sing anyway.” Silly thing to say. No wonder he looked as if she’d gone crazy. But she’d only wanted him to understand the peace and contentment that was found in trusting God despite difficult things. He could experience it too if he chose. And even more important—she determinedly pulled her thoughts back to the only thing that mattered…helping Ellie. Emmet could teach her to be happy in her present circumstances. A lesson that would be invaluable as she grew older.
Mother waited for her. Beyond her, Sally roamed about the kitchen.
“Sorry I’m so late.”
“I don’t like you going out in the evening. You must take care of yourself.” Mother’s face twisted with concern.
Louisa hugged her mother. “I didn’t do anything that would cause me a problem.” Though she’d come perilously close to letting her heart consider Emmet as more than the parent of a child she was tutoring.
Sally waited until Mother went to her room. “Were you planning lessons all this time?”
“We went for a walk.”
Sally squealed. “I’m so glad to hear that.”
“No reason you should be.”
“I like to think my big sister is finally allowing herself to look at a man in that way.” She batted her eyelashes and looked dreamy.
“I am not. I cannot. I will not.”
“Oh, Louisa, there’s absolutely no reason you can’t.”
“Sally, it would not be fair.”
“Not all men want—”
“Emmet has already said he regrets not having more children. Says he hated being an only child growing up.” She didn’t say anything more. She admired him for his devoted love to Ellie, reminding her as it did of her father. But her only association with him would be as Ellie’s tutor. She must guard her heart. Otherwise…
But as she lay on her bed, recounting the little walk and the things he said, she recalled he asked what there was to do. Poor man. He must feel housebound. Someone should invite him out. Seems he could leave Ellie with Auntie May in the evenings after she’d gone to sleep.
Perhaps the Morgan girls could do something. She’d noticed that Judd and Emmet were already acquainted. She’d talk to Madge and see what—
Stop. It was not her responsibility to plan a s
ocial life for him. Her job was to be his child’s tutor. She’d do well to brand that on a slab of wood and nail it across her wayward thoughts.
The next morning Louisa had her resolve firmly in place as she stepped into the Hamilton home. She tucked the satchel under her arm and held it tight to her body. The sound of Emmet’s voice came from Ellie’s room, and Louisa headed across the floor.
Auntie May sat at the table mixing up a dreadful-looking concoction. Louisa tried not to look disturbed by the glutinous brown mixture.
Auntie May laughed. “It’s for old Stormy. She can’t eat regular food anymore, poor thing. But she is so sweet and gentle, I don’t mind fixing her something special. Yes, you are a regular sweetheart, you are.” She crooned to the ragged black cat on her lap then grinned at Louisa. “Just an old woman with old friends. They’re waiting for you.” She tipped her head toward the doorway, and Louisa understood she meant Emmet and Ellie, not the friends of Louisa’s future—old cats.
Louisa closed her eyes to shut out the sight of Auntie May, and vowed she would find some other way to fill the lonely hours of her life. She would not become reclusive and odd.
“You’re just what that pair in there needs.”
Louisa jerked her eyes open and stared at the older woman. “Me? What on earth do you mean?” She wasn’t what any man needed, and it seemed she couldn’t even tutor a child.
“They’re stuck in a narrow place without realizing it. They need rescuing more than they know.”
“I’m prepared to do my best to help Ellie with her lessons.” She didn’t know if that was what Auntie May meant or not. Moreover, she didn’t care to find out, so she hurried into Ellie’s room.
Emmet stood at her entrance. He smiled. Her heart lifted in response, and her answering smile was so wide it stretched the skin of her cheeks. His eyes flashed pure blue. She knew that meant he was pleased. Pleased to see her? More likely, pleased to think of getting Ellie on track with her lessons. This was only a job for both of them. She knew that.
She shifted her gaze toward Ellie and caught a flash of defiance. The child was as unwelcoming as Emmet was welcoming. It promised to be another challenging day. Steel disguised as china, Emmet had said. She’d assured him she chose her battles carefully and vowed this would not be a battle zone.
“Good morning,” she said. “Did you notice how loudly the birds are singing this morning?”
“Sing anyway?” Emmet’s quiet voice reminded her of their conversation last night and reignited all the feelings she had firmly squelched. She battled them back into submission.
“Shall we begin?”
Emmet nodded, and as they had discussed, he spoke to Ellie. “El, I don’t want you to fall behind in your schoolwork, so I’m going to assist Miss Morgan with your studies.”
“How you gonna do that?”
“I’m going to help her teach.”
“You’re not a teacher. You’re my dad.” With each word, resistance grew clearer.
“Moms and dads help with homework, don’t they?”
She nodded reluctantly.
“That’s what I’m going to do. Help you.”
“What about her?” Ellie clearly thought Louisa wasn’t needed.
For a moment, Louisa thought the same thing. Emmet could do this on his own. But she’d been hired to do a job, and she would do it if at all possible.
Emmet chuckled. “I don’t think I’d be a very good teacher on my own.” The way he looked at Louisa—his eyes blue and smiling, his gaze shining with approval—threatened to destroy the locks on her heart.
She sucked in a steadying breath. “Your father and I are going to work together.”
The look Ellie gave Louisa was far from welcoming, but it disappeared instantly as she favored her father with a wide smile. “I guess that means you’re going to stay here.”
“For now.”
Louisa caught the tiny note of caution. Did he sense that Ellie had manipulated him into this? Not that she could have guessed it would turn out this way.
Ellie sent a look at Louisa that warned she would be happy when Louisa was gone and she had her father to herself.
Louisa returned the look, silently informing the child she could not drive Louisa away against her will. She was discovering more steel in her core than she had ever been aware of.
She and Emmet had decided to start by repeating the failed history lesson, so while she opened the picture book of the history of the North-West Mounted Police, Emmet edged his chair closer to the bed so he could study along with Ellie.
Louisa opened the book and began her story.
Ellie interrupted. “You did that yesterday.”
“Do you remember it then?” She would be surprised if Ellie heard more than a word or two.
“Of course I do.”
“Then here is your assignment.” She repeated the instructions as Emmet adjusted the bed tray.
His attention on his task, he likely did not see the look of raw defiance on Ellie’s face. Louisa understood the child’s quandary. She didn’t want to cooperate with Louisa but also didn’t want her father to guess at the little game she’d been playing. As soon as Emmet finished, Ellie smiled sweetly. “Will you help me, Daddy?”
“Of course.”
Louisa considered it a victory—at least Ellie was doing schoolwork, even if she was getting Emmet to write the answers for her. Ellie’s knowledge of the subject surprised her. The child had taken in far more than she would have guessed possible.
“Do you want to draw a picture too?” Emmet asked.
“I can’t draw.”
“I expect you can draw as well as I can. Look.” He scratched away on the paper.
Ellie giggled. “What is that?”
“Horses. I can’t believe you had to ask.” He turned the picture toward Louisa. “It’s pretty obvious, wouldn’t you say?”
Louisa pressed her lips together to stop a burst of laughter and tried to give the drawing serious consideration. But it was impossible. She’d never seen such awkward-looking animals. “They have such short legs…and long square bodies.”
Ellie rolled her eyes. “They look like boxes on sticks.”
Louisa couldn’t contain her amusement any longer and laughed aloud.
“I did my best.” Emmet tried to sound offended, but he laughed too.
Ellie stared from her father to Louisa, fought a battle with her resistance but a giggle escaped. She giggled until tears rolled down her face.
Emmet stared at her and pretended concern. “Don’t cry, Button. It’s only a picture.”
Ellie giggled harder.
Auntie May appeared in the doorway. “Now that’s a sound I can live with.”
Louisa sucked in air that went deep into her lungs, refreshing, renewing. “That felt great. Like the Bible says, ‘A merry heart doeth good like a medicine.’”
Emmet sobered, though his eyes continued to brim with laughter. He grabbed a hankie and wiped Ellie’s eyes. “Are you going to be okay? Should I call the doctor?” He donned a serious expression. “‘Miss Polly had a dolly that was sick, sick, sick, so she called for the doctor to come quick, quick, quick.’” He sang the words in a gruff voice.
Ellie giggled. “Daddy, you’re silly.”
Louisa’s knees felt like strings of unbaked bread dough. She gripped the blackboard easel, hoping it was strong enough to bear her weight. The sounds of a child giggling and a father singing as the warmth of the sun puddled across the quilt on the bed were heartbreaking to her. The only thing in the scene she could look forward to in the future was the quilt. Perhaps she would make quilts to distribute to the less fortunate. But the ache inside her screamed against making them for others. She wanted to make them for her own family. Her own children.
She struggled for control. Please God, hold me up. And she meant more than her weak knees. She meant the future, the present, this moment of watching father and child.
When she could speak wit
hout revealing her tyrant emotions, she suggested Emmet should do the arithmetic lesson.
Looking uncertain, he wrote half a dozen simple problems on the board. Louisa stood to one side, although she longed to sink to the chair at Ellie’s bedside.
Emmet read the first problem. “One plus one? This is way too easy. Ellie knew this before she started school.”
“Two.” Ellie’s answer was brisk.
Emmet grinned. “One plus two?”
On and on they went, Ellie suddenly remembering things that only yesterday she couldn’t.
“Do I get recess?” Ellie asked when Emmet declared arithmetic over.
“I think you deserve it.”
She eyed the parcel on the table. “Can I open it?”
Louisa shook her head. “Not until we’re done.”
Ellie screwed up her face, ready to protest.
Emmet opened his mouth. But Louisa didn’t give him a chance to voice his objection.
“I remember you said you like playing hide-and-seek. Do you want to play the game during your recess?”
Ellie snorted. “I can’t hide.”
“You could if you were no bigger than a button.”
Ellie looked intrigued, as did Emmet, although Louisa did her best to avoid looking directly at him. Still it was hard to ignore his presence in the room. The place was so crowded, he couldn’t return to the chair without brushing her shoulder in passing. Her heart clamored to her ribs and hung on as if drowning. Which perfectly described how she felt—drowning in her own foolish emotions.
She forced her mind back to explaining the game. “You pretend you are the size of a button. You can hide anywhere in this room, and we have to find you. You can give clues by saying warmer or colder. I’ll go first to show you.” She glanced around the room, being careful not to pause in any one spot and give away her hiding place. “Okay, I’m ready. Come find me.”
“Are you in that jug?”
“Cold as ice.”
Soon both Emmet and Ellie were guessing.
“Warm. Warmer.” They drew close to her hiding place, which was on the tray over the bed.
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