“No. You’ll just piss it off,” Tay said. “If he saved Wila’s life repeatedly, I doubt he’ll end it now, but I’d like to stay, just in case.”
Was it a good idea to be almost alone with Tay with our emotions so raw and the attraction still burning? Probably not. But turning him down would be like taking the first step toward the possibility that we couldn’t be just friends. And that wasn’t something either of us wanted.
I squeezed his hand. “Thanks, Tay. You can take the spare room on my floor.”
Tay’s shoulders relaxed. Had he been worrying about the same stuff? Had he thought I’d turn him down?
“In that case, I’ll see you tomorrow night,” Noir said. He looked from Tay to me with a tight smile.
“Me too,” Mack said. He fist-bumped Tay and then headed out of the kitchen. Noir made to follow, but I snagged his elbow.
“Hey, can I get a quick word.” I shot Tay an apologetic smile. “I’ll be with you in a second.”
“I’ll check on your newest house guest.” Tay exited the kitchen, leaving me alone with the semi-clothed Noir.
Noir stood with his arms loosely at his sides. His toned torso was more athletic than bulky and his PJ bottoms hung low on his hips, exposing the tantalizing V leading down to his man goods. Eyes up, Wila. His sharp, inquisitive features seemed softer in the buttery overhead lights of the kitchen, giving him an unguarded look.
God, why did I have to be the bearer of crappy news?
“I met your daughter today.” Okay, blunt, but heck, what was the point in beating around the bush?
He tensed. “You did?”
“Yes, and I’m pretty certain she knows you’re her dad.”
He slow-blinked. “Explain.”
I filled him in on the bullying, my smack down on it, and then Amber’s parting words and the conspiratorial look in her eyes.
He puffed out his cheeks and blew out a breath. “I didn’t realize I was causing her distress. And you think she knows. Dammit. What do I do?”
“If there really is no way for you to claim her, then you need to cut ties. You’re putting her in danger. If she tells anyone who she is, then she’s as good as dead.”
He nodded. “If I stop going to see her, she’ll believe that she was mistaken.”
“Possibly. It’s your only option.”
His mouth turned down, and he ran a hand roughly over his face. “I wanted to know her. I needed to just be there.” His voice cracked, and he cleared his throat.
Okay, so I had plenty of other stuff on my overflowing plate, but … “Look, I can check in on her once in a while, if you’d like. Drop you a report?”
He looked up in surprise. “You’d do that for me?”
The incredulous look on his face made my chest ache with guilt for any reluctance I’d just felt. “We’re friends, right? And that’s what friends do.”
The corner of his mouth lifted. “Yes, Miss Bastion, we are, and they do. Thank you.” He reached out to brush a tendril of hair off my cheek as if it was the most natural thing in the world. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
I trailed him into the hallway. “Hey, don’t you think you should start calling me Wila, now that we’re friends?”
“Why rock the status quo?” He gripped the door handle and then vanished.
Well, at least he was abiding by the leave-by-the-door rule. Trevor trotted down the stairs, nose twitching.
“Hey, Trevor.”
“Um, Wila. Why can I smell dog?”
“Have you bathed recently?”
If he could have arched a brow, he probably would have. “Wila, what aren’t you telling me?”
I winced. “Look, don’t freak out, but remember that hound I told you about? The one that saved my life?”
He sniffed again. “No. Oh, no you didn’t.”
I winced. “Yeah, I kinda did.”
Trevor shot up the stairs again, his body quivering. “Where is it? Where?”
“Calm down. It’s in the lounge, and it’s out cold. It won’t hurt you.” At least I didn’t think it would. “On second thought, maybe stay on the second floor until I have a chance to assess the situation fully.”
His tiny body shook, whether in indignation or fear, I wasn’t too sure. “This is our home. It’s meant to be safe, dammit.”
Guilt rocked my stomach. “I’m sorry. I promise if there’s any sign of him being dangerous, I’ll get rid of him. You know I’d never let anything hurt you, right? Not if I can help it.” I climbed the steps and crouched by him. “We’re family, Trev.”
He lifted his pointy chin, his left eye twitched, and he sniffed. “That’s low, Bastion, using the F word. Seriously.” He turned his back on me and stalked up the stairs.
“Wila?” Tay called. “Someone’s waking up.”
Shit. I ran toward the lounge, coming to a halt in the doorway. Tay had wisely backed up too, putting himself between me and the hound. I caught a glimpse of its head around Tay’s enormous bicep. The gleam of amber eyes as it swung its nose our way had my feet rooted to the spot, and then a low growl teased goosebumps to life across my skin. It backed up and then fell into a crouch.
No, it wouldn’t attack. It had saved me. What was it doing? Shit. It was probably confused, scared. And all it could see was Taylem.
“Tay, you need to move. It needs to see me.”
“Like fuck.”
“Fucking hell, Tay, move!” I shoved, but the guy was a tank. “Dammit, Tay, trust me. It needs to know I’m okay, that this is a safe place. It needs to see me.”
The hound’s growl intensified into a threatening rumble, and with a curse, Tay stepped aside.
I slipped in front of him and held up my hands. “Hey. Hi. It’s me, the neph you saved. Remember me?”
Its glowing eyes fixed on me, and his upper lip, which was curled in a snarl, dropped back over its teeth.
“Yeah. That’s right. You saved my arse, and you got knocked out, but it’s all good now. I brought you home with me. You can stay if you like.”
A low rumble.
“Or not.” I pointed to the French doors we’d used to get him into the house. “I can open those for you if you want to leave.”
The hound studied me for a long beat, and then its huge body relaxed and unknotted. It dropped to the ground, laid its head on its front paws, and closed its eyes.
Okay, stay it was. I tapped Tay’s elbow and then backed out of the room before sliding the doors shut and leaning back against them.
“I guess it wants to stay.”
Tay studied me from beneath dark brows. “He. It’s a he, and I’m not leaving you with him. Not yet.”
I cracked a smile. “Wasn’t expecting you to, big guy. But don’t whine and moan that the bed’s too small.”
Tay snorted. “I can handle a single bed.”
“Oh, the bed is a queen, but I know how you like to spread out.” His eyes darkened, and shit, could I fit any more feet in my mouth? “Forget I said that.”
He sighed. “Not that easy, Wil.”
Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea—him staying over, under the same roof with just a wall between us. My thoughts must have etched themselves across my face, because he gripped my shoulders, pulled me close, and planted a kiss on my forehead.
“Time, Wila. Time. You said it—once I find my mate, things will go back to normal.”
My gut twisted at his words, and for a moment, there was no breath in my lungs. Thank goodness he was already turning away. Thank goodness he didn’t see the pain.
Fire licks at my back, tearing my flesh, spilling my blood. But not a sound passes my lips. My body will not flinch. I am immutable, unchangeable. I am her rock.
“Good, Azren. Good. I do believe you are ready.”
The shackles fall away. It is time to do my liege’s bidding. To serve her in any way she wishes.
“Come, my most favored.”
Gray stone and a damp chill. Weak light and the clank of chains
, and then my first victim is revealed. Blood rushes through my veins at the sight of his perfect face.
He raises his chin and glares defiantly at my liege. “Hello, Mother. What fine torture do you have in store for me today?”
The whip is in my hand, and I wait for her command. It comes as a regal inclination of the head, and I feel it in my bones. I pull back my arm and swing.
My eyes snapped open on the crack of the whip, and the empty pink room welcomed me back from the fucked-up nightmare. Seriously? Could I not get a break? And what had that been? Why had my brain even come up with that shit? Was it because Azren had attacked Valance outside my bathroom? Probably.
Okay. Deep breath. “Okay, Mr. Sandman. Quit messing about and give me something good, and if you can’t deliver, then just piss off.”
Closing my eyes, I drifted back into slumber.
Body slick with the perspiration that comes with delicious exertion, breath trapped in my throat and exploding in tiny gasps of pleasure, hands—rough, calloused hands—kneading my flesh, parting my thighs. Ready, I was ready for him, razor-sharp teeth grazing my earlobe. Azren, yes. Oh, God. Yes.
“Wila, I love you, you know that.” Tay’s voice was a delicious vibration against my collarbone. My mind rebelled in confusion. What? What was happening?
Baby blue eyes peered down at me. “Checkmate, Miss Bastion.”
Whoa! I surged from sleep, battling the inert duvet with a ninja kick and a karate chop. All silent. No hot men in my bedroom. Clothes on. Nothing fucking going on whatsoever.
I slumped back against the pillows. “Brain, you are seriously one messed-up cortex, you know that?”
The clock blinked 4:30 a.m.
There’d be no more sleep for me tonight.
The basement light flickered, causing me to grip the flashlight tighter. The light flared steady once more and my grip relaxed. Dropping the flashlight on my lap, I picked the teacup up off the tiny side table I’d brought down a few weeks ago. I slumped back in the chair and took a sip of the strong concoction.
“The thought of Tay with someone else makes my teeth ache, and Azren is driving me crazy … I just can’t get a handle on that guy. One minute he’s all business and the next he’s belly dancing on the fucking table. And Valance ... I don’t know, but I think he’s hiding something. Noir’s the only one that isn’t taking up precious brain energy right now. And now the whole fucked-up mess is playing in my head when I sleep.” I tapped the rim of my teacup and stared at the door, waiting for the voice.
“You know what this is, right?” the voice asked, his tone smooth like velvet.
The knots in my shoulders eased a fraction. “Do you think I’d be procrastinating if I did?”
A low chuckle. “Sexual repression.”
“Huh?”
“The only way to solve it is to fuck them all,” he said casually.
Wait, had I just heard him right.
“Yes, you heard me right. Just fuck them and get it over with. You know you want to. Your dreams are your subconscious sending you a message.” There was a sly edge to the voice now, needling and smarmy. “Wila, you need this.”
“No. I don’t want to. And you need to get your brain out of the gutter.”
Another soft chuckle. “You want Tay to give up his troll for you. Despite what you said to him, you want him to drop the knell and be yours. You want to tear down Noir’s perfect gentleman facade and unleash the sexual beast you know is tied up in chains within. You want to taste the danger hovering on Azren’s lips, feel the graze of his razor-sharp teeth, and you want to be burned by Valance’s Dragon Tear-soaked breath. You want him to draw you in so far that you become one.”
“Bullshit. Valance tried to eat me.”
“You wanted the prince before he began to feed from you. You want it all, and that’s what scares you.”
“You have no idea what you’re talking about.” My hand shook, and I set the cup down.
“I know exactly what I’m talking about, and now you’re ready to hear it.” His tone was no longer playful. It was edged with an anger I couldn’t comprehend. “You’re not against giving your heart away. You’re against being trapped in a monogamous relationship.”
His words stabbed at a hidden part of me, the part that I’d locked away a long time ago. “Shut up.” But there was no conviction in the demand.
“You’re afraid of wanting more, of wanting everything. Of wanting it all, because hey, that would just be greedy, selfish even, and that isn’t the image of you that you like to see. But now ask yourself why? Why fight your basic instinct? Is it worth the internal torment? Just think if you accept your flaws, if you accept your dark desires, we could be free.”
“Instincts aren’t always right.” Dammit, why did I sound so unconvinced?
“That’s a lie and you know it. You know what you want. You’re just afraid to break the conventions of the only society you know. But, Wila, I’ll let you in on a little secret. Maybe this society isn’t for you. At least you have the freedom to decide, to forge a path.” The fire had bled from his tone, and now he just sounded resigned, and ... sad.
My stomach tightened in response to the sorrow in his tone, and my feet took a step toward the metal door before I could catch them. What was I doing? He was locked up for a reason, a reason he wouldn’t share with me, probably because it was so horrific.
“You’re insane, you know that? And you have no idea what I need, so zip it.” I headed for the stairs.
“Yes, maybe I am. And yet you come to me time and time again. Ask yourself why you come down here? It’s because you need me,” he called in a singsong voice. “You need me to say the things you can’t. To think the things you refuse to think.”
A shiver ran up my spine because he was right. He was so fucking right. But like hell I was going to admit it.
“And I think you need to get a life. Oh, wait, you can’t.” I slammed the door shut with a smug smile.
7
The smell of bacon drew me from the shower and down the stairs. Gilbert was busy in the kitchen, utensils floating in the air as he prepared breakfast. Leaving him to it, I headed to the lounge. The hound met me at the doorway; his huge jaws, closed now, were level with my chest.
“Morning. You hungry?”
He stared at me and slow-blinked.
“I’ll take that as a yes. I hope you like bacon.”
He cocked his head.
“Follow me.” I pushed the sliding doors open all the way to allow his huge bulk to slide through, but the kitchen was another story. The door was regular-sized and there was no way the hound was getting in here. He was way too wide. “Oh, shit.”
The hound studied me for a long beat and then began to shrink. Not much but enough to fit through the door.
“Well, ain’t that a neat trick?”
He followed me into the kitchen and parked his butt beside the table. A plate of bacon floated across the room and landed in front of him.
“You saved my Wila,” Gilbert said. “You get as much bacon as you want.”
The hound didn’t flinch or seem surprised by Gilbert’s presence. He simply lowered his head and snarfed the bacon. It was gone in less than two seconds, and then he raised his head to lock eyes with me. There was calm intelligence in those amber eyes.
I parked my butt on the nearest chair. “Why have you been saving me?”
The hound offered me another slow blink.
I raised a hand, fingers hovering by his head, eager to pet him but not wanting to be presumptuous. This was no ordinary animal. This was something new, something astute. He nudged my hand with his head, giving me permission, and then closed his eyes as I ran my fingers through his silken fur.
“Where did you come from, eh?” Of course he couldn’t answer me, but a warm, safe feeling shot through me.
“Oh, fuck!” Trevor said from the doorway. His tiny body was frozen in horror.
The hound opened its eyes and slowly turned
its huge head in Trevor’s direction. My leg muscles contracted, ready for action if needed, but the hound merely chuffed and turned away again, nudging my hand for another petting.
I chuckled. “I think you’re safe, Trev. I don’t think he sees you as a threat.”
“Well, that’s one way to kick a guy in the balls.” Trevor warily entered the room, giving the hound a wide berth. He hopped into his seat on the opposite side of the table, side-eyeing the beast. “This is the creature that saved you?”
“Yep.” I continued to stroke the hound, and he laid his head on my lap and closed his eyes.
“Trust me, he looked a lot more ferocious when he was scaring off the Lupin and ripping the shit out of the Lost underground.” I examined the hound’s side, probing gently with my fingers, and sure enough there was scar tissue from the spear a Shedim had jammed into its side under the mausoleum. “He’s saved me too many times.” I looked up. “I’m not going to kick him out if he wants to stick around.”
Trevor sighed. “I guess you can’t. And as long as he keeps his chompers to himself, we’re good.”
The hound opened one eye to glare at Trevor, then closed it again with a harrumph.
I chuckled. “I think you have an agreement.”
“Good, because I’m fucking starving.”
Gilbert placed a plate of bacon in front of Trevor and a cup of tea and a bacon sandwich in front of me.
“Thanks, Gilbert. I don’t know what we’d do without you.”
“Starve,” Trevor said around a mouthful of food. “Or die of food poisoning, because you can’t cook for shit.”
“Hey, I can cook just fine. I just need a mobile phone and a takeout menu to do it.”
Trevor snorted. “Speaking of mobile phones, where’s the video of razor mouth doing the fandango?”
“Azren was dancing?” Gilbert sounded amused.
“Yeah, but not the fandango.” I whipped out my phone and loaded up the video. “Check it out.” Music filtered from my phone, covered by hoots of encouragement, and there was Azren, snake-hipping his way all over the table.
Trevor choked and then spat out a gob of masticated bacon. Gilbert let out a guffaw.
City of the Lost (Chronicles of Arcana Book 2) Page 7