He slipped off Pete and let him wander about. He knew ol’ Pete wouldn’t stray very far from him. Sitting down on a large boulder near the clearing’s edge, Josh surveyed the land, trying to think things through. If he did rebuild, where? The first place he’d picked had been the perfect spot. But the new place would have to be farther away from this awful-looking, scorched landscape, because he couldn’t stand to look at it.
The taste of bitterness crept into his heart, and he clenched his teeth. Grasses would quickly return, but the trees would take years. He sighed and put his head in his hands, looking down at the space between his feet.
He heard the jingle of horses and buggy coming up the road. Lifting his head, he watched Marion drive a fine, matching pair of bays and a shiny black buggy over to where Pete stood. She wasted no time but scrambled down and walked over to where he sat.
“Josh . . . I have no words to express how sorry I am for what happened yesterday. What can I do, how can I help?” She gave his arm an affectionate pat.
For a moment he thought she was going to burst into tears. Grateful that she didn’t, he lifted his gaze to stare out at the rubble that was his home. “There’s nothing you can do,” he declared thickly. “Nothing at all.”
“At least you and Andy didn’t lose your lives. You can start over, build another house.” Marion knelt down next to him, placing a hand on his shoulder.
“No, I can’t. There’s no money left, and I had a loan for my land. The house was my collateral.”
“I can help—”
“What’s the use? I lost part of my herd, most of the grazing land is burned to a crisp . . .” Josh slowly exhaled.
Marion shrugged. “Josh, there’s always hope, and there’s always help. I’m not without means. I could advance you the money until you sell the wool, or whatever it is you planned to do. All is not lost.”
He knew she meant it from the tone of her voice and concern in her face. “I can’t let you do that. What would people think?”
“That we’re partners?”
He froze and arched an eyebrow at her. “Partners?”
“Well . . . only if someone asks. I could care less about raising sheep,” she said.
He hesitated, thinking about her offer. It would be ready cash, and he had no one else he could turn to. He didn’t want to go back to Colorado and face his father with his failure. “Why would you want to do this for me?” It was an honest question.
“Because you’re in need, and I’d like to help because we’re friends. Right?” She leaned closer, looking up at him.
He stiffened. She was so close that he could smell rose water from the movement of her hair lifting on the morning breeze. Should he take her offer? Goodness knows, he didn’t have much left, just a few sapphires for safekeeping. He wasn’t sure how he was going to pay Andy his wages.
“Just say yes, Josh, and we can get to work on this,” she pleaded.
“Okay. We’ll talk about it. But it needs to be written up and legal,” he said. He reached for her hand in a firm handshake that she returned. “Pardner!” His spirits lifted a little, and Marion gave him a wide smile. She leaned against his shoulder, giving him a hug as his head touched hers briefly in gratitude.
26
The brilliant sun was already high in the azure sky by the time Juliana made her way toward Josh’s camp. Albert had assured her that her morning off would be time well spent. Upon her return she would work on the lead story about the fire for the newspaper. Albert said a couple of other farmers had suffered from the fire as well.
She’d slept soundly from sheer exhaustion but hurried through the morning. She loaded the wagon with Natalie and Louise’s help, then hitched Choco to the back for her return trip. She couldn’t get the vision of Josh’s drawn face out of her mind. She wished she could do something somehow. Was it just a few weeks ago she had stood in his kitchen discussing plans on where to place his stove? It seemed like years.
She sighed deeply. Every time she got discouraged, she’d try to remember what the reverend said about how God is there even when we walk through the bad times. She didn’t want to dwell on sadness. She’d done that long enough, and it was time to look forward to what the future held . . . maybe a future with Josh? Why else would he ask to court her?
Juliana’s heart skipped a beat. She would help him through this valley he was in right now. After all, he’d helped her in her time of need and made her start thinking about God again.
Andy removed his floppy hat and greeted Juliana with less than his normal cheery hello when she drove up. “If it’s Josh you’re looking for, he’s out at his ranch—or should I say what’s left of the ranch.” He walked over and assisted her down.
“He is? I wanted to return his wagon. I’ve also brought along a few supplies you might be needing, and a hearty lunch that Miss Margaret and her girls were kind enough to prepare for you and Josh.” She turned, lifting a basket from the back. “If you’ll get those other boxes there, I’d appreciate it.”
“Wow. That’s wonderful! It’ll be nice not to eat my own cooking for a change,” Andy said with a wink. “I’ll put these things away. Why don’t I take some of the lunch, and then you take the rest and go have lunch with Josh? Maybe that would cheer him up.”
“Okay, but I can’t stay long. I have to write a story about the fire for today’s paper. Did you get any rest?”
“Somewhat. I think we’re both in shock. We buried sheep, and all that digging plumb wore me out. Did Nellie get back all right?” His face lit up when he said her name.
“She did. She is a sweet girl and a hard worker, Andy. I can tell.”
“I have to agree with you. She’s a lot like you,” he said, glancing in her direction as he grabbed some supplies.
“Really?” She sneaked a peek at Andy. “I’ll take that as a compliment.” She reached inside the basket, took part of the lunch out, and handed it to him. “I’d better get going now. Are you sure Josh is still out at the ranch?”
“That’s where he was heading. He has some plans to work out if he’s going to rebuild his house.”
“Why wouldn’t he?” Juliana raised an eyebrow.
Andy shrugged his lean shoulders. “You’ll have to ask him. I don’t know what he’s thinking right now.”
Juliana mounted Choco and looked down at Andy. “See you later, Andy.”
He looked up at her. “Please thank Mrs. Spencer and her daughters. That was mighty kind of them, and thanks for returning our wagon.”
“I’ll tell them, and you’re welcome.” She gave her horse a light kick and cantered off in the direction of Josh’s place.
Juliana slowed Choco when she drew closer to the area where she thought Josh’s ranch lay. Everything looked different now, and she had to get her bearings. She was unprepared for the scene before her as she approached the clearing where his house once stood, and she barely noticed the burned-out barn and house. Marion was leaning against Josh, and their heads were touching. A flash of hurt spurted through her body, and she thought her heart would stop beating. Marion was her friend! Why was she doing this? Worse yet, why was Josh holding her?
They pulled apart as soon as Josh spotted her. His face reddened. From guilt? She wasn’t sure, but she pursed her lips into a tight line when Josh stood up. Marion flushed and straightened her dress.
“Juliana. I’m surprised to see you this morning.” Josh cleared his throat.
I’ll just bet you are. Are you trying to act as though the two of us are only friends?
“I brought the wagon back with some supplies for you and a lunch.” She handed him the basket without getting off her horse.
He reached up to take it from her, and their fingers brushed. Juliana flinched. Josh frowned, but she said nothing and nodded toward Marion.
“Well, hi, Juliana.” Marion smiled. “How thoughtful of you to bring lunch.”
Juliana stiffened and glanced at Marion. “Actually, it was Margaret Spencer who se
nt it since I was bringing Josh’s wagon back.” Juliana could barely look at either of them, especially those amber eyes of Josh’s. “I left the wagon with Andy.”
“That was very thoughtful of Mrs. Spencer. Aren’t you going to get down and join us?” Josh asked, peeking inside the basket. He smacked his lips and squinted at Juliana.
She felt herself waiver momentarily when his eyes held hers. His warm amber eyes looked perplexed. She felt she had no reason to stay, really. He seemed to be doing quite well without her. “No, I must be getting back to work. I told Albert I wouldn’t be long. Enjoy the lunch.” She spun her horse around without waiting for a response, sending dusty ash flying.
Juliana rode Choco harder than she meant to, fuming on the way back to town. She thought Josh was a man of his word. Was he no different from most of the men she’d met or heard about? And her friend Marion! She certainly wasted no time to be alone with Josh.
Inside her head, a million thoughts were bouncing around. Had he been toying with her? She felt like she had just been duped. She should have never let it go this far. She knew better. She would get back to town, concentrate on writing the article, and put Josh out of her mind. She had her job and her new friends at the boardinghouse. She didn’t need him.
She turned her attention to the beautiful, sun-kissed meadow that lay in the direction of Lewistown, a stark contrast to the burned grasslands behind her. The craggy mountain peaks lent a picturesque backdrop that never ceased to inspire her. She slowed her horse, leading him to the edge of the creek where just the day before, she and Josh had enjoyed a lovely picnic and had their first real kiss. Her response had been embarrassingly swift, she realized now. She felt her face grow hot at the thought of him pressing against her in her soggy dress. No lady should allow herself to be kissed that way. Right? If her mama could see her now, what advice would she give her?
Juliana slid off the horse’s back and stood beside the creek to allow Choco to drink after the hard gallop. Rushing water foamed as it bubbled over the huge rocks in the sparkling creek bed. She loved the beautiful sound it created as it washed the rocks clean and smooth.
Juliana sat down on a fallen tree trunk, leaned back against a large rock, and watched the water in its endless flow downstream, until the sight of it began to calm her mind and create a balm over her soul. The creek was a strange thing, only a couple of miles away from yesterday’s fire but still too far away to douse it. It brought to mind something she’d read in Josh’s Bible. Was it from the book of Mark? That if she believed in the Lord, she would never thirst? Maybe she was just beginning to see what that meant.
She bowed her head and said a brief prayer that God would fill every corner of her heart with the promise that she would never again thirst. She wanted that. What had the reverend said? That man may fail us, but God never would, and He was the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. Or something like that. She may have thought she really needed Josh, but the truth was she needed God more, in order to understand what the truth was. She thanked Him that lives were spared and that Josh hadn’t lost his entire herd.
She didn’t want to be angry at Josh or Marion. What good would that serve? With a deep sigh, she rose and patted Choco’s thick neck and pulled herself back into the saddle. Her heart felt calmer now. Though she knew she loved Josh, she would step back and see where the Lord would lead. Maybe with a clearer mind, she’d be able to write about the fire a little more objectively.
Lunch had been eaten rather quickly after Juliana left. Josh could tell Marion was trying her best to keep the conversation light, but Josh wasn’t feeling very hungry. He knew Juliana didn’t understand what she had seen, and he wanted to tear out after her to explain, but that would have made him look even guiltier. He wasn’t guilty of anything. Was he? He hoped Marion didn’t take his reaction to her kindness as anything more than it was— comfort. Only comfort and perhaps hope.
“Marion,” Josh said rather abruptly, standing up. “I need to get on back to work.” He started to gather the remains of their lunch.
Sighing loudly, Marion picked up the leftover sandwiches and handed them to Josh. “I understand. You have a lot to do and consider. When you’re ready to buy the materials to start building your home, let me know. My mother left me a small inheritance, and I can have my attorney draw up a legal document you’ll be satisfied with. You can consider it an advance until you’re able to see your way clear. No hurry.”
“I’ll give it some thought, I promise.” Josh nodded.
She gave his arm a squeeze, and he turned to help her into her buggy. “See you in town soon, I hope.” She lightly tapped the reins across the horses’ backs, and they moved forward.
Josh stood watching as she turned the buggy easily in the direction of town. She was a good horsewoman, and he thought his sister, April, would agree. Marion was a really nice lady, that was sure, but she didn’t touch his heart the way Juliana had. Even Crystal hadn’t done that. He’d have to make it a point to talk to Juliana, but right now he’d better ride back to camp or Andy would think he wasn’t returning at all.
Josh’s back was aching from all that digging. Shoot! He might not be able to beat the other men off Juliana. With a heavy heart, he rode his mount in the direction of the sheep camp.
27
Shebe left the flock and ran as fast as her four legs could carry her to greet Josh when he returned. Dismounting Pete, Josh leaned over and ruffled the thick hair around Shebe’s neck. She sniffed his palm, looking for her usual jerky treat.
“Sorry about that, my ol’ friend. My pockets are empty today.” And my heart too, he thought.
Andy sprinted up to take Pete’s reins. “Don’t let her fool you none. I gave her plenty of treats already. Did Juliana find you without any trouble?”
“She did.”
“Good. The Spencers packed us a mighty hearty lunch, didn’t they?” Andy guided Pete to where a rope was strung between two trees. He flipped the reins around the rope. “Want me to unsaddle your horse?” Andy said with his hands on his hips.
Josh shuffled over to pour a cup of coffee before answering. “Thanks, Andy. I first thought I might ride into Lewistown this afternoon, but I think I’ll wait until tomorrow.” He stood, staring into his cup. “I’ll rub Pete down in a few minutes.”
“Josh, is something bothering you? Something happen at the ranch?” Andy’s eyebrows shot up, and he pushed his hat further back on his head.
“You could say that.” He took a swig of the hot brew and continued. “This coffee is old. Why don’t you make a fresh pot?” Josh flung the liquid out of his cup. “I had two visitors. Marion came to offer a cash advance to get the house built again.” Josh took a seat on the camp stool and crossed his leg over his knee. “She said there would be no hurry to pay it back.”
“Hey now, that’s good news, don’t you think? That could settle all your problems.”
“Well, hold on, Andy. I’m in no hurry to rebuild the house yet. I don’t have a family,” he said, staring out at the sheep. “Thank God we still have land that the flock can graze on.”
“True, but the Stocktons are some of the wealthiest people in town. Marion will never miss the money.” Andy leaned down to add more wood to the fire, then threw out the old coffee. He stepped over to the wagon and scooped up fresh coffee, then filled the pot with water from the barrel strapped on the wagon’s back panel.
“I don’t want to take her money, but I’m grateful for her offer. It’ll cost a pretty penny to replace one of our prized rams we lost in the fire.”
“I don’t mind working for my keep, Josh. I know you’ll pay my wages when you sell this year’s wool, so don’t worry on that score. I like my job. Besides, I’m the only one who’ll put up with you day and night!” Andy laughed.
Josh chuckled. “You’re almost as good as a wife! And a doggone good cook too.” Josh was glad Andy felt so comfortable working with him.
Andy shrugged. “I do my best to please. Nelli
e seems to agree with you.”
“Aw, I see how it is now. That gal is gonna take you away from me, I’m sure of it.”
“Could be. But until then, I’m all yours.”
“Then what’s for dinner?” Josh clapped him on the shoulder.
“Are you changing the subject? Seems to me you’re the one who’ll be hitched to that sweet young Juliana soon.” Andy’s face held a grin a mile wide. “I saw how she looked when she was talking to you.”
“Is that a fact? Well, she was none too happy with me today.”
“Whaddya mean?” Andy placed the coffeepot over the burning fire, then paused to look back at Josh.
“I think she saw something this morning between me and Marion and took it the wrong way.”
“Uh-oh. You’re in hot water now. Did Juliana get mad?”
“What do you think? She was as friendly to me as an icy winter morning.”
Andy rolled his eyes. “If she means what I think she does to you, then you’d better get it squared away with her. My grandpa used to say that a woman’s heart is like a campfire—if you don’t tend to it, you’ll lose it.” Andy continued stoking the fire under the coffeepot until it blazed hot.
Josh rose, strolled over to Pete, and started removing his saddle. “That’s just what I intend to do. Stoke the fire.”
Before the dusky twilight settled over the mountain peaks, Josh heard Andy ringing the dinner bell. He still didn’t have much of an appetite. Along with Shebe’s help, he had spent the rest of the afternoon trying to keep track of the baby lambs, forcing them to stay with the flock. He knew that after the fire, predators would be more prevalent in search of food. Considering how quickly the fire had swept through without warning, he guessed he’d been fortunate. The dumb sheep carried on more or less like nothing had occurred. He figured he wasn’t the only one who had suffered loss from the fire. He’d find out who else had when he went back to town.
The Jewel of His Heart Page 17