by Vella Day
“Blair, what’s wrong?” Ronan said in her head.
It was time to tell him. She tried to answer, but her thoughts came out jumbled. What was happening to her? Was this another curse put there by Darinda? Wasn’t the goddess dead?
I need to protect you, her bear said. I won’t fail you again.
Blair wanted to explain that she didn’t need protection. She needed Ronan’s arms wrapped around her.
Before she had the chance to stop her wild animal, they barreled toward the woods. While Blair had grown up around there, things had changed. The trees were taller and more trails existed.
Can we please stop? she begged. I don’t feel well.
We need to hide. I have to protect you.
This is insane. No animal ever took over a shifter’s body. It was like some virus, or alien creature had invaded every cell and was out of control. Just her luck to have an animal that had lain dormant for years and then suddenly go crazy.
Blair tried to shift again, but nothing she tried worked. Why are you doing this to me?
We’ll be there soon, her animal responded, clearly not interested in what Blair wanted or needed.
“Ronan, can you hear me? I need you to find me.”
He can’t hear you, her bear said.
Even if that were true, Ronan would find a way to save her. Oh, why did she have to inherit this bear? Stupid animal.
I heard that, her bear responded.
She didn’t care. Please, let’s stop and go back.
The bear ignored her and continued to plow through the forest, sometimes keeping to the paths and at other times damaging the undergrowth. She marched through the tree branches as if they were butter, and stepped on rocks and fallen logs without care. A swarm of angry bees flew out from under the log and gave chase. Blair batted them away, but that only provoked them further. A few stung her. Seemingly satisfied for having inflicted harm, the bees eventually left.
A small creek appeared, and all Blair wanted to do was have a drink and rest. This time, her animal must have sensed her distress and finally stopped. Blair lowered her head and drank her fill.
While she wanted to argue with the obstinate animal, she figured it wouldn’t do any good.
“Ronan, where are you? Help me.”
Don’t you listen? He can’t hear you. I cut you off.
This was her worse nightmare. Why?
You need time to heal—or rather I need time to heal you. Your mom and your friends would never have left you alone. I needed to interfere.
I could have handled them.
Growing up, her bear had chastised her for rationalizing. Now her animal was doing the same thing. After another few minutes of plowing through the woods, her bear’s words sunk in. Maybe she was right. Blair hadn’t wanted to hear all of their kind words of sympathy. Her body and mind needed to heal first. Maybe her bear was helping. Thank you. I think.
You’re welcome.
Her bear was on the move again, but when Blair looked around, she truly had no idea where they were. She just hoped her bear would stop soon. They crossed a meadow before coming to a set of rocks that jutted up from the earth. Her bear slowed and then wedged her hefty body between them.
Now, we rest, her bear said as she sprawled out on the ground.
Hallelujah!
Chapter Twenty-Four
‡
If both Connor and Jackson hadn’t been on a job, Ronan would have asked them if one of them could check on Blair. Something was wrong. The first time Ronan made contact, Blair said she was fine, but given the pain he was experiencing, she wasn’t. He decided to respect her wishes. If she didn’t want to tell him what was wrong, it was her choice, but he needed to let her know how much it pained him when she held back.
A few more waves of despair had hit him throughout the day, which was why he had reached out telepathically. When she didn’t answer, he figured she didn’t want to speak to him for some reason, or else their new telepathic abilities weren’t well formed yet. Then something sharp pressed against his heart, and he decided this was more than just Blair wanting to keep something secret.
Ronan was sitting in his Jeep outside of a woman’s house, waiting for the man who was accused of infidelity to leave. He’d been inside for a little more than an hour, and all during that time, Ronan’s thoughts kept shooting to Blair.
Ronan had taken pictures of Deidre’s husband going into the house as well as her husband’s car in the drive, so he figured he didn’t really need to see this guy exit. While this didn’t prove they were having an affair, he was one step closer to sealing the deal. Next time, he’d move in closer and hope to get a shot inside the bedroom.
It was time to leave. On the way to his house, he called Connor and explained that he needed to leave his surveillance early.
“No problem. Definitely check on Blair. I’m worried about her too. She’s been through an ordeal I wouldn’t wish on anyone.”
Cutting off a person’s head would rank up there as high trauma. Ronan had the best boss. Blair’s car was in the drive when he arrived, implying she was inside and he dashed in. “Blair?”
He didn’t sense her nor did she answer. His wolf growled. Ronan headed straight to the bedroom thinking she might be ill, and her bear signature was too weak to detect. The bed was empty. What the hell?
As he returned to the living room, he noticed the vase her parents had given them as a housewarming present was missing from the table next to the door, and his gut soured.
Before he could figure out his next move, his cell rang. It was Blair’s mom, and his heart dropped to his stomach. “Celia?”
“Oh, Ronan. I’m so worried about Blair.” Her voice shook.
“Calm down. Tell me what happened.”
“Blair lost the baby, and she was so upset that she shifted right in the house. She knocked over things and charged outside. I’ve tried calling her, but apparently she still isn’t home.”
“No, she’s not.” He was still stuck on the words: she lost the baby. “Wait a minute. Blair miscarried?”
“Yes. She was beside herself with grief. I am so sorry, Ronan. You lost a child too.”
His wolf whined and scratched his insides, while Ronan’s whole body became incased in lead.
“She should have called me right away.” Pain sliced at him that was as brutal as when Nanor had clawed at him. “When did this happen?”
“She ran out of the house about two hours ago. Blair had just come back from her doctor’s appointment.”
His heart squeezed tight. Knowing his mate, Blair probably needed time to come to grips with the loss. “Don’t worry. I’ll find her.”
“Be gentle when you do. This is a terrible blow to her. She knows how much you wanted a child.”
Blair shouldn’t be worried about him at a time like this. “I’ll let you know when I have her.”
Ronan would find Blair. He wasn’t a bounty hunter for nothing. His tracking skills were unparalleled because of his ability to see scents as colors. He dashed into the bedroom and located his wolf backpack. He filled it with a pair of lightweight nylon shorts and sandals for himself for when he shifted back into his human form, and then tossed in a pair of panties, shorts, and sandals for Blair. He had to tie the T-shirt to the outside, as the pack was full already. Blair could wear one of his shirts. It would cover her more. He just hoped she was able to walk.
What he couldn’t understand was why didn’t she answer him when he’d called out to her? Was she injured? His gut churned at that horrible idea.
Hurry, his wolf urged.
While Ronan was a good tracker in human form, he was exceptional as a wolf. He undressed and then stepped outside with his pack. After closing the door, he shifted. He had putting on the pack down to a science. Nudging his nose under the strap, he held down one side with his paw, and slithered underneath. While he couldn’t close the clasp under his chest, he could run with it on and not lose it.
Ronan took
off and immediately sensed Blair’s colors, but they were only thin wisps in the air. Had he not been mated with her, he might have confused the grays with that of the cloudy sky. Her mother had said she had headed toward the woods, and the colors confirmed that.
Once he reached the edge of the forest, he took the path, but it wasn’t long before a wide swath of broken branches led him in a different direction.
“Blair, can you hear me?” he telepathed.
Damn, why wasn’t she answering? He wasn’t experiencing any pain from her, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t hurt. Her bear could be working hard to keep her alive.
Frustrated, Ronan pushed harder into the woods, keeping an open mind about where the bear might have gone. Given the crushed underbrush, staying on the trail hadn’t been her concern.
When he neared a stream, Blair’s pinks and purples abounded, and he left out a breath. While he looked around, absorbing the earth’s colors, he drank the water. Once across the stream, he came to a meadow full of wild flowers, but there the scent seemed to disappear.
Ronan howled, hoping his mate would respond. She wasn’t close or he would have sensed it.
A long line of trees edged the meadow. “Tell me where you are, Blair. Please. I know you’re upset, but so am I.”
A hint of pink floated to the north, and Ronan followed the color. What made him turn toward the collection of tall boulders, he didn’t know, but when he spotted Blair asleep on the ground, he nearly howled with joy.
Wanting to be in his human form, he rolled onto his back, slipped out of his backpack, and then shifted. If she didn’t respond to his telepathy, perhaps she’d wake with the sound of his voice. Once he slipped on his shorts and sandals, he carried over the pack to where she was resting and knelt next to her. “Blair?”
No response. Damn.
Needing to be closer to her, he lay behind her and curled his body around her back. Ronan stroked her fur from her head to her hip, hoping his scent and warmth would calm her. “Blair, can you hear me?” While she didn’t move, a low growl escaped. He hoped it wasn’t a warning to keep away. He wouldn’t obey that request. “I’m sorry about the baby, but I’m here for you. We’ll work through this, I promise. When the time is right, we’ll have another child.”
One of Blair’s paws moved, and she started to roll over on him.
Moving fast, Ronan scooted out of the way and then jumped to his feet. When her eyes opened, he smiled. “Hi. Can you shift for me?” he asked.
Her bear rolled back over, as if she wanted nothing to do with him. What was that about? “I’m just as torn up about the baby as you are,” he said.
Or was that not what she wanted to hear? Blair was proud and was the type to suffer in silence. Think. There had to be something to bring her out of her funk.
Ronan sat back down, leaned against a rock, and stretched out his legs, pretending he was back in their living room with his feet propped up on the coffee table. “So, I was hired by a woman to follow her husband to see if he was cheating. That was where I was all day.”
If she didn’t want to discuss the loss, he could talk about his work. Blair was always asking him about his job. He waited to see if she stirred, but she didn’t. Her breathing however increased, implying she was awake.
“Did I catch him, you might ask? Well, I have photos of him going into this woman’s home, but they could have been just watching a movie. Crazy, you say? Maybe. Tomorrow, I’ll go back and see if he sneaks into her place again. You want to hear another story? Because no matter what, I’m not leaving you, even if I have to stay out here all night.” Nothing. “Listen, Blair. I love you. I’ll always love you more than anything.”
Her bear rolled over and sat up. When she reached out a paw, Ronan offered his hand, waiting to see what she would do. Blair’s bear stood and Ronan did too. Then fur flew and legs waved. A second later, his beautiful mate was naked in front of him. He was smart enough not to ask if she was okay. Blair would just say yes.
Instead, he held out his arms and waited for her to come to him. Tears streaming down her cheeks, she edged toward him.
“You found me,” she said then sniffled.
“Your colors are bright.” He wouldn’t mention all the grays and dark blues he spotted, signaling intense depression.
“I see some blues and greens coming off you, as well as orange,” she said.
“The orange is left over from when I was scared shitless that I’d lost you.”
Blair stepped into his embrace, and every trace of orange disappeared. Blair was safe now, and he would keep her that way forever. He ran his hands down her back, loving the curve of her spine. She was the bravest woman he’d ever met—mate or no mate.
“I was scared too,” she said. “My bear wouldn’t let me go. She wanted to protect and cure me.”
Now wasn’t the time to discuss what curing her meant, but he was glad she was feeling better. He kissed her forehead, wanting her to decide how much loving she wanted. “Is anyone hungry?” he asked.
A small smile lifted her lips. “Would it be too clichéd to say, I’m hungry as a bear?”
Ronan hadn’t meant to laugh, but he couldn’t help it. “Absolutely not. I’m thinking about a big piece of red meat at the Lake Steakhouse. You up for it?”
“Can I go naked?”
He adored her sense of humor. “Absolutely not. I’m the only one to enjoy that pleasure.” He picked up his pack. “I brought you some clothes. I would have grabbed more, but it was all I could fit into the pack. Wolves don’t make good pack mules.”
“I’m thrilled you brought anything.” He handed her the clothing, and she pulled them on. “Perfect.”
Hand in hand, they headed back. Blair didn’t seem to be in a big hurry, and he was fine with that. As much as he wanted to ask what prompted her to shift, when she was ready, she’d tell him. Right now, she needed him to listen and give her all of his support.
*
Blair couldn’t believe how good she felt physically. Yes, she was distraught over the loss of her child, but having a few hours to think things through while her bear healed her from the inside and then protected her from everything and everyone had helped. When she’d opened her eyes and saw Ronan there, she knew things would be okay—for real this time. Would she mourn this baby’s death? Absolutely, but it wouldn’t be fair to Ronan if she didn’t try to move on.
He was her hero. On the way home, he didn’t even ask her any questions or bug her about why she didn’t respond to his calls. He’d stated that her mother had told him everything, and that she could take all the time she needed to sort things through. Just having him by her side brought her such relief.
When they returned home, they showered together, touching each other ever so gently. Ronan’s colors were subdued, and Blair assumed hers were too. Now more than ever, she wanted to be with him intimately, but her body would tell her when she was ready.
After they dried off, Blair told him she wanted to call her mother so she wouldn’t worry. For once, she didn’t dread the conversation, because Blair planned to be brutally honest.
Ronan followed her out. “Would you like a glass of wine before we head to dinner?”
“I’d love a glass.” Tonight would be a sort of celebration—of the life that was lost and of the two lives that were starting fresh without the threat of death hanging over their heads.
She dialed her mother and wasn’t disappointed when her mom asked if she was okay. “Not completely. I have a lot to process, but Ronan is here to help.”
“Oh, sweetheart, I am so happy for you. Were you able to get your bear under control?”
“Eventually.”
“When you were young, you struggled with her so much.”
She had? How had she blocked out those memories? “Ronan helped me. My bear was so humiliated for abandoning me after I met Jared that she wanted to make it up to me by protecting me against the onslaught of concern. While I told her I appreciated her a
ttempt to keep me safe, her methods weren’t the best.”
Her mother chuckled. “Oh, Blair. You are so right.”
“I’m afraid I have to go. Ronan and I are going to dinner. We’ll catch up later.”
“Just remember I love you, no matter what you do,” her mother said. “Your dad and I are so very proud of you.”
Those words brought tears to her eyes. “I love you back.”
Ronan placed a comforting hand on her back and handed her a glass of wine as soon as she hung up.
“How did it go?” he asked.
“Good. Being honest with my mom brought us closer.” She sipped her wine, and the liquid soothed her throat. “Perfect.”
“I’m glad things worked out.”
“Me too.”
They talked about when she planned to go back to work, and then how he planned to catch that woman’s husband in the act, so to speak.
Ronan lifted the empty glass from her fingers. “Ready for dinner?”
“Yes.”
Ronan set down the glasses, picked her up, and spun her around. “Did I tell you how incredibly happy you make me?”
“No. You’ve been unconscious for much of our courtship, remember?” She was teasing of course, but Ronan was an easy one to do that to.
“I think my memory must have been erased.”
They both laughed then headed out to dinner.
Chapter Twenty-Five
‡
Five months later
Blair held up two dresses. “Which looks better—the pink one or the green one?”
Vinea and her new baby, Emma—named after her best friend EmmaLee—had come to town to show Devon’s parents their new grandchild. Because Vinea hadn’t been down since her last visit, Blair wanted to help host a baby shower for her.
“The green one,” Ronan said. “It complements your gorgeous auburn hair better.”
“Then green it is.” Just as she was about to put it on, Ronan slipped it from her fingers. “What are you doing?” she asked, as if she couldn’t guess from the color change in his eyes or the fact his beard had grown thicker. Blair just loved whenever he told her what he planned to do to her.