Mrs. Kinkiddie blinked and seemed to find herself with no more accusations. “Well, then,” she said at last. “Come to the fire. I’ll see what’s to be done.”
Sally, Robert, and Noel gathered gratefully around the fire roaring on the hearth. Sally shook out her cloak and smoothed the wrinkles in her satin skirt.
“What a dreadful woman,” she whispered, “although I think he means to be kind.”
“She’s just scared,” said Noel, wheezing. He sat on the floor and leaned his shoulder against the wall. “Can’t blame her.”
“At least you can get warm here,” said Sally, smoothing back his hair.
“Well?” yelled Kinkiddie. “It’s on the table. Come and eat it.”
Robert took Noel’s elbow, but Noel shook his head with a faint smile. “Not hungry, boy. Go on.”
“But, sir, you must keep up your strength.”
Noel closed his eyes, and heard Sally urging Robert away.
He wasn’t sure if it was the hissing and roaring of the fire or the fever drumming in his ears. He sank into the sound, depressed and sick at heart. By now the men must have read some pronouncement over Leon. They would have bound his hands behind him and hoisted him onto a horse. The noose would have been placed over his head. He would have sneered, as he always did, cowardice and fear shining in his eyes. Someone would have whipped the horse on the rump, startling it forward, and Leon would be swinging now, swinging in the cold spring wind, his feet kicking for a moment, then all still. Would they leave him hanging there, a testament to others who would dare try infamy? Or would they cut him down and bury him?
Did creatures duplicated in a process that violated physics go somewhere when they died? Through the centuries the church had worried over men who had lost their souls. What became of men who never had souls at all?
Noel slipped deeper into the warmth surrounding him. He was comfortable now. His aches and bruises seemed far away. As long as he didn’t try to breathe deeply, even his chest didn’t hurt as much. In a way, it was almost a comfort, knowing now that the game was finished. He couldn’t take Leon back to the Institute. The anomaly would never be closed. The time loop would circle for all eternity. He would stay here, trapped in the past, for there was nowhere else to go.
It wasn’t so bad, now that matters had been taken from his hands. It wasn’t so bad, giving up.
It wasn’t so bad, letting go.
Chapter 14
Qwip came to visit him, in the place of between.
The translucent image of bald head, pointed ears, and smooth oval face hung over Noel like a curtain, ever shifting, never constant.
“I am curious,” said Qwip.
“About what?”
“What is the sensation of dying?”
The question was irritating. “Why ask me?” retorted Noel.
“They say that is what you are doing.”
“Who says so?”
“The creatures who surround you.”
Noel opened his eyes very wide and looked, but he saw nothing but Qwip. He didn’t like Qwip. He wished he would go away. “I don’t see anyone,” he said.
“The creatures who surround your corporeal form,” said Qwip, “at coordinates 4060—”
“I don’t want to hear about coordinates,” said Noel. “I don’t like you. Go away.”
“But I am curious.”
“About death?”
“Yes. This is termination?”
“Of course it is. You threatened me with it the first time we met.”
“But this is a sadness to the creatures. They have not instructed your termination.”
“No, I think that came from your side,” said Noel dryly. “So I’m dying.” It did not seem to matter very much. He could consider the whole thing abstractly. “It’s not like I expected.”
“What do you expect? Do you think about termination prior to the event itself? You are a peculiar creature.”
“So’re you,” said Noel. He closed his eyes, but Qwip didn’t leave. Noel sighed and raised his head. “What are you, a candidate for mortuary school? I don’t want to talk about it.”
“I am not to blame,” said Qwip. “I was instructed to terminate you if you did not comply with the terms of your agreement. I have not carried out my instructions. The matter is not closed, yet you die. Explain.”
“Well, it just happens sometimes,” said Noel with sarcasm. “Elephants do it too. Only they get to go off by themselves and die in peace.”
“Elephants?”
“Yeah. You’d like them.”
“Are they in another alternate dimension?”
Noel tried not to laugh. “Yeah, that’s where they are all right. You could go look for them.”
“I would rather discuss information with you.”
“It’s a very boring subject.”
Qwip hovered over him, waiting.
Noel glared at him. “Don’t you ever go home?”
“I do not understand that reference.”
“Home equals your origin point. Go there.”
“The matter is not closed. I have not carried out my instructions.”
“Look, get this straight. I’m not going back to Chicago. I’m not going back to the Time Institute. I’m…not…going. Get it? The train has stopped, pal. And you can’t go with me to see the future.”
“I was curious about your future,” Qwip said with something that sounded like regret.
“You don’t belong in it.”
“Why?”
“You just don’t! How can you be so dense? When I nearly blundered into your dimension, all the warning bells went off, and they sent you out to attack me. I was threatened with termination, and I’ve been threatened with it ever since. Don’t you remember all that?”
“Perfectly.”
“And you don’t see the correlation?”
“What correlation?”
Noel tried to sweep Qwip away, but he just swirled and reformed like a vapor. “What goes for me, goes for you.”
“Explain.”
“You didn’t want me to enter your dimension. I don’t want you in mine.”
“Why?”
“You are considered an intruder,” said Noel between his teeth. “We would like to terminate you.”
“You cannot terminate me,” said Qwip. “It is not within the capabilities of your technology.”
Noel snorted and said nothing.
“I ask questions because I wish to understand. To gather information is important. Please answer.”
Noel said nothing.
“Please answer.”
“Answer what, damn you?” said Noel.
“You wish to terminate me. You are…you are angry? Define angry.”
“Angry is how I felt after you invaded my body.”
“Possession is a means of control.”
“Yeah? Well, I didn’t like it.”
“Explain.”
“I didn’t want you to do it.”
“Why?”
“It was against my will.”
Qwip’s mouth opened for a moment. “Will?” he said. “Individual will?”
“Yes.”
“A peculiar concept. I must consider it.”
“And what do you have,” sneered Noel, “an ant mentality?”
“I do not understand that reference.”
“Let me explain. It’s unflattering,” said Noel.
“You remain angry.”
“Damn right.”
“I do not understand.”
Noel lifted his head, all patience gone. “Look, if I’m dying, I’d like to do it in peace. Okay? Just go away.”
“But the matter is not closed.”
“It’ll be closed when I’m gone.”
“Define gone.”
“Terminated!” shouted Noel.
“But I have not terminated you.”
“And who put you in charge? I can die without you.”
“Do you wish termination
, Noel?” asked Qwip.
Noel was silent, fuming.
“Do you wish termination?”
He said nothing.
“Do you wish termination?”
Goaded, Noel snapped, “No, damn it, I don’t!”
“Then resist.”
“Why should I? You’ll just have another go at me.”
“My range has been increased, but I do not think they will allow me to enter your origin coordinates,” said Qwip sadly. “I will inquire for permission to conduct additional exploration. If permission is denied, I will experience regret. Do you have a reference for regret?”
“Yeah, I think I can understand that.” Noel glared at him. “Excuse me if I don’t feel regret. And don’t bother to ask your boss for permission because I’m not taking you anywhere. Now go pester someone else.”
“It is aloneness here between,” said Qwip. “I would question Subject Two, but it achieves no result. Subject Two never wishes to talk to me. I have tried, but Subject Two is most unpleasant. You talk to me, Noel.”
“Who,” said Noel impatiently, “is Subject Two?”
“The inverse of Subject One.”
“Gee, that tells me a lot,” said Noel. “Who is Subject One?”
Qwip opened his mouth. “You are.”
Noel frowned, sorting through it with lethargy. “The inverse of…you mean Leon?”
“A constant inversion, even in personality designations,” said Qwip.
“You do mean Leon.” Noel forgot his irritation and felt suddenly alert. “Is he alive? No, he can’t be. I know he was terminated. So what happened to him after—after—well, is he here between?”
“This information pleases you,” said Qwip slowly.
“Just answer my question.”
“But I do not understand. There are many questions. All contradictory. Subject Two—”
“Leon,” broke in Noel. “If you can call me Noel, you can call him Leon.”
“I call you Noel as a gesture. It is to please you.”
“Then please me by calling him Leon!”
Qwip wavered and almost started to vanish, then came back. “Agreed.”
“Thank you,” said Noel, exhausted by his anger. “So what’s so hard about what I asked you? Is Leon here between?”
“No. Leon is not between.”
“But his consciousness is somewhere. You said you tried to talk to him, so he’s still—”
“Please, I have no references for this. Leon is at similar coordinates to your corporeal form.”
Noel stared at him and slowly rose to a sitting position. He reached out his hand and tried to grip Qwip with his fingers, although Qwip was as thin as air. “Are you saying he’s alive? That they didn’t hang him?”
“Leon has not been terminated.”
Noel dropped back and laughed. “Not terminated?”
“No, this has not occurred. That is why I do not understand your behavior. Why do you die?”
Noel was still smiling. “Why indeed?” he murmured.
Lashed to a horse, his bound hands swollen from lack of circulation, Leon ducked another tree branch and fumed. They were trotting through a forest, having left the road to avoid another British patrol. Bounced and jolted, his body aching from where they had beaten him earlier, Leon’s patience had long ago run out. He’d tried manipulating the minds of his captors but they were too emotionally charged to pay heed to him. That angered him further. He’d cursed them, and they hit him. One of them tied a dirty handkerchief across his mouth to gag him.
More than once they’d dismounted among the trees and hidden while the British rode by. The men held the nostrils of their horses to keep them from whinnying. Someone held a cocked pistol at the back of Leon’s skull to keep him from trying anything. Now and then one of the men would simply look at him, and Leon could sense fresh rage boiling up. The man would hit him hard, sometimes more than once, just because he’d tried to kill Washington.
Furious, Leon wanted to crush them all. But his own sense of cunning preserved him from being that foolhardy. Even if he knocked them all unconscious with the power of his mind, that would still leave him trussed and helpless. No, he had to bide his time and separate them.
He singled out the man who seemed to be giving most of the orders. “Split up,” he whispered to the man’s mind.
He kept sending that suggestion, and it kept being ignored. Leon wanted to scream with frustration. What were they so angry about? What were they so scared of? The British couldn’t find them in the dark. Washington was safe. Leon’s shot had missed. No harm had been done.
He tried to suggest that to their minds, but they were too upset to receive it.
Finally, just before dawn when Leon was frozen stiff in the saddle and his hands had gone completely numb, they drew rein at a crossroads.
“Time to split up,” said the leader. “If we don’t report for duty, Von Steuben will see our heads roll.”
“What about our prisoner?” asked the man who held Leon’s reins.
“Better do him quick, if we’re to have a chance at all,” said one of the others.
No, thought Leon at all of them. No.
“Not now. There’s no time to do it properly,” said the leader.
Leon’s guard laughed. “Properly! Who the hell cares? He ought to get what’s coming to him. An eye for an eye—”
“He’ll get it all right,” said the leader darkly. “But I want to let him stew in his own juices. Let him think it over before we execute him.”
“The general said to let him go.”
“The general’s got a good heart, too good for the likes of this dog,” said the leader. “Perkins, you take our prisoner over to the abandoned mill and keep him there. We’ll say we got split up in the confusion and don’t know what’s become of you. See?”
Perkins grinned evilly, showing several missing teeth. “I see.”
“We’ll come back tonight and give him a trial.”
“I can have a little fun in the meantime, can’t I?” asked Perkins, still grinning.
The other two exchanged glances. “Mind you don’t kill him before we get a chance to help you,” said one.
“That’s right,” said the leader. “You keep him alive.”
“Oh, he’ll be alive.” Perkins caught Leon’s eye and removed his tricorne. He was missing his hair in front, and his skull was covered with a mass of red, terrible scars. “Half-scalped, I was, as a kid,” he told Leon. “When I got better, I learned myself how to do it.” He pulled out a wicked-looking knife. “I keep this sharp, all the time.”
Leon stared at him, and swallowed hard.
“Don’t scalp him till we get there,” said the leader. “If he’s messed up too much, he won’t know we’re hanging him. I want him scared of the rope, not grateful for it.”
“Aw,” said Perkins, disappointed, “it’s too hard you are.”
“There’s other parts to skin,” suggested the third man slyly. He and Perkins laughed, and the leader shook his head.
“I tell you, hold off until we come. You got that, Perkins?”
“Yes, sir,” said Perkins sullenly. He executed a sloppy salute, then glanced at Leon and winked.
In other circumstances Leon might have considered him a kindred spirit, but not now, not after the hitting, the jabbing, the too-tight ropes. Leon eyed him darkly, waiting for an opportunity.
The two men rode off and with a tug on the reins, Perkins led Leon deeper into the forest. Leon waited until the men were far from sight or hearing. He waited until Perkins led him up to a deserted grist mill. Part of the place had burned some time ago, from the looks of the charred timbers and overgrowth. The huge wooden wheel still hung poised over the stream below. Leon could hear the rush of water.
He concentrated, gathering all the evil strength inside himself to reach past Perkins’s darkness.
Perkins dismounted and ambled off to relieve himself. Then he returned, whistling tunelessly und
er his breath. Beneath his uniform his shirt was grimy. He hadn’t shaved in several days. The stink of him filled the crisp morning air.
Untie my hands.
Perkins squinted up at Leon and pulled him bodily off the horse. Leon went tumbling to the ground and landed hard on his side. He barely choked back a cry.
Chuckling, Perkins kicked him. “On your feet.”
Leon gnawed on the dirty gag and glared at him.
Perkins kicked him again. “On your feet.”
Leon squirmed around in the dirt and could not get his feet under him.
“Come on, come on,” said Perkins impatiently. He drew his knife and pressed the sharp tip to Leon’s back, right above his bound hands.
Leon felt a small trickle of his blood course down his spine.
Perkins poked harder. “I could slice right through your backbone with this blade, then your legs wouldn’t work. Or I could cut your hamstrings, and you’d never run again.” He touched the back of Leon’s knee, and Leon flinched. Perkins laughed. “Or, I could take some of your hair.”
He gripped the hair at the back of Leon’s skull. “Nice and black it is. I could say I took it off an Indian. Then the officers wouldn’t care as much.”
Leon cried out against the gag, and Perkins released him with a contemptuous shove of his face into the dirt.
“Aw, you’re a dirty, yellow-livered coward, is all. Mewing and whimpering. I want a good scream from you.”
Then take off the gag.
Cold metal touched Leon’s cheek. He flinched, rolling his eyes to see the wide blade of the knife pressed against the side of his face. With a rapid flick, the knife sliced through the rag, and Leon spat it out.
Perkins kicked him in the ribs. “Scream, redcoat!”
Leon wanted to scream but with fury, not fear. This man was as cunning as he, as ruthless as he, as evil as he. He could not penetrate Perkins’s sense of purpose, which was to inflict as much pain on him as possible.
For a moment Leon was tempted to negotiate, to plead. Then he caught himself up short. Was he mad? That was exactly the sort of thing Noel would attempt, and he was not Noel. He would never be Noel.
Self-disgust choked him. He had been contaminated when he had shared thoughts with Noel. To think he had actually taken pity—pity—on Noel and helped him. It was nauseating.
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