by Raye Morgan
The look on his face was stubborn and not at all friendly. “She’s too young to understand what the heck I’d be talking about.”
“That doesn’t matter. And you never know how much children absorb.”
He backed away, not accepting her touch. “No, Kelly. It’s just not a good idea.”
She searched his eyes. Anger was simmering in him just below the surface. She really wasn’t sure why this should make him angry. He’d loved Angie. Angie was Mei’s mother. What could be more natural than to tell her what her mother was like?
“It’s your call, of course, but it just seems to me that talking about her mother, talking with open affection, would help draw her in, help make her feel like this is part of a continuum and not such a strange place, after all.”
He shook his head, eyes stormy. “I think you’re nuts.”
“But Joe…”
“I’m not going to…to talk about…Angie,” he said, his voice rough. “I can’t.”
Kelly’s heart twisted and she licked her dry lips. He couldn’t? She felt a surge of compassion, but still, that didn’t seem right. He was the sort of man who could do anything. Was there more here than she knew? Obviously.
But there was also more at stake. Mei came first.
Still, Kelly couldn’t ignore his outrage. What was she doing here? The last thing she wanted to do was torture him more. And yet she couldn’t help feeling that he was going at this all wrong. Avoiding pain was often the best way to bring it on at the worst possible time. Her instinct was to try to nudge him out of the self-indulgence of his grief.
Wow, had she really thought that? Pretty tough stuff. And yet she stood by it. After all, his comfort wasn’t what was important anymore. He had a child to think of. He had to do what was best for Mei.
“Okay.” Kelly turned back toward the high chair. “As I said, it’s your call. If you can’t get beyond the pain, there’s no point, I guess.”
He didn’t answer and he didn’t meet her gaze. She spent the next few minutes cleaning up Mei’s tray and taking her out of the chair, talking softly to her all the time. He stood with his back against the counter, arms folded, looking out through the French doors toward the sliver of ocean visible in the distance. As she walked out, holding Mei’s hand while she toddled alongside her, he didn’t say a word.
He knew he’d hurt Kelly by his abrupt response, but it couldn’t be helped. He felt angry, though not at her. He was pretty damn bitter at life in general. Self-pity wasn’t his usual mode, but sometimes the enormity of it all came down on him and he couldn’t shake it until it had worked its way through his system. This was one of those times.
Of course, Kelly had no way of knowing that every time he looked at Mei, he saw Angie. And right now, every time he saw Angie in his mind, he saw her dying right in front of him. He knew he had to get over it. He had to wipe the pain and shock and ugliness from his soul so that he could deal with this bright, new, wonderful child.
Kelly thought Mei’s obvious rejection of him hurt. And of course, it wasn’t fun to be rebuffed by a sweet little child like that. But he didn’t blame Mei at all. She sensed his ambivalence, the way he felt torn and twisted inside, the way he almost winced every time he looked at her, and she reacted to it, as any sensitive, intelligent child would. It was going to take time for both of them.
Meanwhile he had Kelly’s strange little project of convincing him that he was a prince of a funny little country he couldn’t care less about to deal with. The whole thing could have been genuinely annoying if she weren’t such a sweetheart. He had to admit, she wasn’t exactly hard to look at, either. In fact, he was learning to like her quite a lot.
Moving restlessly, he gave himself a quick lecture on his attitude, ending with a resolution to be nicer to Kelly. Funny thing was, he knew right away it wouldn’t be hard at all.
Kelly played with the little girl in her room for the next hour, helping her try out all the toys, and reading to her from a couple of the soft, padded books. Every few minutes, Mei would get up and run around the room, whooping to her own little tune, as though she had untapped energy that needed using up. She was bright, quick and interested in everything. So far she wasn’t saying much, but Kelly had a feeling once the floodgates opened, words would come pouring out, even if they weren’t understandable to anyone but the child herself.
Kelly spent some time reorganizing the shelves and finding interesting things packed away there, including some pictures and souvenirs that told a story better than Joe had been doing so far.
When Mei fell asleep over her book, Kelly wasn’t surprised. She was still very tired from her long trip the day before. Kelly tucked her into bed, picked up a couple of items and went back out.
Joe was taking care of some bills on the Internet, and she waited until he logged off.
“What’s up?” he asked, and she was pleased to see his eyes had lost the sheen of vague hostility they’d had when she’d seen him last.
“Mei fell asleep, but she won’t be out long. I thought this would be a good time to plan a walk down to the beach.”
“Do you think she’s ready for that?”
“Sure. I think it would be really exciting for her.” She gave him a smile. “Just think of your first time seeing the ocean.”
“Kelly, she just came in on a plane over the Pacific,” he reminded her.
“But that’s not the same as up close and personal.”
“No. You’re right.” He frowned, looking at her. “Will you be able to carry her? You know she still won’t let me do it.”
“Why would I carry her,” she asked with an impish look, “when you’ve got that huge baby stroller?” She’d seen it standing in the hallway. “It would be a crime to let it go to waste. Like having a Porsche and letting it sit in the driveway.”
“Oh.” He grinned at the analogy. “That’s right. I forgot all about it.” His blue eyes softened as he looked at her, his gaze traveling over her face and taking in the whole of her. “Did anybody ever tell you that you brighten a room just by being in it?” he asked softly.
“No,” she said, but felt a certain glow at that.
He shook his head, obviously liking what he saw. “I wonder why not.”
She liked this man. How could she not? But liking him too much would be fraught with all sorts of dangers, she knew. She had to be very careful to keep things light and impersonal as much as possible.
“Probably because the whole concept is pure fantasy on your part,” she said, trying to stick to her intentions with a little good-natured teasing.
But for once, he wasn’t really cooperating. Instead of joining in the mockery, his look became more intense.
“No, it’s not.” Reaching out, he touched her curly hair, and his smile was wistful for a moment. “Tell me why you came looking for me, Kelly. Why you spent so much time watching me. I still don’t understand it.”
She looked up into his eyes. How could she explain? Did he really want to hear about her work at the Ambrian News Agency, about how her parents had raised her with a love of Ambria, how she’d studied the royal family for over a year before she saw his picture and knew instantly that he looked remarkably like one of the missing Ambrian princes would at this age? About how she’d fought everyone in her agency for this assignment, and then finally decided to come out on her own time, on her own money, to see for herself if what her intuition had told her was really true?
She might as well cut right to the chase.
“I work for an agency that gathers intelligence.”
“What kind of intelligence?”
“Information. Things of interest to the exiled Ambrian community.”
He frowned. “Why are they exiled?”
“Because of the people who took over Ambria twenty-five years ago. The coup was pretty bloody, but a lot of people escaped. There’s a rather large group of us living in this country. More are scattered all over Europe.”
He nodded, se
eming to think that over. “So these folks who took over—are they some sort of oppressive regime?”
“Absolutely.”
“Hmm. So what do you do at this agency? Don’t tell me you’re a secret agent—an undercover operative, perhaps?”
She glared at him. “What if I am?”
He grinned. “Well, there’s really nothing I can say that wouldn’t get me into trouble on that one. So I’ll just keep my thoughts to myself.”
“Don’t worry. I’m not an agent. I’m an analyst.”
“That’s a relief.” He paused. “So what does an analyst do?”
“I pretty much sit in a room and read articles in newspapers and magazines, and try to figure out what is actually going on in Ambria. I analyze information and write reports for policy makers.”
“Sounds like a great job. But what does this have to do with me?”
She gave him a wise look. “Over time, I’ve developed a theory about you.”
“You’re not the first.”
She hid her smile. “I’m sure I’m not.”
He looked at her quizzically. “How about a short wrap-up on this theory thing? I’ve got to get going on some more paperwork, and I don’t have time for anything long and involved.”
She shook her head. “Never mind. You’ll just laugh. Again.”
“Laugh at you? Never.”
Enough people had already laughed about her theory. For some reason, Kelly couldn’t stand mockery from him right now. She had to be on firmer ground with her ideas of his being Ambrian royalty before she told him the whole story. He’d already told her she was crazy to think he might be an Ambrian prince. She wasn’t going to go into that again right now. But she could try to get him to understand why she wanted so much to unravel this mystery.
“Do you ever do crossword puzzles?” she asked him.
He nodded. “There was a period of time during my recuperation when I felt like I was a prisoner in that hospital bed. But I had my crossword puzzles, and that was all I did, night and day.”
She smiled. “So you know what it’s like when you’re almost finished with a puzzle, all except for one block of words. You look the hints up, you try different things, nothing works right. You try to put it aside and forget it, but you can’t. No matter what you do or where you go that day, you keep fooling with that puzzle, trying different answers out in your mind. And then, suddenly, a piece of the tangle becomes clear and you think you have the key to the whole thing.” She looked at him expectantly. “Has that ever happened to you?”
“Sure. All the time.”
“You’re so certain you have the correct answer,” she went on, driving home her point, “but you can’t prove it until you go back and find the puzzle and write in the words and see for yourself. Right?”
“Sure.”
She threw out her hands. “That’s what I’m doing here. I’m trying to prove I found the right answer to the puzzle.”
He nodded, frowning thoughtfully at the same time. “So tell me, am I the answer or the puzzle?”
She grinned at him. “Both right now.”
Their gazes met and held, and she felt her pulse begin to race in her veins. There was something between them. She could feel it. All her stern warnings to herself about not getting involved melted away. She wanted to kiss him. That desire grew in her quickly and was stronger than she’d ever felt it. Every part of her wanted to reach out to him, to come closer, to hold on and feel the heat. Attraction was evolving into compulsion. Her brain was closing off and her senses were sharpening. His warm, beautiful mouth was becoming her only focus.
Joe looked down at her eyes, her skin, her lips, and he was suddenly overwhelmed with the urge to kiss her. Would she stop him? It wouldn’t be that unusual if he were to try to lose this lingering unhappiness in a woman’s love.
Well, “love” would be asking a bit much at this stage. How about losing it in a woman’s warm, soft body? Not unusual—it happened all the time. What if he took her in his arms and held her close and let his male instincts come back to life…?
He looked into her eyes again and saw the questions there, but also saw the hint of acceptance. Reaching out, he slipped his hand behind her head, his fingers in her hair, and began to pull her toward him. Her eyes widened, but she didn’t resist. His gaze settled on her mouth, and he felt a quick, strong pulse of desire, taking his breath away.
For the moment, she was his for the asking. But what gave him the right to be asking? This wasn’t the way it should be. She deserved better. She deserved real love, and that was something he couldn’t give her.
What the hell was he doing? Had he lost all sense of decency and self-control? He pulled his hand back and, instead of kissing her, turned away without a word. He felt nothing but self-loathing.
Kelly stood very still, watching him go, feeling such a deep, empty sense of loss that she ached with it. He’d been about to kiss her. What had stopped him? She knew very well what ought to keep her from kissing him. But what was his excuse?
Taking a deep, cleansing breath, she turned back toward Mei’s room and tried to calm her emotions, settle her jumping nerves. If kissing was out, she might as well start preparing for their walk.
CHAPTER SIX
THE SUN SHONE on everything. There wasn’t a hint of fog. The sky was blue and the ocean was even bluer. It was a beautiful day.
“I see why they call it the Golden State,” Kelly noted. “Everything seems to shimmer with gold on a day like this.”
Joe nodded, gazing out to sea and pulling fresh sea air deep into his lungs. He loved the beach. Turning, he glanced at Kelly. She looked good here, as if she belonged.
“I called Angie’s family in the Philippines,” he told her. “They say they have no idea what happened to the nanny. I got the impression that they couldn’t care less.”
“You’d think they would want to know Mei was okay.”
He sighed. “It’s a long story, Kelly. Angie’s family didn’t ever like me much, and they act like they’ve written Mei off now that she’s with me.” He shrugged. “But that’s a problem for another time.”
Kelly couldn’t imagine how anyone could see Mei and want to forget her. But she quickly pushed that aside. Mei took up all her attention at the moment.
As they strolled down the promenade, Mei sat like a little princess, watching everything with huge eyes. She didn’t cringe when Joe came near anymore, but she definitely wanted Kelly to be in her range of vision at all times, and would call out if she lost sight of her. She loved the ocean. When they took her close enough to see the waves, she bounced up and down with excitement and clapped her hands.
Mei was a treat to watch, and Kelly glanced at Joe every so often to make sure he was enjoying it, too. He gave every indication of growing pride in his adorable child.
“Look at how smart she is,” he kept saying. “See how she knows what that is? See how she called the dog over? See how she stops and thinks before she calls you?”
She did all those things. The trouble was, she didn’t call him. And Kelly knew that was breaking his heart.
They bought tacos at a food stand for lunch, then stopped by a viewing platform to sit down and eat them. Kelly had brought along some baby food in a jar for Mei. The child took the food willingly enough, but then would forget to swallow. There was just too much to look at. She didn’t have time for the distractions.
They finished eating, and when they weren’t staring at the wild and beautiful surf, they sat back and watched Mei watch the people strolling by.
“I’ve never been to Ambria,” Kelly told Joe. “But from the pictures I’ve seen, the beaches look a lot like this.”
He turned to glance at her, then sighed and leaned back as though getting ready for a long ordeal.
“Okay, Kelly,” he said, as if giving in on something he’d been fighting. “Lay it on me. Tell me all about Ambria. I’m going to need the basics. I really don’t know a thing.”
She gazed at him, suddenly hit by the awesome responsibility he’d given her. If he really was the prince and she was going to be the person who introduced him to his country, she’d better get this right.
Clearing her throat, she searched her memory wildly, trying to think of the best way to approach this.
“Nothing fancy,” he warned. “And don’t take forever. Just the facts, ma’am.”
She took a deep breath and decided to start at the beginning. “Okay. Here goes.” She put on a serious face. “You know where Ambria is located. And you know it’s a relatively isolated island nation. The DeAngelis family ruled the country for hundreds of years, starting in the days of the Holy Roman Empire, when the Crusades were just beginning. Their monarchy was one of the longest standing ever. Until twenty-five years ago, when it ended.”
“And why did it end?” he asked, sounding interested despite himself.
“The vicious Granvilli clan had been their rivals for years and years. Most of their plots had failed, but finally, they got lucky. They invaded under the guise of popular liberation, gained a foothold and burned the castle. The royal family had to flee for their lives.”
“Yikes,” he murmured, frowning.
“Yikes, indeed,” she responded, leaning forward. “They sent their children into hiding with other families sworn to secrecy. The king and queen…” She paused, realizing she might be talking about his parents. “They were killed, but only after having arranged for it to be widely believed that all their children had been killed, as well.”
“So as to keep them safe from the Granvillis,” he said softly, absorbing it all.
“Yes. If the Granvillis knew they were still alive, they would have tried to find them and kill them, to wipe out any natural opposition to their rule. That’s why the children are called the lost princes.”
“How many are there?”
“There were five sons and two daughters, but no one knows how many might have survived.”