'Thanks. You are the leader?' I repeated doggedly.
'We don't have a leader. But I brought the group together. They listen to me. They know I have the best balance and fitness. And I can do two styles – retiarius and secretor – plus I'm working up Thracian too.'
I whistled. Not many male gladiators could offer three fighting styles.
'Want to try me out?' she beamed.
'No. I've been thwacked enough for one day.'
'Yes, mummy's boy has made himself all tired and grubby with the fat lady… Come here and I'll make you feel better.' Chloris stretched, limbering up for an hour's hard workout on me. The mere thought was dispiriting.
She meant it. She thought that I wanted what she wanted, as women do. You could make a philosophical treatise out of it but I was too preoccupied with staying out of reach. 'Look, I'm appalled to be so feeble, but I'm far too hungry, Chloris. I'm no use to you. I just couldn't concentrate.'
'Oh you haven't changed.' She thought I was teasing. Dangerously, she enjoyed the thought. 'It's make up your mind time!'
'Oh Chloris, surely you're not going to say, it's screwing me or eating?'
'Sounds a good choice!' She jumped up and came for me. There was no time even to gulp before she was winding herself around me as only an acrobat can. If I had forgotten what that felt like, memory soon surged back. 'So which is it, darling?' she chortled.
I sighed with what might pass for polite regret. 'Look, I'm absolutely starving. May I have some dinner, please?'
Chloris punched me in the kidneys, though it was a loose, wild swipe that only did partial damage. She flounced from the room. I collapsed, sweating. Then, as I had thought she would, she had a tray sent in to me. I chose my old girlfriends pretty well. There had never been malice in Chloris.
'Later" she had promised meaningfully as she strode off.
O Mercury, patron of travellers – either get me out of this, or just smite me dead so I don't know that its happening! In Rome I was Procurator of the Sacred Geese and Chickens. O Mercury, never let Chloris discover that! Now I myself was a soft little pullet in my cage, being fattened up. I munched dutifully. I would need my strength.
You don't mix it with a gladiator. Besides, she was a wonderful armful and I certainly knew it. Once I would have let myself be persuaded without a struggle. There was too much at stake now. I had moved on – way, way into another life. Face to face with what was expected from my old self, I felt awkward. I had loyalties nowadays; I had new standards. As Petronius Longus had said to Maia earlier, once you make huge decisions you cannot go back. The shock is the way other people fail to see how much you have altered. After the shock comes the danger. When those people think they know you inside out, you start to doubt yourself.
She must be impatient. I had barely eaten my solitary victuals when a couple of the women came for me.
'Ah Heraclea, he's looking worried again.'
'Well, I'm scared!' I grinned good-humouredly, as if I thought I was being roped in for a themed orgy. Heraclea and her companion exchanged glances, no doubt aware that Chloris had plans. I could not tell how they felt about it but I knew they would not intervene.
'You're in real trouble,' they promised me. Even at that point apprehension of the deepest kind was called for.
When they brought me back to the enclosed garden area, Chloris was waiting for me. She met me with a beaming smile. She wound herself around me, as she drew me into the garden, promising, 'Have I got a wonderful surprise for you, darling!'
It seemed best to accept the promise with a tolerant smile. That was before she led me around a statue to the centre of the group and I saw just how treacherous a promise it was.
The women were all here. They had fallen silent as Chloris brought me into view, waiting to see what would happen. At the last minute, but too late to alter anything, I had heard another very familiar female voice. I had Chloris hanging off my arm and nibbling on my ear, while I wore an expression that can only have looked like pure guilt. Helena was here.
Albia, who was standing beside her, must somehow have found her and said I was a prisoner. Helena would have fearlessly broached a house full of women. She must have rushed here in a hurry, for she had even brought the children. She had come to try to rescue me – but her eyes told me if she had known in advance about Chloris I would have been left to my fate.
'Well here he is!' exclaimed Helena Justina, companion of my bed and heart. She used the sing-song voice that is supposed to reassure small children who are anxious in strange surroundings and who fear a parent has got lost. She was a good mother. Neither Julia, who was sitting on the grass, nor the baby in her arms would sense whatever emotions Helena herself felt. I was really lost now and I knew it.
She did look impressive. A tall dark-haired woman, making conversation with these professional fighters as if she moved among females who were outside society all the time. Like Albia at her side, she wore blue but in several well-dyed shades, the material draped around her body with unconscious elegance. Lapis and pearl earrings said she had money; the lack of other jewellery added that she need not crudely flaunt her wealth. She seemed confident and forthright.
'Helena, my soul!'
Her dark eyes fixed me. Her voice was carefully tuned. 'Your children were missing you, Marcus! And here you are like Hercules diverting himself among Queen Omphale's women. Do be careful. Hercules was suspected ever afterwards of too much liking for women's dress.'
'I am wearing my own clothes,' I murmured.
Her glance flicked over me. 'So you are,' she commented insultingly.
Arms wide and screaming with glee, Julia Junilla hurtled up to see me. When I picked up my little thunderbolt she devised a boisterous game of climbing head-first down inside my tunic. It was already a gaping neck-hole where the threads had run in mighty ladders and the braid had torn. This was the final indignity. I just stood and let myself become gymnastic equipment for my two-year-old.
'So!' Helena then exclaimed, her gaze resolutely finding Chloris. 'Have you finished with him? Can I take him home?'
'You've married your mother!' Chloris accused me, not bothering to lower her voice.
'I don't think so,' I said. 'I can handle my mother.'
Tired of being choked, I wrestled Julia back upright. For once, she subsided and lay looking out at the women with her curly head on my shoulder in a way that made her pretty cute. Hands reached to pet and tickle her, amidst oohs and ahs.
The situation changed. Chloris was bright enough to see that her companions had been swayed by the sight of us as a family group; breaking us up would do her more harm than good. 'It's been lovely having you, but you had best run along home now, Marcus.'
Chloris walked us to the door. She did her best to sour the situation further. 'Well, he makes good babies, I can see.'
It implied that Helena was just my breeding mare. Neither of us took the bait. 'I hope I haven't caused you too much trouble, Marcus, darling,' she said sweetly.
'You were always trouble.'
'And you were…'
'What?'
'Oh – I'll tell you next time we're alone.' Helena was seething, as she was meant to. 'Now off you go, darling…' mouthed Chloris maliciously. 'Don't be too hard on him, Helena my dear. Men have to follow their willies, you know.'
Helena Justina then pulled off her best effort. Standing in the street, she said, 'Of course they do.' She smiled. It was polite. It showed the power of her upbringing. 'That was what brought him to me.'
Albia had bent to unfasten Nux, who had been left outside tied to a wooden post. She threw me a scared look, then let the dog drag her along well ahead of us.
'Thanks for the rescue.'
'I heard you were kidnapped!' Helena retorted. 'If it had been mentioned that you had become a willing sex toy, I would not have interfered.'
'Settle down.'
'Who exactly was that, Marcus darling?'
'A crowd-pulling gladiatrix call
ed Amazonia.' I came clean. 'In a previous career she was a circus rope-dancer.'
'Oh her!'
'I always had good taste,' I growled. 'That's why I went for you.'
Helena Justina, with the full power of her breeding, let it be known that she was unimpressed.
I felt like a man who had just made a choice. That is always depressing, for some reason.
No wonder I was feeling low. I was now carrying two tired children through darkened streets whose ambience I did not trust, alongside an extremely silent wife.
XXVI
I took the children to the nursery and put them into their cribs myself. This looked like a ploy. I couldn't help that. Their mother rather pointedly opted out.
I found Helena afterwards, just as I expected, on her own. She was seated in a wrap-around chair pretending not to care. That was an act. She was waiting for me to come and find her. I had made hasty preparations. I even bathed rapidly; never have an argument with a woman when you know she is scented sweetly with cinnamon but you really stink. Lest my clean-up look too calculated, I then rushed off to find her barefoot and I forgot to comb my hair. The eager lover, with the endearing tousled look: tonight I had to throw in every lousy gambit.
I lowered myself to a couch, staying upright with an elbow propped on the end arm. 'Want to hear about my day?'
I kept it brief. I kept it factual. Near the beginning, when I described taking out Albia, Helena interrupted, 'You did not consult me.'
'I did wrong there.'
'You are the man of the household,' she commented sarcastically.
I plodded on with the story. She listened, but never looked at me…' At that point the gladiator girls took me into custody by force. The rest you know.'
I sat exhausted. It felt good to be clean and in a fresh tunic. Dangerous too; this was no moment to relax and nod off. I might as well pass out in the middle of making love. A subject I was not too tired to think about – but a pleasure I would not be given tonight.
When Helena finally looked up, I was gazing back at her peacefully. The love in my expression was natural; she should believe that. I had never known anyone like her. I studied her face, every line familiar from that fiercely jutting chin to the heavy, knitted eyebrows. After we came home she had quickly re-done her hair; I could tell from the new arrangement of the knobbed bone pins. She saw me work that out, wanting to hate me for being so observant. She had changed her ear-rings too. The lapis danglers always made her ears sore; she now wore smaller gold ones.
'Want to hear about my day?' Ever the fighter, Helena challenged me.
'Love to.'
'I won't bother you with the tedious round of morning and afternoon duties.' Thank Jove for that.
'I am always intrigued by your wide social range, Helena,' I reproved her gently.
'That doesn't sound like you.'
'No, it sounds like a pompous donkey,' I said. 'But this isn't you either. I suspect you have things to tell me.'
Helena Justina wanted very badly to hurl a cushion in my direction, but she kept her dignity. Her long hands were clasped firmly in her lap, to stop herself. 'Did you find out what those women were doing in the street when they broke up your tussle with the brothel-keeper? Or were you too busy fooling with Chloris to ask any useful questions?'
I felt my teeth set. 'You, however, did ask them?'
'I managed a few enquiries while I was enduring their company.' She did not actually say coldly, while you were frolicking in the love nest. "There is a businessman trying to take over their group. He is being too pushy and they do not welcome it. They work without a manager and they don't want to pay a cut to someone else.'
I wondered if this was the gangster Petronius was looking for. 'What's his name?'
'I never asked. All he wants is to exploit them. They know he runs brothels too,' Helena told me. 'So when you tried to help Albia escape they weighed in. They told me you needed them!'
'That's a cheap jibe, from you and them.'
Helena Justina had always been fair. She was silent for a moment, then agreed, 'Albia told me the old woman was horrible.'
'Right.'
'Albia is very upset by what happened. I still have to prise the full story out of her.'
A silence fell. Once Helena would have checked whether I had been hurt, looking me over for blood and bruising. No chance today.
'Anything else to tell me, fruit?'
She managed not to say don't call me that! Instead, she pretended not to notice.
'Why did you bring the children?'
'You didn't come home. We all went out to look for you.' Unsaid, was her panic. Rather than mention it to anyone at the residence, she had searched the streets herself. When she met Albia and heard I was in trouble, she must have clutched the children and ran.
'You're crazy, love. Next time tell your uncle and do it properly.'
'They were all still busy at dinner. We had a fascinating group of visitors.' I waited to hear more. 'Norbanus came again, clearly to moon around Maia. I think we all expected that to happen. Maia seemed rather distracted but he took it politely. He behaves like a nice man.'
'I make a distinction,' I observed drily, 'between when you say someone is nice – and when you phrase it that he only seems that way.'
'Norbanus appears to be genuine,' Helena said.
'If he's keen on Maia, I hope he is. But it's always possible he may be the big mover that Petronius is chasing.'
Helena was too intrigued to fight now. 'Surely Norbanus is too obvious. "Looking for property opportunities", as he claims to be, just shouts that here's a man who could be an extortionist. But if so, he would disguise his interest.'
'You would think so. But such types do like to show their faces at the highest functions. They hover in legitimate circles, fooling themselves that they get away with it. Well, often enough they do.'
'It's there they meet people who have influence,' Helena said.
'And important women! They don't all glue themselves to molls with bright hair and corn-bushels of jewellery. Some hanker for females with fortunes and grand pedigrees. The women seem to go for it. The more glorious a reputation their ancestors sweated for, the quicker it is thrown away. If the Emperor had a daughter alive, she'd be good prey.'
'I'd like to see Vespasian deal with that!' Helena rather admired him. I reckoned the outlook could be dirty.
'So who else came to present themselves to Frontinus and Uncle Gaius this fine evening?'
'More importers wondering if they should be wearing togas – and a lawyer hoping for new clients.'
'If Britain now attracts speculative barristers, it's all over. Civilisation has come – with its misery and expense.'
'He could be the criminal,' Helena insisted.
'He could indeed. Did he have gold rings made of solid nuggets? Was he protected by large men with cudgels? What's his name?'
'Popillius!'
'I must take a look at him.'
'Should that not be a job for Petronius?'
'Why should he have all the fun? If I think this partygoer looks promising, then I'll shove Petro in the right direction.'
'You know best.'
'Don't be like that.'
There seemed to be no more to say. I confessed that I was deeply weary and must go to bed. Though on the surface we had talked normally, Helena gave no sign that she was joining me.
When I reached the door I turned back and said quietly, 'I have never talked to anyone the way I do with you.' Helena said nothing. I had made it worse. 'I did nothing wrong. I'm sorry if you think I did.'
I had known how she felt. This was when she finally started showing it. 'Well, Falco. The point is, we both know that you might have done.'
I could say nothing. The matter had been settled by her presence. But if Helena had not intervened – who knows?
Alone in bed, for hours I barely slept. Eventually I roused groggily from light slumber and felt sure Helena had crept her way int
o the room. She had silently occupied a distant chair. Though it came with a footstool, a faint glimmer through the open shutters told me she was bunched up, hugging her knees. By now she must have realised how uncomfortable that was, but when my breathing changed she stopped fidgeting.
Well she was here. But that was unavoidable. We were staying in someone else's house. There were scores of rooms to go off to if you quarrelled with your husband, but also scores of gossipy slaves making forays everywhere. Helena would be embarrassed if anyone should know our current state.
'Come over here.' It sounded more angry than I meant. No answer. Was I surprised? Next time I judged the tone better: 'Come to bed, love… I'll have to come and get you then.'
She would not accept that. Slowly she shuffled over and climbed in. Relieved, I fell asleep momentarily. Luckily I woke again.
'Snuggle up with me.'
'No,' she said, on principle.
With a grunt I rolled over and captured her, folding her in a chaste, fully clothed embrace against my heart. 'This is all over nothing, love.'
Men might argue, such occasions always are. Women would say that arguments over nothing are in fact over everything.
So we lay there, Helena still rigid and resisting. She was right to some extent. Even then as I nursed her through her misery, I was thinking about another woman – so in one sense I did betray her. How could I not remember, though? Chloris and I had dallied in lust and it had ended badly, all before I ever dreamed of meeting anyone like Helena. Had I not then happened to come to Britain, when Helena Justina happened to be over here, she and I never would have met.
I was a man. When I encountered an old girlfriend, I became romantically nostalgic (do women not do this?) But it was Helena I was holding in my arms tonight and I had no wish to change that.
At last I stopped reminiscing. Before I drifted off to sleep, I thought about a woman fondly for a little longer. That time if anyone was betrayed, it was not Helena.
XXVII
In the morning the fight still lay like heavy wet flock tall around us. Helena rose by herself, made a brisk toilet, and ate breakfast in our room. That was to avoid prying questions at the communal buffet. She offered me nothing, but left enough on the tray if I wanted it. Sulking, I chose to go down to the dining room.
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