by Cj Howard
“Okay, as long as I’m on your radar somewhere.” He gave her a wink and left her in the room. She picked up the sonogram print out that he gave her and stared at the pictures. They were pictures of her and Cameron’s daughter, though there was no way to see that in the images that he gave her. She chewed on her lower lip, coming up with a plan.
Patting her belly, she said quietly, “We’re going to keep you a secret little one. He can’t see from these pictures, and you and I aren’t going to tell him yet. We’re not going to tell him unless he brings it up and asks, and then we will, but hopefully between now and then I can convince him that it doesn’t matter if you’re a girl. Then everything will be alright.”
She drove to his office after her doctor appointment and went up the stairs again. The receptionist waved hello to her and told her to go on in. Cameron was happy to see her, coming around his desk to hug her warmly.
“So? How did it go?” he asked, anxious to hear the news. “I was thinking that if it’s alright, I’d like to go with you one of these times.”
She nodded and smiled, thinking that she was lucky that he hadn’t been there that day, or he’d already know that it was a girl, and she needed time to convince him that gender didn’t matter.
“It went really well! The baby is growing just as it should, and it’s healthy. I’m doing well, although I’m measuring a little bigger in the belly than most women at this stage, but that’s fine. Part of that is where the baby is sitting, so I looked bigger than most ladies at five and a half months.” She laughed and patted her round belly.
He shrugged. “I think you look beautiful, don’t you worry at all about that.”
She held up the sonogram for him to see and he came to stand next to her to look at it. His hand drew near to hers as she was showing him the outline of the baby and explaining to him what he was looking at.
Jasmine could feel the heat from his body against her and she could smell the clean fresh scent of him. Every one of her senses became heightened, and she wanted to turn to face him, but she knew that if she did, she would want to be nearer to him, to kiss him, and she knew that that couldn’t happen.
He brushed her hand with his and felt a tingle go through him. He wanted to hold her hand, and wanted to take her in his arms, but he told himself that he had no business thinking of her that way. She was the surrogate mother of his child, and nothing more.
“That’s fantastic.” he said, stepping away from her just as she turned to look at him. Her eyes met his and his breath caught in his chest. Looking away, he walked back around to the other side of his desk and took a seat. “I love the photographs, and I’m so glad that all of the news is good about the baby.”
“Yeah, I am too.” she said, suddenly feeling bad that she had wanted to kiss him a moment earlier. She realized that it must just be the hormones that she was feeling and she told herself that all she needed was some fresh air and she’d be alright.
“Well, I should be going. I know you’re busy here, and I have some errands to run before it gets too late,” she said with a casual voice and a wave of her hand.
He agreed, waving and smiling at her. “That sounds good. Thank you for coming in today. I’ll see you soon.”
She left with a smile, and she sighed and closed her eyes as she rode the elevator down to the first floor. She knew that she had to stop thinking about him that way. It had become an uncertain navigation for her, as their friendship grew and so too did her thoughts about him as a man rather than as a father. She pushed them away every time they came up, but they were coming with more regularity, and when he stood as near to her as he had in his office minutes before, she tended to forget that they were business partners first and friends second.
Two days later she got a call from Cameron, and she was thrilled to hear from him as she hadn’t heard from him since she had left his office and she wondered if he had felt the awkwardness that had come over her during their visit.
“Cam! I’m so glad to hear from you!” she smiled, unable to stop herself from feeling the bubble of happiness that swelled up in her.
“I hope I’m finding you at a good time. I had an idea and I was wondering if you’d be willing to do something for me. I’d consider it a big personal favor, if you wouldn’t mind.” He sounded slightly apprehensive, but very determined.
She laughed and smiled. “Of course, whatever I can do for you, just name it.”
“Well, after looking at those pictures that you brought in, I got to thinking that it would be nice if I could have a professional photographer take some maternity photos of you while you’re pregnant. My son might want to know someday what his mother looked like while she was pregnant with him, and I know it would mean a great deal to me just to have the documentation of the pregnancy for photo albums and years to come. What do you think? Would you mind if we did a photo shoot for the baby with a professional photographer?” he sounded so hopeful.
She blinked a few times in surprise. “Of course, that sounds like a great idea. I’d be so glad to do that for you.”
“Wonderful! If it’s alright I can pick you up this weekend, we’ll go to the studio and she’ll take the shots and then we’ll be all set.” It was clear that he was thoroughly pleased.
Jasmine chewed at her lower lip, wondering if it was awful of her not to tell him that it was a girl she was carrying and not a boy. She still hadn’t told him and she was hoping to put it off as long as she could. She knew that the news wasn’t going to be well received, and she wanted some time to try to talk him into being happy with a healthy baby, no matter the gender of it.
“I’ll see you this weekend. Just text me the day and time and I’ll be ready,” she replied pleasantly.
They said goodbye and she told herself that she was going to have to act fast to convince him that a girl was just as good as a boy, because they were running out of time. She found herself wondering again what gender baby Eva was going to have, and she felt a twinge of jealously rise up in her, hoping that the other woman wasn’t carrying the boy that Cameron wanted so badly.
Saturday came and midway through the day, Cameron arrived to take her to the photo shoot. He had texted her that she would need a few different clothing styles for the different images that the photographer wanted to get.
She had brought a couple of dresses and a skirt and blouse. Cameron had told her that that was fine.
They got to the studio and saw a beautiful set up waiting for them. There were several backdrops including one with a rocking chair in a mock nursery, as well as one with a bed all set with crisp white linens and a thick white comforter with a soft little green baby blanket. There was a bouquet of helium balloons and on the bottom of them a pair of tiny baby shoes was tied.
The photographer explained that most of the focus of the photographs would be on the baby and mother, though she did explain that there would be some with both Cameron and Jasmine in them. She did those first, showing a close up of Cameron’s hands on the round belly, and then another with both Cameron and Jasmine’s hands on the belly.
She did some with Cameron kissing the belly, and some with Cameron standing behind Jasmine holding her. During those shots, she did her best to keep her thoughts of him at bay, though it wasn’t easy for her. The photographer had her lean her head back into his neck as he stood behind her holding her with his arms around her and his hands on her belly. She knew they were going to be beautiful pictures, but being that close to him and feeling his body against hers made her think things that she had promised herself that she would stop thinking about.
Cameron was doing his best to keep his own mind off her, and try to focus on the baby. When the photographer had him kiss her belly, it was all he could do to keep his mask on and follow instructions. When his lips touched her skin, he closed his eyes and in the back of his mind all he could think was that he wished that he was doing that without the photographer there.
When the couple’s shots were done, the phot
ographer took some images of her sitting in the rocking chair reading a bedtime story, holding a teddy bear with her hand on her belly, and then some with her holding on to the balloons. She put Cameron back into the shots for that, with one of them on either side of the balloons, each of them holding on to the ribbons with the baby shoes beneath their hands and the helium balloons above them.
The photographer told Jasmine that she was going to do shots of her alone, and Jasmine was grateful for it. She had Jasmine lay down on the bed and hold her belly, and then she told her that she would do bare belly shots. She got images of Jasmine’s hands on the belly and different images of the belly at different angles and in different positions laying down and sitting up. She then had Jasmine remove her top and she draped some gauzy material over her breasts.
Jasmine felt like she had somehow become a Greek statue, standing there bare, with the material draped strategically around her. She couldn’t make herself look at Cameron during the shots at first, but she felt a pull to him and finally she looked up to see him staring at her with an expression so raw that it took her breath away. She had never seen him look at her that way, and it drew a warmth up in her that she had not felt in a very long time.
She looked away, trying to focus on anything else but him, listening more closely to the photographer and trying to keep her mind off of what was stirring in her body. The photographer helped her discreetly lower the material from her breasts, asking her to cover her nipples with her hands and leaving her belly bare. She did, and all the while she wanted to look away from Cameron, but he continued to stare at her, and it felt to her like a magnet drawing her in.
She looked up at him and met his gaze, staring back at him as the photographer worked between them. It was easily the most erotic moment of her life, and she hoped that none of that would show in the photographs after they came out.
When that part of the session was over, the photographer announced that she was done with all that she had to do, and she left them alone in the studio so that Jasmine could get dressed again. After the photographer left them, she went behind a curtain and pulled one of her dresses on.
She came back out to see Cameron watching her silently, with that same intense expression on his face. She had begun to worry about it a little and she went to him and reached out her hand to him. “What is it? Do you wish we hadn’t done this?” she asked feeling uncertain about it.
He shook his head and was silent for a moment, but then spoke in a low voice with his eyes locked on hers. “I know I shouldn’t say this, and I am regretting it before I say it, but I can’t not say it… I can’t keep it in any longer. If I don’t say it I’ll do something stupid later on and make a mistake and get too close to you again, but if I just tell you now, then you’ll know, maybe I’ll be lucky and you’ll understand. I don’t know.”
“Tell me what?” she asked in a quiet voice as her heart began to beat quickly. She had no idea what he was going to say, but she was beginning to worry a little bit about it.
He looked as if he wasn’t sure, but then he let out a sigh and shook his head. “I can’t stop thinking about that kiss we shared in my kitchen the day the baby moved. I can’t stop thinking about what it was like to feel you in my arms that way, and I find that the more I’m around you, the more I want to feel that again. The more I want to kiss you again.
Seeing this here today… seeing you this way, it was… god, it was so beautiful. I have never seen a more beautiful woman, and it’s all I can do right now not to kiss you. I just… I can’t stop thinking about it. If that kiss hadn’t happened I might not be feeling this way right now, but something tells me that I would have, and I would be thinking about how much I would want to try to kiss you, rather than remember the kiss we shared, wishing for more, and not being able to get it out of my mind.”
He sighed again as if a great weight was off of his chest and she blinked back a few tears as a smile spread over her face. “I can’t stop thinking about that kiss too, though I’ve been trying to make myself forget about it. I wished that I could because I didn’t want to be out of line with you. I didn’t want to act inappropriately or ask you for too much… but I can’t stop thinking about our kiss either, and when I’m around you, I want more of that same feeling too. I have been trying to ignore it, but I know how you feel. I just can’t ignore it anymore either.”
Cameron gasped, blinking in surprise as he smiled and shook his head. “I… I can’t believe it… I saw you pulling away so much and I thought that it was because I was getting too close. I thought you didn’t want me near you as much. I had no idea…” he trailed off and it was silent a moment between them as their hearts pounded and their blood and minds raced.
He reached his hands up to her face to cup it in his palms as he watched her eyes and leaned in close to her. “I’ve been wanting to do this since the night you came over for dinner.” He whispered, closing his eyes as he brought his face to hers and brushed his lips gently across hers.
A soft sigh escaped her and she slowly curled her arms around his neck as they drew their bodies nearer together. They kissed softly and gently, taking their time as they savored one another and learned each other’s mouths, tasting and discovering.
Everything in Jasmine began to rush as a wave of relief and joy washed over her. She had been so sure that she was thinking of things that she shouldn’t be, that the realization that he wanted her just as much as she wanted to be with him was overwhelming.
Cameron held her tighter and kissed her deeper, parting her lips with his as he took her over, twisting his tongue around hers and moving his hands along her back. Watching the bare parts of her body before him that day had affected him much more than he had expected, and he could no longer hold back the desires that had been building in him for her.
When their kisses calmed some, he leaned back and looked at her, holding her hands in his. “Jasmine, I don’t know what’s going on with us… I don’t have any answers or direction, I don’t have a plan… there’s nothing in my mind other than this moment. I don’t know where this will go. All I know is that I have wanted this moment with you for so long and now we’ve had it, and it was amazing. I don’t know where we go from here, but I want you to know that right now. I’m not playing any games and I don’t want any disillusion or confusion. I just want you to know the truth and keep this transparent and honest.”
She nodded. “I understand. I think I feel the same. I wasn’t expecting this, and now it’s happened, and maybe we just kind of see where it goes. I have no agendas or expectations, so I think we’re in the same place, but I do want you to know this,” she reached her hand up and touched his face gently, “I’m really glad that it happened.”
He leaned forward with a happy laugh and whispered, “I am too. I’m so glad that this finally happened. God, I’ve been wanting to kiss you for so long.” He leaned in and kissed her long and slow once more before releasing her.
They both let out a big sigh then and he held her hand as they both walked out to the parking lot with big smiles on their faces, and bliss in their hearts.
Jasmine texted Kelly and told her that she needed to talk with her, and Kelly showed up at her house an hour later with fresh vegetables from her garden. She set the bag on the counter and pulled out carrots, beans, potatoes, lettuce, celery, tomatoes, onions, herbs, oranges, plums, nectarines, and lemons as big as her hand.
“I thought I’d give you a little gift from the garden of Eden.” She teased with a smile. “So tell me what’s got me up here visiting you today. What’s going on?”
Jasmine poured them each a tall glass of cold tea and handed Kelly’s to her. “It’s kind of… a tangle.” She began as they walked outside to the patio behind her house and sat under the lights to talk.
“I was over at Cameron’s house a while back and we were having dinner. Something cool happened, the baby moved for the first time, and he was standing right there when I felt it. I took his hand and put it on
my belly and he was able to feel it too. We got excited and we… we kissed.”
Kelly’s eyebrows rose up but she stayed quiet as she listened.
“He apologized right away, and we said it wasn’t going to happen again. We’ve spent a lot of time together since then and our friendship has grown, a lot actually, and we’re good friends now. Well, all this time I kept feeling like I wanted to be close to him and I’ll be honest, I wanted to kiss him again, but I knew it shouldn’t happen. I kept my distance and when I wanted that with him, I pulled away, trying to talk myself out of it.
Well, we were at a photo shoot for the baby and part of it was a semi-nude shoot, nothing inappropriate, but there was some bare skin. He kept watching me, and it made me want to kiss him again, and then he told me that he’s been thinking about that first kiss too, and that he’s been struggling with wanting to kiss me. So, this whole time it’s been going both ways.” She laughed a little and down at her drink and then back up to Kelly.