CHAPTER FIVE
Uncle Elroy
After the Indian attack of the night before, Flo and Mo were greatly relieved at the normalcy of the Flitz household the following morning. It was wonderful when Mama came into their room singing off key, and changed them both while using such large amounts of baby powder that it made them sneeze non-stop for five minutes. (She had read somewhere that when changing diapers, it is best to use liberal amounts of baby powder).
It was wonderful when Dada bounced them on his knee before breakfast, and slipped them pieces of his toast under the table as if they were dogs, not babies. (Mama was fully aware of what he was doing, but pretended not to notice. She had read somewhere that it was good for a Dad to play with his babies, and had read somewhere else that small amounts of toast would not hurt babies).
And it was even wonderful when Mama plopped them down painfully in their playpen before going off to watch her soap opera 'The Emotional Minefield' and ball her eyes out. What a wonderful, normal day!
Of course, Elise was also there, which made it a bit different. But the babies couldn't complain much about her presence. She fussed over them and burped them (another embarrassing thing they could not do for themselves) and generally made them feel like they were the most important people in the whole world.
So in the midst of the wonderful normalness, the visit of Uncle Elroy mid-morning sent the safe, normal world of the babies crashing down around their ears.
The doorbell rang just as 'The Emotional Minefield' was ending. When Dada opened the door, the babies saw a well-dressed man standing there, wearing a sport coat and tie. Like Elise and her grandmother, his facial features suggested he was an Indian. He smiled pleasantly and said, "Hello! I'm Uncle Elroy! I've come for Elise."
Mo and Flo instantly didn't like him. There was something false about him, and with their agile minds, it didn't take long to figure out what it was.
"He looks to be about 25!" said Flo. "From that picture of the Grandmother we saw in the mansion, there is NO WAY he could be her son, and therefore be Elise's Uncle! Any son of that old lady in the picture would have to be at least 40!"
"Look at the shoes he's wearing!" said Mo. "They're moccasins! And they have the same design as the Indian attackers last night! In fact, he looks a lot like one of those goons!"
"We can't let him take Elise!" cried Flo. "We've got to act fast!"
"I'll create a diversion to get everyone else out of the room, so you'll be alone with the faker," said Mo. Then he smiled at her. "You know what to do then ..."
Flo smiled back. This was going to be fun!
"Honey!" called Dada. "Uncle Elroy is here for Elise. Can you see if she's ready?"
"Sure, dear," answered Mama, heading for Elise's room. "Just give me a minute."
"Come on in and sit down," said Dada, pointing to the living room.
"Thanks," said the fake Uncle Elroy. He took a seat, and said, "Lovely home you have here." His eyes roamed across the cracked plaster and worn carpet. "Absolutely lovely."
"Thanks," said Dada, proudly ignorant of how ugly his home really was. "We try."
"Here's Elise," said Mama, coming into the room. Elise followed, looking curiously at this uncle she had never seen before.
Then suddenly there was a crash from the kitchen, followed by the wailing cry of a baby!
"My baby!" screamed Mama, darting out of the room. Dada was hot on her heels, with Elise close behind them. Uncle Elroy was suddenly left alone.
But not quite alone. Flo quickly appeared, trotting across the floor on all fours until she came up to sit right in front of him.
They stared at each other. And then Flo opened her mouth and said simply, "You're not Uncle Elroy! What have you done with him?"
The fake Uncle Elroy's eyes bugged out so large he looked like a gopher that's been run over by a cement truck. Shakily he stood up and backed toward the door.
"YOU TALKED!" he cried, his voice sounding high and squeaky, like a girl's. "Babies your age can't talk! It's impossible!"
"Not too bright, are you?" answered Flo casually. "It must be possible since I'm doing it."
The Indian's face had gone so white, it looked like someone threw a gallon of milk on him.
"YOU TALKED!!" he repeated again, his voice hysterical.
Just then, Dada, Mama and Eloise came into the room. Mama was carrying Mo. "Naughty boy," said Mama with a smile. "Pulling over the microwave by the power cord!"
"THAT BABY TALKED!!" screamed the Indian, pointing a shaking finger at Flo.
"Huh?" said Dada stupidly. "What do you mean, she talked? Babies that age can't talk. She's only fourteen months old!"
"BUT I HEARD IT--SHE TALKED!" repeated the Indian, as if saying it enough times would make people believe him.
"Oh, come now," said Mama, plopping down Mo with a painful thud. "My babies can do many things, but they can't do that! Is your brain a bit scrambled?"
Mo scooted across the floor, and then sat down next to the piano. With the big instrument blocking everyone else from view, now only the Indian could see him. Then he mouthed the words, "I can talk too," while the Indian stared at him, bug-eyed.
"HE TALKED TOO!" screeched the Indian, pointing with a wavering finger at Mo. Before anyone could say anything else, he darted for the door.
But Flo was too quick for him. She had craftily pushed one of her dolls in his path, tripping him and sending him flying. Papers and cards spewed out of his pocket. The big man got up quickly and raced out the door, leaving them all behind.
"Your Uncle Elroy is a strange man," said Dada, looking after the Indian curiously. Mama went over to the papers and cards to pick them up. "This is odd," she said, looking through the papers and cards. "There's a driver's license here of an 'Elroy Frampton,' but the picture doesn't look anything like that man! And there are some other papers here from something called 'The Coatl League.' What on earth is that?"
"The what?" said Dada curiously, taking the papers.
"Did you hear that?" cried Flo in telepathy to her brother. "The Coatl League! The word 'Coatl' is an Aztec word, for snake!"
"And the driver's license confirms that goon was NOT the real Uncle Elroy," replied Mo. "After their failure last night they must have been waiting for the real Uncle Elroy to come this morning, figuring that someone would come for the girl eventually. That means they've kidnapped both him and Elise's Grandmother!"
"I don't know what this 'Coatl League' is," said Dada, "but this driver's license makes one thing clear. That man was NOT Uncle Elroy! He was an imposter, probably come to kidnap Elise!" Mo and Flo smiled in pleasure, pleased that their dense father had actually figured out a clue on his own.
Mama put her hand over her heart while Elise's face turned white. "He was a fake?" cried Mama in shock. "Clyde, what do we do? Shall we call the police?"
"No," said Dada, stroking his chin. "Not yet. There's an address on this driver's license where the real Elroy Frampton lives. It's not too far from here. Let's drive out to his place and see if we can find him. Maybe then we'll know why someone is trying to impersonate him!"
"Brilliant!" cried Flo. "Sometimes Dada's mind really DOES work. He's wrong of course, about going there expecting to find Uncle Elroy since he's obviously been kidnapped. But going to his house is our best hope of finding more clues to figure things out!"
"Agreed!" said Mo. "Besides the fact that after he gets over his fright, the fake Uncle Elroy will be back. And if he's smart he'll bring help with him. We shook those goons off twice now, but may not succeed a third time. It's best if we just get away from here!"
Elise was staring at the address on Uncle Elroy's driver's license. "He lives in Tolton," she said quietly. "Grandmother received letters from Tolton sometimes, but never let me see them, and never answered my questions when I asked who lived there. She seemed to not want me to know what was there. But I could tell Tolton was an
important place from the look in her eyes every time she got one of those letters."
Flo and Mo looked at each other, their eyes shining. "We're on the right track!" said Flo.
"On to Tolton!" cried Mo with such exuberance he lost his balance and fell over backward, thumping his big baby head on the floor.
Detectives in Diapers: The Mystery of the Aztec Amulet Page 5