by Terri Lane
The excitement totally deflated from the kids as their father talked to them. Their entire demeanor changed, which just proved to me what I already suspected, this family needed my help. At least I was here, and I had a few weeks to make a difference. I just needed to ensure that I used that time wisely.
“Come on, I’ll take you up.”
As I tucked the kids in, and bid them goodnight, my mind was all over the place. I wasn’t sure if I imagined Evan checking me out or not, and I really needed to know. It was risky, and I feared that it might unleash a whole load of issues that I wasn’t equipped to deal with, but I couldn’t seem to stop myself from wanting to know.
I guess what with all I had been through recently, it was nice to feel attractive. I was pretty down on myself, I felt frumpy and boring – just as Taylor had suggested – and I really needed a boost.
Surely if I just innocently walked back into the kitchen with my bikini on to grab something to drink, that would be okay, wouldn’t it? The fact that I even needed to ask that just proved that it really wasn’t a good plan, but it was too late. I wanted to be convinced, so I was. I shrugged off the shawl I had draped over my shoulders, and I slowly walked back in to where I knew Evan was still sitting, lit up by the glow of his computer screen.
It really was a shame that he had to work so much while he was in such a beautiful place, but if he wasn’t then I wouldn’t have my job, so I couldn’t complain too much.
“Can I get you anything?” I asked breezily as I brushed past him. “Would you like a drink or anything?”
“Actually, do you think that you could hand me a beer from the fridge?”
As I handed it to him, our hands brushed and a powerful bolt of electricity raced through my entire body, bringing a flush to my cheeks. This made me feel like a school girl with a secret crush, one that gave me a secret thrill.
“Did the kids go to sleep alright?” He smiled at me, revealing a very sexy set of dimples in his cheeks. I got the distinct impression that he didn’t smile too much, so it was kinda nice that he was doing it for me.
“Yeah fine, I wore them out all day.”
His eyes fell down to my breasts, and I felt a powerful surge of sexiness overcome me. He was looking at me like he wanted to devour me, and for someone who had never been looked at in that way before it was really nice. Max had never gone out of his way to make me feel attractive, I just assumed that he didn’t have it in him, so to have this man who was a million leagues above Max looking at me like that was delicious and intoxicating.
“Well, that’s just great. Thank you for doing this. And thank you for coming on this trip with us all such last minute.”
“Yeah, that’s fine.” He gave me a look, but there was no way that I was about to delve into the sad, sorry story of my life. Evan really didn’t need to hear about my childish break up with the boy I assumed I loved. It was too embarrassing for words. “I’m glad I came,” I finished a little lamely instead.
"Me too, actually.” Oh God, there was that smile again. It was causing my heart to dance and dart all over my body. This wasn’t anything I could ever act on, I was still really aware of that, but I could keep it as a secret little thing just for myself. “And the kids seem to really like you, so that’s always good.”
I nodded slowly, wondering if this was the moment to ask all the questions that were floating around inside my head, but before I got the chance he started talking again.
“Maybe one of these days I should come to the beach with you,” he smirked playfully. “It looks like you all had a good time.”
Oh God, I was falling in too deep. Everything was flapping excitedly now, if I wasn’t careful I would be kissing him in a heartbeat. The thought of him on the beach with us made me far too thrilled for words. Nervous too, of course, but mostly just super happy.
“Yeah, sure, erm… I better go to bed.” I stood up quickly, needing some air before I said anything silly. This was too much, too intense, I could practically feel my brain shutting down. “But, erm, yeah I will see you in the morning.”
As I walked off rapidly, I felt like I was flying higher than air. Much as it was a dangerous sensation, it was a good one too. As long as I was careful, everything would be alright.
***
A weariness overcame my body after the second, long day of fun in Hawaii. I wasn’t used to all of this running around, but it was probably doing me a lot of good. I would be fit by the time I got home, tanned too, which were two more bonuses to me being here.
“Did you all have fun today?” I jumped as Evan’s voice unexpectedly burst out from behind me as I rummaged in the fridge for something to eat, scaring the hell out of me. “I didn’t get to see the kids as you came in.”
“Oh yeah,” I gasped a little, trying to catch my breath back. “Yeah, we had a great day.” I grabbed a yogurt and sat down. Evan did the same, but his body more fell, which suggested to me that he’d been drinking. “Is everything all right?”
“Yeah, just a long, booze filled business meeting,” he waved his arm dismissively as he spoke. “You know how it is. Always the same. Once someone opens a bottle, there’s trouble ahead.”
“Right…” Of course I had no idea, but there was no point in saying that. “Sure.”
“How do you do it?” His expression changed, his voice became impassioned, he gave me a really curious look. “How do you get Lorna and James to like you?”
“Erm…” this was a bit too far, I didn’t quite know what to say about that one. How was I supposed to answer such an awkward question? “Well, I don’t know, James is a little quiet with me still…”
“They love you, I can tell. Why can’t they love me like that?”
We were teetering into the territory where I wanted to find out more, but I wasn’t sure if this was the way I wanted to do it. I would’ve liked to do it more on my own terms. Still, it was too late for that now. We were down the rabbit hole, it was time to find out what I could. If I was going to help this family, then I needed to discover everything,
“They do love you?” I tried, but the statement came out more like a question which didn’t help anything. In all honesty, I couldn’t totally tell how they felt about him.
“No, I don’t think they do. They haven’t ever loved me. Before Phoebe died they didn’t even know me, and now they still don’t.”
“Phoebe?” There was a definite shake in my voice now. I probably should shut this conversation down, but I wasn’t sure how.
“Phoebe was my wife, the kid’s mom.” His head fell into his hands as a sadness overcame him. “And she did everything for them. I was always way too involved in the business to do anything. I thought that the best way for me to help my children was to provide for them. I wanted to give them the best life possible.”
“Well, you’ve definitely done that.” I wanted to make him feel better, but I wasn’t sure that it totally came across right.
“Then she got sick. Cancer.”
My heart stopped dead in my chest, I wasn’t sure that I wanted to know anymore. I was starting to get the impression that this was a very sad story with a terrible ending.
“I assumed she’d get better, I paid for her to get the best treatment and I thought it’d work. Of course, it didn’t. Phoebe knew that it wasn’t going to, but I couldn’t be convinced. She tried to tell me that I needed to start connecting with the kids before it was too late, but I wouldn’t listen. I felt like if I gave into her demands I’d be accepting that I was going to lose her.”
“That must’ve been so hard.” My problems absolutely paled into insignificance as he told me about his life. Just because he had money, didn’t make him happy.
“She died eighteen months ago, and I still can’t connect with James and Lorna. I try my best, but it’s really hard to manage the business and build bonds.”
“Wow, that’s rough,” I murmured sadly. “I’m so sorry that all happened to you, that’s horrible.”
�
��You must think I’m pathetic,” he smiled weakly, but I could see the tears shining behind his eyes. “Sorry to dump all of this on you, it’s just crazy to see all the nannies connecting with them more than me.”
“Do you mean Meghan too?”
“Urgh, see that’s just another issue. They both love Meghan, and she’s leaving to go back to college. I can’t blame her for wanting to better her life, but still I don’t know what to do with the kids. I’m stuck.”
Oh wow, James was going to be absolutely gutted, it was a shame for him to lose someone that he felt so close to. It was a shame that I couldn’t stay around for longer…
Wait a minute! Maybe this was like a trial thing, maybe if I did a really good job here, he would keep me on permanently. I’d already decided that I wanted to do something good here, but now it was even more important.
“The kids will come around,” I told him with a smile, while resting my hand on his arm. “Everything will be okay.”
“I hope you’re right, I really do.”
“And don’t ever worry about being pathetic, wait until you hear about my life.” I felt like by opening up a bit, he would see me as more human and that would only serve to make him like me more. Well, I hoped. I also wanted to help him feel a little better. “On the same day, I lost my job because the nursery was closing down, and I found my live-in boyfriend having sex with my best friend.”
“Wow, that’s a bad day,” Evan smirked and cocked his head sympathetically at me, but somehow it didn’t make me feel too bad. “Sorry that happened to you too.”
“I know it’s not quite the same as your story, but I hope it helps.”
I stood up and moved backwards, trying to create a distance between us before things got too weird, but Evan wasn’t about to let me go. He clung to my arm, staring at me, and although I knew it was oh so wrong, I couldn’t help but be tempted.
Our eyes were connected, there was a fission bursting between us, a thick tension in the air, and I had no idea what was going to happen next.
***
And then I found out, in the most shocking way possible. Evan crashed his lips against mine and we began kissing frantically, as if there was no tomorrow, or no consequences to face because of our actions. There was something in the back of my mind, screaming at me to stop because it was wrong, but I couldn’t. I’d lost all control of myself and become a slave to my emotions instead.
Fireworks of passion exploded in my stomach, and an intense chemistry flowed through my veins. I moved myself in closer to his body, molding myself against him, really losing myself in the moment, and as I did I felt Evan’s hands snake up into my hair. He was consuming me, controlling me, and I loved every single minute of it. It felt absolutely incredible.
“Oh God, Ali,” he groaned into my lips, as the passion claimed him as well. “You feel so good.”
That was enough to have me leaping backwards in shock. This was wrong, this was a fantasy, not something that should become a reality. The kiss was bad enough, we couldn’t possibly go any further. That would absolutely wreck my chances at getting a job with this man. I was supposed to be making myself inaccessible, not jumping his bones. What an idiot, and after that sad, sorry story too.
What was I doing? Why did I seem to have absolutely no control over myself at all?
“Oh God, I’m sorry,” I murmured like an idiot, my face heating up with humiliation. At least Evan had the excuse that he’d been drinking, I had no reason for doing this. It was entirely my fault. “I probably should go.”
“Ali…” I could hear Evan calling out from behind me, but I didn’t stop. I couldn’t, I needed to get away before I did something too stupid for words. I’d made a massive fool out of myself, I’d acted totally irrationally and now I’d wrecked everything. There was a large chance that I would be sent home tomorrow morning, and that was devastating. I’d been loving Hawaii, and one crazy moment had wrecked it all.
“Shit.” As I got into my bedroom, I slammed the door behind me and burst into breathless pants. That was insane! I couldn’t believe I let things get that far, just because I felt an attraction to Evan, doesn’t mean that should’ve gone down. I should’ve known better.
But oh God, just for a second I allowed my imagination to run wild, and I pictured all of that going one step further. I pressed my back hard against the door and slid my eyes shut while I thought about how it’d feel to have Evan’s hands all over me. He was a man, sex with him would be very different from what I was used to, I felt certain of it. I could just imagine that his touch was strong, powerful, utterly commanding, and that image sent a shiver racing up my spine.
I could almost feel Evan sliding his hand up my skirt, the hot, wet, pulsating desire in my panties could practically feel him exploring it. That thought was driving me animalistic and crazy, my legs wobbled under the tension of it all, I could barely stand up anymore. I had to force my hand off the door knob, just to stop myself from going back out to grab hold of him.
I wanted him, desperately, it was just a shame that he was completely out of reach.
But it wasn’t just that I wanted him, it wasn’t just the fact that he was so much more than Max could ever hope to be. There was more to it. He set my body alight, even more so now that I felt like I knew him a bit better. He turned me on in a way that I’d forgotten was possible. I guess I had become so comfortable in my relationship that I’d forgotten how wonderful a powerful spark could feel.
I pressed my hand up against my chest, feeling my thundering heart racing up against my chest with a thrilling anxiety as I wondered what he was thinking right now. Was he instantly regretting it, planning to fire me tomorrow, or was he in a similar state to the one I found myself in? Was he wishing that things had gone further too, even though they shouldn’t have?
God, I wanted it to be that one…
I needed to get into bed now, to get some sleep before another bolt of bravery came over me and I went back out there. I had to be smart from here on out. Even more so now, I needed to keep in control.
I staggered over to the bed and slid under the sheets, with my body freaking out the entire time. There were so many sides to Evan, he was so much more than the cold, powerful businessman he showed the rest of the world. The fact that he’d showed me a little more of him made me feel special, even if he didn’t intend to.
Oh God, I tossed the sheets over my head and squeezed my eyes shut. All I needed to do was sleep, anything else was dangerous.
***
I practically tiptoed into the kitchen the next morning, not wanting to be caught out, but unfortunately it seemed that I wasn’t about to get that lucky. The whole Hawlin family were sitting around the breakfast table, eating together for the very first time since we arrived. Only, they weren’t really together because their eyes were all fixed on screens. Evan his cell phone, the kids were playing games on their tablets.
Oh God, maybe I could make this work for me, maybe I could sit quietly among them with no focus on me…
“Hi there, Ali,” Evan’s voice reverberated through my system. “How are you this morning?” There was a teasing in his voice, a tone that suggested we had a little secret. I didn’t know how to take that, I assumed he was going to be ashamed, angry even. “Feeling good?”
“Erm, yeah I’m feeling good thanks, how about you?” I wanted to turn and face him, but I couldn’t work up the courage to do so. I kept my eyes fixed on the bowl of cereal that I was pouring, needing some comfort from it. This was so awkward, I should never have left my room. I could’ve feigned illness, hidden away, but no… I was out here.
“I’m feeling really good today. In fact, what I might do is take the day off work so we can all do something together.”
“What?” That was enough to have me staring at him in shock. All awkwardness flew out the window as I realized that he definitely remembered everything that we’d talked about the night before. Not only that, this workaholic was actually taking time off
work to spend time with his family. Maybe I’d already started to achieve something positive with this.
“Yeah, I mean I can push some stuff around. The legal team need to get some documents ready for the merger anyway, so why don’t we all go out and do something fun? I heard there’s a really cool theme park around here somewhere.”
The magic words ‘theme park’ were enough to have the kids excited. They stared at him like he was the best thing on the planet before racing to their respective bedrooms to get dressed. I chuckled loudly as I heard them yelling to one another about what rides they were looking forward to going on.
“I want to find the biggest roller coaster!”
“I like the bumper cars!”
“Wow, I think you’re on the road to becoming very popular,” I grinned brightly. “That’s such a cool thing you’re doing for them. It must be difficult for you to rearrange all your work?”
“Maybe,” he shrugged, acting blasé about it but I could tell that there was something going on inside of him. This was much more of a monumental move on his behalf than he was willing to let on. “But you made me realize last night that I need to try harder.”
“I did?” I couldn’t remember saying anything like that, I thought I was pretty useless to be honest. I knew that there was more I should’ve said, but it seemed that somehow, I’d managed to have an impact anyway.
“Yeah, just talking about it helped me to clarify. I’ve been trying to push my issues to one side, trying to get through things with my head buried in the sand, and now I can see that’s idiotic. I’m not the only one who lost Phoebe, I’m not the only one with grief. Rather than all separating we should’ve been working together.”
It was really sweet that all he needed was an ear to listen to him, I was glad that I could be that. Maybe if we could push past all the stupid kiss stuff then we could actually be friends.
“Wow, well that’s awesome. I think the kids will really appreciate it.” They knew more than Evan was aware of, they were aware that he was giving up a lot for them, and I knew that they’d love it. I might have only been in this family for a few days, but I could easily see where their issues lay.