Lucas laughed beside me, shaking me out of my reverie. Apparently, something amusing happened while I was daydreaming about the busy month that sprawled ahead of me. And once again, I couldn’t help but think about Jamie.
God, I missed him. I missed what could have been. What would he think about all this? Would he be standing beside me tossing rice at the happy couple, or would he be the guy standing up and objecting?
No way. He would have been mine. Mine to have and to hold forever, but you can’t hold a memory.
Or a ghost.
“I remember you, Jamie,” I whispered.
“What’s that, Summer? You talking to me?” Lucas stepped closer. My cousin wore a new suit today, the one I’d surprised him with last week. He couldn’t be an official Dufresne without a proper suit.
“Nothing important. Nice suit. I’m glad it fits you so well.”
Lucas and I stood together on the sidewalk a little ways from the rest of the Dufresne clan. Nobody seemed to mind that the bride and groom had the same last name since, after all, they weren’t blood-related, but it had been kind of humorous seeing Dufresne and Dufresne on the wedding invitations. Guess that was just my sense of humor.
It was sweet that Mitchell stood in for Avery’s dad. I would have never thought of that. It was a kind and thoughtful gesture, and my brother looked like a million bucks, as our father would have said. But then again, it was hard for anyone to look bad in a tuxedo. I could tell Mitchell wanted to talk to me, but I avoided him. My brother, who was never one to be impetuous, had gotten married a few months ago without saying a word to me about it. He didn’t need my permission, and Angie seemed like a nice person, but it ticked me off, and I couldn’t explain why.
What was up with all these folks getting married?
I hoped this trend didn’t continue. Mitchell staggered toward me with his ridiculously tiny wife practically running beside him. I spun around and looked for something to do. Hopefully, he’d get the hint. I didn’t want to deal with him. All I could think about was kicking off these horrible high heels and finding something to eat. I needed to eat before I visited Jamie.
“You hungry, Lucas?”
Lucas beamed. He looked as tired as I did. “Sure am.”
I took his hand, and we headed away from Mitchell and Angie. Lucas didn’t appear to notice my avoidance tactic. Good. I didn’t feel like explaining my meanness to one more person. “Welcome to the world of Dufresne leadership. You have to grab food when you can. Right now, I know where there’s a stash of jambalaya. Follow me to the kitchen.”
My cousin and I meandered through the crowd and made our way through one of the many sets of French doors in Sugar Hill. Jazz music played. We had two live bands, one here in the house in the small ballroom, and one on the Great Lawn. The trio inside was definitely my favorite. It was cooler in here too, and there would be less traffic in the kitchen. Robin told me earlier that she’d stashed me a dish of jambalaya in the fridge. I was willing to share it with Lucas.
“Have a seat. Won’t take but a second.” Most of the kitchen staff kept busy cleaning up, so we were largely alone, and I was glad for the silence. Avery and Reed’s outdoor wedding had been a beautiful affair, but no matter how hard I tried, I always ended up walking more miles at these events than I’d planned. I was exhausted. I kicked off my shoes and nudged them as far out of the way as I could. Lucas and I ransacked the fridge in search of leftover snacks and Robin’s promised treat. A few minutes later, we were sitting at the bar enjoying some hot jambalaya. He thoughtfully poured us two glasses of lemonade, and we chowed down and watched with some amusement as a few of the children slipped into the kitchen looking for goodness knows what. My reputation must have preceded me because they spotted me at the island bar and took off running in the other direction.
“How’s Arnold Lee? Is he coping with the divorce all right?” Lucas and his wife had recently separated. She was not a pleasant person, from what I gathered, and had moved out of state just to irritate Lucas. The two managed to share custody, but it was a struggle. Lucas refused to bring the family in on his situation, but I assured him once again that Reed was more than up to the job if he wanted his legal help.
As always, he remained hopeful. “No. I think we can work it all out if we’re just a little more patient with each other.”
Lucas was new to our world, and I liked his innocence. I wondered what it felt like to be innocent. Although he had wealth and influence at his fingertips now, he wasn’t comfortable using either of them.
“I think you’re making a big mistake, Lucas. Don’t let her have the upper hand. He’s your son, and he’s worth fighting for.”
Lucas put his spoon down and wiped his face. With a serious look, he said, “Do you think I’m not fighting for him? That I don’t worry every day that I’ll never see him again? That I’m somehow not engaged in what happens in his life?”
Feeling like a heel now, I sank down in my chair. “That’s not exactly what I meant. It’s just that I know you don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, including your ex-wife’s, but sometimes you have to do it. For the good of your family. For Arnold Lee.”
Lucas rose from the barstool and stood with his hands on his hips. “Get this straight, Summer. I would die for my son, but I don’t believe a long legal battle with his mother is going to help him at all in the long run. I appreciate the advice, but I’ll keep doing what I’m doing. I’m sure we’ll get it worked out. Thanks again.” With that, he left me alone.
Man, I’d screwed that up big time!
I waited five minutes to see if he’d return and then grabbed my keys and headed to the cemetery. I pretended to myself that none of that had just happened, but obviously, I’d have to apologize later for my misspoken words. I valued my relationship with Lucas and wanted to be on his good side.
But for now, I had to go. Jamie was expecting me.
At least I couldn’t screw that relationship up.
Chapter Two
Summer Dufresne
Jamie had a new neighbor. The freshly turned grave beside his was a mound of red dirt covered in piles of flowers, and around where the headstone would be were heartbreaking displays of red roses. At least he wouldn’t be alone now. There were no other graves nearby, just a stretch of green grass and an oak tree. Pleasant enough place for a living person, but what did the view below ground look like? I shuddered at my own morbidity.
Although we Dufresnes were immersed in the paranormal from the cradle to the grave, death remained difficult for me to deal with, especially when it involved someone I loved. And there was no doubt I loved Jamie, but I never had the chance to tell him so. Not in this life, anyway. That made it worse, I think. Jamie and I never had a chance to damage one another. All my memories of him were hopeful. Too many what-could-have-beens. It was easy to romanticize our relationship because we didn’t have a lot of history, but he’d been the one. I was sure of that. Would there ever be another?
Usually, I sat on the bench near Jamie’s resting place, but today I sat beside the stretch of grass that covered him, running my hands across the soft blades and lightly touching the cold marble. I hadn’t had anything sentimental carved into the headstone, no dopey “Rest in peace” or “Loved by many.” I wasn’t sure Jamie was resting, and as far as I knew, only I had loved him. Reed had contacted Jamie’s ex-wife for her help with making the proper funeral arrangements, but she’d had nothing helpful to say. I called back, hoping to appeal to her heart, but she practically spat into the phone.
“If that sonofabitch got himself killed in Alabama, that’s his own damn fault. You can keep his body.” And she didn’t stop there. I couldn’t believe the profanities I heard. A day later, she’d called me back, obviously drunk and crying like she’d lost someone she truly, deeply loved. She whined to me about how much she’d loved Jamie. He’d been her true love, she’d given up everything for him, and other such nonsense. I hung up on her, disgusted by her lack of self-co
ntrol. My detective assured me that there was no one else to talk to, no one to claim Jamie. Because Jamie and Evelyn were divorced, she had no legal say over his remains. Jamie had a brother, but he was out of the country and couldn’t be reached before the arrangements had to be finalized. It was like another knife in my heart. Surely Jamie deserved better than this.
Not caring if anyone saw me, I lay down beside him and plucked at a piece of grass. I held it in my hand and had every intention of crying, but no tears came. “Jamie…you should be here with me, not down there.”
I didn’t know what I expected, but I didn’t hear anything at all except some ducks in a pond not too far away. “Why did you do it? We could have been so great together.”
The ground shook beneath me as if a heavy dump truck were rolling past, but there weren’t any roads nearby. I bolted upright and looked around. Was that an earthquake, here in lower Alabama? Now that would be freaking weird. I waited to see if it would happen again, then watched in shock as the clouds above me darkened as if a child had taken a watercolor brush to them.
I have to be hallucinating. What in the world?
It got very dark. White flowers along the fence began to sway in the wind that rose suddenly, and leaves rustled along the ground. I grasped at the hem of my dress to keep it from flapping up. The earth rumbled again, and I glanced down at Jamie’s grave. The grass pushed up as if something were trying to emerge from the earth.
Oh, my God! Oh, my God! I backed away, unsure of what to do.
Then as suddenly as it began, it stopped. The dark clouds rolled back, the ground stopped shaking, and to my surprise, I wasn’t alone. Pepper stood at the other side of the newly dug grave.
“Pepper? What are you doing here?”
“I’m here to help you, Summer.”
Still shaken up, I asked her, “Did you see what happened? What was that?”
“If I had to guess, I would say that was a small earthquake or a strange manifestation of your grief. You’re an unusual girl. You always have been.” Pepper stepped closer but didn’t move to touch me or hold my hand. I was grateful for that. I wondered why she hadn’t been at the wedding this morning, but now wasn’t the time to ask.
“You mean weird, don’t you? I think that’s the general consensus.”
“If that’s what you want to call it, but I never said that, dear.” She smiled through her pale pink lipstick. How old was Pepper now? She must have been in her sixties, but she looked younger. Younger than I remembered. “It’s time to put your grief aside and return to life. Don’t let life pass you by, Summer. There’s more ahead for you. Happiness is ahead of you. If you try to resurrect the past, you won’t get the results you want.” She glanced down at the grave behind me as if I might very well see something rising up.
“Resurrect the past? I’m not trying to do that. I’m just here to visit my friend. Unlike everyone else, I haven’t forgotten about Jamie.”
Pepper didn’t argue with me. “Sometimes what you think is love isn’t love. Not the good kind, not the kind that makes you truly happy.” She sat on the bench and put her clutch purse in her lap. She always dressed to the nines, just like Aunt Anne. I sat beside her, not sure if I wanted to hear more, but I longed to talk to someone.
“Have you ever been in love, Pepper?”
“No. Once I thought I was, but it didn’t work out.” That didn’t sound hopeful.
“I think I was in love with Jamie.” My hair blew behind me as we sat in the shade. I half-expected the ground to shake again, but it didn’t.
“I know.”
“Aren’t you going to tell me I’m wrong? That it wasn’t love?”
“No, I can’t know that. Nobody can. But I do know that people have been wrong before. And even if you and Jamie had been a couple, there’s no guaranteeing you would have been happy. Things rarely turn out the way we expect them to, I’m afraid.”
“I am so angry, and I can’t understand why. I’m angry that Jamie is forgotten by everyone. That nobody cared that he died. I’m angry that I should have been with him.” I sucked in a breath as I sobbed. “Damn it! I was so close to happiness! Why is it that I can’t be happy? Everything I ever want gets taken away from me!” I rose from the bench and began to pace around.
“That’s not true, dear. You wanted to be Matrone, and now you are just that. I am very proud of you. You have a rare determination, and our family needs someone like you. It’s like it was meant to be from the very beginning, only you didn’t know it. You always make things harder than they have to be.”
I didn’t take her bait. The grief for my dead boyfriend overtook my sarcastic nature. “His family doesn’t even care that he’s gone. Jamie is just another victim.” I twisted a rope of long hair around my fingers as I paced. “You know, if we had defeated him before, if I had left Jamie out of it, he would still be alive. I’m sure of it. It’s like I killed him, like we, the Dufresnes, we killed him.”
“You weren’t in control of his destiny, Summer. Nobody killed him. He did the deed himself.”
I sat down again, smoothing my skirt under me, and whispered, “I don’t believe that. I think the Lovely Man killed him. The Lovely Man wanted to make me pay for renouncing him.”
Pepper’s eyes were the picture of compassion. “It wasn’t the Lovely Man that killed Jamie. I know you want to believe that, and I take no joy in telling you this, but it was a death delivered by Jamie’s own hand. I saw him do it. Somewhere from here to there, during that short trip from the flower shop to his apartment, he decided to end it. It wasn’t that you weren’t worth it. It wasn’t that you were less than Avery or less than Evelyn. It wasn’t any of that.”
My hand flew to my mouth, and the sting of fresh tears burned my eyes. “How could you know this? Were you following him? Why, Pepper?”
She didn’t answer me but continued in her soothing tone, “Jamie was not the man you thought he was, Summer Anne. Once he was a good man, and he was trying to be that again, but his demons were too strong for him, and they overtook him in the end. He was a man with many secrets, and in the days to come, you’ll find out what those secrets were. You’ll be glad you didn’t have the opportunity to love him like you wanted to. I’m telling you the truth, Summer. I would never lie to you. I never have.”
Suddenly I was in Pepper’s arms, crying on her shoulder. “Why does this hurt so bad?” I asked breathlessly through a cascade of tears. “I’ve never felt like this before. Why can’t I just say goodbye?”
“When you’re ready to let go, you will. I think you’re a step closer now.” She hugged me back and held on. “He wasn’t the one for you, Summer. The right one will come along, and you will have the life you deserve. But for now, dear girl, you are free to live. Free to have your family and your life on your terms. I know that’s important to you. I love you, Summer.” She kissed my cheek and I cried, but not the desperate, grief-stricken tears I’d known. This was the beginning of letting go, and for the first time in a long time, I felt like a real human. I would still grieve for Jamie, but I believed Pepper. I knew that she spoke the truth. I could live, and I would find happiness one day. It was all I had to hold on to, and I would hold on to it with both hands.
“This is an unusual day,” she said as she stroked my hair.
“Yes, it has been, but it’s not over yet. I have to get back to Sugar Hill. I’m going to hire an assistant today. I can’t do everything myself; I know that now. It’s too much for Avery and me. We have to widen our circle a bit.”
“You have anyone in mind?”
“I like Robin, the young woman who’s in charge of housekeeping. She’s been wonderful to work with in planning this charity ball, and I think she would be just the kind of help I’m looking for.”
“Excellent choice,” she said with a smile. We left the bench behind, and Pepper began walking in the opposite direction.
“Need a lift back to Belle Fontaine?”
“No, thank you. I have my o
wn way.”
“Thank you for everything, Pepper.”
She smiled and waved once before walking toward the fence line. I assumed she’d parked on the other side, although I didn’t recall seeing a road back there. I walked to my car and sat inside tidying up my makeup before heading back home to Sugar Hill.
At least I’d be going back with one less ghost.
Chapter Three
Jessica Chesterfield
There were no greater words in the English language than “That’s a wrap, people.” I couldn’t believe it was the end of my first season as the lead investigator on My Haunted Plantation. We accomplished a lot this season, and I was proud of the work we’d done in Beaumont, Mississippi, and Ashford, Tennessee. Our scouting team had saved the best for last. I was in love with Beaumont and delighted that we’d solved the mystery of who was haunting the Ferndale House. It was such an atrocity, but now things would be made right. Knowing that gave me a great deal of satisfaction.
Yes, I had an honest, hardworking crew, and both of those qualities were important to me. The Paranormal Channel had moved the last crew on to “bigger and better things” and had been nice enough to allow me some say in who worked with me this time around. I lobbied to bring Becker back, but it wasn’t to be. The Paranormal Channel thought he was too much of a controversial figure, what with him getting busted for planting bogus evidence, and they wanted to keep our show legit. Their decision saddened me, but I understood it. I managed to get them to agree to Mike, and the guy was still as intuitive as ever. Thankfully he was done with Megan, and in fact, he’d met and married Tina Spivey, a girl from his hometown. She wasn’t into the supernatural stuff, but she was sweet and supportive and helped out tremendously behind the scenes.
The network wasn’t too happy when I told them I would no longer be using “spirit boxes” and our crew would no longer use Ouija boards or any communication devices beyond audio recorders to interact with entities. As I told them repeatedly, we had no way of knowing for sure who we were talking to, and it was too big of a risk. Once you began talking to the wrong spirit, it might very well follow you home. It was a proven fact. We had made contact through other means several times, safely and without anyone getting hurt. I was extremely proud and happy to sign my contract for another season as the lead investigator. I hadn’t given up on bringing Becker back either, but I’d bide my time.
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