“No,” the Eagle replied. He did not elaborate. Nicole smiled. “You’ve already told me that we haven’t reached the Node or an equivalent place, and I’m certain that you didn’t just drop by for a social visit. Are you going to tell me why you are here?”
“This is a Stage Two intercession,” the Eagle said. “We have decided to interrupt the observation process.”
“Okay,” Nicole said, placing Maria back down on the ground, “I understand the concept. But what exactly will happen now?”
“Everyone will go to sleep,” the Eagle said. “And after they awaken…?” Nicole asked. “All I can tell you is that everyone will go to sleep.” Nicole stepped away in the direction of the Emerald. City and raised her arms to the sky. Only three colored rings: remained now, and they were all far away, over above the Northern Hemicylinder. “Just out of curiosity-I’m not complaining, you understand…” Nicole said with a trace of sarcasm. She paused and turned around to face the Eagle. “Why didn’t you intercede a long time ago? Before all thisoccurred? Before there were so many deaths?”
The Eagle didn’t answer immediately. “You can’t have it both ways, Nicole,” he said at length. “You can’t have both free will and a benevolent higher power who protects you from yourself.”
“Excuse me,” Nicole said with a puzzled look on her face. “Did I mistakenly ask a religious question?”
“Not really,” the Eagle replied. “What you must understand is that our objective is to develop a complete catalog. on all the spacefarers in this region of the Galaxy. We are not judgmental. We are scientists. We do not care if it is — your natural predilection to destroy yourself. We do care, ^however, if the likely future return from our project no longer justifies the significant resources we have assigned.”
“Huh?” said Nicole. “Are you telling me that you’re not interceding to stop the bloodshed, but for some other reason?”
“Yes,” said the Eagle. “However, I’m going to change the subject because our time is extremely limited. The lights will be coming on in two more minutes. You will be asleep a minute after that. If you have anything you wish to communicate to the girl child—”
“Are we going to die?’ Nicole said, suddenly frightened.
“Not immediately,” said the Eagle. “But I cannot guarantee that everyone will live through the sleeping period.”
Nicole dropped down in the dirt beside the girl. Maria had another clod in her mouth and wet dirt lined her lips. Nicole wiped her face off very gently and offered the child a drink of water from a cup. To Nicole’s surprise, Maria sipped at the water, spilling it down her chin.
Nicole smiled and Maria giggled. Nicole stuck her finger under the girl’s chin and tickled her. Maria’s giggles erupted into laughter, the pure, uninhibited, magical laughter of the small child. The sound was incredibly beautiful. Nicole’s eyes filled with tears.
Suddenly all of Rama was filled with light. It was an awesome spectacle. The Big Horn and its six surrounding acolytes, attached by massive flying buttresses, dominated the sky above them. “Forty-five seconds?” Nicole said to the Eagle.
The alien birdman nodded. Nicole reached over and picked up the girl. “I know that nothing that has happened to you recently makes any sense, Maria,” Nicole said, holding the child in her lap, “but I want you to know that you have already been terribly important in my life and I love you very much.”
There was a look of astonishing wisdom in the little girl’s eyes. She leaned forward and put her head on Nicole’s shoulder. For a few seconds Nicole did not know what to do. Then she began patting Maria on the back. And singing softly.
“Lay thee down…Now and rest…May thy slumber beBlessed…”
RETURN TO THE NODE
1
The dreams came before the night. They were disconnected dreams, random images sometimes expanding into short, unified sets without apparent purpose or direction. Colors and geometric patterns were the earliest dreams she remembered. Nicole could not recall when they had started. At some point she had thought for the first time, I am Nicole. I must still be alive, but that had been long ago. Since then she had seen, in her mind’s eye, entire scenes, including the faces of other people. Some she had recognized. That’s Omeh, she had said to herself. That’s my father. She had felt sadness as she had awakened more each time. Richard had been in her last several dreams. And Katie. They’re both dead, Nicole had remembered. They died before I went to sleep.
When she opened her eyes, she could still see nothing. The darkness was complete. Slowly Nicole became more aware of her surroundings. She dropped her hands beside her and felt the soft texture of the foam with her fingers. She turned over on her side with very little effort. I must be weightless, Nicole thought, her mind beginning to function after years of being dormant. But where am I? she asked herself before falling asleep again.
The next time she awakened, Nicole could see a solitary light source at the other end of the closed container in which she was lying. She wiggled her feet free of the white foam and held them up in front of the light. They were both covered with clear slippers. She stretched out to see if she could touch the light source with her toes, but it was too far away.
Nicole put her hands in front of her eyes. The light was so dim that she could not see any details, only a dark outline that silhouetted all the fingers. There was not enough room in the container for her to sit up, but she could manage to reach the top with one hand, if she propped herself up with the other. Nicole pressed her fingers against the soft foam. Behind the foam was a hard surface, wood or possibly even metal.
The slight activity wore her out. She was breathing rapidly and her heart rate had increased. Her mind became more alert. Nicole remembered clearly the last moments before she had gone to sleep in Rama. The Eagle came, she thought, just after I found that baby girl in the Alternate Domain. So where am I now? And how long have I slept?
She heard a gentle knocking on the container and lay back down in the foam. Someone has come. My questions will be answered soon. The lid of the container was slowly raised. Nicole shielded her eyes from the light. She saw the Eagle’s face and heard his voice.
The two of them were sitting together in a large room. Everything was white. The walls, the ceiling, the small round table in front of them, even the chairs, the cup, the bowl, and the spoon were white. Nicole took another sip of the warm soup. It tasted like chicken broth. Over to her left the white container in which she had been lying rested against the wall. There were no other objects in the room.
“…About sixteen years altogether-traveler’s time, of course,” the Eagle was saying. Traveler’s time, Nicole thought. That’s the same term that Richard used. “…We did not retard your aging nearly as efficiently as before. Our preparations were somewhat hurried.”
Despite the weightlessness, it seemed to Nicole that every physical act was a monumental effort. Her muscles had been inactive for too long. The Eagle had helped her shuffle the few steps between the container and the table. Her hands had trembled some while she had drunk the water and eaten the soup.
“So am I about eighty?” she now asked the Eagle in a halting voice, one that she barely recognized.
“More or less,” the alien replied. “It would be impossible to give you a meaningful age.”
Nicole stared across the table at her companion. The Eagle looked just the same as always. The powder-blue eyes on either side of his protruding gray beak had lost none of their mystical intensity. The feathers on the top of his head were still pure white, contrasting sharply with the dark gray feathers of his face, neck, and back. The four fingers on each hand, creamy white and featherless, were as smooth as a child’s.
Nicole studied her own hands for the first time. They were wrinkled and discolored from age spots. She turned them over and from somewhere in her memory she heard a laugh. Phthisic, Richard was saying. Isn’t that a great word? It means more withered than ‘withered’… I wonder if I’ll ever h
ave a chance to use it… The memory faded. My hands are phthisic, Nicole thought.
“Don’t you ever age?” she asked the Eagle.
“No,” he replied. “At least not in the sense that you use the word. I am regularly maintained and subsystems that are exhibiting performance degradation are replaced.”
“So you never die either?”
He hesitated for a moment. “That’s not completely accurate,” the Eagle said. “Like all members of my group, I was created for a specific purpose. If there is no longer a need for me to exist and I cannot be readily programmed to accomplish some new, necessary function, then I will be unpowered.”
Nicole started to laugh but caught herself. “I’m sorry,” she said, “I know it’s not funny… but your choice of words struck me as peculiar. ‘Unpowered’ is such a—”
“It’s also the correct word,” the Eagle said. “Inside me are several tiny power sources, as well as a sophisticated power distribution system. All the power elements are essentially modular and therefore transferable from one of us to another. If I am no longer needed, the elements can be removed and used in another being.”
“Like an organ transplant,” Nicole said, finishing her water.
“Somewhat,” the Eagle replied. “Which brings me to another issue… During your long sleep, your heart actually stopped beating twice, the second time just after we arrived here in the Tau Ceti system. We have managed to keep you alive with drugs and mechanical stimulation, but your heart is now extremely weak. If you want to have an active life for any appreciable additional period, you will need to consider replacing your heart.”
“Is that why you left me in there”-Nicole pointed at the container—”for so long?” she asked.
“Partially,” said the Eagle. He had already explained to Nicole that most of the others from Rama had awakened much earlier, some as long as a year ago, and that they were living in crowded conditions in another venue not very far away. “But we were also concerned about how comfortable you might be over in the converted starfish. We refurbished that spacecraft in a hurry, so there are not many amenities. We were also concerned because you are by far our oldest human survivor.”
That’s right, Nicole said to herself. The octospider attack wiped out everyone over forty or so. I am the only old person left.
The Eagle had stopped talking for a moment. When Nicole looked at the alien again, his mesmerizing eyes seemed to be expressing an emotion. “Besides, you are special to us. You have played a key role in this endeavor.”
Is it possible, Nicole thought suddenly, still staring at the Eagle’s fascinating eyes, that this electronic creature actually has feelings? Could Richard have been right when he insisted that there are no aspects of our humanity that could not be eventually duplicated by engineering?
“We waited as long as we could to wake you,” the Eagle continued, “to minimize the length of time that you would have to spend in less than ideal conditions. Now, however, we are preparing to enter another phase of our operations. As you can see, this room was emptied, except for you, long ago. In another eight to ten days we will begin dismantling the walls. By then you should have recuperated enough.”
Nicole asked again about her family and friends. “As I told you before,” the Eagle said, “everyone survived the long sleep. However, the adjustment to living in what your friend Max calls the Grand Hotel has not been easy for anybody. All of those who were with you in the Emerald City, plus the girl Maria and Ellie’s husband, Robert, were originally assigned to two large rooms, side by side, in one section of the starfish. Everyone was told that the living arrangements were only temporary, and that eventually they would be transferred to better quarters. Nevertheless, Robert and Galileo were not able to adapt successfully to the unusual conditions in the Grand Hotel.”
“What happened to them?” Nicole asked with alarm.
“They were both transferred, for sociological reasons, to another, more highly regulated area of the spacecraft. Robert was moved first. He went into a severe depression shortly after he awakened from the long sleep and was never able to break out of it. Unfortunately, he died about four months ago. Galileo is all right physically, although his antisocial behavior has continued.”
Nicole felt a deep sorrow upon hearing the news of Robert’s death. She was sad for Nikki, who had never really had a chance to know her father, and for her daughter Ellie. Nicole had hoped that the marriage… She shook her head. Nicole admitted to herself that she had never really understood Robert. He was so complex, she thought. Talented, dedicated, yet surprisingly dysfunctional on a personal level.
“I guess,” she commented to the Eagle, “that the energy I expended to save Katie and Robert from the octospider agents was wasted effort.”
“Not really,” the Eagle replied simply. “It was important to you at the time.”
Nicole smiled and thought how wise the Eagle was in his understanding of humans. She stifled a yawn.
“Let me help you back to bed,” he said. “You’ve been up long enough for the first time.”
Nicole was very pleased with herself. She had finally managed a full lap around the perimeter of the room without stopping.
“Bravo,” the Eagle said, coming up beside her. “You are making fabulous progress. We never thought that you would walk so well in such a short period of time.”
“I definitely need some water now,” she said, smiling. ‘This old body is sweating furiously.”
The Eagle retrieved a glass of water from the table. When she was finished drinking, Nicole turned to her alien friend. “Now are you going to keep your part of the bargain?” she said. “Do you have a mirror and a change of clothes in that suitcase over there?”
“Yes, I do,” the Eagle answered. “And I even brought the cosmetics you requested. But first I want to examine you to see how your heart responded to the exercise.” He held a small black device in front of her and watched some markings appear on the tiny screen. ‘That’s good,” he said. “No, that’s excellent… No irregularities at all. Just an indication that your heart is working very hard, which would be expected in a human your age.”
“May I see that?” Nicole asked, pointing at the monitoring device. The Eagle handed it to her. “I suppose,” she said, “that this thing is receiving signals from inside my body… but what exactly are all those squiggles and strange symbols on the screen?”
“You have over a thousand tiny probes inside your body, more than half in the cardiac region. They not only measure the critical performance of your heart and other organs, but also regulate such important parameters as blood flow and oxygen allocation. Some of the probes even supplement the normal biological functions. What you are seeing on the screen is summary data from the time interval when you were exercising. It has been compressed and telemetered by the processor inside you.”
Nicole frowned. “Maybe I shouldn’t have asked. Somehow the idea of all that electronic junk inside me is not very comforting.”
“The probes are not really electronic,” the Eagle said, “at least not in the way you humans use the word. And they are entirely necessary at this point in your life. If they weren’t there, you wouldn’t survive even one day.”
Nicole stared at the Eagle. “Why didn’t you just let me die?” she asked. “Do you have some purpose for me yet that justifies all this effort? Some function I must still perform?”
“Perhaps,” the Eagle said. “But perhaps we thought you might like to see your family and friends one more time.”
“I find it difficult to believe,” Nicole said, “that my desires play any significant role in your hierarchy of values.”
The Eagle did not respond. He walked over to the suitcase, which was sitting on the floor beside the table, and returned with a mirror, a damp cloth, a simple blue dress, and a cosmetics bag. Nicole slipped out of the white nightgown she had been wearing, wiped herself all over with the cloth, and put on the dress. She took a deep breath as the E
agle handed her the mirror. “I’m not certain I’m ready for this,” she said with a wan smile.
Nicole would not have recognized the face in the mirror if she had not mentally prepared herself first. Her face looked to her like a crazy quilt of bags and wrinkles. All her hair, including her eyebrows and eyelashes, was now either white or gray. Nicole’s first impulse was to cry, but she gamely fought back the tears.
She searched the features in the mirror, guided by her memory, for vestiges of the lovely young woman she had been. Here and there she could see the outlines of what was once considered to be a beautiful face, but the eye had to know where to look. Her heart ached as Nicole suddenly remembered a simple incident years earlier, when she was a teenager walking along a country road with her father near her home in Beauvois. An old woman using a cane had been coming toward them and Nicole had asked her father if they could cross over the road to avoid her.
“Why?” her father had asked.
“Because I don’t want to see her up close,” Nicole had said. “She is old and ugly. She makes me shiver.”
“You too will be old someday,” her father had answered, refusing to cross the road.
I am old and ugly, Nicole thought. I even make myself shiver. She handed the mirror back to the Eagle. “You warned me,” she said wistfully. “Maybe I should have listened.”
“Of course you’re shocked,” the Eagle said. “You have not seen yourself for sixteen years. Most humans have a difficult time with the aging process even if they follow it day by day.” He extended the cosmetics bag in her direction.
“No, thank you,” Nicole said despondently, refusing the bag. “It’s a hopeless situation. Not even Michelangelo could do anything with this face.”
“Suit yourself,” the Eagle said. “But I thought you might want to use the cosmetics before your visitor arrives.”
“A visitor!” Nicole said, with both alarm and excitement. “I’m going to have a visitor? Who is it?” She reached out for the mirror and the cosmetics.
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