Slipping the cuff off my arm, I disconnected the heart monitors and the machines started alarming. I glared at the screen and tried punching a couple of buttons until I found the power switch. When I released a breath and turned around, I jumped. Three silhouettes stood in the open doorway.
“You going somewhere, Parker?” the petite nurse asked as she walked around the bed toward me and took my pulse. I noticed her hospital ID for the first time: Patti. Finn and Addie waved from the doorway but didn’t say anything.
“Yeah. Just a walk. I need to stretch my muscles, I think.” I waited until she eventually released my wrist and looked me over. “That okay?”
Patti pursed her lips and nodded slowly. “Yes, but I want you to take it slow. Your friends and your IV stay with you.”
Finn stepped over and grabbed the IV stand. “No problem.”
“We’ll make sure he’s back soon.” Addie walked over and linked her arm through mine, her expression worried. I glanced at Finn but he didn’t say anything.
“Thanks.” I shuffled toward the hallway. Everything ached, but before long my muscles relaxed and the worst of the kinks worked themselves out.
“So, what movie did you go to?” I didn’t want to talk about anything that mattered yet, but I knew it was cruel to make them wait for long.
“She wouldn’t go see kung fu.” Finn glared at Addie. “Or Terminator.”
“Don’t act like I got my way.” Addie leveled her gaze at him and he shrugged.
“So, what?” I laughed. “You saw something that neither of you liked?”
“It was that new alien one.” Finn looked at me and grinn-
ed. “Don’t worry, the humans won … again.”
“That’s a relief.” I rolled my shoulders, trying to release the tension.
Addie shook her head in mock sadness. “Poor aliens didn’t even see it coming.”
“Yeah, it was shocking, really. They were about to win and then we used our wits to pull this amazing turn-around at the end.” Finn twirled my IV stand in a circle and then back again before my tube got all tangled up.
I laughed. “I think I’ve seen that one … about a hundred times.”
Addie squeezed my arm. “Exactly.”
We made it down the first long hallway before Finn’s fidgeting became so obvious I decided to start talking and put him out of his misery. “I know you’ve got about a billion unanswered questions, so do you want me to explain or would you prefer to grill me?”
They exchanged a long glance.
“Not yet,” Addie said. “You don’t have to yet.”
At the same time, Finn gave me a sheepish grin. “Well, now that you mention it … ”
I chuckled for a moment, but my body ached with the motion so it was short-lived. Addie held tight to my arm and shook her head with a frown at her brother.
“Really, Addie. I’m strong enough, and you guys have been waiting days already.”
I took a long, deep breath and told them what had happened—from my conversation with Dr. Freeburg, to his pervy dream, to getting in the car intending to confront him. I skipped over the part at his house, moving on to the accident with the oak tree. I didn’t mention Darkness or attacking Freeburg in his dream—no sense telling them I’d dreamed of killing him and then found him dead. Not when I still wasn’t sure what had happened. Reality was blurred, and at least some of the things I saw were impossible. If I’d been hallucinating, maybe Dr. Freeburg wasn’t even dead. The empty hole in the pit of my stomach said otherwise, but I held on to hope like a vise.
Luckily, my friends were focused on something entirely different.
“Wait—so Mia’s dreams aren’t really dreams? Or what?” Finn’s brow creased in confusion.
“Not sure. They start with some kind of self-hypnosis.” I shrugged. “As far as I know, that’s the only difference between her dreams and everyone else’s … so it has to have something to do with why I can sleep in them. Dr. Freeburg said the brain works differently in a hypnotized state, and it must be related to that.”
“The nightmares too?” Addie asked.
“I’m not sure. Nightmares can be repetitive, but I’m sure she was still trying to create the peaceful dreams.” I let out a puff of air. “It’s not like she’s volunteering to have these nightmares, trust me.”
It was silent for a minute.
“So then, theoretically, you could sleep in anyone’s dreams
—as long as they did self-hypnosis?” Addie glanced at me and then quickly away.
“I don’t know. I guess that makes sense. I haven’t been in anyone’s dream since the accident, so maybe slamming my head really hard magically fixed it. If I’d known that, I would’ve crashed a car into a tree years ago. I’ve even had a few of my own dreams since I’ve been in the hospital.”
“Your own dreams?” Finn raised both eyebrows so high they nearly touched his hair. “Who was the last person you made eye contact with before the accident?”
Now that the drugs weren’t quite so strong, I thought back for a minute and then cringed, realizing why I hadn’t seen anyone’s dreams. It must be because Dr. Freeburg wasn’t dreaming anymore. So I could sleep in Mia’s dreams, or when the last person I made eye contact with, my Dreamer, was dead. Perfect. This was just what my warped mind needed—another excuse to hurt people.
Clearing my throat, I shrugged. “Can’t remember. It’s kind of hazy,” I lied. “I guess it could also be the drugs.”
“So you’re getting real sleep, then?” Addie glanced at my face and pursed her lips. “No wonder you look so good.”
Finn coughed and laughed at the same time, and Addie blushed.
“So healthy, I mean,” she muttered.
I stopped walking as a bout of nausea hit me. I found a waiting area to the side and took a seat.
“Anyway, what about Dr. Freeburg?” Finn asked. I jerked my head up to look at him.
“What about him?” My palms instantly started to sweat and I wiped them on the front of my hospital gown.
“His dream was sick.” Finn waited for me to respond, so I nodded. “Do you think he’s the one who’s been threatening Mia?”
“No.” In the dream I’d thought it was, but this didn’t make much sense when I was awake. Maybe I couldn’t blame anything on the man I might have murdered. Anyway, if he had been sending the e-mails, then I guess the problem had been dealt with.
I swallowed … hard.
Addie watched me closely, disgust curling her lip. “Why not?”
“I—I just don’t think it was him. How would he know my name and soccer number for the e-mail address?”
“Maybe she told him about you—that you were following her?” Finn rubbed his chin with his left hand and grabbed my IV stand with his right.
I stood up again. “I think maybe I should go back to the room.”
“Wait—how did you know about the e-mail address?” Addie got to her feet.
“Mia shoved one of the e-mails into my hand when I tried to tell her about my curse.”
They exchanged another look, but I pretended not to see it.
“I’m sorry, guys, but I think I should go rest.” Turning back toward my room, I waited for them to join me. They both nodded and said they understood, but I knew they couldn’t, not really. I needed them to leave. I needed some time to think about everything, to come up with answers to satisfy myself and them.
Halfway down the hall, Finn’s phone rang and he grimaced as he answered. I could hear his dad’s voice, and he didn’t sound happy. I glanced at Addie and she shrugged. “We didn’t exactly tell him we were coming here after the movie. We thought he’d still be here.”
I nodded and Finn said, “Okay, okay. We’re coming.” Then he snapped his phone closed. “Dad’s home. He says to leave Parker alone.”
&n
bsp; “It’s fine. You guys go. I’ll try to get some sleep.”
“No.” Addie shook her head with a frown. “Finn can get the car while I make sure you get to your room okay. It won’t take much longer, and we promised the nurse we’d stay with you.”
I opened my mouth to argue, but Finn passed the IV stand to his sister. “I’ll see you tomorrow, man. Get better fast, okay? Hospital food sucks.” He mock-punched my shoulder and walked past me to the elevator. “Five minutes, Addie.”
He pressed the button, and a few seconds later the doors opened. As soon as Finn was out of sight, I grabbed the IV stand. Addie sighed and gripped my arm tighter.
“You know, I’m really all right. I can walk without you supporting me.”
She flushed but didn’t let go. And this was why I shouldn’t be allowed around normal people—I hadn’t meant to embarrass her.
Almost a full minute passed before she responded. “I know.”
We walked in silence most of the way down the hall, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. It felt so good to be close to her. I liked the way her cheeks got a little pink when she looked at me. The way her hands felt warm on my biceps. Addie made me feel better. Even my problems felt a little more distant when she was around.
With the curtains all closed, the room was mostly dark when we walked in. Only a small bit of light streaming out through the crack under the bathroom door kept it from complete blackness. When we got inside, I pushed my IV to the side of my bed and only turned around when I heard the door close. I squinted in the darkness, thinking Addie must’ve left. The intense wave of disappointment I felt surprised me.
But then I saw a few quick, silent movements in the shadows and she was in front of me. Her soft smile tugged up one side of her mouth. When I grinned back, she laughed. Placing one warm hand on my chest, she gave a small push with one finger. “You should lie down now.”
I grabbed her hand and sat on the hospital bed. For a moment, she didn’t move. My heart pounded in my ears, nearly deafening. I felt alive again.
She stood so close, her hand in mine. I wished the light was behind me so I could see her eyes. It was more tempting than anything to reach out and—but I wouldn’t. Finn would kill me.
With a small sigh, she pulled her hand away and walked to the door. She turned on the light and came back to the side of my bed. She met my eyes, and the intensity in hers surprised me.
“I need you to promise me something.”
“Sure.” The word came out before I could even think about it.
“Go to sleep as soon as I leave.”
“Why?”
“If you’re still seeing dreams, I want them to be mine. I’m kind of curious … ”
As much as I tried, I couldn’t keep the smirk from spreading across my face. “Oh? Won’t you feel all violated and stuff?”
The corner of her mouth lifted in a sly grin. “No. It’s different if you’re invited.”
With a nod, I lifted my legs up on the bed and pulled the covers over them. This wasn’t a hard request. Now that she wasn’t as close, my heart slowed and I relaxed. Exhaustion rolled over me like a dump truck. My head weighed a ton. Only the expression on Addie’s face kept me from lying back on my pillow and closing my eyes. I didn’t know how, but I’d known her long enough to see how upset she was. A strange mixture of guilt and an intense desire to make it better washed over me.
I reached out and tugged on her fingers. “What’s wrong?”
With one quick move, she sat on my bed and threw both arms around my neck. Without even thinking, I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her in tight. My breath caught in my throat and I was extremely aware of the way she felt against me. Her shoulders were shaking; I squeezed her tighter. I’d do anything to make her happy again.
“Addie? What’s going on?”
“You have no idea. I thought—we all thought—you were going to die.” Talking seemed to help, because she stopped trembling. Her fingers clung to my shoulders like they were her lifeline. I didn’t know what to say, so I rubbed her back and let her talk. Her breath warmed my skin as she spoke against the thin hospital gown.
“And then you woke up, and I was there, and you seemed okay. And then you—you—” She shook her head and didn’t finish.
“I’m fine. Everything is okay.” I had no idea how to make her feel better. This was new territory and I felt unprepared.
Addie took a few deep breaths and my body moved with each one. Her scent—fresh citrus—surrounded me. I never wanted to let her go.
“Please, be careful. You need—I need you to be around.”
I didn’t know how to respond. Holding her felt incredible, natural. A thrill of excitement flowed through me at her words, but it was accompanied by dread. She was Finn’s sister—that was serious betrayal. How could I fix it? I didn’t want to hurt either of them. Or myself, if I was really being honest.
I took a deep breath, hesitating. “I’m not going anywhere.”
She pulled away, smiled, and kissed my cheek. I couldn’t think straight. Her lips were so soft. I could still feel them against my skin as I watched her stand up from the bed, turn off the lights, and walk out of the room. “Good night.”
In the silence, my idiocy began to sink in. Over the past few weeks, Addie had become like another best friend. This—whatever it was—would probably ruin both of my friendships. It was already difficult to make myself stop thinking about being close to her again. How could I not wonder what it would be like to kiss her? Maybe I could talk to Finn. Would he really care?
Yes. Yes, he would.
I pushed my hands into my forehead and groaned. Lean-
ing back into my pillow, I closed my eyes. As my mind drifted, flashes of Darkness and Dr. Freeburg plowed through it like an avalanche down my spine.
I jerked straight up in bed, knowing what I would have to do. I couldn’t risk Addie. Somehow, I needed to stop whatever was happening between us before it really started.
Some kind of monster lived in my mind, and I deserved nothing from Addie. From anyone, really—Finn, Mia, even my mom. I didn’t deserve their trust, not when I couldn’t even trust myself.
I couldn’t risk any of the people that meant the most to me, not until I could be sure about what had happened with Freeburg. Not until I knew that I was safe to be around.
twenty-seven
I was in my familiar white nothingness for a while before I entered Addie’s dream. We were surrounded by a shimmery silver mist with no walls, no ceiling, nothing at all, really—only mist. I could see the night stars peeking through when the air shifted. Addie sat cross-legged, looking up at them. She didn’t move or even blink. Just waited.
A rolling wave of mist curled up and over her legs. A slight breeze lifted a strand of hair off her shoulder and flipped it over. After a moment she took a deep breath and sighed. I kept expecting something to change, but it remained the same.
Most dreams had something happening. The dreamer was focused on something else, someone else. But Addie knew I was coming, and she was only focused on me.
I’d never seen anything like it.
This wasn’t one layer, like Mia’s, but it wasn’t a normal dream either. It was unique and amazing, just like Addie.
She was wearing navy shorts and a gray tank top that almost blended with the mist. I stood for a minute, not wanting to disturb her. Her long hair shimmered like dark copper in the starlight, and I could make out the sprinkle of tiny freckles on her nose. Looking at her made me understand why the word “beautiful” was invented. “Pretty” just wasn’t accurate.
Walking over, I sat down beside her. The ground felt like a firm pillow, but I didn’t pay much attention to it. The need to touch her was overwhelming, but my decision to distance myself from her made me hesitate.
In this dream, for this moment, maybe it w
ould be okay. Here, we were safe. After this, I would stay away. I would protect her.
I would let go.
I took a deep breath and placed my hand on top of hers. Instantly she smiled, and my body warmed from the inside out. She wrapped her fingers around two of mine. I’d never noticed how much bigger my hand was than hers.
“Hi,” she whispered. She still hadn’t looked at me, like she was afraid I wasn’t really there. “Guess you still have your curse.”
I leaned forward until I caught her eye. “Looks like it.” I watched the mist move through the dream around us. “This is different though.”
“Is it? I was just trying to think calm thoughts while I fell asleep.”
“Well, this is pretty calm.” I watched the mist swirling around her. There were still so many things about this curse, and the dreams themselves, that I didn’t understand. I’d never seen a Dreamer control a dream in this way. I don’t know that anyone had ever tried, but still. She also seemed so aware, with none of the confusion the subconscious usually brings with it … she seemed almost awake.
She grinned. “Lie down.”
I looked from her to the misty ground and back to her. What was she up to?
“Relax and lie down.” Addie laughed. “I want to see if you can sleep here.”
“Oh, did you use hypnosis?” I glanced around, certain she hadn’t. Although it was similar to the stillness of Mia’s painting dreams, I could feel a difference in my bones.
Addie leaned back and scooted closer to me. “No, but I was hoping maybe it might work with me too.” Her mouth curved up at the corner in a cute lopsided smile. She tugged on my hand until I lay on my side facing her. “Could you please cooperate—just this once?” She batted her eyelashes and then stuck her tongue out at me.
I couldn’t help but laugh. “Okay, but only this once. After that, I will be as uncooperative as possible.”
Insomnia (The Night Walkers) Page 21