I pass Trent in the hall and he looks at the tray. “Good night, then?” he asks, arching a brow.
Ignoring him I just go to wake up my wife. It’s none of his business that she slept on the cold floor.
My father’s eyes just about bug out of his head when the three of us walk into church, Ailee between myself and the man who is a stranger to all except my sister.
Viv chokes on air when her eyes land on us, and I can hear whispers weaving through the congregation as we take our seats with the family. Ailee’s family are seated on the opposite side of the church and her father offers me a respectful nod, while her mother’s face needs some deliverance as she can’t hide her utter shock at all.
Sitting beside my sister, we are just in time for the service. The priest starts his shuffle down the center of the church, the man now too old to walk, the same man that married us. He isn’t a man of God, but a man of questionable morals and deep ties to the crime families who run this city.
I place a hand on Ailee’s leg when I see how it is jumping, her nervousness visible in the way she has her hands clasped in her lap. She hasn’t said a word to Trent. She’s not even looked in his direction once since we left the house, and even now she stares straight ahead.
“Are you fucking nuts?” my sister whispers as the organ starts to play.
“Shh, we are in church.” Frowning, I give her a serious elbow to the ribs.
“I know, and so is your wife and her lover. Have you lost your mind?” She’s trying to whisper, but people are all around us and someone will hear her.
“Shut up, Viv, it’s none of your business. We can talk after church, when every flapping ear on every old lady isn’t listening to us.”
She stops the interrogation.
I catch a small glimpse of my Nonna’s smile as she gives us a sideways glance, followed by her shush like we are still children misbehaving in the pews. I silently pray to God that I can actually pull this off and it doesn’t blow up in my face. I hope Trent’s instinct for self-preservation is enough to get us through this, because I will kill him if he opens his mouth and says one wrong word.
The sermon about unconditional love is like a sick joke from heaven above as I look to the two people beside me and consider if what I feel for them is love, or simply a lust that will be satisfied quickly, leaving me empty and alone again. No matter what it is for now, it’s all I have.
Trent looks bored out of his mind as the communion begins, and remains in the chair with Ailee as I go to the front with my family. She will have to go to confession so she can take communion. Then again, that might be a terrible idea in itself.
I don’t trust the priest to keep that big of a secret – I know men who have died after a confession in this very church. She can just confess her little white transgressions, which should count as enough. Maybe coming to church with both of them was a bad idea.
Lightning may strike us dead, but I’ve always liked playing with fire. And the challenge, the secret, the game, it all excites me, and I haven’t been excited in a long time.
Trent has his eyes firmly on my hand where it is touching her leg, and he moves so that his leg is brushing against hers, a subtle display of marking territory.
I want to pounce on him like a lion and rip his throat out, but images of him fucking her are all I see. These are inappropriate thoughts for the final hymn of Sunday service.
We stand as the music sounds, and as her hands fall to her sides I take one, and ever so discreetly so does he. I watch her slip down the middle for a moment before she pulls both away and holds them behind her back. His smile is a challenge to me.
Filing out of the building, I place my hand on her back, guiding her past people I have no doubt will love to ask the questions burning on their viscous tongues. Gossip will be rife tomorrow, and by the look on her face my mother-in-law will be the one dishing it up in spades.
The congregation lingers on the front steps and sidewalk to talk; my father calls me over with a wave of an arm to where he is shaking hands with our Russian associates. Guiding Ailee with me, and with Trent half a step behind us, we move through the gray-haired women and men in hats, to get to where he is waiting for me.
“Son, you remember Yury.” The tall, blond man, holds out a hand for me to shake.
“Yes, nice to see you again. This is my wife, Ailee. And our friend Trent. Will you be joining us for lunch today, Yury?”
Occasionally, when we are in the middle of business like we are now, my father will invite associates to join the family.
“He is joining us, yes. Are Ailee and your friend coming?” I nod at my father. “Have you told your Nonna to cook for extras?”
I haven’t, and she will make a scene and still have enough food to feed ten extra guests anyway, but I had better find her and let her know.
“No, I will find her now. See you at lunch, Yury, Dad.” I say a swift goodbye and scan the tops of heads looking for my grandmother.
I see my sister first, a few steps away from us, and she is deep in conversation with one of her friends. Tapping her on the shoulder causes her to spin around, and she bursts out laughing.
“There you are, the mad man.”
I growl at her, it’s an instinctual reaction. “Viv, did you drive with Nonna?”
She smiles her evil little-sister grin with her perfectly straight teeth. “I did. Why, my dear brother?”
This is going to cost me, I know it already. “Please tell her that Ailee, Trent, and dad’s Russian friend will be joining for lunch today.”
She looks past me at Trent, then at Ailee staring at the floor like a scared little church mouse hiding her face from everyone.
“Oh, this is going to be ten levels of good. I hope she has popcorn because I can’t wait to see how this goes.”
“Just tell her, Viv.” I lean in to kiss her cheek goodbye and leave her with a whisper, “One fucking wrong word and I will invite your boyfriend to lunch next Sunday. I’m sure Papa will approve.”
I know he won’t and she does too, so I know my threat has some weight behind it. Giving her a golden smile, I wind my way through the crowd towards my car.
We are stopped a few times for idle chatter and too many ‘oh, it’s so good to see that you two are happy, together at last’ comments.
“We are having lunch with my family, and my father has a business guest, so for the love of fucking God you two, don’t make a cock up. Stay away from my sister, she’s a venomous little bitch, and don’t touch each other.”
I glare at Trent in the rearview mirror when I say it.
“My family are very perceptive. Aside from my cousin, none of them know about our current arrangement. The story is that you are Ailee’s friend and are helping her move and settle in. That’s it. Neither of you elaborate on that. We are going to have to live through this once a week, we might as well get used to it.”
“Can’t we just go home?” Ailee asks beside me, looking out of the car window.
“No, we cannot. This is what my family does on Sunday, so this is what you do on Sundays now.” I try to sound as if I am the man in control, but truth is I am afraid the man in the back seat may let my secret out in front of family, and then I will have bigger problems than I ever had before. “And Trent, vegan or not, eat whatever she dishes up for you, or feed it silently to the dog, but do not offend my Nonna.”
We don’t talk any more. He shakes his head and stares out the window, and Ailee sits as far from me as the car allows her to.
Parking outside my family home, I swallow my fears and remember I am to be the head of this home soon, and that it is them who should fear me, not me them.
“Let’s go in and get this over with.” I unlock the doors so we can get out, then walk around to open hers.
I offer a hand to help her, but she glares at me and ignores it.
Her heels click loudly on the paved driveway and up the front steps, and she looks like a princess in her dark-red dress, h
er legs seeming longer in the black patent heels.
I touch her again, like an animal marking its territory, and guide her through the front door. Familiar smells comfort me and unsettle her, and she pulls away from me. I take off my jacket and hang it on the coat stand at the door.
Trent does the same as we share a glance and an unspoken understanding, the gun in my belt a little reminder that I am not to be trusted.
“Go join the ladies in the kitchen. Don’t engage with my sister, but make yourself useful,” I say to Ailee, as we start moving through the house. “I have business to deal with in the study, my father is waiting. You, Trent, can go out back on the porch where the other men are.”
Only the children will be out there, but he’s used to kids so I don’t care. Ailee hesitates. She’s standing here, not moving at all.
“It’s through there, Ailee.” I point to the kitchen door before I leave them and go find the men. With Yury here, this is a work lunch.
My cousin’s youngest comes barreling into the study to call us men for lunch. The Nonna has spoken, and we quickly get up and make our way to the large table on the back porch.
On the grass Trent is playing soccer with the boys, kicking and running after the ball. He has rolled up the sleeves of his shirt and the top buttons are open, the tie he wore earlier is shoved into his pocket.
I watch him run circles around them with his long legs, and even I am impressed with his ball skills. I snigger to privately at my ‘ball skills’ thought. I bet his ball skills are impressive.
Shaking my head, I look around for Ailee.
She comes from the kitchen, carrying a plate in one of my Nonna’s aprons, her hair pulled up into a messy bun on top of her head and wearing a genuine smile as the old lady scoots her out of the way.
I sat in that study sweating with worry and they just fit in; there is nothing strange about them being here for anyone except me. My Nonna looks at me with a knowing smile, like I have finally made her happy.
The ladies fill the center of the table with pots and dishes, and as the men start to sit the old lady yells for the boys and Trent to go wash their hands and come sit down.
When we are all seated I end up between Ailee and Trent, with Yury next to my father in my usual spot. Nonna says grace in Italian before we start passing food around and filling our plates. The smell of tomato and basil fills the fresh outside air and conversations go around the table.
My papa and Yury talk about the man’s children. Nonna chats to one of my cousins who appears nearer eleven months pregnant with their third child. She’s wishing for a girl but the old woman thinks it will be another boy.
Opposite us, my sister Viv stares, her eyes glued to Trent as he eats his lunch quietly, only talking when spoken to, which comes mostly from the boys who are still yammering on about soccer. Ailee glances around the table, eating her food. Some of the women try too hard to be nice, and she smiles and answers politely.
I put down my knife and fork and place a hand on her thigh beneath the table, making her jump a little, but not enough for anyone to really notice.
“So Ailee,” Viv starts to talk, and I immediately glare at her. “It’s nice to finally have you with us for Sunday lunch. What made you change your mind?” Everyone stops talking and looks at my wife.
The color drains from her face as she swallows the food in her mouth before she can answer. “Your brother is quite persuasive when he makes the effort.”
I am about to snap at my rude little bitch sister when her devilish smile grows. I feel Trent’s hand on my leg as he leans forward to rest on the table so no one can see the intimate touch. Somehow it stops me from overreacting and losing control, the three of us connected, like a chain restraining me.
“And your friend, is he visiting with you guys?”
Her glare locks with Trent and I can’t help but think she’s putting the moves on him, even though she knows who he is. She has a boy-toy of her own to play with, so she can leave mine alone. Mine.
“Trent is staying for a while, yes. I needed some help settling in and fitting in with Rain’s schedule, so it helps to have a friend with me.” Ailee is the one giving the evil eye now. “But you don’t need to look so concerned, Viviana, he likes boys.”
The collective gasp around the table, and Trent choking on his glass of wine, is followed by some not very nice Italian comments from the older men at the table.
My sister looks like she wants to cry, and her disappointment is actually amusing to me.
“Who wants dessert?” Nonna rescues the conversation as she stands and starts clearing plates away.
The women all follow suit, including Ailee and my sister. Trent doesn’t let go of my leg. Ailee’s comment has angered him, but also put me in a very awkward position.
“Well, at least you won’t steal his wife,” my uncle says to him, shrugging his shoulders and throwing his napkin on the empty plate in front of him.
Sixteen
Condition
AILEE
Lunch was possibly the most awkward, unreal thing I have ever experienced. They all acted like it was just normal that I should show up; that I was there of my own free will. Not one of them was upset that he coerced me into this stupid, fucking new arrangement. Trent was making eyes at his sister, but feeling him up under the table – the whole thing was like a bad comedy.
Now, thinking about it, I chuckle to myself. Only I could land myself between two men in this insane situation.
For a second I reflect back on my life, like a slide show, and it’s a comedy of errors from start to finish.
When we return to Rain’s house late in the afternoon, the sun is sinking. It’s that pink time of day between afternoon and night. A soft glow filters in through the windows. We move around quietly putting our things down, waiting for something to happen, but none of us want to do or say anything. We float about aimlessly, watching one another, but at the same time avoiding each other.
I go to the bedroom and change out of the uncomfortable church clothes and heels, into yoga pants, a tank top, and fluffy socks.
The door squeaks and I know I’m not alone anymore.
When I step out of the walk-in-closet my husband is looming in the doorway with a deep frown on his face.
“We need to discuss how things will work, because tomorrow is a work day. Come through to the kitchen when you are ready. I’ve made coffee.”
But he doesn’t leave. He just stands there, looking at me, with those dark eyes boring holes through the clothes I wear. It makes me uncomfortable. I feel exposed and naked, and afraid.
Shaking his head like he’s snapping out of a trance, he leaves me, and I breathe again. My skin prickles with an uncomfortable dread; I am afraid of what he’s going to say. My job is the only thing that I really do love and I won’t just give it up. I worked damn hard for it and he can’t take it from me. But I know he can if he wants to.
Slowly walking back to the front of the house, I feel like a train moving through a tunnel. All I can see is the end of it and I fear what will be waiting for me when I get to that shining light.
What I didn’t expect to see was Trent and Rain lip-locked in a kiss that makes me blush, and I step back into the shadows. My shock fast turns to jealousy as I watch Trent touch him, like he touches me. I’m not able to look away.
Rain has his hands in Trent’s hair, holding him so that he can kiss him back. The hair on my neck stands on end and I get goosebumps watching them.
Their bodies push and pull against each other, stumbling until they crash against the counter and stop, but Rain still moves forward forcing them together, their hips grinding into one another. Trent’s hands are in the back pockets of Rain’s pants and Rain is cupping his cheeks. I have a strange desire to touch them, to go closer, but I am afraid that this is a carefully constructed plan and I am being used and punished.
Curiosity churns and mixes with jealousy until I feel my body is hot with frustration, anger
and bitter rejection. I can smell the coffee mixed with their cologne as it fills the space, the body heat and contact making it seep into my air, choking me with confusion.
Trent’s eyes open and catch mine. They are glossed over, soft and shining with desire – he used to look that way when he was making out with me. I knew he liked men too, but I never imagined seeing him like this, touching a man sexually.
I want to look away but his eyes draw me, and I step into the light, where hard bodies, big hands and primal sounds, make my blood turn a shade of lime with envy. I want Trent to kiss me and grab my ass, and let me grind against him – that was mine.
It is mine and I won’t let Rain take it from me.
I know Trent loves me – he’s just angry. I see that vindictive look in his eyes while he touches my husband, grabbing his cock through his pants, putting on a show to hurt me.
Each touch is one he’s used on me, and it makes me hot, hot and angry. By the time I am halfway across the kitchen Trent has unbuttoned Rain’s pants and has one hand inside them, but he still looks at me, no, he taunts me with his smirking eyes. I bite my quivering lip and bargain with the tears that I want to cry.
“You can come closer, Ailee, neither of us will bite – hard.”
His deep voice rumbles. The devil’s smile creeps across his face when he throws his head back and Rain kisses his exposed neck, where his shirt is unbuttoned. His long fingers grip the back of Rain’s neck, holding him there, the same long fingers he used to pleasure me, now touching my husband. I want to chop each finger off, but I so desperately want him to touch me with them again.
“I don’t want to come closer, Rain called me. What do you want?”
The anger returns as I remind myself, there are two of them, Ailee, and one of you. Who do you think is being played?
This is a game. I don’t know who controls the game yet, but I’m not fucking playing along. If they want to fuck each other, they can. I am not going to get fucked in this mess.
Cut & Blow: Book 1 Page 14