by Jill Sanders
“What’s wrong?” He rushed towards her.
“I want to use my cell phone.” She held out her hands, waiting.
He looked at her and without a word, walked over to the small desk and pulled open the drawer and handed her the phone. If she hadn’t been so upset, she might have thought about searching the house for the phone, but she could only think about her father’s betrayal.
She took the phone and walked into the bedroom and shut the door behind her. Taking a few deep breaths, she punched in her father’s number and waited for him to answer the phone—and all of her questions.
Chapter Eleven
Ryan stood on the other side of the door and listened to her conversation. He could only hear her side but understood immediately what she was so upset about.
She hadn’t known that her father had been an undercover narcotics officer. Like he was. He felt as if he’d been slammed in the gut. He took a few steps back and when his knees hit the couch, he sat and stared at the closed door.
He felt as if his eyes were open for the first time since he’d met her over a week ago. He should have known she was too perfect, at least for someone like him. He’d overheard her talking to her father about his kind of job and was disappointed when she’d said that it was the worst thing he could have hidden from her.
She’d been proud that her father was a PI, and she’d even boasted that he’d retired from being a detective, but the fact that he’d worked narcotics had sent her over the edge.
How did she feel about his job? He hadn’t thought it was an issue, but maybe it was?
He’d been a fool and was thankful he’d found out now, before he’d allowed his feelings for her to get any stronger. Standing up quickly, he walked back to the door and pulled on his soggy boots and jacket, grabbed the truck keys, and shut the door behind him.
He drove down the muddy road, unsure where he was headed but knowing that he needed some time to think and to readjust.
Earlier that morning he’d spent almost an hour on the unregistered phone with his superiors. For now, they wanted him and Nikki to stay put. They’d wanted to send a couple units to help them out, but he’d finally convinced his chief that they weren’t needed. He knew the job was dangerous. Hell, he even had a few holes in his hide to prove it. But he’d never stopped to think about what Nikki might think about it. He’d never worried about what anyone else thought before. Now it mattered and he couldn’t stop thinking about it.
He parked outside the Rusty Rail, the only bar within a fifty mile radius of Fairplay. He had only been there once before, when he and Reece were sixteen and had come to visit their cousins. They’d tried to sneak into the bar, figuring they didn’t know anyone in town so no one would notice. He could still remember being scolded by the owner for trying it.
Now he sat out in the truck and his stomach rolled at the thought of going in and drinking away his problems. His father had always done that. Then he’d come home and wailed on his kids for a while.
He had sworn he’d never be like his old man, so why had he come here at the first sign of trouble?
He leaned his head against the steering wheel and sighed. Turning on the old truck, he turned towards his brother’s place instead.
When he turned down the street, he noticed that all the lights were on. He drove up and parked behind his brother’s new truck.
He rushed through the rain and was surprised to find Melissa standing just inside the door, smiling at him.
“We’d hoped you’d show up sooner or later.” Her smile fell away when she noticed his face. “What’s wrong?” She took a step forward and looked off towards the truck. “Nikki?”
He shook his head. “Back at the house, talking to her father.”
“Oh? Well, come in.” She waved him inside, and then took his wet jacket, shook it, and hung it on a coat rack. “Come and sit down and tell me what’s bothering you.”
He frowned at her.
“Don’t try and play innocent. I’m in love with a man who gets that same scowl every time he’s worried about something.” She smiled.
He sat on the couch and looked around. “Reece isn’t here?”
She shook her head no. “He had to go into Tyler today to deliver a horse.”
She jumped when a loud boom of thunder crashed. She shook her head and chuckled. “Of course it would do this while he’s gone.”
“I can come back.” He started to get up.
“Don’t you dare.” She frowned at him. “If I can’t have Reece here during the storm, the least you can do is sit with me until he gets back.” She looked down at her watch. “Which should be any minute.” She smiled up at him again. “Now, spill it.”
He sighed. He could tell that he wasn’t going to get away without telling her what was on his mind.
“Do you think it bothers people, what I do?” He looked down at his fingers and waited.
“Are you joking?” She waited until he looked back up at her. “You have one of the most honorable jobs there is. You keep this country safe, you are protecting every one of us.” She leaned forward. “I worked in several hospitals in Houston, remember.”
He nodded, remembering her face as he’d tried to walk towards her, pain shooting throughout his entire body from the bullets that had torn up his insides.
“Good, then you know the kinds of horrors I witnessed while there. Not only with you”—she nodded and looked at his stomach—“but with thousands of others. Seeing young kids so young they couldn’t drive being shot up because they wore the wrong color or wouldn’t help sell drugs.” She shook her head. “God only knows what the reasons were, but it almost always came back to narcotics in one way or another. Especially in the last few years. I mean, all you have to do is pick up a paper and see what’s going on at the border.” She leaned back. “No, what you do doesn’t bother us. We’re extremely proud.” She smiled at him. “Concerned for your safety, but proud.”
He nodded and leaned back taking a deep breath. Maybe he was making it all up? Maybe it wasn’t about the job, but about her father?
“Now, are you going to tell me what this is all about?”
He looked over at his soon-to-be sister-in-law and frowned again. “How do you know if you’re in love with someone?”
“You feel like you’re sick and dying,” someone said behind him, and then there was a bark of laughter as his brother walked in and smiled down at him.
“Well, thanks.” Missy stood and walked over to kiss his brother square on the lips, and then she slapped him playfully on the arm. “Is that how you feel around me? Sick?”
Reece hung up his wet coat and shook Ryan’s hand. “Now, does Nikki know you’re in love with her yet?”
He must have paled a little, because Missy stepped up. “Don’t scare him. I think he’s not sure of it yet.” She walked over and took his arm and forced him to sit back down. “How about I go make us some dinner while you two talk.” She quickly disappeared after nodding to her husband.
Reece chuckled. “I know what you’re going through bro.” He shook his head and crossed his leg. Ryan watched as his brother rubbed at a sore spot on his thigh for a while.
“Problems?” He nodded to the leg.
“Hmm?” His brother looked down and chuckled. “Just an old injury that gives me pain every now and then. I’ve heard you’ve had a few close calls yourself.”
Ryan looked down at his stomach and nodded. “That was a close one.”
“So, wanna compare scars or talk about women?”
He laughed. “You always did have a way of making me laugh. Maybe it was because you’re so ugly.” It was an old joke between them, and the men smiled identical smiles.
Ryan leaned back and shook his head. “I think I screwed this up.” He closed his eyes and rested his head back against the chair.
“You haven’t hit her?” When Ryan glared at his brother, he held up his hands in defeat. “You haven’t lied to her?” Again, he glared at his brother. “Have
you told her how you feel?”
Ryan looked down at his fingers and shook his head no.
“Well, then”—his brother leaned closer and slapped him on the back—“that’s your problem. Women love to hear that stuff.”
Ryan shook his head. “How can I feel this way so soon? I mean, I’ve only known her for…” He looked down at his watch and laughed and shook his head.
“Does it matter?” Reece asked, interrupting his calculations.
“Hell, yeah, it does.” Ryan got up and walked towards the fireplace. “How can it be happening this soon?”
Reece laughed. “Everything with you always happened fast. Or did you forget?” His brother walked over and stood next to him.
“Hmm?” He turned towards him.
“You don’t remember?” Reece shook his head. “I guess you’ve been under for so long, you’ve forgotten yourself.” He chuckled and leaned against the mantel. “Fifth grade, Kristy Collins.”
“Kissy Kristy?” He chuckled at the nickname they’d made up for the girl who had been their first conquest.
Reece chuckled. “Yeah, we bet five dollars on who could get to Kristy to kiss us first.” He shook his head. “You won by ten minutes. It was that way with everything in life. You walked first, talked first, kissed first”—he leaned forward and whispered—“got laid first.” He shook his head and looked off towards the kitchen where Missy was cooking. “If you set your mind on it, you got there first.” Then Reece laughed. “It’s only fair that I found her first.” He nodded towards the kitchen and Ryan watched his brother’s eyes go soft when he thought of his future wife.
“You’ve found a good one there.”
“Yeah, she’s the one that found me, really.” He shook his head. “Without her, I wasn’t grounded.” He turned to him. “That’s how you know. You’ll feel it, not here,” he said, tapping his chest over his heart, “but here.” He tapped his gut. “You won’t want to be without her for a moment because it’ll feel wrong without her.”
Ryan thought about his brother’s words all the way through homemade pizza and the pie that Missy had picked up at Mama’s.
By the time he got back into the truck and turned towards the little house he shared with Nikki, it was close to midnight. The storm had finally passed, leaving the roads muddy and slick, and it took almost double the usual time to get back to the ranch. When he passed near the big house, he noticed all the lights were dark and even the barn was closed up for the night. He felt bad for staying so long at his brother’s house, but he had enjoyed talking to him and Missy. It had been years since he could be himself, and Reece just got him. He was still concerned he was making something out of nothing with Nikki. After all, he had only heard one side of her story. Maybe it wasn’t the job she’d been upset about, but something else.
When he stopped the truck in front of the house, worry flashed quickly. Every light in the small place was on. Not even shutting the truck door, he rushed to the front door and barged in.
Nikki jumped up from the couch, the blanket that had been over her legs falling to the ground as she screamed one of the loudest screams he’d ever heard.
“Sorry,” he said, holding up his hands towards her and looking around the room. Sure enough, every light was on, even the little one above the stove. When he looked back towards Nikki, her eyes were closed and her hand was over her heart as she tried to steady her breathing. When he saw her finally open her eyes, he asked, “Why is every light on?”
She picked up the couch pillow and tossed it at his head. He caught it and tried not to chuckle. “Because I’m watching that.” She nodded towards the television. He could see a woman running through the woods with, no doubt, a killer close on her heels.
He laughed and shook his head. “You’re watching a scary movie, and you turn on all the lights in the house but forget to lock the front door?” He laughed even harder when she tossed the other pillow at him and stomped her foot.
“It’s not my fault.” She crossed her arms over her chest and flipped off the television. “You were gone so long, I had to keep my mind off of the storm.”
He walked back out and shut and locked the truck and then knocked off his muddy boots and set them by the front door. He hung up his wet coat and smiled when he saw that she was still standing in the same spot, looking at the set like the villain was going to jump out from it and chase her.
“Why watch a scary movie?” He sat down on the small couch and pulled her down next to him. “I mean, there must be something else on.” He flipped through the channels.
“It’s less than a week until Halloween. What do you expect?”
“Really?” He shook his head. He’d forgotten about Halloween. Hell, he’d forgotten how long they’d been in hiding. Was it really only a week or two?
“What? You don’t like Halloween?” She turned towards him.
“Sure, I guess.” He shrugged his shoulders and muted the television.
“Did you go trick-or-treating as a kid?”
He shook his head no. “Our nearest neighbor was four miles away. Besides, Dad wouldn’t have let us eat the candy anyway.”
“You must have missed hanging with other kids your age then, being so far away and living in a small town.”
He shook his head again. “We didn’t know any different. I mean, when we came here, of course, we always enjoyed it a lot better. But we had each other.”
“Is that where you were tonight?” She pulled her legs up to her chest and hugged her knees.
“Yeah, I thought you’d like some privacy.” He looked down at his hands.
When she was quiet, he glanced over at her and saw the tears streaming down her face. “Oh, princess, don’t do that.” He pulled her close and used his thumb to gently wipe the tears streaming down her face.
“He lied to me. My whole life he lied to me.” She laid her head on his shoulder.
“Who?” He rubbed his hand over her hair and felt her sniffling as more tears soaked his shirt.
“My father. My whole life he told me he was a detective.”
“Isn’t he?” Fear and worry jumped into his mind.
“I suppose, but he worked undercover narcotics.”
“And? I’m a detective working undercover narcotics.”
She pulled back and looked up at him. “He never told me.”
He shook his head. “I guess I don’t understand.” He watched her get up and wipe her eyes with the back of her hands. “He would never really tell me what he did, just that he was a detective. I guess I’d always assumed it was like the TV shows. You know...” She sniffled and wiped her eyes again.
He tried not to laugh, but he couldn’t stop it. “You think what we do is supposed to be glamorous. Like you see on TV or in the movies.” He got up and put his hands on her shoulders. When she looked up at him, he smiled. “Princess, you do live in your own fairy tale.” He pulled her chin up until she looked at him. “What I do, and what your father used to, isn’t glamorous. There were months at a time that I didn’t even bathe. Months I spent living on the streets until I could prove to someone that I wasn’t a nark.” He pulled her back towards the couch.
“Would you lie to someone you love though?”
He pulled her close. “Lie? I think of what your father did as sheltering you from the raw facts.” If he’d had a daughter during all this, would he want to come home from work and tell her the gritty details? The answer was a definite no. Not even if she was an adult would he want her to know the facts of what he’d lived through over the last few years.
“Nikki, I know it’s hard to understand.” He shook his head and closed his eyes for a moment, “But there are some things that I wouldn’t even want my brother to know about this job.” He looked at her, begging for her to understand.
Nikki’s heart broke a little, seeing the concern in Ryan’s eyes. What had this man gone through in the last few years? Then her heart skipped. What had her father lived through? She’d bee
n so focused on feeling the betrayal, she’d never once considered that her father had been trying to protect her from the ugly truth about his job.
She sighed and rested her head against Ryan’s shoulder. “I’m sorry. I guess I never thought of it like that.”
He rubbed her hair, almost causing her to purr with pleasure. “I hope you weren’t too harsh on him.”
She sat up and gasped. “I have to call him back.” She made to move, but he held her still.
“It can wait until morning.” He smiled at her. “Besides, I’m sure he already knows how you really feel.”
She closed her eyes and tried to remember everything she’d said to her father hours ago. She shook her head no. “I think I made it very clear how I felt, and I definitely owe him an apology. But you’re right. It will have to wait until morning.” She leaned back as he flipped through the channels.
She ended up falling asleep against his chest as he watched the news, the only non-scary thing on at the time. She woke briefly as he carried her into the bed and crawled in next to her. She sighed as his arms wrapped around her and then drifted off into sleep.
Chapter Twelve
It was still too dark to see clearly when she opened her eyes. But somehow, she knew she was no longer in the small house on the ranch in East Texas. The floor under her was hard and cold. Pain shot up her arms like there were a million needles pricking her. Her eyes felt heavy and when she tried to focus, she had a hard time, as tears streamed out of her eyes.
Finally, a bright light shone in her face, and she blinked a few times before she could make out the shape in front of her. Her father sat across the small room from her. His head was down, his gray hair was wet, and she could see blood dripping from his face. When she tried to call out to him, her tongue wouldn’t work and it just came out as a moan.
Then the light shifted and she saw Ryan walking towards her. He had a smile on his face, and she noticed that his hair and beard were back. But now they were twice as thick. His clothes were slick and shiny, almost hurting her eyes. She tried to call out to him, but again her mouth wouldn’t work. Looking down, she realized she was tied to a chair as well. Then she tasted the dirty rag that was shoved in her mouth and realized she’d been gagged.