Hawk

by Rasey, Patricia A.

  Gravel crunched beneath his boots as he headed for the front door, knowing Cara would be inside. Her black Charger sat to the right of the stoop, telling him as much, but her scent gave her away along with that of Grayson’s mate. He couldn’t help wonder how the poor woman fared. The process of the change was grueling and could take a few days. Going through it without a mate at your side had to suck. At least then, she’d have known Grayson would be there for her in the end. Unfortunately with the fucked up circumstances, she’d have no one, making her future foreign and likely a bit scary. By process alone, she’d be considered Grayson’s mate. After all it was his blood that ran through her veins. But Kaleb knew there was no way in hell his VP would honor that. And given the same situation, he probably would have reacted much in the same way as Grayson … maybe even more so.

  Thankfully Cara had been there to aid her through the process.

  Suzi came to mind. He couldn’t help thinking of her, lying on the bed between his spread thighs as he helped her through the process and agony. Kaleb shook his head and sighed as he opened the door and stepped into the clubhouse. Damn, he had it bad. Suzi must have seized the heart he feared he didn’t possess to even entertain the idea of taking on a lifelong partner. But now that she was back in his life, he couldn’t imagine a life without her. No more fucking around. He wouldn’t chance losing her a second time. Even though the idea damn near stole the breath from his body and went against everything he thought to once believe, he knew what he wanted … needed.

  “Back here, Hawk,” Cara called out.

  Not that she’d needed to inform him. He could smell the pain and fear of the young donor. His sympathy went out to the redhead and he suddenly felt like kicking Grayson’s ass. Even though he couldn’t have been faulted, he should have been more aware. This should have never happened in the first place. Kaleb walked the short distance to the back of the clubhouse and peered in the dim room.

  “How’s she doing?”

  “Pretty well, considering. You talk to Gypsy?”

  Kaleb rubbed the stubble on his chin as he took in a deep breath. “Sorry to say, but I don’t think you’re going to get any help from him.”

  “Can’t you do something? You’re the club president. You could order him to be here.”

  “I could, but…” He stopped himself, not wanting to speak his mind in front of the young redhead.

  “But what, Hawk? You don’t think he should be? It’s his job as her mate to help her through this.”

  “Look, Cara…” Kaleb scratched the spot behind his left ear. Cara would undoubtedly be livid with him. But this sure in the hell wasn’t Grayson’s fault. “Call it what you want, but Gypsy didn’t ask for this. I can’t hardly fault him. Give him time.”

  “Where’s he at?”

  “Blondy’s. Said he was going to live there for the time being,” he said. “Hell, I’m betting he’ll even send Blondy after his clothes.”

  “Are you kidding? And you’re okay with this? Who’s responsible for Tamera then?”

  Kaleb grimaced. “Blame your mate, Cara. Viper volunteered the two of you.”

  “Oh, that’s rich!” Cara rose from the bed, her cheeks mottled with color from her rising anger. “You guys all band together, and in the meantime, Gypsy skirts his responsibility.”

  “It’s okay,” Tamera said, sucking in air as she did so. “Gypsy isn’t at fault. This is my doing.” She bit back another rush of pain, if her face was any indication. “I don’t want to be anyone’s burden.”

  Cara sat back on the bed and smoothed Tamera’s bangs from her forehead. “Sweetie, you are not a burden. I’m angry with Gypsy is all.”

  “Where’s Suzi?” Kaleb asked, in a sudden hurry to be anywhere but in this room. Not that he didn’t have compassion for the woman, but every second spent there made him seriously want to beat his VP to a pulp for being such an insensitive ass.

  “I told her to take a break, Hawk. She doesn’t seem to be handling this well. You may want to see if she’s okay.”

  “Her car is gone.”

  “I don’t know where she went. Maybe home to freshen up. She’s been gone about an hour.” Cara glanced back at him, telling Kaleb she worried about her friend. “Call her, Hawk.”

  He pulled his phone from his pocket, thumbed through his contacts then hit her name and placed the phone next to his ear. After ringing several times, her answering system picked up. Kaleb hit the END and re-pocketed the phone.

  “She’s not answering.”

  “Maybe she’s in the shower.”

  Kaleb bit back the rising panic. Something wasn’t sitting right with him. He supposed a shower could be a likely explanation. Quitting the room, he headed for the bar, needing a shot or two of Jack. After the day he had, he certainly could use one. Kaleb skirted the bar, pulled down a short highball glass, and placed it on the counter when his gaze landed on a donor necklace.

  “Cara?” he called out. “Does Tamera still have her donor necklace on?”

  “Yes, why?”

  “Son of a bitch.” He growled loud enough to raise the rafters. “Where the fuck does Suzi live?”

  Cara came trotting from Grayson’s room, wide eyed. “What is it?”

  He lifted the donor necklace from the counter, allowing it to dangle from his fingers. Just hours ago he had thought asking Suzi to be his mate was completely out of the question. Now, faced with losing her. He’d rather die than not have her by his side for all eternity.

  “Suzi’s?”

  “Who else would it belong to? What the hell happened here?”

  Cara wet her lips, her gaze thoughtful. “I knew she was having a hard time watching Tamera go through the pain. For awhile she was so pale I thought she might get sick. I told her to take a break.”

  “Where the fuck does she live, Cara?”

  “Not far from the Rave in Florence.” She rattled off the directions and the street address. “What are you going to do?”

  “Go get her … what the fuck does it look like?”

  “Anything I can do?”

  “Try calling her. If she’s at the house, get her to stay put. But for heaven’s sake, do not tell her I’m on my way.” He shoved the donor necklace in his jeans pocket. “She has any inkling of what I’m about to do, she may just run and then I’ll never see her again.”

  Cara’s brow furrowed. “What are you going to do, Hawk?”

  “I’m going to ask her to be my mate.”

  Cara’s mouth rounded as Kaleb pulled his bike keys from his other pants’ pocket. “If she calls you, find out where the hell she is, then call me. I can’t lose her a second time.”

  Heading for the door, he yanked it open and headed for his bike. He sure as fuck hoped she had gone home. Otherwise, he didn’t have a clue where to begin looking. Last time she ran it had cost him six months. And Kaleb wasn’t about to lose another day.

  Chapter 26

  The red color of her car was the first thing that caught his eye as Kaleb brought his bike to a halt at the stop sign, placing his booted feet on the pavement for balance. The townhouse with the beige brick facade and white flower boxes adorning each window Cara had described sat across the road and down two houses from the corner. A large wreath graced the center of the burnt orange door. Thankfully, Suzi’s Neon sat in the driveway, along with another car he didn’t recognize. The midnight-blue Chevy Camaro looked fairly new with its thirty-day plates. Maybe a friend of hers or Tamera’s had stopped by … or possibly a family member. In truth, he hadn’t bothered to get to know anything about Suzi, if she had parents or siblings, her likes or dislikes. Kaleb had been a self-centered son of a bitch and he didn’t deserve her. Hell, it was a miracle Suzi even bothered to stick around all these years. Kaleb needed to rectify that.

  Pushing off with the soles of his boots and pulling back on the rubber handle grip to gas the engine, Kaleb rounded the corner and pulled up alongside the second car, then killed the engine. He stepped over hi
s black seat, hung the skull cap from the handlebar, and peered into the tinted windows of the Camaro. Someone had good taste in cars, if one didn’t mind riding in a cage. He admired the sleek, black leather interior, proving the owner had spared no expense. Flat-black, wide stripes finished off the exterior paint job, giving it the mean look of the modern-day muscle car. Well, if he were to ride in a cage then this was certainly the type of car he’d choose.

  Kaleb looked back up at the townhouse, then headed for the entrance. Just before he reached the door, it swung inward and Draven stepped out. Kaleb’s ire skyrocketed. Not seeing Kaleb, the barkeep leaned in, kissed Suzi on the cheek, then turned and ran straight into Kaleb’s fist, snapping his head back as he crumbled to the floor. What the hell was the bar owner doing here? And why the fuck was he kissing his woman?

  Draven’s hand rose to the lump already swelling over his quickly purpling jaw. Kaleb reached out and helped the man to his feet. About that time all hell broke loose and Suzi started going ape shit on his ass, jamming her tiny fingers into his sternum and forcing him back toward the steps. Finally having had enough, he gripped the tiny brunette beneath her arms and set her away from him and smiled. Damn, he loved her spunk.

  “What the hell, man?” Draven worked the kink from his jaw, drawing both their gazes.

  Kaleb turned and faced the barkeep head on. “What the fuck are you doing here, Draven?”

  “She called me … not the other way around, man. Don’t go all postal on me. Take it up with your little donor. I’m here as a friend.”

  “You’re leaving.” It wasn’t a question.

  Draven placed his hands up, palms out. “I am. No need to get violent.”

  “Stay the fuck away from my woman, or next time I’ll break that jaw.”

  “Since when has anyone been yours?” Draven asked. “Last I knew, Hawk didn’t lay claim to any one woman.”

  “That’s none of your fucking business, Draven.”

  “Jesus, Hawk,” Suzi piped up. “Stop being a fucking bully! Why not head back to the clubhouse where you’re needed. Last I checked, I wasn’t anyone’s woman, yours or otherwise.”

  Dismissing him, just that easy, Suzi walked into the entrance and meant to slam the door in his face. Kaleb stuck the toe of his boot into the jamb, stopping her from shutting him out. He could tell by the puffiness of her eyes that she’d been crying before he had arrived. Not acknowledging that Draven still stood behind him, Kaleb easily nudged aside the door with his shoulder, then closed it, giving Draven no choice but to leave. Kaleb sure in the hell wasn’t about to worry about manners, not when he had more important matters at hand … namely, Suzi.

  He pulled her necklace from his pocket and hung it from his forefinger in front of her. “Yours?”

  Her bloodshot gaze locked with his. “Not anymore. That’s why I called Draven. I’m done, Hawk.”

  “You’re damn right you are.” No one was going to feed off his woman. And soon, neither would he if everything went as he hoped … not for nourishment anyway.

  “You can’t tell me what to do,” she crossed her arms beneath her breasts in a self-protective manner.

  “I can … and I will.”

  She rolled her eyes and walked away from him, leaving him standing by the door. Kaleb heard the soft rumble of the Camaro as it started, and backed out of the driveway. He’d deal with Draven later. He’d not be making anymore more house calls to Suzi, whether invited or not.

  “Is that all Draven was here for?”

  Suzi spun on her heel, and straightened her spine. All five-foot-two of her stiffened like a board. “What are you suggesting, Hawk?”

  “That you fucked him.”

  “Seriously?”

  “Answer the question, Suzi. Have you fucked him?”

  “If you are asking, in rude-like manner, if that’s what we were just up to, then no.” She perched her fists on her hips and glared at him. “I called him over to give him the news. I’m done donating.”

  “That’s only part of the question, Suzi.” Kaleb wasn’t sure he was going to like the answer, but he had to know. “Answer me.”

  Why it should matter, he didn’t know. It wasn’t fair of him to expect that she had remained celibate while he fucked anything with a skirt. “Did you ever fuck Draven?”

  “Yes.”

  His heart squeezed. “When?”

  “On occasion, Hawk. Why now does that matter?”

  “How long ago?”

  “Oh, for crying out loud. It doesn’t matter, Hawk.” She flopped down into the large cushioned chair. “I’m not having sex with him now.”

  “When?”

  “The last time was six months ago.”

  “Before or after I kissed you at the clubhouse.”

  Suzi took in a deep breath of air, then let it out slowly. “That night. I had nowhere else to go, so I went to see Draven.”

  His heart panged. “And he took advantage of you.”

  She rolled her eyes. “No, I took advantage of him, Hawk. I was pissed at you. I thought he could help me forget.”

  “Did it work?”

  She shook her head. “If it had, I wouldn’t be here. I’d still be with him.”

  “How many times since?”

  “That was the last time. Afterward, he introduced me to Tamera so I would have a place to stay and the rest is history.”

  “Did you love him?”

  “What the hell, Hawk?” Her voice raised. “What is this? Twenty questions?”

  “Please.” He knew if he demanded, she might not answer. “I need to know.”

  “No.” Tears slipped down his cheeks. “I never loved Draven.”

  It was time for truths. He’d not lose her to the barkeep. “Do you love me?”

  Her lower lip trembled. She was damn near close to breaking down. His intention was not to hurt her, but to prove to her that she belonged with him.

  “Answer me, piccolo diavolo. Do. You. Love. Me?”

  Her gaze left his, darting everywhere but at him. More tears fell, and she angrily swiped them away. Her chest rose and fell with exertion as if she had just ran a marathon. A sob escaped her as she finally looked back at him. His heart ached at the pain he saw within their depths. Suddenly, he feared what her answer might be. Maybe he shouldn’t have come, shouldn’t have slugged her ex-lover, and sure in the hell not pushed her into an answer.

  What if the answer was no?

  “Please, piccolo diavolo,” he whispered.

  “Why is it so important to you?”

  “Again, I need to know, Suzi.”

  “I left the clubhouse because I was scared. I left the lifestyle because I’m not strong enough to do this anymore. I thought I could. But I can’t Kaleb.”

  “None of that matters if you love me.”

  She chuckled non-humorously. “It all hinges on me being a complete coward. It doesn’t matter if I love you or not. What I saw today … what Tamera was going through. I’m not strong enough to ever endure what I witnessed.”

  “What you saw today was a woman without a mate.”

  Suzi nodded, looking to the floor. “How could that make a difference? The pain and torture Tamera was going through was excruciating.”

  “Cara survived it.”

  “She’s stronger than I am.” Suzi glanced back at him. “So is Tamera, for that matter. I’ve never been good at pain. I damn near pass out at the sight of my own blood.”

  Kaleb walked to where she sat and knelt down in front of her, her knees touching his ribs. Running his hands up her calves, he whispered, “Do you love me, Suzi?”

  Her brown gaze held his, and he saw his answer clearly within the depths before she ever uttered the words. “With all my heart.”

  Kaleb smiled, his hands leaving her calves to wipe away the tears from her cheeks, then trailing his thumb over her swollen lower lip. “How much?”

  “You’re impossible.” Her eyes turned up in the corners as she bit her lower lip.
“Do I need to show you?”

  “Not in the way you’re thinking, piccolo diavolo.” He palmed her face and brought her in for a deep kiss, one of possession. He hoped she could feel his desperation in that moment to claim her as his. Then, letting her go, he leaned back on his haunches.

  Something told him that if he asked her now to be his mate she’d refuse him outright after what she had witnessed. He needed to keep her away from the clubhouse a few days, just until Tamera completed the change. Kaleb didn’t want to chance giving Suzi any more reasons to deny him. But in the end, she’d be his … in every way. He never thought to ever claim a mate. Now he wouldn’t be denied.

  He leaned in and kissed her again, though just a brief meeting of their lips. “Do me a favor?”

  A shiver shook her shoulders. He could smell the fear on her, scared of what he might ask of her, undoubtedly afraid he would request that she go through the agony her dear friend had endured.

  A smile crossed his lips. “Don’t ever fuck Draven again.”

  Suzi’s eye twinkled as the corners turned up. “I have no desire to.”

  “Good.” Kaleb flashed her just a hint of his fangs, causing her to take in a slight breath of air. “I plan to keep you too busy to even think about fucking another man.”

  “Promise?”

  He chuckled. “Most definitely.”

  “Kaleb?”

  His gaze traveled to her tits, before landing back on her face. Damn, he was suddenly horny as hell. He wanted to sink his fangs into her flesh, draw an orgasm from her, then slide into her balls-deep until he took her to the edge again.

  “Yes?”

  “What about me?”

  He raised a brow, somehow in his carnal thoughts he had lost the train of the conversation. “What about you?”

  “I answered your question.” Her gaze wavered. “Isn’t it customary to let me know how you feel in return? Don’t leave me hanging here.”