by Ward, Alice
“Hey there,” he smiled as Max and Megan pulled apart. “Did you enjoy the set?”
“Yes,” Megan blushed, “sorry… I guess we got a little carried away during that last slow song.”
“That’s always good to hear,” Janette replied as she came up from behind me. “That’s the whole reason we’re up there, to move people.”
“You’re fantastic, Janette.” Megan gushed. “I may become a groupie. Does the band have a website?”
Janette shook her head. “No, just Facebook. But all our shows are posted there.”
“Great!” Megan squealed. “I already liked the page… during the second song.” She blushed. “I sent you all friend requests too.” She added with a smile.
To be polite, we all took out our smart phones and approved her requests. Max grew more uncomfortable by the minute, and finally stood.
“I hate to be a party pooper, but we really do need to bounce early tonight… we’re both working the brunch shift tomorrow morning.” He explained.
“Okay,” I smiled brightly. I hoped that the relief didn’t show on my face. “Well, thanks for coming! I’ll see you both next week!” I stood and gave Megan an awkward hug; she returned with a genuine one.
“It was nice to meet you all.” Max said politely. “Enjoy the rest of your evening.” Everyone said their goodbyes and then Max and Megan made their way to the door. We waited until they were out of the building before we burst into laughter.
“Great Kate, now we all have to be Facebook friends with her.” Janette laughed.
“I hate to say this, but she’s not awful.” Parker said with a shrug. “She’s a little too perky maybe, but she’s sweet.”
“She’s adorable.” I groan. “I’d never really talked to her before… and now I fucking like her.”
“She’s still no you.” Parker insisted. “Max would have to be out of his mind to pass up a chance with you. You just need to spend some one on one time with him…”
I shook my head. I was drunk, sad, and in no mood for plotting to steal Max. “They can just have each other. They’re a good match.”
“Kate, are you alright?” Mark asked.
“I’m fine,” I assured him with a smile, “just thirsty. And I need to pee. Would you mind getting me another drink while I run to the ladies room?”
“Sure,” he agreed and turned to Parker. “Care to join me? I feel like I haven’t seen you all night.”
The guys set off for the bar while Janette and I went to the ladies room. It had a lounge area with soft couches and big mirrors; the door on the far wall led to a separate room for sinks and stalls.
“Are you sure that you’re alright?” Janette asked me skeptically as I collapsed on one of the couches.
“I just need a minute.” I explained. “They’re really fucking cute together, aren’t they?” I sighed.
“Yes, they are. I’m sorry that you had to see them kissing like that, I know it must have hurt.”
“Maybe it was good for me to see it… I see now that I need to just leave Max and Megan alone… but that leaves ME alone… I’m happy for them I guess…” Janette cut me off midsentence.
“You just wish that you were the one with him.”
I nodded.
“Well, if you don’t want to figure out a way to get him back, you have two other options. You can wait it out and hope they break up, or you can accept that they’re together and move on. Which will it be?”
“The only decision I’m making tonight is how many more drinks to have.” I told her as I struggled to my feet. “Who knows? Maybe Prince Charming will show up later and I’ll forget all about Max.”
“Stranger things have happened.” Janette laughed. “I’ve got to get back on stage, are you sure that you’re alright?”
“I’m fantastic.” I assured her. “Go sing your ass off, and I’ll see you after.”
***
I spent the next two and a half hours listening to the band play, drinking shots, and watching Parker and Mark tear up the dance floor. They were adorable together and watching them, I wondered if I’d ever find what they had. When the show finally ended, everyone joined me at the table.
“You were fantastic tonight.” I told Janette. “Completely amazing.”
“Thanks, but I missed all of the drama! You have to tell me everything that happened while Max and Megan were here.” She insisted. “Let’s grab a cab and go dancing! You guys can fill me in on the way.”
“I’d love to go dancing.” Parker agreed.
“I don’t know, I’m pretty hungry,” Mark argued. He turned to me. “Kate, how about you? Do you feel like dancing or eating?”
What I felt was drunk and overwhelmed with confusion; I burst into tears.
“Sweetheart, what’s wrong?” Mark asked. He wrapped an arm around me.
“I don’t know… I don’t know what I’m doing, or why I’m here.” I sobbed uncontrollably. “And now I’m making a fool of myself.”
“Alright,” Janette said soothingly. “Everything’s going to be alright.”
“Parker, why don’t you and Janette go ahead and go dancing? I’ll take Kate to a diner; we’ll have some food and coffee and sober up. We’ll join you after.”
“We can go to the diner.” Janette insisted.
Mark leaned in and lowered his voice, but I could still make out his words. “She might be a little embarrassed once she sobers up. She won’t want an audience. I’ll take care of her, I promise, and we’ll meet you after.”
Janette looked from me to Mark and then nodded. “Alright, if you need us, call us. Otherwise we’ll see you in a little while.”
Mark helped me to my feet and led me out the door. The cool night air was refreshing, and I took a deep breath as he directed me down the street. “There’s an all night diner just a few blocks away. They make fantastic pancakes and waffles, and great coffee.”
We arrived at the diner, took seats in a small booth, and Mark ordered a pot of coffee and two glasses of water. I was too nauseous to read the menu, so I let him order my food as well. I was suddenly tired, so I laid my head on the table. In no time, a plate of hot food rested in front of my face.
I sat up and ate the waffles, hash browns, and bacon. I washed everything down with coffee and felt better almost immediately. Mark smiled at me from across the table.
“Better?” He asked.
I nodded. “I’m sorry I broke down like that… it’s just been an awful week. I feel… defeated.”
“That’s understandable.” Mark assured me. “The question is what are you going to do about it?”
“To be honest, a part of me wants to just pack up and go home. My money would last a lot longer in Waterloo than it does here. It would be a safe, comfortable life.”
“Kate, I’m surprised at you.” Mark scolded me. “If safe and comfortable was what you wanted, you’d have never come here. You want a phenomenal life, and you can have one if you fight for it. Don’t give up the fight so soon, Kate.” He smiled.
“Thank you Mark.” I smiled and considered his words. “You’re absolutely right. I just need to figure out HOW to fight these particular battles. How do I overcome that awful Phantom audition? And how do I come to grips with Max and Megan?”
“We’ll figure all of that out,” he assured me. “But right now, we have some more dancing to do.”
Mark paid our bill and then hailed a cab. Mark gave the driver the name of the club we were meeting Janette and Parker at and I let the thrilling excitement of New York City sweep me off my feet once more.
CHAPTER 9
I woke up the next morning with a hangover and a renewed determination to fight for the life I want. I took a long, hot shower and cleared my head of everything that had been distracting me. I decided that a long walk in the city was exactly what I needed to help regain my focus. I still hadn’t visited Central Park, so I decided that was the perfect destination. I blew my hair dry, pulled on a sports bra and runnin
g clothes, and dug through several of my boxes until I found a cap.
I debated cooking a quick breakfast but decided to eat out instead. I filled my purse-like Camelbak with cold water and slid my I.D., debit card, and house key into the assorted pockets. I plugged my ear buds into my phone, strapped it to my wrist, and I was ready to go.
I paused at Janette’s door for a moment and considered inviting her to come along. I quickly decide against it; as much as I’ve come to love Janette, I know that she’s one of my biggest distractions.
I stretched my legs with a slow jog to the subway station. I boarded an empty car and used the seats to continue stretching as the Manhattan skyline came closer and closer into view. After leaving the subway, I popped into a small bakery for a cup of coffee and a sweet roll. I finished them both quickly and set off for the park.
Like everything else in New York, I’d dreamed about Central Park but I’d never actually been there. I was overwhelmed by the vast amount of open space that was nestled in the heart of one of the busiest, most crowded cities in the world.
I came upon the Alice statue and my thoughts drifted back to the youth theater program I’d worked with back home. I wondered what kind of programs like that were available in New York and how I could get involved in them. I realized immediately who I could ask. I turned off my playlist, slid my phone from the arm strap, and dialed Serena’s number.
“Hello?” She answered.
“Hey, it’s Kate.” I greeted her. “I’ve been walking around Central Park for the last couple of hours, and I’ve thought of some industry related questions. I was wondering if you’d like to meet for lunch? I’ll buy if you let me pick your brain.”
“Sounds good, I’m actually scheduled to take lunch in an hour. Have you been to the coffee shop that’s right where Central Perk was on Friends?” She asked me.
“No, do they have good food?” I asked.
“It’s a tourist trap mostly, but the food is decent. It’s worth seeing though, if you liked the show.”
“Sounds good, I’ll see you about an hour and fifteen minutes?” I asked.
“Yep, I’ll see you then. Thanks for calling Kate, it’s nice to have plans for a change.”
We hung up and I spent another hour exploring the park before heading to the coffee shop.
***
“So what did you want to ask me?” Serena asked with a kind smile. We’d been at the coffee shop for half an hour, catching up on each other’s lives over chicken salad sandwiches but avoiding sensitive topics like my now infamous Phantom audition.
I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. “Do you think that I have a chance in hell of ever getting another audition after what happened at the last one?”
Serena laughed. “Oh Kate, don’t worry about that!” She insisted. “You’re not the first person to show up drunk at the theater. If you were already a part of the cast, no one would have thought twice about it. Half the people on stage on any given night are wasted or stoned out of their minds. I know I have to wipe the booze sweat off of them and fix their makeup between scenes.”
I breathed a sigh of relief. “So I didn’t ruin everything.”
She shook her head. “People will pay attention to how you carry yourself now. Keep your head high, own your mistake, and move on. They’ll have no choice but to respect you for it.”
“Thank you so much, Serena.” I smiled. “I hope you don’t mind me talking to you about this… I know that you’re experience on stage didn’t go the way you’d hoped.”
“It’s not a problem.” She assured me. “I’m happy to help you how ever I can. In fact, I have another hour before I have to get back to the make-up room. If you want we can get another latte and I can give you a few pointers.”
“That would be amazing.” I accepted gratefully.
Serena spent the next thirty minutes giving me all of the dirt on what goes on behind the stage at all of the different shows. She filled me in on which directors like to discover unknowns, which put unreasonable demands on their casts, and which had a reputation for trading roles for sex. I asked her if there were any youth theaters I could volunteer at; she wasn’t sure, but she promised to look into it.
Serena also knew which actors were about to get fired but didn’t know it yet, and which ones were about to leave for better opportunities. “I can’t tell you any names, of course, but there’s about to be a larger than average turnover on The Great White Way.” She smiled. “There will be plenty of auditions; hold your head high and land yourself a role.”
“Serena, do you ever…”
Serena smiled and interrupted me. “Yes, I still want to be on stage. I still wish for it all of the time… I was actually thinking of taking another stab at it.”
“You SHOULD!” I insisted. “You have to! We can run lines together, watch each other’s backs… it would be perfect! I’ll talk to Marion and see if she’ll take you on.” I offered.
Serena shook her head. “You don’t have to do that. I know plenty of people at the theaters, I can get my own auditions… I can’t afford her commission.” She laughed.
“Alright, but let me know if you change your mind.”
“Thanks… I’ve got to get back to work, are you off tonight?”
I nodded. “I’m going to stay home and finish unpacking my apartment. I can’t live with the chaos any longer.” I laughed.
“Alright well, thanks for lunch. I’ll call you if I hear anything about an audition… I’m no Marion Russo, but I do have my sources.” She smiled.
“I’d probably be better off hiring you.” I joked. “Thanks for everything Serena.”
“No problem… in fact, I have one last little tip for you… more of a hint really. I can’t say which actors are on their way out, but I can tell you ‘they had it coming’ she said with air quotes.
“Fantastic.” I said with a smile. We stepped back out onto the sidewalk; Serena went left towards the theater while I raced to the nearest subway station. I caught the train back to Sunnyside and spent the rest of the day unpacking and listening to the Chicago soundtrack on a continuous loop.
***
“So, you’re going back to Orlando’s tomorrow?” Janette asked as she passed me a lit joint. “You’ve had a long break, haven’t you?”
I nodded and took a long hit. It was Tuesday afternoon and I hadn’t been to the restaurant since Saturday night. “I called Steve yesterday morning and told him that I felt like I was coming down with the flu. I know that I’m being a coward but I just don’t want to watch Max and Megan swoon over each other all night long.” I explained.
“I don’t blame you.” Janette assured me. “If I were in your shoes, I’d have quit weeks ago.”
“I don’t want to quit… I want him back.” I confessed.
“What made you change your mind?” Janette asked.
“I can’t stop thinking about Max. And Megan is sweet, but I don’t think that she’s right for him. Max is a serious guy, he submits articles to The New Yorker and keeps up with current events. Megan watches American Idol for god’s sake.”
Janette cringed. “Oh, that is bad. Well, if you want him we need to come up with a plan. I still think that bold and direct is the best approach. Just lay everything out on the table and be honest about your feelings. Megan may not be perfect for him, but he’s falling for her awfully fast. If you don’t make a move soon you’ll miss the chance.”
I shook my head. I knew that Janette had a point, but my mother’s voice was in my head once more telling me that ‘good’ girls aren’t aggressive with men. “I don’t want to put him on the spot. I think that a slower, more covert plan is better.”
“You mean a game?” Janette said critically.
“No,” I replied defensively. “More like a slow prodding… we’d talked about getting to know each other as friends, so I’ll just act like nothing has changed. I’ll become the best friend he’s ever had and in no time he’ll see that I’m the one he s
hould be with.”
“And where will Max’s girlfriend be while you’re becoming his best friend?” Janette asked. “Remember Megan? She may be sweet, but do you really think that she’s just going to sit back and watch while you cozy up to her hot boyfriend?”
“I’ll figure something out.” I assured her. “I’ll find reasons to go to the bar, grab every free moment that I can get with Max. And I’m sure that other opportunities will present themselves along the way.”
Janette shook her head. “I don’t like it, Kate. I know that you don’t want to be direct and make yourself vulnerable by just telling him how you feel. But essentially, your plan is no different than mine except that it’s going to take longer. I want you to just rip the band-aid and get it over with; you want to pull it off centimeter by centimeter… I’m just afraid that you’re going to get hurt.”
“I understand what you’re saying and I appreciate that you want to look out for me.” I assured her. “Please, just let me do this my way. If it goes wrong, you’re more than welcome to say ‘I told you so’.”
“I’d never say that, Kate.” She insisted. “I just hope that you know what you’re doing.”
“I can handle myself.” I took another long hit off the joint and passed it back to her. “Let’s talk about you for awhile.” I suggested.
“What about me would you like to discuss?” She asked through a cloud of smoke.
“You have strong opinions about my love life, but you never talk about your own. What happened to that guy you met at Syd’s? He was hot, have you seen him again?”
“He was hot.” Janette sighed. “But no, I haven’t seen him again. Can I tell you a secret, Kate?” She asked.
“Of course you can.”
“Evan, the guy from Syd’s, I didn’t sleep with him.” She confessed.
“Okay… why is that a secret?”
Janette blushed. “About a year ago, I met a guy and fell hard. I was head-over-heels stupid in love with him, and after four months I caught him with another woman… To be honest, I still haven’t gotten over him.”