Rennie was silent for a long time. He still held her hand. She felt his fingers tighten on hers, felt the effort he made to relax them. She could hear him breathing above the quiet rhythm of the waves, feel the slight rise and fall of his chest.
“When you visited me in the hospital.”
“You seemed so distant that day. It was no time to be forcing my attentions on you, though if you’d shown the slightest sign of still wanting me I’d have had a hard time not to hold you — something you obviously weren’t fit for. You looked so bruised and sick.”
“It’s a wonder you wanted me at all.”
He shook his head. “I’ll always want you, Rennie, in sickness and in health, bruised, scarred, scared — until death. I thought I’d been served a kind of poetic justice. You’d stopped wanting me, just when I finally gave in to the fact that I couldn’t stand to live my life without you. I thought I’d give you some time, it was only fair to let you get over the accident in your own way, which obviously didn’t include me, you’d made that abundantly clear. And then I was going to do my damndest to make you love me again. Retreating here was a pretty strong message that you didn’t want to be bothered by anyone, so I was trying to respect that, making myself wait until you came back. Then Celeste wrote that you’d called my name. I wanted so badly to gather you up and save you from any further hurt. I had to be here if you needed me.”
She looked up at him then. “When I left the hospital I kept thinking of Kevin and how he hated me. The look on his face when he said, ‘I’ll get you, you bitch!’ And he was still out there. I was frightened to leave the house — like Ellen. I was so ashamed, I couldn’t bring myself to tell anyone about my stupid fear.”
“Did I really scare you?” he asked, troubled. “That first day I arrived here?”
Rennie shook her head. “Not physically. You threatened my peace, though. I thought you came in arrogance. And pity.”
Everything somehow got in the wrong order. I hadn’t meant to blurt out a proposal of marriage. But I never thought you’d react the way you did.”
“You unsettled me. Here on Sheerwind I’d conquered the nightmares, the fear. Grown a shell and shut myself inside it, told myself no one could hurt me any more. Then you came, and I realised you still could. If I let you.
“The trouble is,” she said, “in my shell I don’t feel anything at all. That seemed okay for a while, but it’s not much of a life, is it?”
Grant shook his head. “If you want to live, you have to accept you’ll get hurt sometimes.”
“Yes.” She took a deep breath. “I think I’m ready to start living again. If I can rely on you to be there next time someone shoves me through a window.”
“Next time,” he promised, “I’ll be there to stop him. Is this a yes to my proposal?”
“I think so. Yes.” Mischievously she added, “What do you think I’ve been angling for ever since we met? And it wasn’t,” she added indignantly, “someone to relieve me of my virginity!”
He winced.
“Although,” she added, “you’ve done that very nicely.”
“I’m sorry about that crack. Even at the time I didn’t believe it. And I didn’t mean to seduce you last night either. I shouldn’t have — “
She put a sandy finger to his lips. “Don’t feel guilty. I could have stopped you. I didn’t want to.” Her mouth curved. “All the times I practically begged you to make love to me — “
He groaned. “Don’t remind me. I never knew I had so much will power. You didn’t make it easy for me, Rennie.”
“Well, you can’t back out now,” she told him complacently. “You’re such an honourable man.” Her eyes were lit with tender laughter.
“No chance,” he agreed. “And I won’t let you back out either. You’re committed now. I’m afraid,” he said honestly, “that thought was in my mind last night, even as I tried to tell myself it was unfair to you. You drove me to desperate measures, Rennie.”
“Not unfair. But, Grant — ” she added, meeting his eyes, hoping to make him understand, “I made an adult choice last night. I’m no child-bride. You have to let me make my own decisions. I want you to be there for me, for the rest of my life. But I’ll be there for you too.”
“I’ll try to curb my protective instincts if they threaten your independence. Knowing you, I won’t be allowed to get away with treating you like a child. Which, in any case,” he added, smiling, “is the last thing I want right now.” He leaned forward and very carefully tipped her chin so that he could kiss her mouth.
Rennie responded, turning with an arm hooked about his neck, until he kissed her deeply, one hand behind her head, the other stroking her arm, her hip, her ribs, and coming to rest against her heart.
When he lifted his head, pushed her back again on the sand and kissed her cheek, her jawline, and her throat, she said, “The wedding will have to wait until after my surgery.”
“No.” he said. “Too long.”
“I can’t be a bride with this!” She touched her scarred cheek.
“Why not? I thought we agreed it wasn’t important.” His lips had reached the edge of the robe.
“It isn’t,” she gasped, “but — Grant, don’t do that!”
He paused with his hand on the edge of the robe that he had just slipped off her shoulder. “Why not?”
“It’s morning. Someone might see — ” Ethan sometimes took a morning swim, and the Palmers were early walkers.
He pulled the robe back into place, and kissed her again. “Come swimming with me tonight?” he murmured. “In the dark. When there’s no one to see.”
“You have an ulterior motive!” she accused.
“Yes.” He grinned. “I hope to talk you into an earlier wedding.”
“I want to look beautiful on my wedding day.”
“You will. You can’t help it.” He held up a hand. “All right, darling. If it’s important to you, I’ll wait until they’ve fixed your face. But tonight — we swim.”
She nodded. “Did you know,” she murmured, watching him with teasing eyes, “that people here swim nude?”
“Is that a fact?” he mocked, and smiled into her eyes.
“Have you ever done that?”
“Not here,” he said, glancing at the deserted beach. “And not with you.”
“There’s a first time for everything,” Rennie said demurely.
He looked at her sternly. “You know, I believe I was right about you the first time we met.”
“You thought I was a delinquent.”
He laughed, playing with her hair, lifting a curling strand to his lips. “Something like that.”
“Well…” she said, and gave him a look very similar to those she had been giving Ethan the night he had looked at her so disapprovingly. She looped her arms about his neck, “Aren’t you lucky?”
______________________________________________________________________________
Table of Contents
CHAPTER ONE
CHAPTER TWO
CHAPTER THREE
CHAPTER FOUR
CHAPTER FIVE
CHAPTER SIX
CHAPTER SEVEN
CHAPTER EIGHT
CHAPTER NINE
CHAPTER TEN
CHAPTER ELEVEN
CHAPTER TWELVE
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
CHAPTER NINETEEN
CHAPTER TWENTY
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
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The Older Man Page 24