Finding You

by S. K. Hartley

  “I would kill for you, Logan, but not for your shirt.” I said sincerely, a smile gracing my lips.

  Logan White was like a brother to Tate. They had known each other since kindergarten, and had been inseparable ever since. Tate and Logan were both seniors, sharing a dorm room. My best friend, Low, and I were sophomores and shared a dorm room as well. I had met Low in high school, she was the devil on my shoulder that pushed me, sometimes too far but I loved her like the sister I never had.

  “Are you going to give me my shirt or am I going to have to take it from you?” He smirked, raising his brow as his eyes twinkled with mischief, causing me to take a step back.

  “I don’t think …” I started to say before I was lifted up from the floor and slung over Logan’s defined shoulder. I let out a scream and started pounding his solid back. Jeez, he had muscles there too?

  “Put me down, Logan, or I swear I will castrate you!” I screamed at him.

  Suddenly he stopped mid stride. Turning my head to look at him, his sexy smirk was back on his face once more. Oh shit, this wasn’t good.

  “Nev, you know I have an amazing view of your ass right now?” He said, before slapping my right cheek, quickly making me yelp in surprise.

  “Ouch!” I shouted before he ever so slowly slid me down the front of his body, ensuring I felt every single tight muscle. Staring straight into my eyes, he slowly caressed my ass with only the thin material separating him from touching my stinging flesh, moving his palm in lazy circles.

  I had to bite back a moan from escaping my lips. It felt, well, nice.

  “Morning campers! What … oh.” Jerking my head into the direction of my best friend, she must have gotten up early for coffee. The look on Low’s face suddenly brought me back down to reality.

  “Morning.” Logan replied in a whisper as he hung his head and swiftly left my room.

  “Well, THAT was a surprise! What was all that about?” Low asked, clearly amused by what she just saw.

  “Ugh, he’s such a man whore!” I said exasperated “But enough about me, what the hell are you wearing?!” I said as I took in my best friend’s less-than-conservative attire.

  Low had to be wearing the most revealing damn top I had ever seen, coupled with denim shorts that showed so much of her ass it should be illegal. Looking down her never ending legs, my eyes landed on a pair of pink cowboy boots. Her hair was a natural honey blonde, it was gorgeous, and today she had curled it at the ends slightly.

  I chuckled at my best friend’s outfit, knowing that guys were going to drool the moment they saw her. Today we were both starting our sophomore year of college and I was looking forward to getting back into classes, whereas Low, on the other hand, clearly had different ideas.

  “What? I intend on picking up my future husband this year!” She said, waving me off as she walked into the bathroom. I sighed before my stomach churned once more. This was definitely not good.

  I did say that Logan was a man whore right? Good, so you won’t be surprised that there were twenty girls flocking around Tate’s Jeep at this precise moment. It was the guys’ meeting spot. In other words, it was a Drool fest full of adoring college girls. It was disgusting watching girls fight over Logan, and I am sure I just heard Georgia Mathews ask if he wanted a quickie before class, ugh.

  “Have fun, man whore.” I shouted over my shoulder as I made my way through the throngs of females trying to get their hands on the ‘sex god’ that was Logan White. My brother just shook his head laughing.

  Low chuckled “Do they all have to be so obvious that they would drop their panties for him with a snap of his fingers?” I rolled my eyes at my best friend. Does she really want to make me gag before my first class?

  “Ugh, that’s gross Low.” I said as we made our way into the building. Spring Water College was quite small compared to state colleges, but it boasted glorious grounds and antique style architecture that made you instantly fall in love with the place. Spring Water was a small coastal town in Mississippi that flaunted majestic beaches and scorching hot weather, but it was known for some awesome college parties, so everyone went to SWC.

  “So anyway, I will text you the place to meet me after class okay?” Low said before she pulled me into a fierce hug “See you later.” Her smile wasn’t her usual megawatt, knock-them-off-your-feet smile. She knew I was still struggling with the hurt I felt every time I walked into my music class.

  I was ten when my father was killed. He had been driving to the store on a cold night, a few weeks before Christmas. He had taken a short-cut, which meant driving over the old wooden bridge that crossed into town. Black ice had covered nearly every road in our little town, but it wasn’t the cold temperatures or the dangerous road conditions that killed him. It was a drunk driver that hurtled towards him on that bridge, skidding on black ice. Dad was pinned down in the car by the steering column on the truck. It had taken fifteen firemen to get him out before he was transferred to the hospital, where he later died.

  Shaking my head, I tried to remember all the fun times that we shared. We were so alike in looks and attitude and shared the same passion for music, but the most vivid memories were the songs he used to sing to me at night before I went to sleep. It’s where my love of music came from. Dad had played the guitar and tried to teach me too, but I preferred listening to him play for me.

  The day of dad’s funeral I locked myself in my room with his guitar, I was determined to learn how to play it. I found all of dad’s old Guitar 101 books and started from scratch, learning each note and each bar until my fingertips were numb. The only people who knew I played were mom, Logan, Tate, and Low, but this year, I wanted other people to understand my passion for music.

  Every time I picked up my dad’s guitar, I fell in love with music all over again. I understood why my dad loved it so much. I couldn’t talk about what happened to my dad. It was just too painful, he was my everything. But the lyrics could tell people for me. The pain and grief I felt when he died has stuck with me ever since.

  I was walking towards my class when I heard it, the perfect melody of guitar and voice. A voice so hauntingly hypnotic, a male voice singing a perfect rendition of “I Don’t Want To Miss A Thing” by Aerosmith. My legs decided at this particular moment to start moving. Making my way to the room that housed the most beautiful voice I had ever heard, my head pounded as I desperately tried to find the source of the voice.

  Pushing my way through the crowded corridor, I was spellbound with this voice, it felt like a knife penetrating straight through me, slicing me in half. Suddenly my legs seemed to stop working, I could hear the voice more clearly. It was so moving, I could feel tears sting my eyes.

  Finally prying my eyes away from the ground beneath me, I locked eyes with the person who possessed a voice that could break me, shatter me, and put me back together again. Leaning against the wall was the perfect specimen of a man, large hands caressed his worn guitar as he played note after beautiful note. But this time, it wasn’t the perfect sound of the strum of his guitar capturing me or his voice. It was just him.

  Dark lashes rested against perfectly high cheekbones as he sang with his eyes closed, lost in his own moment. His hair, dark as a midnight sky, gently swayed as he bobbed his head in time to the melody. His beautiful lips captivated me as his smooth and sexy voice filled my ears.

  Suddenly he looked up, straight at me. I was paralyzed. His eyes were an unbelievable combination of blues that were so intense that I had to quickly look away. I could no longer see or hear the throngs of other students. All I could see, hear, and feel was this man. His voice was so smooth, so sexy, so understanding that I felt compelled to take a seat in front of him but my legs now decided they weren’t going to move.

  He was still staring straight at me as the lyrics rolled off his tongue, mesmerizing me further.

  “I could stay lost in this moment forever …”

  Shivers penetrated my body, it felt like he was singing just for me, as if
I was his own captured audience.

  “Every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure …”

  I had to close my eyes and bite my lip to stop the moan in the back of my throat escaping from my mouth. It was too delicious. Opening my eyes slowly, looking straight into his, I noticed they were darker, much more sinful than before. Something had changed, the tension in the air was palpable. But as quickly as it was there, it was gone when a tall, leggy blonde stood in front of him trying to get his attention. She was your typical college girl, perky tits, long legs and blonde hair with a voice that reminds you of a screeching cat … Ugh!

  I walked as though I was on a mission. “Just get this over with and you will be fine,” I kept telling myself. It’s just a music class, but the thought of letting people in and listening to the lyrics that told so much of my pain and hurt made my stomach churn and my knees weak.

  “Come on Neva, you can do this. Do it for him.”

  Stepping into the empty classroom, I sighed with relief. Worn, dark blue chairs filled the room progressing higher with every row. Taking the steps, I walked to the back row, taking in the rest of the room. It was like any other classroom, but it held so much more significance to me as I sat down on the most uncomfortable chair imaginable. I checked my phone. I had two texts, one from Low and one from Logan.

  Low: You can do it, princess! Love ya! XO

  Low must have known I was feeling off. It wasn’t the class itself I dreaded, I just didn’t want anyone else to hear my pain through the lyrics I wrote. The nightmare from this morning only magnetized that feeling tenfold. I text her back a thank you and checked the message from Logan.

  Logan: You know you want me! X

  Ha! Smiling, I looked at the time the text was sent to me. It was when he was being mauled by his groupies, asshat! Tucking my phone away, I realized the once empty room was starting to fill up. I pulled out a pad and a pen for today’s class and took a deep breath but before I could release it, a smooth and sexy voice seemed to stop my body from functioning properly.

  “Hey … Can I sit here?”

  I looked in the direction of the voice and gasped. I was looking at the guy who just moments before turned me into a swooning puddle on the ground. His hands were in his pockets watching me as the muscles in his arms tensed, waiting for my answer.

  He was the definition of tall, dark and handsome. But it was his eyes that struck me the most. They were multiple shades of blue. I couldn’t make out how many, but they bore straight through me, making me oddly edgy but at the same time weak at the knees. His dark hair fell over the blue pools as he flashed me a sexy smile, dark lashes perfectly framed his show stopping eyes against his high cheekbones. He was six foot of pure perfection, wearing low slung ripped jeans and a tight Goo Goo Dolls shirt. He was lickable, edible and oh-so-sinful.

  Just say something Neva, anything …

  “Erm, uh …” I stuttered.

  Great start Neva, how about trying a simple yes?

  “Um …”

  Jesus! Nod woman. Just nod!

  Nodding in reply, he sat down beside me, so close that I could smell the tempting scent of sin wafting from him. He smelled dangerous. I closed my eyes, letting my body take in the scent; it was like sweet tortuous heaven a combination of strong coffee and mint. What the hell am I doing? He is going to think you’re a crazy, weird stalker. Neva, stop it!

  I could barely make out what the professor was saying. Something about getting to know each other or some crap like that, but my focus was purely on this man, sitting so close to me it was making my skin prickle.

  My thoughts were suddenly interrupted by the professor, shit. What did he say?

  “Sorry, could you repeat that?” I asked as my cheeks took on seven different shades of red.

  “Name and what you want to achieve while you are here.” The professor replied, clearly annoyed at me for not paying the slightest bit of attention.

  “Neva James, I, uh … want to teach people the importance of music …” I said in nearly a whisper. Ugh, that was just uncomfortable. Placing my arms on the desk I lay my head down, trying to bring my cheeks back to a normal color as the professor asked the sexy stranger the same question.

  “Angel Walker, I want to meet people who understand my passion for music …” He said in a smooth sexy voice, I think my jaw just hit the floor. Turning my head in my arms, I locked eyes with him. Shit, what do I do now?

  Reaching out, he pulled my hand out from underneath my head, making me sit up straight in my chair. As soon as his large hand touched mine, I was lost, his touch caused butterflies to swim around in my stomach.

  “Nice to meet you Neva …” He said in a slow sexy whisper. Oh shit, I think my panties just melted.

  Come on Neva, you need to say something. Anything!

  “I, um …” I started stuttering again, oh god.

  Come on Neva!!

  “It’s nice to meet you too, Angel.” I finally said as I shook his hand, which sent shocks of electricity through my veins.

  The rest of the class went by far too quickly. There were moments where Angel’s arm would brush mine accidentally, causing goose bumps to rise quickly, covering my pale skin. For a reason I couldn’t describe, I wanted him to keep doing it, I wanted to bask in the deliciousness that was Angel Walker.

  “Assignment is on the board. I want you to write down your feelings, be it happy, sad, excited or depressed. I want you to write them down, think of it as a diary. You have three weeks to complete it.” Time stopped. I couldn’t think or breathe. This was my worst nightmare, the thought of telling a bunch of strangers how I felt scared the crap out of me, this is what I was trying to avoid. This was my idea of hell on earth.

  “Until next time, Neva,” Angel said, interrupting my own torturous thoughts, his smooth and sexy voice wrapping around my name. He placed a kiss on the back of my hand, and I think I whimpered. What the hell? Pulling me out of my own self-pity, my heart fluttered from the softness of his lips against my skin.

  “I, uh. See you around, Angel.” I said, only slightly stumbling over my words.

  I hurriedly made my way to the front of the class, trying to watch my step, trying not to fall over on my ass as I made a beeline for the door. I had to get away from Angel. I wasn’t fooled by his name, and he definitely didn’t come from heaven. Everything about him screamed sin, but something about him had gripped me and I wanted to know what it was.

  “Oh, yeah you will.” Angel replied from the back of the class with a sexy smirk. Shit!

  I didn’t need a mirror to tell me my whole body was multiple shades of red. Angel Walker was just something else, he screamed bad boy. Even his name was sexy and wicked, Angel Walker.

  Pulling my head from the gutter I checked my phone, 1 new text.

  Low: The spot X

  The spot was a picnic bench near the football field. Low says she picked it because it had somewhere to sit, but I knew she picked it because she had a perfect view of all the hot and sweaty guys taking their t-shirts off before they hit the showers. I replied to let her know I was on my way, my mind quickly drifting back to Angel. The way a single dimple adorned his sculptured face when he smiled, his husky laugh and his intense eyes. I was hooked.

  “Hey darlin’.” I jumped as Logan whispered into my ear, placing his arm around my shoulders giving me an unexpected shudder, what the hell was that?!

  “Shit! You scared the crap out of me, Logan.” I pulled his arm from my body as I carried on walking towards the picnic bench, putting some distance between us. Okay, I know he is all kinds of hot but the guy has a man whore reputation. He is a walking STD. I turned to tell him I would meet him at the spot but all I saw was his backside strutting away with another girl clinging to his hip. See? Walking STD!

  The meeting spot finally came into view as I passed the football field, the picnic bench was ours, just Low’s and mine. Unlike Tate and Logan’s meeting spot, there were no ‘groupies’. Taking my usual se
at on the built-in table, I perched my feet on the seat. Tate had already taken a seat next to me, but today he had his t-shirt off as he soaked in the last of the summer heat. His eyes were closed with both hands stretched to his sides as he leaned back slightly. I decided to take that opportunity to poke him in the ribcage with my finger, pulling a girl-like squeal out of his lips. I couldn’t help but laugh as he gave me the dirtiest look for making him sound like a girl.

  “Put your shirt back on, dude. I don’t want to see that!” I said, still laughing.

  But my laughter was quickly stopped as I took in the sight of Logan making his way over to us, shirtless. Logan’s chest was glistening with sweat, causing his highly toned abs to stand out brilliantly. He had a body that could make even the straightest of men swoon. I had seen Logan shirtless too many times to count, but today? He looked edible. Even I’m not immune to his devilishly good looks!

  What the hell was wrong with me lately? I mean, it’s Logan. He is my brother’s best friend and my secret protector. Ever since that night we found out about my father, I had nightmares; gut wrenching, take-your-breath-away nightmares, nightmares that would feel so real, as if I was physically there. Sometimes I would feel this sense of dread, suffocating in a subconscious hell. There are times I have woken up screaming, finding my face tear-stained from the haunting shrieks that I hear every time I went back to that place.

  A year after my father died, my nightmares became more intense, crippling me with fear while I slept. The demons becoming more real, my surroundings clearer, my fears magnified. I was always on the bridge, the bridge where dreams and promises were shattered, causing unimaginable heartbreak. One night, Logan was sleeping over. That night would change our relationship forever. I was back on that damn bridge again, the smell of car fumes filling my nostrils as I inhaled, panicking as the sudden feeling of being trapped once again consumed me. I screamed at the top of my lungs, my throat burning against the brutal force as I tried to escape. But something grabbed me out from the blanket of darkness, pulling me to safety, it was Logan.