I was suddenly aware of a hand encircling my waist, slowly turning me around. Ready to tell whomever it was to take their hands of me and find another girl to grind up against, but my mind faltered when my gaze locked on beautiful chocolate brown eyes. The small flecks of green were twinkling under the dim lighting.
“I’m right here.” Logan whispered, pulling me towards him. Our bodies aligning perfectly as he slowly directed my hips with his own, his thigh in between my legs, guiding me. I was entranced. His hands moved towards my waist, running those enticing lazy circles in my skin that he had done many times before. But this time, they felt different, more intimate.
I basked in the feel of Logan’s hard chest against mine, his hands resting on my body, making my head spin. Questions ran around my mind at lightning speed, trying desperately to find the answers I couldn’t seem to conjure. Something had changed. This wasn’t two friends sharing a dance at a party. This was ‘dance fucking’ with a friend … No, he is much more than that, he’s … he’s, my Logan. I was all types of confused, how had this happened? One minute we were childhood friends and the next we were … what the hell are we? My confusion was suddenly pushed to the back of my mind as the music changed, the speakers now pounding out my favorite song, “Kiss Me Slowly” by Parachute.
I let the lyrics engulf me, the gentleness of Logan’s touch swallow me, his scent control me. Our once grinding bodies now moved with a gentle seductive sway, my head resting on Logan’s chest as his arms snaked around me. Holding me close, pulling me into a deeper embrace. Bowing his head, his lips brushed the shell of my ear, pulling a whimper from my throat. His soft, soothing voice penetrated my ears, as he sung the lyrics of the song to me.
My knees were suddenly weak. Everything south of my waist ached as he gently nipped my earlobe. Tightening his grip around my waist, he stopped me from becoming a swooning heap on the floor. This was so confusing, but I couldn’t deny that I loved the feel of Logan’s arms wrapped around me. I didn’t know what this was, but whatever it was … I didn’t want it to stop.
We stayed locked in that embrace throughout the rest of the song, swaying together while Logan would intermittently sing certain lines from the song to me. Holding on to his tight white t-shirt for dear life, it was my own little slice of heaven.
As the song drifted into a finish, I pulled back, my eyes locking with Logan’s. What the hell had we just done? My mind was filled with so many questions that it took me a moment to notice Logan’s reaction, but when I did, I couldn’t help but chuckle nervously. He was grinning like the damn Cheshire cat.
“I’m going to get a drink, want one?” He asked, still holding me tight against his body. I nodded my head, completely blown away by his reaction. The smile on his face was unarming, but it was enough to settle the never-ending questions that were running through my mind.
Unwrapping himself from my body, Logan’s hands gently cupped my face, placing the most tender of kisses on my cheek. It was enough to make me weak at the knees once more. Reaching out to grab me, he quickly pulled me back into the safe cove of his chest, his scent surrounding me in a safe embrace. Suddenly, my feet were no longer touching the floor, instead wrapped around Logan’s waist as he carried me across the room, placing me on a chair to ensure I didn’t fall on my ass. He smiled sweetly before making his way out of the room, flashing his trademark smile at me over his shoulder.
I slowly released a breath I didn’t realize I was holding, shaking my head as the realization hit me. We weren’t alone. Tentatively, I looked around the room, finding all eyes were on me. It was unnerving, my cheeks slowly heated as I tried to avoid eye contact with … well, everyone. It wasn’t surprising that people were intrigued by the little scene. Although our relationship had always been platonic, Logan still had a man-whore reputation. My face quickly took on a deeper shade of red as people finally started looking in different directions, carrying on with what they were doing. But one set of eyes didn’t leave me. It was as if I could feel them boring into the side of my face, my skin prickling as the hairs on the back of my neck stood on end, feeling a familiar sizzle in the air. Only one person could do that, Angel.
Turning my head towards his scorching gaze, I found myself looking straight into his eyes. It was as if I was staring straight into the bright blue depths of the ocean. But instead of clear, crystal waters, I saw pain, years of pain expertly masked to the prying eyes of others. He was hiding something. I just didn’t know what it was. Slowly making his way towards me, he smirked, making him look even more impossibly sexy. I felt as though he was the hunter, and I was his prey, ready to devour me at any given moment.
Suddenly standing before me, my eyes wandered, taking in every inch of him. Low slung, ripped jeans adorned his narrow waist, while a tight, fitted black t-shirt showed off his large frame and lean waist. He looked damn tasty. My gaze finally found its way back up to his face, a sexy smirk pulling at his lips, clearly amused that I was checking him out. But it wasn’t his body or his chiseled jaw line, or even his perfectly defined lips that kept my attention. It was those eyes, I could feel them sucking me in, pulling me into places that scared the crap out of me; yet it was turning me on at the same time.
“Boyfriend?” Damn, he was gorgeous. Shit, did he just say something?
“Huh?” How could this man manage to make me forget how to use my brain?
“Is he your boyfriend?” He repeated, his eyes never leaving mine.
“Who? Logan? Erm, no. Why?” I didn’t know what the hell Logan was after tonight.
“Good, glad to know there is nothing standing in my way.” He said, flashing me a panty-dropping smile. “Dance with me.” His voice seemed to take over my body, pulling me into an unbreakable trance. I only noticed I was back on the dance floor with his arms wrapped around my waist tightly, his breath tickling my skin.
We swayed gently, the lyrics of “She Talks To Angels” by The Black Crowes surrounded us. My body quickly covered in goosebumps as Angel played the notes to the song on my back, turning me into his own, personal guitar, strumming me expertly. It was so soothing and hypnotic, but at the same time I felt vulnerable. I couldn’t put my finger on what it was, but it felt as though this man was pulling my pain and vulnerability to the surface. The thought made me feel nauseous, I didn’t need another spectator waiting for me to fall apart. I didn’t need another reason to crumble.
The thought pulled me right back to the present, out from under the smoky haze that Angel seemed to have laid upon me. I can’t do this. Pushing my hands against his muscular chest, he quickly released his hold on me. I stumbled back, my shoes pinching the balls of my feet. Angel’s eyes widened in surprise as he reached out to catch me, his arms swiftly wrapped around my waist, and saving me from hitting the ground.
“Careful baby, no need to fall at my feet.” He said, his smooth and husky voice doing delicious things to my panties. He pulled me back up against his body, so close that I could feel his abs tremor underneath his shirt.
“I don’t need saving.” I muttered, pulling away from him, trying my hardest to stay on my feet.
“Could have fooled me, darlin’.” Angel drawled, his gaze never faltering. A lightning bolt of shivers shot down my spine. As he pulled me up right, my eyes darted around the room wondering where Logan could be. He had been gone ages. I smiled sweetly at Angel, thanking him for the dance before quickly leaving the room in search of Logan. I had just stepped out into the back yard when I saw him, sitting on a chair, holding two solo cups of beer with a smile on his face. While Georgia Mathews gave him a lap dance and judging by his face, he was enjoying every damn minute of it. A wash of emotions came crashing over me; hurt, pain, jealousy and betrayal, like a knife twisting in my chest. I didn’t know what Logan and I were doing, but watching him with Georgia reminded me of exactly what Logan was like. This was him, what he did best. Hot tears stung my eyes as I bolted from the back yard and into the house, desperate to find a place to escape.
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Making my way through the sea of people, I found a staircase leading to the second floor. Pulling off my stupidly painful heels, I climbed up the stairs, my heels in one hand while the other barely supported my trembling body. Reaching the top of the staircase, I found a long corridor of rooms lining the second floor. I had no idea what I would find behind those doors, but I didn’t care. I just wanted to hide.
I opened the first door I came to, thanking the gods for sparing my eyes when I found it empty. I quickly realized that I had stumbled into Ace’s bedroom, which explained why nobody was in here. If they were, Ace would have killed them, and it wouldn’t have been pretty. As I walked over to his bed, I took in the room. Three of the four walls were painted a brilliant white while the remaining wall was a deep shade of black. The bed was a queen size, cast iron beauty with black sheets, which expertly matched the black painted wall that it was pushed up against. Turning, I noticed Ace’s acoustic guitar propped up against the wall in the corner of the room. As soon as I saw it, I couldn’t help but smile. It was just what I needed.
Picking up the guitar, I sat down on the bed, holding it into position. Bowing my head, I ran my fingers down the strings, basking in the feel of them under my fingertips. It had been so long since I last played. I could hear the familiar sounds of the chords as I plucked each individual string, tuning it to the particular pitch I was looking for. Tears stung my eyes as I gently plucked each chord. My ears reacquainted themselves with the slow, beautiful tune of “In The Arms Of An Angel.” The tune drew me into a place of pain as I lost myself in the haunting melody, quietly humming the song to myself.
I smiled at the sensation under my fingertips, the tingling running through me like electricity. But my smile quickly faded, the room sizzled, and the feeling being watched jolted me; Angel. Turning my gaze towards the door, I gasped when saw him watching me closely, trying to gauge my reaction to him being in the room as I stopped strumming. Leaning against the closed door with his impressive arms crossed in front of his chest, he looked sexy and sinful.
“Don’t stop.” He said, slowly making his way over to the bed and taking a seat next to me. The command in his voice urged me to pluck the strings, falling back into a quiet hum. I suddenly felt my skin prickle as the raspy edge of his voice graced my ears, singing a beautiful rendition of “In The Arms Of An Angel.” I slowly wrapped my lips around the lyrics, allowing the pain I felt to pour from my mouth as we spurred each other on, becoming a painful duet.
Tears were slick against my skin as the last line of the song was released in a shaky breath, as I placed the guitar on the bed beside me before quickly wiping away my tears. I slowly ran my hand down the perfect group of six strings, holding onto the longing feeling that stirred beneath my fingertips.
“You have a beautiful voice, filled with so much pain and sorrow.” he said, wiping away a stray tear from my cheek. “I can feel the pain when you sing, Neva, I can feel the heartbreak. Who broke you?” He asked in a soft soothing voice, his gorgeous blue eyes slowly unraveling me.
“My dad died ten years ago.” I said darting my eyes to the ground, my vulnerability quickly rising to the surface. Angel seemed to be able to open up old scars just with the sound of his voice. . “He tried teaching me how to play,” I admitted, my gaze following the neck of Ace’s guitar. “I miss him so much.” A sob broke free from my mouth before I could even stop it. I placed my hand over my mouth and felt a single tear stroll down the side of my face as I tried to push back the pain of my admission.
“My mom used to sing that song to me.” Angel confided, his husky voice providing a great distraction from the tight twisting in my chest. I was intrigued as he stared at the wall in front of us, no longer able to hold my gaze. He quickly sucked in a sharp breath, the obvious painful friction hanging in the air around as he continued.
“My dad was a drunk.” He mumbled, the tremble in his voice not going unnoticed as the confession pulled me right out of my own misery. This was what he was hiding, this was what the pain represented in his eyes. But, why was he telling me this? I was practically a total stranger.
“He was disgusting, bad tempered and violent. His anger was mostly aimed at my mom. Shit they used to argue something fierce. After kicking seven shades of shit out of my mom, he would just walk out of the house, leave her there on the floor and go and drink some more.” He said, running the palms of his hands over his jean covered thighs. “She would clean herself up before coming into my room, I would be hidden under the covers praying that he would just leave and never come back. She would just kneel beside my bed and just start singing. Her voice was just like yours, Neva, filled with so much pain and suffering from the man who broke her time and time again.” He said, prying his eyes from the wall to finally look at me. I was shocked into silence, his story was so heartbreaking, but so comforting at the same time.
“Where is your dad now?” I asked tentatively, unsure whether this was territory I wanted to venture down. I understood more than most about demons, about how they could take over you, taunt you and completely destroy you; never forgiving, never relenting and never giving you a second thought. The demons are your friends, your family, your enemies. They are everywhere, in your classes, your home, even the coffee shop. But they are the strongest in your nightmares, sucking the life right out of you. Never. Letting. Go.
“Gone.” He shot, quickly standing and closing down the conversation. “You have a unique tone to your voice, Neva. The pain lingers on every word you sing. It’s been a long time since I have heard anything like it, have you thought about singing at an open mic night?” He said, swiftly changing the subject. His face showed no emotion besides the hard lines of his lips, knowing I had hit a sore subject. His father was his trigger, like mine, just on completely different parallels.
“I haven’t got the confidence to do something like that. I’m not a big fan of having a room full of eyes on me.” I muttered, the thought made the pit of my stomach clench violently. Taking a deep breath, I concentrated on Angel, trying to distract myself from the familiar feeling of bile rising from the depths of my stomach. “I wouldn’t even know where to start.”
“I could help you.” He spoke softly. His finger tilting my chin up to meet his gaze. “We could help each other.”
“Why would you help me Angel? You don’t even know me.” I asked. We didn’t know a single thing about each other, only that we were both broken in one way or another.
“I may not know what your favorite color is or your favorite movie, but what I do know is the pain in your voice, so beautiful and heartbreaking. I also know the complete peace you feel when you touch the strings of a guitar, because I feel it too.” He said, crouching down on the floor in front of me, placing the palms of his hands on my thighs, the innocent touch scorching my skin. “I also happen to know you are very sexy, especially when you blush like you’re doing right now.” He said, a sexy chuckle escaping his lips, causing my whole body to turn a brilliant shade of red.
Angel’s hands started slowly creeping up to the tops of my thighs, the gentle pressure welcome against my skin. Slowly standing, he took a step closer, his eyes locked on mine. I couldn’t look anywhere else, they entranced me, pulling me into a place where I didn’t know which way was up or down. We were nose to nose, his warm breath tickling my lips. His large, masculine hands cupped my face gently, the rough calluses grazing against my skin as he pulled me closer.
“I also know that right now, I want to kiss you.” He said, in a slow sexy drawl. Suddenly his lips crashed against mine, the softness of his lips causing me to gasp. His tongue slowly ran across my bottom lip, searing me with just a single stroke, setting my whole body on fire. Moaning against his mouth, I tasted the bitter shock of whiskey, the sensation turning up my body temperature to boiling. Suddenly his hands were in my hair, tightening as he grasped it into fists, pulling me towards him. The erotic act only helped deepen the kiss, as Angel took control, sending bolts of lightning
through my body. But all of a sudden, I was remembering the way Logan’s hands caressed my skin softly, the way his lips would gently graze mine, how my body responded to Logan’s touch, his slow and deliberate kisses or the way he drew lazy circles in my skin. My head was screaming for Logan, for his kiss. But my body was urging me along with Angel, his rough hands against my skin, the way he could control me completely with just one kiss. But now that Logan had penetrated my thoughts, he was all I could think about. I had to stop this, now.
Placing my hands on Angel’s chest, I shoved hard, abruptly breaking the kiss. I was panting and breathless, trying to absorb what I had just done. “Fuck.” He groaned, placing his forehead against mine. His chest rising and falling as he tried to fill his lungs with air, it seemed as though I wasn’t the only one affected.
The distinctive sound of a door slamming shut startled me, someone had seen us. Pushing against Angel’s chest again, he slowly took a step back away from my body, his face a picture of confusion. I quickly stood and made my way to the door, gasping as a scent filled my senses making my mouth water. It smelled like spiced apple and cinnamon. It smelled like Christmas. It smelt like Logan.
I felt as though I couldn’t breathe, questions were swimming in my mind as I pushed back the urge to vomit. What the hell has just happened? I could feel my world slowly tipping on its axis, pulling me into multiple directions. What exactly had Logan just seen? I had to find him and explain, I may not know what was going on with Logan and I, but I needed find him. Turning to a stunned Angel, I smiled tightly. He had moved to sit on the bed, his elbows resting on his knees. Damn he was gorgeous.
“I have to go.” I said in a breathless whisper. Angel seemed to sense that something had changed as he walked toward me, his gorgeous blue eyes filled with concern as he stood in front of me. Placing his finger underneath my chin, my whole world began to falter, taking me with it. I stumbled from the sheer intensity pulling between us, my body quickly responding to his touch as he grabbed my shoulders, catching me before I fell into the wall behind me. But this time, his touch didn’t cause me to melt. Instead, it felt like a slow tortuous burn. And part of me wanted to stay to see just how far the burn would go, but I needed to run towards Logan. Not only to find out where we stand, but to try and make sense of … well, everything.
Finding You Page 5