Finding You

by S. K. Hartley

  But she didn’t know what I did to Logan to make him run back into Georgia’s arms, she didn’t understand what happened. I don’t think I understand it either.

  “You can’t blame Logan for that, it was my fault.” I said, watching her closely as she raised her eyebrow in question. “He sort of saw me kissing Angel.” I said as I buried my head in my hands.

  “Hey, this isn’t your fault, Neva. Look at me.” She said, while prying my fingers away from my face. “Did Logan ask you out?” She asked, no he didn’t. I shook my head. “Well then, he is an even bigger ass because he is just jealous that you kissed Angel and no doubt that scene in the coffee shop was to make you jealous.” She said pointing her finger at me.

  “What do I do now?” I asked, God this was stupid.

  “That’s up to you, Neva. But just remember a leopard never changes its spots.”

  She was right, why would Logan change for me? There was no doubt I wanted Logan, to feel his lips against mine again, but I will not be made the fool. But I wasn’t finished with Low just yet.

  “Thanks Low.” I said giving her a hug before pulling back to look at her in the face with a stern expression. “So how long have you been screwing my brother?” I asked as I watched a blush cover her from head to toe. Wow, I had never seen Low blush in all the time I had known her.

  “Oh God, I’m sorry. Are you mad at me?” She asked, looking like she was about to cry.

  “Of course I’m not, I think it’s sweet.” I said reassuring her. After all, if anyone could put my brother in check it was Low. “I just wish you would have told me sooner.”

  “I know, I’m sorry. I just didn’t know how you were going to react, plus we haven’t been together long.”

  “Okay, just don’t hurt him, Low.” I said, even though Tate was a pain in the ass, he was still my brother.

  “I won’t, I promise.” She said with a smile. “So anyway what are you going to do about Logan and Angel?”

  “Ugh, I have no idea.” I said as I pulled out my phone, I needed to head out to class. “I’ve got class, but when I know what the hell I’m going to do, you’ll be the first to know.” I said, giving Low a quick hug before heading out the door.

  “Think with your head not your heart, Neva.” Low called after me as I shut the door, right now I didn’t trust either of them.

  Angel: Dinner at 7, be ready at 6:30. I’m coming for you, Angel x

  Chills washed over my body as I re-read Angel’s text for the ninth time in the last hour, it was so unexpected and I loved that about Angel. Everything with him was in the moment, intense and scorching hot. I read the message again, reading the command followed by a seductive threat. It pissed me off, but turned me on at the same time.

  Damn, everything about this man turned me on.

  From his deep, husky voice, his gorgeous blue eyes and every time I was near him he tied me up in knots. But when I was with Angel, all I could think about was Logan and that kiss. But then it would be all crushed when I am given the painful reminder of how I hurt him and how he is hurting me.

  It had been three long and torturous days since I saw Logan at the coffee shop with Georgia, I hadn’t seen him around campus or with Tate either. It shouldn’t bother me, but it did. My head hurt from all the unanswered questions swimming in my mind.

  My class had finished an hour ago but I didn’t want to go back to the dorm. I needed time to think so I came to ‘The Spot.’ Campus was quiet, only a few cars littered the parking lot near the football field. It was 5:00 pm, which I only knew because I couldn’t help glancing from Angel’s text to the time on my phone, the minutes slowly ticking by.

  I was suddenly pulled out of my thoughts by a familiar cackle. Looking over to the parking lot, I quickly found the source of the ear-bleeding laughter. Sitting on the hood of Logan’s truck was the vulture, Georgia. I wish I hadn’t looked, but now I had. I couldn’t look anywhere else.

  Georgia’s long, toned legs were wrapped around Logan’s waist, his head in the crook of her neck, playfully biting her. My hand wrapped around my already restricted throat as I imagined Logan biting down on my neck, before kissing the hurt and trailing his tongue from the base of my throat, licking lazily right up to my ear.

  Shivers engulfed my body as I imagined Logan’s lips on mine, soft but demanding, moist but able to leave my throat so dry, as if I was stranded in the desert desperate for just a tiny taste of water.

  I was panting, breathless and flushed from head to toe. I watched as Logan so intimately took bites out of Georgia’s neck like a man starved. I shouldn’t be watching, this was so wrong. But why couldn’t I look away?

  Sparks exploded through my body as I watched the nakedness of Logan’s back muscles came into view, his shirt all but ripped off as Georgia raked her perfectly polished nails down his beautifully sculptured back. Goosebumps covered every inch of my body as I watched each individual muscle contract under her nails, every muscle in my body clenched as I heard a carnal moan escape his lips. I just couldn’t look away, this was so wrong. I should be repulsed, I should want to go and rip that skank from Logan and kick the crap out of her, I should stop. NOW!

  The sudden sound of Jason Walker singing “Shouldn’t Be Good in Goodbye” sliced through my thoughts like a knife, my phone was ringing in my hand loudly. Shit. My hands fumbled as I tried to get the damn thing to shut up, falling out of my hands and tumbling to the ground. I frantically dived for it, the ground scraping my knees as I reached for my phone so I could silence it. But before I could reach it, a strong, masculine hand wrapped around my phone and picked it up off the ground.

  I was on the floor on my hands and knees, staring at the ground beneath me. I didn’t want to look up. If I did, I wouldn’t be able to control the overwhelming urge to tackle him to the ground. I just didn’t know if I would kiss him senseless or kick seven shades of shit out of him.

  “Neva.” Oh God, even the way he said my name was so damn hot. Finally prying my eyes from the ground, I looked up to find Logan crouched down beside me. Dammit, he looks sexy. His t-shirt was now back on and his hair had that hot, messy look to it. But it was his sexy smirk that caught me off guard. Really caught me off guard.

  “What do you want, Logan?” I asked in a whisper, snatching my phone from his hands.

  “You were watching me?” He asked with fire in his eyes. I could feel the heat rising from my toes as my whole body blushed in response. The question was so innocent, yet it was laced with a command so erotic that it practically dripped sex.

  “Your silence speaks volumes.” He said, flashing that sexy smirk at me once more before quickly leaning in, stopping just before his lips could touch mine. His breathing was erratic, matching mine as my pulse quickened as the seconds slowly ticked by. We sat in this position, both not leaning in for a kiss nor breaking apart. The tension was killing me, I wanted his lips on mine so much it hurt, why wouldn’t he kiss me? Tears stung my eyes as I slowly realized he wasn’t going to kiss me. He was slowly torturing me. I was so desperate for his touch that a single tear slowly fell from my face. Logan’s eyes went wide in surprise, couldn’t he see he was killing me? Couldn’t he see that I just wanted him to hold me?

  I felt the pad of Logan’s thumb gently brush the stray tear away, making my blood boil and my panties wet. He was finally touching me, but only to wipe away the tears he had caused, what I had caused, what we had caused together. This thumb lingered on my cheek as he rubbed those delectable lazy circles in my skin, distracting me. I closed my eyes, basking in the feel of such a small amount of skin against mine. His thumb quickly pulled away, only to be replaced with a kiss so soft it was barely there. My eyes snapped open, he was almost screwing that skank on the hood of his Jeep only minutes ago, how dare he touch me like that!

  “I saw you at the coffee shop, with Georgia.” I spat, my brain-to-mouth filter decided to switch itself off. It just came out so quickly.

  “Like I saw you at the coffee shop, with
Angel.” He shouted “You were kissing him again!”

  “Yeah, and you were practically fucking Georgia on the hood of your damn car!”

  “And you threw yourself at some guy only minutes after I fucking kissed you!” He said harshly.

  “Screw you.” I spat, scrambling up to my feet, knocking Logan on his ass before taking off towards my dorm. I could hear him shouting my name behind me, I couldn’t do this.

  Taking out my phone I quickly wrote out a text.

  Me: I’ll be ready, Neva x

  Low was right, a leopard never changes its spots.

  I had an hour before Angel was coming to get me for dinner but I was still angry and so shamefully turned on, everything south of my waist was throbbing with need. Logan was seriously fucking with my head, bending me, torturing me, breaking me at a painfully slow pace and all I could do was hold on for the ride.

  I walked into an empty dorm room, Low was nowhere to be found and the only sign of life was her messy bed. Sighing, I threw myself on to my bed, face first, burying my head into my pillow. Anger erupted through me, how fucking dare he?! I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry at Logan’s antics, but my body decided to choose for me. Loud, ugly sobs burst from my mouth as I remembered Logan’s touch against my cheek, the way he said my name and the way his lips felt against my skin.

  I had to calm down, my thoughts had been so consumed over Logan for the past couple of days that it was making me dizzy. Then there was Angel who was so intense, so sexy and so domineering that I couldn’t help but submit to his commands, his kisses, his eyes.

  Sitting up on the bed I mentally kicked myself for letting Logan treat me like one of his whores, picking me up only to let me crash right back down. I needed to stop thinking about Logan and move on. He wasn’t mine and was certainly never going to be either, no matter how much I wanted him to be.

  Taking a deep breath, I wiped away the tears before getting up from my bed. Making my way over to the closet, I tried to find something to wear. Angel hadn’t said anything about where we were going, I was excited but nervous. Would I be able to shut off my Logan-filled feelings for just one night? I could only hope. I was sick of him constantly taking over my thoughts.

  It was time to take some control.

  After a ridiculous amount of dress changes, I finally decided on a simple LBD with a sweetheart neckline, resting perfectly just above the knee. It was one of Low’s. Normally I would dress in jeans and a concert tee, but tonight I wanted to look good for Angel. Pairing it with some sexy, fire-engine red heels and a small amount of makeup, I left my hair free to spill against my shoulders.

  I was just re-applying a coat of gloss to my lips when I heard a knock at the door, butterflies soared in my stomach from the knowledge of there being one very hot specimen of a man on the other side of it. Angel was uniquely beautiful, with a chiseled jaw giving him a rough, sexy edge. Coupled with his piercing eyes, he was the bad boy of every woman’s wet dreams.

  Opening the door, my eyes suddenly traveled the length of Angel’s hot body, my jaw instantly hitting the damn floor. The Adonis that was Angel Walker stood in front of me, dressed in black slacks and a dark blue button down shirt. Leaning his arm against the door frame, he looked damn edible. I couldn’t take my eyes off him. Angel was no doubt stunningly handsome, but right now it was his eyes that were making me squirm, they were boundless. Standing in the dull light they looked like Tanzanite, a passionate mixture of deep blue and striking violet – they really were a rare gem.

  “Hi, beautiful.” He said in a slow, sexy whisper.

  Damn this man could knock me off my feet with just a simple ‘hi.’

  I swiftly snapped shut my gaping mouth as I willed my brain to help me out, come on brain I know you are in there!

  “I, um. Hi.” Smooth brain, real smooth!

  I could already picture the ‘do not disturb’ sign being hung in my mind, normal brain function was clearly not happening tonight.

  Angel chuckled softly, clearly amused by my stumbling, making me blush a perfect crimson.

  When it came to this man, I was a stumbling mess.

  I suddenly sucked in a breath as Angel’s hand landed on my waist, pulling me flush against his hard, strong body. I reached out, placing my hands on his unbelievably toned pecks, oh god. Angel’s other hand quickly wrapped around the base of my neck as he lowered his lips to my ear, making me pant with anticipation.

  “You look so fucking beautiful right now. I have to have a taste.” He growled before taking my ear lobe between his teeth, pulling out a moan from deep inside me. His tongue gently tasted my skin as he made a trail of kisses from my ear, over my jaw and finally landing on the corner of my mouth. Cool air replaced his mouth as he started to pull away, my body humming and telling me I wanted more. So much more.

  My arms flew around his neck as I pulled him back against my body, a salacious gleam appearing in his eyes as I trailed my tongue across his bottom lip.

  “So damn sinful.” I whispered before locking my lips with his, causing him to chuckle against my mouth.

  His chuckling soon seized when our tongues collided and danced together, entwining in an erotic embrace. Logan’s face danced before my eyes, but I wasn’t going to let him consume my thoughts. Not tonight, not ever. I quickly pushed him to the back of my mind, hiding him away in a box labeled never to be opened.

  Tonight I just needed to feel wanted and needed, not be treated like a piece of glass.

  “Wow.” I mumbled as I pulled back from his lips, they were just so tempting. I could quite easily sit here for eternity kissing this man, but I knew if I didn’t stop this kiss we wouldn’t ever leave for dinner.

  “You ready?” Angel asked with a satisfied smirk on his face, making me blush. Again.

  “Just give me a minute, I’ll meet you outside.” I said.

  I needed a bit of breathing space, this man could leave me breathless with just a damn kiss.

  I walked into the bathroom and looked into the mirror. Gloss had smeared around my mouth from the intense kiss Angel had planted on my lips. The arousing throb from my lips was making other places throb simultaneously, mostly places below my waist.

  Taking the wash cloth from the sink, I started wiping away the remaining gloss, there wasn’t much point putting on some more if our kisses were going to be that intense. I couldn’t wait.

  Taking a deep breath I made my way out of the dorm and down the stairs to the main entrance. Looking around for Angel, I wondered what tonight would mean for me, for Angel … For Logan.

  Standing on the sidewalk outside the dorm, I quickly sucked in a breath.

  I couldn’t believe my eyes. Angel was sitting on the hood of the sexiest damn car I had ever laid my eyes on.

  Light reflected from its sleek, black, polished body. It was the type of car that could get most men hard just from staring at it. From the glistening chrome to the unmistakable mustang badge, it was an awesome machine. But holy hell it looked like molten sex with Angel sitting on the hood.

  My eyes slowly trail down his beautifully defined body. His muscles bulging against his tight, black slacks as his legs crossed at the ankles. His arms crossed in front of his chest, making his shirt tighten against his magnificently broad chest and shoulders.

  Damn I would buy the damn thing if he came with it!

  “See something you like?” Angel asked in a smooth, sexy drawl, clearly indicating at the double meaning in the question.

  “Yes, I do.” I said with a salacious grin.

  I slowly made my way over to Angel who was now showing off that sexy smirk of his that said ‘I know you want me.’ This man was all kinds of hot and sexy and my god did he know it! Standing toe to toe with the Adonis himself, I placed my hand on his muscular right arm, trailing my nails down his forearm before placing my hand on the hood of the car. “I just don’t think it would fit in my bed.” I said innocently, my eyes roaming his body before looking down at the car.

 
; “Tease.” Angel chuckled, moving off the hood and making his way to the passenger side of the car and opening the door, indicating for me to get in.

  I instantly froze. All the blood in my body quickly drained and ran straight to my ears, throbbing dangerously. The familiar feeling of being trapped quickly consumed me, my hands shaking and my body trembling.

  I couldn’t get in that car with Angel. I was so wrapped up in teasing him that actually having to get into the car was an afterthought.

  After my dad’s accident, I couldn’t even step foot in a car. The thought would fill me with so much fear and dread that I would completely freeze. It wasn’t the actual driving part that would send me into a trembling wreck, it was just a small part of it. It was the foreboding fear of the unknown that got to me, what if we got hit? What if there was someone drunk driving right now? It took me years just to sit in a damn stationary car, never mind letting someone drive it while I was in it. When it came to being in a car with someone there was only two people I could trust, Tate and Logan. It was Logan who took me out for my first drive, we only went around the block but it was a huge achievement for me. I was so proud of myself, but I won’t get in a car with anybody else.

  “I, um, I … can’t.” I stuttered, completely overtaken with the feeling of fear and dread that I couldn’t get my voice to work. Angel grabbed me, clearly alarmed at the look of sheer panic plastered on my face as he pulled me into a tight embrace.

  Moments passed as my erratic heartbeat slowed to a steady rhythm, still wrapped in Angels arms as his chin rested against the top of my head. We were completely silent, the only audible noise was our breathing. I felt so safe in that moment but also slightly unnerved that Angel could pull me back so quickly, pulling back I looked up into his gorgeous blue eyes that were laced with so much worry, I gasped.

  “I’m sorry.” There were no other words that I could say to him to make him understand.

  Taking my face in his hands he placed his lips over mine, he made no move to take it further. It was as if he was trying to tell me something through the kiss, trying to heal me, trying to understand.