“You have this look in your eyes,” she tells me, inching her T-shirt upwards with her hand.
I catch her hand and grin. “No more sex until after we eat.”
Until after I shower, too. My head has less of a nightmarish pounding to it now but I’m sure it doesn’t look or smell particularly nice back there. I need to get cleaned up.
“I suppose I am kind of hungry,” she tells me.
“So, I’m still wrapping my mind around this whole Goddess thing,” I say, really just beginning to think about it again if I’m being honest. “I mean it’s insane, but I can see it. How did it even happen? Were you born different? Because I know you grew up close to Asher. I know you’re not like the whole hundred year old vampire kind of immortal.”
She sits up and we face each other. “My mother used to talk to herself. At least, that’s what I thought she was doing. Turns out, she had a guide or two and they couldn’t convince her she wasn’t crazy. She tried to ignore them. It made her problems worse. Everyone thought she was unstable. I used to read books on mental illnesses. Growing up, I was trying to figure out what was wrong with her. I couldn’t try to get help because I didn’t want to be taken away from her. I didn’t know what might happen to me if I was.”
She pauses and I know she’s revealing something she doesn’t very often. Her gaze drops to the ground under the coffee table. She folds her arms.
“She had no idea she was a descendant of a Goddess. That if she just accepted it, she could be powerful. She couldn’t believe she wasn’t just insane.” Eden smiles sadly. “She died a few years back, just popped a whole bunch of pills and was gone. I didn’t even go to the funeral, Eli. She tortured me growing up. I hated her for such a long time.” Her gaze fills with unshed tears. “Then I moved back to Rapture and found out what I was. I listened to the voices. I didn’t know they were from people others couldn’t see. Not until I was already awakened. I got the chance she was never able to take.”
I put my arm around her and she leans into me, resting her head on my shoulder.
“I’m sorry, Eden. I didn’t know.”
“Almost no-one knows the truth about my mother.” She sniffs a little and sighs. “I wish she’d known. Everything could have been so different.”
“We can’t change the past.”
“But we can make sure we don’t make the same mistakes,” she says. “I know this is happening quickly, but I think we both just knew it was right.”
“Even if someone didn’t seem to think so,” I add, wondering what she makes of her guide’s opinion of me. He seemed like a bit of a prick, but I suppose I’d only met him for a few seconds.
“Don’t mind Fred. He’s an asshole,” she tells me. “I don’t know what his problem was, but it isn’t mine, and that’s what matters. He doesn’t get to choose my partners. I do.”
Partners, plural. Right. This is something I need to get into.
I lick my lips before I speak. “How do things work with Nick and Asher, exactly?”
Seeing them both at her house before we came to L.A. was a bit of a surprise. It had made me wonder what the deal was, and it must have sparked that dream. I’d just assumed she dated them on different days. I wouldn’t have considered that she might be seeing them together like that until I saw them at her house, early enough to have slept over.
“Um, that kind of depends on what you mean.”
“Do they share you, sexually?”
It’s cute how pink her face is getting under this questioning. This is the woman who just begged to be spanked harder an hour ago. I can’t help the smile that turns the corners of my lips.
“Sort of. Once.” She shrugs.
“Did you like it?”
She bites down on her lip before she answers, “Asher fucked me in front of Nick. I came so hard, Eli. If I had them both at once, I think I would die.”
“What about all three of us?”
Her eyes widen, and her breath hitches as she stares at me. Oh, it’s something she wants. I can see it in her face. She’s considering the possibilities right now. There are so much more of them when you add in a third.
“You’re serious,” she gasps it out.
“What’s the use in having three lovers if you can’t get exactly what you want in the bedroom?”
I see it now, that this is the ecstasy I can give her, the way to accept and trust her completely. The way she just gave herself over to me. Unconditional love. That’s what it is.
“I’m sure they feel the same way.” From what I’ve heard of Nick, I’m certain it’s the kind of thing he’d be into. Asher’s kind of on the reserved side, but the quiet ones are usually the most depraved in the bedroom. He already fucked Eden in front of Nick. That’s a step in the right direction at the very least.
“I don’t know,” she says it like she really doesn’t.
“Eden, look at me.” I take her hand and make sure she’s looking into my eyes. “They love you. I love you. We’re all here for exactly what you want. I promise you.”
I kiss her knuckles. She smiles at me but I can tell she’s still not convinced. I’m not going to keep going on about it. I’m just going to make sure I talk to Nick and Asher once we get back. They’re going to need to make the first move on this, or she’ll never believe they want it.
“If nothing else, I’m telling you. I’m interested.”
Her expression relaxes. I’m not sure she believes me completely either, but that doesn’t matter. She’ll believe it when it’s happening. I’m already starting to come up with a plan.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Eden
My thoughts get pretty steamy while we eat. Everything Eli just said is swimming around in my head, making me imagine all kinds of things I doubt will ever really happen. Unless, maybe, he means it? I know Nick does. I just hadn’t pegged Eli for the kind of guy who’d be interested in that kind of threesome, or foursome. If he is... Well, that just leaves Asher.
I flash back to Asher’s intense gaze as he asked me when Nick had last fucked me. That had been filthier than I ever thought he could be. It wasn’t that much further to imagine him saying yes to a threesome. He could be getting closer to wanting that. I did wake up squeezed in between him and Nick. They had to be a little more comfortable with each other to agree to that. Or I could be letting wishful thinking get the best of me.
I have to forget about it. It’s going to drive me crazy going round in circles. It’ll happen when it happens. If it happens. I gaze at Eli and wonder how quickly Nick would be begging me to bring him home if he knew he was open to this. He’d probably jump on the next flight to L.A. just to get here in the middle of the night for the threesome he’d been chasing so hard.
I eat a little food and drink a little beer and we watch some shitty late night game show that seems to have endless rounds and jokes that are so predictable and cheesy they aren’t even snort-worthy.
“How’s the album been going?” He asks between bites of his ribs. I’d never pick something so messy, but they look amazing and I wouldn’t mind sucking the sauce off of those magic fingers of his.
“Um, pretty good. I have a few songs ready to record. I just need the rest of them to show up.” It’s funny, I usually get something once I feel this relaxed, but no melody is coming yet. I guess maybe with everything else that’s going on I’m not completely blissed out.
“Can you play me something, sometime?”
I smile. “If you wear that Sheriff’s uniform, I can.”
“Deal.” He gets up and rinses his hands in the sink in the kitchen area.
“Could you check on Skyler?”
He nods and heads in after he wipes his hands on the towel on the counter. He comes back a minute later, shaking his head. “She’s still out of it. Vitals are steady. She just needs to sleep it off.”
“You think they’ll try to come for her here?”
“We don’t know what they might try to do. We don’t know anything ab
out them.” He shrugs.
“I wonder what they did to Lawson.”
“He double-crossed you, Eden. Don’t worry about him. He got whatever he deserved.”
I nod slowly, but I’m worried for Skyler’s sake if nothing else. He cared about her. He had to, didn’t he? Or he wouldn’t have risked going up against Gods of Destruction to try to get her out of there. So what if he screwed me over? “He said he was damaged goods. The guy I took out with a kiss, that was a Dark Forces God. They have it in for those of us on the side of love.”
“So that’s what that was. With the flash of light?”
I nod. He would have gotten around to asking about that sometime. I’m glad I was able to tell him the truth.
“Huh. So what about Lawson? Did he know you were a Goddess?”
“He did. Because he’s a God.”
“Seriously?”
“He’s a God of Love. I know he didn’t lie to me about that.” He didn’t actually lie to me about anything. He couldn’t have intended to give me over to them. Could he?
“Does that mean he has to be one of the good guys?”
I shrug. “I thought it did.”
It wasn’t as if we could go back and rescue him. There was no way in hell I could risk taking on two more Gods of Destruction. I doubted the other two would be as chatty as the first. I wouldn’t get the chance to pull the same trick on them.
“We can’t go back there,” Eli tells me, warning me with those dark eyes of his.
“I know. We need to leave town with Skyler. She won’t be safe here for long.” Those creeps took her once. Maybe they got what they wanted from doing that. Maybe Lawson was their real goal. I have no way of knowing for sure. All I know is I want Sky to be safe. For now that means getting her out of L.A. We’d have to think about what else it might mean later.
“You mind if I stay at your place when we get back to Rapture?” Eli asks.
All three of my guys under one roof? Sounds good to me. “Of course.”
“Great. I took two week’s vacation from work and this trip only cut into a couple of days.”
“So you’re all mine for these whole two weeks?”
“I’m all yours, Eden.”
Chapter Thirty-Three
Eli
The guilt trip doesn’t start to kick in until I’m in bed with her, pinning her lithe body to the mattress. She’s still wearing her sexy lace panties, though my straining cock can feel how wet they are. I’m aching to rip them from her and push back inside that tight warmth. I force myself to hold off. I kiss her sweet lips. She strokes the hairs at the nape of my neck gently, pulling her fingers through my slightly overgrown hair, but careful not to move too close to where I got brained. Every move she makes has a gentle touch to it, a sense of caring that shows her heart.
I don’t deserve her and I know it. If I was a stronger man I’d stop this and tell her she chose the wrong guy. Her guide had good reason to doubt me. She should have listened to him.
She wraps her legs around me, pressing my dick closer to her soaked panties. I’m growing desperate to thrust inside of her. The conflict raging inside my head isn’t weighting as heavily as my desire to be with her. Maybe just one night. I can love her for one incredible night. Then I have to walk away.
Really, Eli? You’re just going to break her heart? You’re not even going to tell her what’s wrong?
I kiss her harder. I don’t want to let her go. She’s mine. I’ve waited so long for someone I could share everything with. She’s so goddamned fucking perfect. I can’t let her go.
My cock throbs at her entrance. I can’t stand to wait another second. I scrape her panties aside and push into her. I swallow her muffled cry with my tongue as I begin to rock slowly into her pussy. I wrap my arms around her, keeping her warm body as close as I can. I take my time with her, savouring each thrust. She’s breathless when I let go of her mouth and gaze down on her gorgeous face. She moans as I start to thrust harder. I lean in and kiss her throat. I feel her shiver as I scratch her soft skin with my stubbled jaw-line.
She doesn’t care if I hurt her, as long as it feels good deep down. I made her raw with my hand before and she loved every second of it. She’s willing to take a little pain when it’s worth the reward.
I know I can make pleasuring her seem worth it. I’m not so sure she’ll be willing to take the deeper pain I know I’ll give her. I didn’t tell her all my secrets. She might think she knows who I am, but I’m still hiding something that could be a deal-breaker.
I have to tell her. She can decide if she still wants to be with me. It’s her choice. I made mine already. I can’t take it back, and I won’t hide it from her any longer.
I would do anything for this woman. She needs to know how far I’d go for her. She needs to know how much darkness is still inside me. I thrust harder, and she starts to come for me, her back arching under me as I continue slamming into her.
“Oh, Eli,” she cries out, raking her nails down my back.
The pain sparks my climax. The cuts are nothing; they might be a little bloody and raw for a while. I know it was a knee-jerk reaction because I thrust into her so hard while she was coming. I deserve to be scratched up. I deserve worse.
I spill my seed inside her and refuse to move. She gazes up at me, her face flushed and her pale blue eyes wild.
“Did I hurt you?”
She shakes her head slowly. “It got harder right at the end but I loved it.”
“There’s something I have to tell you.”
“That sounds serious, Eli.”
I pull out of her, wondering if I’ll ever get to be inside her again. “It is serious.”
She sits up. “I’m used to taking it hard. I like it that way.”
Shit, her sultry confession makes my dick wonder what the hell’s going on. I’m preparing for the worse, and he’s getting ready to go again.
“Eden, I need you to be honest with me.”
“Okay.” She has a bemused look on her face.
“Say some guy from that hotel made it clear he was going to do something to hurt you.” I should go straight for the truth, and I know it. But I want to get her instinctive reaction before I spill my last secret. I want to know she isn’t just telling me what I want to hear.
“Um, okay.”
“If I shot him dead, how would you feel?”
I wait anxiously for her to answer. I’m expecting the standard shock response. The why would you do such a thing? She looks deep in thought before she opens her mouth.
“Eli, did you kill someone for me?”
Fuck. So much for trying this the long way round. I nod, keeping my head dipped. I’m afraid to look into her eyes now. I don’t want to see disgust, horror, fear. Any of those things that would spell the end for us.
She reaches out and brushes my hair back out of my face. “I know there’s darkness inside you. I know that, Eli. You don’t have to hide it from me.”
I look up and swallow the ice-cold fear that fills me at the thought of losing this woman. It’s the same fear that made me kill Logan. I can’t allow anything to happen to her.
“I’ve killed for you, Eden. I would die for you.”
“What happened?” Her voice trembles just a little and I wonder if this is it.
If I tell her and she decides we’re done, I don’t know what I’m going to do. I close my eyes.
“You were out of town. Asher called me.”
“I know about that,” she says. “Logan tried to kill Asher. He called you for help.”
I nod. “I told him I would help run Logan out of town.”
I know I should move, but having her pinned under me feels safer. I don’t want to just let her run away from me. I need to make sure she stays and hears me out to the end. No matter what the result of my confession turns out to be.
“He was obsessed with you. I could see it. He’d already tried to kill Asher. I knew how much further he could sink. I’ve seen it happen
before.”
“You killed Logan?” She asks in a neutral tone than makes my heart start to hammer. Shit. She’s trying to keep calm. Please don’t let this be the beginning of the end.
“I shot him. I did it to protect you, and if I had to do it all over again, I’d make that same damned decision every time.”
“Have you killed anyone else?”
I shake my head. “He was the second.”
She doesn’t squirm or raise her voice, she just places a hand on my arm and I feel the soothing touch of her light before I see it. “Eli, you were being true to yourself. You did what you felt you had to. Would I want you to go around killing people for no reason? Of course not. But this was different. You did it out of love. Your heart was in the right place even if your actions were extreme.”
I can’t believe she’s forgiving me of this. What did I do to deserve this woman? I’m too stunned to speak.
“You need to promise you’ll tell me if you get those kinds of urges again, Eli.” Concern crosses her expression. “You need to be careful, to stay on the right path.”
“I will, I promise.” I lift her other hand and kiss it.
She removes her hand and sighs softly as she pulls me into a hug. I relax and move enough to roll with her so we’re lying side by side.
“I need to tell you something too,” she says with a wry smile.
“You do?” Nothing would make a difference to me. I wonder what the smile is for.
“Logan isn’t dead,” she says. “Long story, but it has to do with a Goddess.”
“He’s not dead?” My thoughts swirl. “How is that possible? I mean I’m relieved, in a way, but what if he comes after you again? What if he’s going after Asher again right now?”
“Logan is with Diana now. He’s not a threat anymore. She used to be a Goddess. She brought him back from the dead.”
“Okay. Every time you speak now I keep coming up with more questions.”
“We’ve got all night, Eli. You can ask all the questions you want to.”
I can’t help thinking there are better uses for our time. Especially now that there are no secrets left between us. “I think the inquisition can wait. We have the whole night to spend together in this bed. Let’s not waste it.”
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