by Derek Ailes
“Trust me, I know what I’m doing.”
“That’s what I’m afraid of,” she returned.
Mace jerked the wheel violently and zoomed to the right, causing several cars to crash into each other. The professor shook her head in disgust as she saw an explosion in the rearview mirror.
“Where are you going?” Stable asked.
“I saw something up ahead.”
Mace pulled into a parking lot of a restaurant and stopped the vehicle by the front door.
“Shakey’s Pizza Buffet?” The professor shouted angrily. “You caused a major pileup for a buffet?”
“A pizza buffet. Come on, I haven’t eaten here in decades.” Mace ran up to the front door, danced for several seconds and walked in.
“I guess we’re eating pizza,” Stable said.
“He does know they still have several locations in California in our timeframe?”
“Just humor him. He’ll be more focused after he fills his stomach. Trust me, I know.”
They walked into the restaurant where Mace was being held on the ground by two, large pig-like creatures who were rubbing their snouts on his chest. Several other pig-like creatures were eating out of the buffet trays like they were troughs.
“Let him go!” the professor commanded.
They released him. He stood up and wiped the pig snot off his chest with some napkins.
One of the creatures stared at her confused and walked over to her. Another pig-like creature wearing a biker uniform grabbed her from behind. She connected with his mind and communicated with him telepathically. “You will leave me alone.”
“I don’t know what’s wrong with me? I came in here to eat and transformed into this creature,” the creature explained.
She entered the mind of every one of the creatures in the room, and they all told her the same thing.
The swinging doors to the backroom opened and two pig-like creatures wearing aprons approached her.
“Everybody stay calm. We will help you figure this out.” The professor looked over at the television and witnessed the local newscaster transforming into one of the creatures. “We are close to Nexxus’s sewage treatment plant. Get a water sample from the kitchen. The water supply may be contaminated.”
“I think Nexxus is using this town as test subjects. He had to perfect his serum somehow. In a couple of decades, I’m the result of his experiments.”
“Mace, I believe you’re right. We must find a way to help these people.”
Mace looked over at the buffet table where one of the creatures was stuffing its face with bacon. “Stop that! That’s cannibalism!” The creatures looked up at him for a second before continuing its bacon feast. “There’s no coming back from that.”
“Professor, the water contains minimum traces of contaminants similar to those found in Mace. Drink enough of it and then mutation,” Stable informed her.
“We need to stop Nexxus, destroy that serum, and then synthesize a cure.”
They heard a loud crash outside followed by sirens. Mace looked out the window. “Those things are everywhere.”
“We will find a cure,” the professor promised the creatures. “Let’s go.”
Mace cautiously drove the van out of the parking lot trying to avoid hitting any of the pig-like creatures. “I think Romero had it wrong. It isn’t a zombie apocalypse. It’s the Night of the Living Swine.”
A police car swerved away from the van and crashed into a water hydrant. Two pig-like creatures dressed in police uniforms climbed out.
“Oh the irony!” Mace laughed.
“This is not a laughing matter!” Stable snarled.
Several people were on the side of the road transforming into the creatures.
“It’s spreading at a fast rate,” the professor said.
“The sewage treatment facility is outside the city limits. We’ll be there in a few minutes.”
“Mace, stop the van!” Stable shouted as he saw an iron giant in the distance guarding the facility.
Mace slammed on the brakes. “Now what?”
“We’re going to have to sneak up on it and destroy it,” Stable advised.
“Good thing I have another transporter. Stable, if you can distract it, I can transport myself onto it. I’ll enter it somehow and destroy it from within.”
“That’s dangerous,” the professor said.
“Danger is my middle name. Actually it’s Francis. Or is it Ajax? I can’t remember. For this particular instance, I’ll stick with Danger.”
“Take the off ramp. We’ll drive around the facility and backtrack on foot,” the professor instructed.
Several soldiers dressed in black attire and wearing black masks, patrolled the facility while the iron giant stood waiting to ward off a possible attack.
Mace spit on the transporter, shining it with his sleeve. He tippy-toed his way over to the soldiers using everything standing in his path as cover. As he got close enough to the soldiers, he transported and reappeared between two of him. He shot one of them in the head and spun around and shot the other one.
“Trust me, I did you both a favor. You won’t have to suffer through grunge music.”
He flung two daggers taking out two more guards.
“You won’t have to suffer through Barney.”
He chopped the other two guards’ heads off with his katanas.
“And you two won’t have to suffer through the Teletubbies.”
Stable aimed a rocket launcher toward one of the iron giant’s knees and fired. As the rocket neared the iron giant, the giant grabbed it and crushed it in its right hand. While distracted by the onslaught, Mace transported onto its back. It turned its head and stared at him.
Mace held up the Autobot Matrix of Leadership so the iron giant had a clear view of its magnificence. “Iron Giant! Iron Giant! I now possess that which you fear most! You'll do my bidding or taste my wrath!”
It swung its arm trying to fling him off its back. He could see an opening in its arm joint near its armpit. He ran up its side and transported himself into the opening. A few minutes later, its chest exploded launching its head into outer space where it began orbiting the earth like it was a moon.
Mace landed in front of Stable. “I definitely have the Touch!”
“Mace, we’re not alone,” the professor warned.
Hundreds of soldiers stood in front of them pointing their weapons at them.
“Wait! Don’t kill us! You haven’t experienced my magic show yet!” Mace held his katanas upward. He swung them in the air making them appear to be spinning. “Wait for it!”
Electricity filled the air causing the professor’s hair to stand straight up like she was grasping a static electric ball. The soldiers stood in awe and then clapped as the katanas caused a spectacular light show. Their astonishment changed to horror as the electricity engulfed them electrocuting all of them.
“Maybe, you should have killed us,” Mace said as he placed the katanas back into their scabbards.
“Ok, that was impressive,” Stable said.
Mace grabbed a white sock off of Stable’s chest. “Now where did that come from?”
“I would suggest storming the facility before Nexxus can escape,” the professor advised.
“I’ll lead.” Mace ran forward leaving the other two in his dust.
“Now he’s a speedster?” Stable asked.
“In this world, I guess he can possess anybody’s abilities. If he begins to fly, shoot out ice or control storms, then we know the writer went too far.”
“Are you coming?” They could barely hear Mace ask from the front of the facility.
“We better hurry, or there won’t be anybody left for us to kill,” Stable said as he tried to maneuver through the trail of dead bodies.
Nexxus watched Mace enter the facility from his computer council. He had witnessed his battle with the iron giant and his soldiers. He sensed t
hat the blood from this particular superhero could hold the key DNA sequence necessary to perfect his serum. If only I could capture him long enough to extract his blood.
“Boss, you sent for me?” A tall, muscular woman whose body was completely tattooed red with black markings entered the room. She wore a white outfit with a matching white helmet shaped like a large tooth.
“You are my strongest apprentice. Capture that superhero. Don’t kill him. I need his blood.”
“Yes, my liege.”
The three superheroes entered a large factory where raw sewage was being mixed with a glowing green liquid in a large tank and then poured into the bottles on the assembly line. Mace grabbed one of the bottles. He recognized the brand from a favorite beverage he drank back in the 80s.
“We got the juice. I remember the jingle very well. He’s selling the serum disguised as a popular soda drink. If he has a chance to distribute it nationwide, then we will have a major swine epidemic on our hands,” Mace explained.
“We know what will happen if he perfects the serum,” Stable added.
“Zombiefied clown zombies for one,” Mace said.
“Destroy the facility,” the professor instructed.
Mace dropped a bag of bombs by Stable’s feet. “You know the drill.”
“Did that bag come out of thin air?” The professor asked.
“Not exactly,” Mace said. “Stable, I would wash your hands before you eat.”
Stable placed one of the bombs on the wall behind them.
“Remove that at once!” a female voice echoed throughout the facility.
“Dark Molar!” The professor stood in shock. She was the last person she was expecting to encounter again.
“Charlene Zagar, it’s been a while. I missed our passionate nights together.”
“You and her? Nice.” Mace raised his hand expecting a high five from the professor.
“Men,” the professor and Dark Molar said in unison.
Dark Molar lifted her hand and Stable was flung against the wall. She grabbed the bag of bombs and threw it into the raw sewage. “Charlene, if only you would have trained me personally, I may have been working with you to stop Nexxus. It’s too bad I had to turn to dark forces to complete my training. It’s ok. The dark side has cookies.”
“I didn’t sense the darkness in you at first. I was blinded to it thanks to my attraction toward you. When I realized your true nature, I ended it with you.”
“Nice,” Mace said, nodding his head in approval.
“Grow up!” they both shouted in unison.
Mace slowly grabbed one of his katanas as the two women continued to converse. Dark Molar grabbed Mace’s neck and lifted him in the air while squeezing his throat tightly.
“I bet if this was depicted on a billboard, Rose McGowan wouldn’t complain,” Mace managed to say.
Dark Molar looked over at the professor.
“Probably not,” they both said in unison.
“Why am I so turned on by this?” Mace asked as she tightened her grip.
“Nexxus has plans for you. Consider yourself lucky.” She released her grip. He floated in midair unable to move. “Charlene, you on the other hand. I’m going to enjoy this.”
“You have no power over me,” the professor said to her telepathically.
“Actually, I do.”
The professor tried to attack, but Dark Molar’s mental abilities were too strong for her.
“I don’t understand.”
“My mental powers were heightened thanks to Nexxus’s experiments. You don’t stand a chance. The only option is to submit.”
As Dark Molar focused on the professor, her hold over Mace’s body began to diminish. He reached for his transporter.
“Do it,” the professor instructed.
He pressed the button and reappeared on the other side of the factory.
“Stop Nexxus!”
Stable collapsed to the floor as Dark Molar’s hold on him diminished as well. She turned around and screamed as she realized that Mace was gone.
“You think you’re clever, Charlene? You will pay dearly for that!” She grabbed a sword out of her scabbard and it began to glow dark red.
The professor was able to subdue Dark Molar with her mind. “Stable, retrieve the bombs!”
As Dark Molar broke the professor’s mental hold on her, she swung her sword sideways slicing the professor in half. Her upper torso flew upward while her lower half crashed to the floor.
Dark Molar walked over to the professor’s upper torso. The professor was using all of her mental abilities to keep herself from bleeding out.
“Oh Charlene, I call this fate,” she said and used her sword to burn off the professor’s hair and then walked away from her. She stared at Stable who was searching through the sewage. “Go ahead and destroy this facility. Charlene will be dead soon. That’s all I care about. Now I must go and stop your friend.”
“Oh, Nexxus, where are you?” Mace shouted as he ran through the facility killing every guard he encountered. “I’m looking forward to killing you again and for the first time!”
Mace was violently flung forward into the wall at the end of the hallway. Dark Molar grabbed his arm and dragged him into the room on the left where Nexxus stood next to an operating table.
“Strap him in,” he instructed.
“I thought you looked ugly before, but I think Zarathustra was an improvement.”
“Zarathustra, I like that. That is a more fearful name than Nexxus. Thanks for the suggestion.”
“I’m glad I could be of assistance.”
“Your blood will be of most assistance to me,” he said as he stuck a needle in his arm filling a vial up with his blood followed by three more vials. He placed the vials in a briefcase marked weapon Y-24. “I think that should be enough for now.”
“You won’t get away with this,” Mace promised as he jerked his right wrist loosening the strap, freeing his hand.
“Why do superheroes always say that to us supervillains? This isn’t a comic book. This is real life and in real life, the good guy doesn’t always win.”
“You are delusional.”
“Thinking you can save the day makes you the delusional one.”
A fly landed on Nexxus’s face.
“The fly is going to enter his mouth! He ate it! Gross!” Mace thought as he tried to hold back his laughter unsuccessfully.
“Dark Molar, kill him.”
“With pleasure,” she said as Nexxus walked out of the room carrying the briefcase.
Dark Molar grabbed her sword and held it up to Mace’s face. He could feel the heat emanating from its glowing blade. He put his hand on the transporter and released it from his belt. As she swung the sword downward, he shoved the transporter in her mouth and pressed the button. Her head jerked back, violently snapping her neck, as she was transported into the wall behind her. Mace jumped up and grabbed her sword. He walked over to her limp body and sliced it in half.
He rushed out of the room hoping to catch Nexxus before he could escape. He could see him heading for the factory. He quickened his pace. As Nexxus entered the factory, Mace drop-kicked him from behind. The briefcase flew upward landing on the platform adjacent to the large tank containing the raw sewage and serum mixture.
“No, I need those!” Nexxus screamed as he ran for the ladder leading to the platform.
Mace was about to pursue him, but he noticed Stable kneeling next to the professor’s upper torso. He quickly forgot Nexxus and ran over to her.
“Stable, is she alive?”
“Her pulse is weak.”
“Mace, Nexxus must be stopped,” the professor managed to say.
Nexxus struggled as he tried to climb the slippery ladder leading to the platform. The bag of bombs, covered in sewage, lay next to Stable’s feet. Mace grabbed one of them and activated it. He waited a few seconds and threw it toward the platform. It
landed on the platform as Nexxus was almost to the top of the ladder. It exploded causing Nexxus to be thrown off the ladder and into the tank. The sound of him screaming echoed throughout the factory before the mixture entered his body, drowning him. The briefcase landed on the ground away from the tank.
The professor closed her eyes.
“I don’t feel a pulse,” Stable said.
Mace looked over at the briefcase, then at his arm and then back at the professor. “I have an idea. It may be a long shot, but it could be the only chance to save her.”
He grabbed one of the katanas and slit his right wrist. His blood flowed out covering the professor’s lower half. His blood mixed with the professor’s, and her skin extended around her torso forming a new skin around the area below what was left of her waist. She opened her eyes and gasped for air.
“Professor, you’re back.”
“How?”
“My blood has regenerative powers. I figured if it works on me, why not you.”
“Then in theory, we could create an antidote for Nexxus’s serum from your blood.”
“Professor, we better get you to the school. Dr. Kelley can synthesize the cure while you recuperate.”
“My future self agrees that your blood is the cure. She also says that one can’t change the past,” the professor explained.
“Which means?”
“Jar Jar Binks is inevitable.”
“Then no matter what I do, I will still be the Undead Pool?”
“If that is what fate has decided for you, then the Undead Pool you shall be. I’m destined to live without a lower half.”
“Then, there is no point in going to the future and trying to stop Trump’s brain from being transplanted into the orangutan,” Mace said gloomily.
The professor closed her eyes. She mumbled something before drifting off to sleep.
“Mace, help me take her back to the van. Then we’ll come back and destroy this facility.”
The professor snapped awake and smiled as they carried her out of the facility. “I knew we’d make a Why-Man out of you.”
“I didn’t know I had it in me.”
The sewage and serum mixture bubbled furiously as Nexxus climbed out of the tank and jumped down to the floor below. His face burned painfully, and he grabbed it with his hand. In one violent motion, he ripped away his face revealing an evil, demonic clown one underneath.