“And there aren’t always happy endings,” I added.
“Let me ask you this,” Reece put forth. “It’s easy to get drawn to them because they have human characteristics and they are different, even superior. Could you really be happy with one of them, with him?”
“I’m not with him though…I couldn’t be with someone unless I loved that person entirely. You can love someone and not like everything they do. The difference is you accept them.”
For a while there was silence on both ends.
“So, why don’t you tell me,” I began with a grin. “What don’t you like about me?”
Reece threw his head back and his laughter filled the cab of his truck.
“Where do I begin?” He chuckled. “You’re stubborn, maddening, secretive, and way too distant.” I bit my lip in quiet reflection while he reached over and tousled my hair. “I can’t help but love all of you.”
I raised an eyebrow suggestively. “Love? What if I gained fifty pounds?”
“Well…there would be more of you to love.” He winked and searched my face for a reaction. “I would enjoy the ride.”
My eyes widened and I stifled a giggle. “I can’t believe you just said that.”
“Believe it baby,” he teased. “You’re one catch I can’t let go of.”
Reece reached over to search for my hands under the jacket. His big warm hand covered both of mine and I felt him trace the ring on my middle finger. If it weren’t for my conflicting feelings about love and friendship my time with Reece would have been perfect.
Reece walked me to the door and as much as I wanted him to come in, I couldn’t bring myself to invite him in. His finger traced down the hollow of my back, sending shivers up my spine. As the rain continued to fall and beat down on the roof of the porch, I dropped my hand from the door and turned to face him. He was looking down at me. His eyes were soft and kind. My lips curved up and I reached up to brush his face with my fingertips.
“I had the perfect, happy day.”
I began to turn towards the door when he stopped me.
“Let me ask you again…” he started. “Will you be with me?”
My brows drew together and my eyes reflected the internal struggle I was feeling as I stood there in short-lived silence.
“You know we can’t…” I whispered.
“I know we should,” he countered, leaning in to me. The more I felt his form so close to mine, the more I felt myself losing. We stayed together, soaking up each other’s presence until headlights flooded the porch. I leaned to the side to see over Reece’s broad shoulder.
Haven stared from inside the car. He stepped out of the driver’s seat and with a face as cold as stone approached us. Reece tensed up and faced Haven with a severe disposition. Reece was too polite to make a scene but I knew if he wasn’t on my territory he would have said something. Haven didn’t acknowledge him but his piercing blue eyes swept over my haggard, unkempt appearance. I felt myself flush under his serious gaze.
“It’s Lauren,” Haven said gravely. “She’s asking for you.”
“What’s wrong?” I asked. “Is she alright?”
“No, I’m afraid not. Will you come?”
I nodded.
“I’ll take her,” Reece offered, causing Haven to look at him for the first time that night.
“That won’t be necessary,” Haven responded.
“It’s okay Reece,” I said, realizing time was of great importance. “You know where I’ll be. I’ll talk to you later, okay?”
Reece broke his silent battle with Haven to look down at me. “I’ll wait for you,” he offered, but I shook my head.
“I appreciate that Reece, but I’ll call you when I get home.” With that I squeezed his hand and ran inside to let Pandora in.
Chapter 36
The mood inside Haven’s home was somber as the life that Lauren inflected into their household began to diminish. I followed Haven past the foyer and great room where I had often spoken with Lauren to a large room overlooking the woods in back. She was resting there, propped up by several pillows. Her hair was braided and over the side of one shoulder. Her breaths were shallow and her hand was being held by Philip who rested his dark head on the bed next to their intertwined hands. Lauren looked from the open window to me and her eyes twinkled with kind recognition. Lacey was standing next to Levi near the head of Lauren’s bed. There, Lacey held on to Levi and he held her back, but his eyes were staring at nothing in particular.
I didn’t belong. I was intruding. They were a family and Lauren was the glue that held everyone together. I stepped forward as Lauren beckoned me to. She pulled her hand free from Philip long enough to pat the bed. I carefully sat down and held my hands together as Philip reclaimed hers. I saw Philip long enough to see the anguish written across his handsome dark features. I mustered a genuine smile for Lauren and as she looked back at me, she softly asked the others to leave. They all hesitated, Philip especially, but she insisted and one by one they mournfully filed out of the room. There, in dim light, with the rain beating down and trickling on the windows, Lauren reached out to me. Her thin hands were cold and weak, but I tried to warm them with my own.
“Dear Willow,” she managed to say. “Do you hear the rain? It’s so comforting to me at this time. From the moment I first saw you I knew you had the kind of depth that appreciates and understands the morning and night; how one has to have the other.”
Without answering, I drew my lips up in a smile and nodded while squeezing her hand.
Lauren looked at me, returning the smile with her beautiful but tired features.
“I always hoped you would be the one…the one for Haven, but I can see now that you are a girl in love with someone else.”
“I don’t know what to say,” I excused softly.
“I worry about them…how they will fare without me. I’ve kept them from forgetting and I remind and encourage them how to be. Without a focus they become distracted, even brutal. Without love will they indulge the opposite?”
“Miss Lauren, I don’t know,” I cried. “I don’t know what to do.”
“You will do as your heart tells you,” she soothed. “You also need to be cautious, for you are different too and have your own complicated heritage. I hoped you would find belonging here, with your kind, where you could be protected, but you are drawn elsewhere, and I understand that, but it doesn’t stop me from worrying about you.”
“What do you want from me?” I asked quietly.
“I want you to know that if you’re ever in need, you can come here. I’ve seen the way you try to suppress your pain and I know you’re searching. I fear for your safety, and like me, I believe you would be a positive influence here.”
I tried to hold back the tears as my throat ached. “I will take your words with me and remember them. I promise.”
Lauren’s eyes brimmed with tears of her own. “Will you please call my family back in?”
I stood up from the bed but didn’t need to call for anyone because Philip came in first, followed by Haven, then Levi and Lacey. I moved to the door and stood there. I watched as Lacey kissed Lauren and then Levi moved in to whisper in his sister’s ear. He caressed her hair and held her gently. Haven bent over and Lauren caressed his face and he kissed her on the forehead. Lauren turned to Philip who was kneeling by her side. He buried his head next to hers before climbing into bed next to her where he spooned her and held her to him. Struck by the intensity and emotion of their bond I moved out of the room, and the rest followed, allowing Philip and Lauren their last moment together. Although I was well acquainted with death, I had not watched it happen in front of me and I didn’t know what to feel.
Haven had gone back in the room and soon after we all heard Philip. He didn’t scream and he didn’t cry, but his heart wrenching moan would have seized anyone. That’s when everyone else filed back into the room and I walked away from their grief and the vibrant, loving life that had just slipped a
way. I descended the stairs and sat down, leaning my shoulder against the wall. Someone would have to drive me home now. I should have let Reece take me as I didn’t want to burden a grieving family.
I was so lost in thought I didn’t know how much time had passed. I didn’t even notice that Haven had come down the stairs until I felt him sit down next to me. I looked at him and saw him staring into the great room, not really seeing anything. I leaned my head against the wall and heard Haven murmur into the darkness, “She’s right, you know. I want you to always remember that.”
“She was a dear woman,” I responded. “So dear she gave some of her last words to me…someone she barely knew.”
I lifted my head from the wall to look at Haven. His features were darker than I had ever seen them and his emotions were in check but brimming under the surface. Ever so softly I said, “I’m so sorry.”
Haven nodded with solemn acceptance. “I’ll take you home now.”
Rain kept falling as we drove down the dark, muddy road. The sky seemed to be grieving with those of us left behind. Haven drove slower than before and his eyes were focused into the darkness with nothing but a trail of light for guidance. He didn’t cry but his face was stoic.
“So much death,” I lamented out loud. “Too much.”
“It doesn’t always have to be that way,” Haven responded, still looking forward.
“But it does...I doubt we would appreciate all that we have if it lasted forever.”
For a moment Haven closed his eyes and a muscle rippled along his cheek. “Tell me about your dad. How did he die?”
“He just did.” I said, a lump forming in my throat at the nearness of such a grievous memory. “He was young…there were no warnings. I was at school when it happened.” I stopped speaking in an effort to keep my trembling emotions from altering my voice. “I cannot stand that he died alone. He was working in his shop out back…I was told that his heart gave out.”
Haven looked at me tenderly. “You found him?”
I nodded once. “I knew something was wrong. I felt it all day and when I walked around the bend to the driveway something felt off. Pandora didn’t come out to greet me like she normally did. When I walked towards the house I saw her first…she was guarding him and he was lying near his workshop.”
I looked out the side window, closing my eyes tightly to keep warm tears from running.
“Maybe if I had been there I could have helped him.” Still staring out the window I tried to discreetly wipe the tears as they brimmed over.
I felt Haven’s hand on my leg. Knowing that his grief was as palpable as mine, I allowed the intimacy and put my hand on top of his while we shared our grief.
“It was probably better for you that you did not see him die,” he said. “And he wasn’t alone. He’s with your mother now.”
With a trembling voice I looked at my hand on top of his and said, “You always remember the good things, and I remember all of them. He was a wonderful man. I treasure my time with him, however brief. I shouldn’t complain, I shouldn’t lament being alone. I was a lucky girl.”
I tried to smile through the fresh tears. “He gave me enough love to last a lifetime.”
I lifted my hand from Haven’s but before I could wipe away the few remaining tears, Haven’s smooth, cool hand caught them first. I gave him a sideways glance. He looked to the side before glancing my way. “I saw them together you know.”
In wonder I raised my brows. “Tell me…please.”
“Your father,” he began. “He was doodling on her hand and she was smiling. When he finished he blew on her hand…drying ink I suppose, and she raised it and laughed out loud before kissing him. It was a brief moment but I remembered it because their happiness struck me and made me wonder.”
“How is that possible?” I asked. “…That you should run into them?”
“I was sent there. I’ll tell you why someday.” His voice trailed off briefly. “Your mother was very easy to pick out of a crowd. She was captivating. Everything about her was; it wasn’t any one thing. She was sitting on a bench with your father and I knew who she was. I couldn’t look away because it’s the kind of love you don’t see very often. The only other couple I’ve seen with that kind of connection was Philip and Lauren.”
He stopped speaking as Lauren’s name brought on a fresh wave of grief. While we sat in silence my thoughts took me back to what little I remembered of my mother and of her image frozen in time. She would have been around my age then…and although he was talking about my parents, it seemed like he was talking about strangers, and I wanted to know them.
Chapter 37
“Will this rain ever end?” Anne complained as we sat across from each other in the living room. We were both reading but Anne, who was curled up on the couch in white pajamas, pulled back the curtain to peer outside. From where I sat I could see the billowing gray clouds rolling across the sky. The street was covered in a fast flowing torrent and periodic booms of ominous thunder broke the silence.
I was reading my father’s journal, savoring the words he left behind and knowing that through him he was bringing my mother and their love back to life.
Pandora roused me from my brief escape into the past by rising and heading towards the back door. I carefully placed the journal on the stand next to me and followed her. Seeing that the rain was not letting up, I slipped on a pair of flip flops and opened the door to let her out.
I followed her into the rain and lifted my face to the dreary sky above and let the cold rain envelop me. I walked into the yard and lifted my hands to watch the rain run off my fingernails. I took pleasure from the liberty I felt in being so unrestrained. I blinked to see Pandora watching me curiously. I laughed out loud and began to chase her. Unsure at first, she lit up and began to dance around the yard playfully.
When thunder sounded I motioned for Pandora to follow me but a movement in a tree behind me caused me to halt. I looked over my shoulder and wiped the rain from my lashes when I saw a form jump down from the tree. He shook his blonde hair and called to me. “Ah, restless wanderer, I enjoyed your dance. It feels natural doesn’t it, being out here?”
Irritated, I swept my heavy wet hair behind my back and folded my arms.
“What did you call me?” I demanded hotly.
“Don’t you know?” he grinned. “That’s what your surname means. Quite fitting, don’t you think?”
“What’s not fitting is you’re being here. Go away.”
Tristan’s eyes twinkled and he shook his hair out again. He rested his arms on the fence and looked at me innocently. “I told you…don’t be a stranger.”
“Strangers stalk; friends don’t,” I countered.
“Our kind stalks,” he grinned. “Everyone stalks; in one way or another.”
“I’m not the enemy,” he went on to explain defensively.
“Then what are you?” I asked, barely aware that I had moved towards him until I saw his blue eyes as clearly as I had that day in the field. He was so youthful looking and innocent in his attractiveness, but his message was always one of peril.
“Intrigued,” he replied. It was then that I heard his thoughts like I had before. He was locked in my mind and I was locked in his, like a magnet.
I marked you so you would never be alone, not when you’re in need. A chill wind blows. Something is coming…The night, as you are well aware, isn’t our exclusive domain.
Still locked together, he pulled from me all the things I wouldn’t say out loud: my fears and my memories. I betrayed Reece with my silent declaration of love for him, and I gave away the knowledge that the head of Haven’s pack had very recently passed. I tried to restrain the thoughts that were flowing so liberally. Tristan must have known because he began showing me his own thoughts.
He had left, just as he said he would, and he came back. He wanted me to know what he knew. His father, Vadim, had earned the right to be Alpha after my grandfather, Sergei. When Sergei had died the
clan had become disoriented and undisciplined. Vadim, although the strongest, didn’t have the confidence of my mother, Tanith, and Vadim was seen as weak because he lost her to a human. Vadim took his bitterness out on his mate, who became Tristan’s mother. Tristan’s mother, Danielle, resented mine and she also resented Vadim, whom she was not loyal to. I also saw Levi and Haven. Both of them were seduced by Danielle. I also saw Lacey. She was Tristan’s half-sister and was sent away with Levi, just as I had been told. Danielle felt a burning hatred and envy of my mother and sent Haven on a mission to kill her.
My knees started to buckle as the information flowed from Tristan to me. It was too much!
Haven found my mother, but something happened. He did not complete his mission and he did not return to his clan. Danielle sent three others and they succeeded. They were the same ones who tried to hurt me after the bonfire. I started to heave and suddenly I was conscious of the rain again.
“Why? Why are you here?! How could she?!” I shouted out loud.
“I don’t deny she’s done bad things,” he called out dangerously. “I’m here because I want the truth!”
“Who are you loyal to?” I shouted back. “That will go a long way in revealing what your motives are.”
“I’m loyal to no one,” he announced. “I’m loyal to my beliefs. You should know them. They were your grandfather’s.”
“Why did you really come?” I asked.
“Many reasons.”
“What about your mother?” I spat. “Is she going to get away with what she’s done?”
“You can love someone but disapprove of them,” he retorted defensively. “I’m loyal to the code and to what’s right. It’s not that I’m being disloyal to my family; it’s that they were disloyal to doing what’s right. I may have to do something about that, even if it means challenging my father.”
His eyes were no longer on me for he was looking towards the back of the house. I heard Anne call to me, “Willow, what on earth are you doing out here? Come in, now.”
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