As he picked the starting melody out, he let his frustration melt away. Playing music and reminiscing in the church seemed to be the only times he found some sort of peace within himself. He felt like a real person instead of a constantly churning bundle of questions related to every facet of his existence. Every element of his life was broken or worse, lost forever.
Why would the world aim to destroy a person so much without some purpose or meaning behind it?
Perhaps he was overthinking this, but he had a nagging feeling that there was so much more he didn’t know, and it was all there somewhere, just waiting to be discovered. The dream, his knowledge, and his instincts drove him to keep going, to find the reason why his life seemed cursed from the start. Despite everything, he’d made it this far. He was determined to find the answers he sought, no matter what.
When he dropped Shellie off, he held her chin and kissed her, slowly and tenderly. She was one of the very few people he trusted enough to share his feelings with, but there was still much that he kept to himself. He put his helmet back on and waited for her to close the front door before leaving the sleepy suburban neighborhood. The cool night air comforted him as he made his way down streets and highways. Going home was not an option just yet; he needed time to think. The day’s events weighed heavily on his mind; he knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep tonight. He found himself once more in front of the church as it sat in the shadow of the night.
He picked his way carefully through the trash and debris, awed by the beams of light that sparkled in the hallowed space. Odd shapes and shades of grey were scattered across the dust covered ruins. He sat in one of the pews, drinking in the stale musky air. The wooden seat creaked and moaned as he shifted his weight. Closing his eyes, it felt as if time had paused to take a breath with him. Nothing seemed urgent or pressing; instead, it seemed he had all of eternity to resolve his problems.
“I’ve been waiting for you, Hotan.”
Hotan’s eyes widened as fear knocked the air from his chest. Flashes of his nightmare came to him; he replayed dozens, no thousands of deaths. He wanted to run, but he couldn’t bring himself to blink or even take a breath.
“And here you are, right on time. You’ve walked right into the lion’s den.”
The dream has come true!
Jolting up from his seat, Hotan looked back at the entrance and met the wild glare of a large man. His voice failed him, his muscles locked him in place. Panic flooded into him as his gaze took in every detail of the man.
The broad-shouldered stranger had the bulk of a heavyweight fighter. Dreadlocks framed a maddening grin. He blocked the only exit Hotan knew of: This place of security had broken its oath to him; now it surrounded Hotan like a coffin.
A cold sweat dripped down Hotan’s temple as he watched the predator stalk its prey. Laughter boiled out of the beast-sized man as he drew closer. Hotan’s heart fluttered as his nightmare unfolded.
This can’t be real. This can’t be happening!
“I’ve searched for you for centuries. Now I can finally repay you for the hell you’ve put me through!” The man pulled out a large machete and swung it through the air, slicing the remnants of a marble statue with breathtaking rage. “I can finally take you down and end the curse with which you imprisoned my soul!”
“Who are you?” It was more of a desperate scream than a question. Hotan stumbled back, away from the stranger. But his heel slammed into a piece of marble and he toppled over backwards, filling the air with clouds of decades-old dust “How-how do you know my name?”
Am I really going to die here? Is this the end? I don’t want to die! Not like this, not without something good happening in my life first!
“Eh?” The man paused, dropping his machete slightly as his smile faded. “You don’t remember me?”
Panting, Hotan could only give the man a bewildered, terrified expression.
“Oh, that’s just peachy!” A devilish grin crawled across his face as a cruel, deep laugh spilled forth. “You won’t even put up a fight- your own spell will be the thorn in your side! Karma’s a bitch.”
“Please, I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Hotan shrieked, but the stranger laughed harder. “You must have the wrong person!”
Someone! Please help me!
“No, you wouldn’t know what I’m talking about.” He stepped closer to Hotan, towering above him like Death, his blade held high. “You haven’t awakened at all! Must be my lucky day. The fear pouring out of you is so sweet; I could drink from it all night.”
All Hotan could do was plead with the zealot, “Please! I don’t know what you’re talking about?”
“Hmm, where to cut you first?” The stranger ignored his outcry, smiling as he mused on, “Maybe I should start with your fingers and slowly work my way up the arms, what do you think, Hotan?”
Hotan’s eyes widened and his body felt like it was on fire. An intense heat filled him, spreading outward from his core. His terror shifted slowly into anger as he looked up into the eyes of his would-be killer. Body, mind, and soul felt unexpectedly complete, despite the warmth emanating from deep inside. Flames wafted up from a deep unknown. As it grew, he felt part of himself set to the side, ripping him from his moment of completeness. Someone else had taken the reigns.
Flecks of color began to appear as he glared into Geliah’s amber eyes. The sudden release of power had changed Hotan somehow. “Back off, Geliah. I will defend myself if you do not cease this nonsense.”
What is happening? Who else is here with me- who is speaking for me? This isn’t me. I don’t understand…
“You always were the party pooper, Hotan.” Sighing, Geliah’s wild grin vanished as he stepped back and allowed Hotan to stand. “This can’t be healthy for you. The fear I felt a moment ago was not yours- why endanger an innocent? Doesn’t seem like your style. What would your big brother have to say about-”
“Silence!” Hotan’s eyes had shifted to bright green, and black lines snaked across his body.
“Bah!” Geliah’s skin reacted in a similar manner, like a chameleon changing its skin “No offense, but I should have never been able to break that spell of yours.”
“Do not question matters beyond your comprehension.” Hotan’s jaw muscles twitched as he spoke, “My soul slumbers within this new body, for it has no place in this world anymore. You should have stayed asleep, Geliah of Fear.”
“You want me to tell you why your spell fell apart?” A wicked grin came across his face as he brushed back his dreadlocks.
Blue flames rose from Hotan’s skin as he glared at Geliah. “I am reborn. I no longer exist. Only my essence remains.”
“That’s all that’s left.” Geliah scoffed in disappointment. “I was hoping for a good fight.”
What are they talking about? This has to be another dream- I have to wake up!
“I would gladly give up the last of my life to save this child from my past mistakes.” Geliah ignored the heat of Hotan’s glare.
“A shame you feel that way. Let me end this last piece of you then!” Geliah gave a primal scream as he swung the machete. “Now die!”
“Stop!” Hotan’s voice echoed throughout the church as he caught the blade with bare hand. Glowering at Geliah, he tightened his grip on the blade.
Paling, Geliah had not expected him to catch it barehanded and unscathed. He took a step back, fearful of a counterattack.
The blue flames painting Hotan’s skin rose higher as rage filled his green eyes. The sword rusted and crumbled to the floor, leaving no mark on the hand with which he’d caught the blade’s edge. A massive flash exploded from Hotan, blowing Geliah off his feet. The shock wave pushed him across the marble floor and pinned him against the wooden doors. Another wave pulsed out, and as it touched the ruins of the church, it seemed as if a miracle was happening.
Missing marble materialized, its shine intact. Old woodcarvings appeared as if recently finished. Angelic statues held their once missing shie
lds in newfound limbs with pride. As the wave rolled across, it returned the church to the peak of its glory. The pulse of power receded, leaving the final repairs doused in blue flames.
Did that come from me or the other Hotan? How is this possible? This can’t be real. It can’t be!
Behind Hotan, Geliah watched as the stained glass window pulled itself back together. A large wooden cross rose again to its rightful place. The statue nailed to the wooden cross stared down at the two of them, passing judgment. They stared at one another as they convened in the unbroken cathedral. The sanctuary glowed in its newfound splendor as moonlight scattered the window’s many colors around the room. Geliah growled as he stood.
“Is that it? What a wasted display of power!” He snickered. “I didn’t come here to watch parlor tricks!”
“Geliah!” A new voice called from the front of the church.
Its owner was a tall, thin man with silver hair in a white business suit. His silver eyes held Geliah and Hotan in place as he walked towards them.
Another one? Where are these people coming from?
The new stranger cleared his throat. “You know what you are doing is forbidden. Did I not warn you that there would be consequences for such actions? Did I not tell you never to force awakening on anyone else?”
“Oh look, it’s the Vulture of Judgment.” Geliah’s jaw visibly clenched. “We both know you can’t pull power on me like before, Talib. Go pass your judgment someplace else.”
“I wish to make you an offer.” Talib straightened his tie a moment before glancing back at Hotan. He nodded. “You are looking for a good fight and the ability to settle a score. I will give you the chance to do that, but under my terms.”
It’s as if he knows what the offer will be. But who are these people? Why am I not in control of my body? This is all so surreal.
“You’ve got my attention.” Geliah raised an eyebrow. “What sort of a deal did you have in mind?”
“Give me one year to prep the young boy. If you kill him, you get what you desire, wiping all traces of Hotan off the earth. If you fail to kill him or if you break our deal, there will be a devastating punishment in store for you.”
Geliah considered the proposal- It certainly had its benefits. After a long moment of silence, he grunted.
Talib cocked his head. “Is this not what you want? A chance to kill Hotan without interruption?”
“Fine, it’s a deal.” Without further confrontation, Geliah slipped out of the newly repaired doors of the church.
ONE YEAR? TO FIGHT THAT? WAKE UP! WAKE UP! WAKE UP!
“Thank you, alef chet…” Hotan felt the thud of his body hitting the cold marble floor as darkness took him away.
Chapter Three
At first, the muffled sounds in Hotan’s ears came in the form of a tunneled shout down the longest hallway ever. There was no sense of time as he strained to focus on the words. Whoever it was, it sounded urgent and horrifyingly desperate. Shivering, the coldness his body felt did nothing to pull him from the frozen darkness he sat in. Something warm and wet hit his cheek.
Wiping it off his face, he opened his eyes, looking at the clear liquid in confusion. He rolled it between his fingers fascinated by it. More started to hit his face, like tears falling from invisible eyes. The voice had stopped yelling its words and simply sobbed. If these were not his tears, than whom did they belong to?
Who is crying? Why are they crying? What does that have to do with me? There’s no reason to cry over someone like me…
“HOTAN!” His heart skipped a beat when he heard the voice loud and clear. “Please! Wake up, Hotan!”
Shellie!
He struggled to gain the strength, still tangled in his dreamlike state; he tore himself from the pitch-black prison to truly open his eyes. As his vision regained its focus, he stared into the brightest green eyes. For the first time, he was seeing her eyes and face in full color. The emerald green of Shellie’s irises was phenomenal. They held small specks of gold that added to the rich earth tone of the green, but the tears falling from her flushed face made his heart ache. “Shellie?”
“Hotan! You’re awake! He’s awake!” She hugged him tight as her tears rained down on him. “What happened to you? I thought you were dead! You were so cold when I found you and I… Did someone do this to you? What happened?”
Attempting to sit up, the cathedral tilted and spun around Hotan as an agonizing pain filled his head. Looking back to Shellie’s distraught face, he watched as the colors melted away. The rosy peach tone of her skin, the natural pinkness of her lips; it was all fading away. His miracle had come and gone so quickly that he felt a throbbing in his chest. He opened his mouth to say something, but the words were lost in his sorrow. “I…”
“The ambulance should be here shortly, Shellie!” Kyle was shouting as he walked into the cathedral with Hisota close behind him. “Oh man, what a relief! He’s awake!”
“Jesus, he looks pale.” The surprised expression on Hisota’s face let Hotan know how bad his current state looked. “What in the hell were you doing?”
With the help of his friends, Hotan managed to sit down on a pew. His head was still spinning as he struggled to remember how he got there. Another wave of shivering crawled across his skin as the sounds of distant sirens drew near. It took all he had to focus his thoughts, but all he remembered was leaving Shellie’s house.
Looking up past his friends, he looked around, puzzled. “Where am I?”
“The church by the school… You don’t remember where you are?” Shellie’s words lingered in his thoughts as his stomach twisted into knots. They all looked at one another, concern increasing on their faces. Shellie continued, “You come here all the time, Hotan…”
The church? The broken place I come to all the time? Where I come to think? When… but this can’t be the same place? I must be dreaming…
“The… church?” Hotan’s eyes scanned over the clean bright marble, the unbroken stain glass window, and lastly, the breathtaking Crucifix statue on a wooden cross behind the podium. “But, this can’t be…”
When did someone renovate this place?
“How long have I been missing?” A surge of panic was flooding his mind as cold sweat raced down his back. “This isn’t how I remember it! This can’t be the same place! How long was I missing?”
“Well, I last saw you when you dropped me off last night.” Shellie sat next to him as he looked at her, baffled. “You seemed fine when you left.”
“When you weren’t at school, we were all really confused.” Kyle rubbed the back of his neck a moment. “So when none of us had heard from you today, we got worried and decided to look for you after school ended.”
“No offense, but in all the years I’ve known you, you’ve never called in sick.” Hisota huffed as the church doors opened and the paramedics rushed in. “Anyway, let’s have the experts take a look at you.”
Hotan struggled to concentrate on the questions the paramedics were asking him as they went about their work. The pressure of the cuff on his arm, the prick of the IV, and the forceful shove of the thermometer did nothing to disrupt his befuddled gaze. He was trying to take in every detail of the church in its current state.
This was the peak of the cathedral’s prime. The wood braces on the roof were each intricately placed and held unique carved scenes. The cedar pews were vibrant even through his grey-colored world. The shiny embellishments made each seat feel like a throne, confirming what he had speculated about the decor.
A gurney rolled in and with the help of the paramedics, he laid down on the rolling bed. Staring at the roof as they rolled him out, he witnessed not one cobweb on that ceiling. From his last memories, the rafters had barely been visible through the filth and spider webs.
The sunlight was blinding as he made his way to the ambulance. Squinting his eyes from the stinging white light, he continued to answer questions and reply to the information they were giving him. Nothing that he could
remember was assisting the paramedics in figuring out what had happened to him either. Hotan’s body ached, his head pounded, and worse off, he felt sick to his stomach.
What happened to me?
No memories or hints would present themselves to him. Frustrated he turned his focus on what was currently going on in the ambulance as it sped towards the hospital.
“So, where have you been this last week?” Hisota was leaning against Hotan’s locker as he approached. “You couldn’t call me and update me on how you were doing? I had to get my info from Kyle, or worse, Shellie the last several days.”
“Recovering.” Hotan twisted his mouth as he nodded for Hisota to move out of the way. “I heard you actually made it to the club over the weekend. What brought on that change of heart?”
“I’m not that big of a dick.” A smirk crawled across Hisota’s face as Hotan slammed his locker closed. “I know that’s your livelihood, and you’re going to need the money to pay the hospital bills, right?”
“Don’t remind me.” He glared at Hisota, trying to figure out what new angle he was trying to pull. “Does this mean you can play at the club as long as I’m not there?”
“Maybe.” Hisota raised an eyebrow as he lost his smile. “At least your girl is a half decent bassist, and Chaz had one of his guys play the guitar in your place. You’re welcome.”
“I’m not in the mood for this.” Breaking eye contact with Hisota, he stared into the bustling hallway of students.
I still don’t feel like myself. Last thing I need is to let my temper loose…
Sighing, Hotan bumped shoulders with Hisota as he passed. He disappeared into the crowded hallway, leaving Hisota standing at the lockers alone.
“HEY!” Kyle was bulldozing his way from the other direction. “HISOTA!”
“And here comes his majesty’s dog.” Hisota huffed under his breath as Kyle stopped, panting in front of him. “What on earth do you want?”
“I, I was wondering if Hotan made it back to school?” Finally catching his breath, Kyle stood up straight. “My classes are way on the other end and I was trying to catch him.”
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