by Ray Gorham
“I prayed for it more than Mom did,” Emma interjected in a sleepy voice. “Every night before bed I said my prayers and asked for God to bring you home. Mom said I needed to do that every day.”
Kyle rubbed Emma’s leg. “I prayed to make it home, too, sweetie, and it had been a long time since I’d said any prayers. I guess God got tired of hearing from us, huh?”
Emma nodded, her eyes barely open. “But He listened, didn’t He?”
Jennifer smiled at Kyle as he turned back to her. “Your daughter really missed you. I can see a change in her already.” Emma’s eyes closed. “This whole thing has been really difficult, Kyle. I know you’ve been through a lot, walking so far and somehow making it home. But being here every day, seeing our neighbors slowly die, being hungry most of the time, the weather getting colder, and the nights longer…” She shook her head. “It’s hard. Sometimes you just want to give up. I think a lot of people had gotten to that point. We had gotten too used to easy; hard is taking some adjusting.”
“Do you think we’re safe here?”
Jennifer nodded. She glanced at the fire, watching the flames swirl and dance. “We’re safer here than any place else I can think of. I think you’re the miracle we needed, both for our family and the community. You’ve reminded us of what a person can do if something is important to them, if they don’t let the impossible stand in the way.”
“I didn’t know what I’d find when I got here, Jenn. You can’t imagine how I felt when I found blood in the house.” Kyle wiped at his eyes. “But we survived. We’re together, and we’ll make it. I don’t know what it’s going to take, but we’ve got to promise that we’ll never give up. Okay?”
“I promise,” Jennifer said, her eyes still focused on the flames. “I don’t know what it’s going to take, but I promise.”
“David, do you promise?” Kyle asked his son.
“I promise, Dad. If you can make it home, we can do this.”
“How ‘bout you, Emma.”
Emma nodded, her eyes still closed. She mumbled faintly. “If David can do it, I can. I promise.”
Kyle glanced down at Spencer, who was sound asleep and breathing deeply. “How about you, Spence? Are you ready to face whatever comes?”
CHAPTER 2
Saturday, November 19th
Deer Creek, MT
Unable to sleep, Kyle lay on his back staring at the ceiling as he listened to the steady breathing of his family. Jennifer slept beside him on a hide-a-bed mattress laid out on the basement floor in front of the fireplace. Emma and Spencer slept on cushions from the couch that were placed on the floor beside the mattress, and David slept in the recliner, the same one he’d spent so many hours in recuperating from his stab wound.
Kyle’s mind drifted back over the previous eleven weeks. The fact that he was lying beside his wife, in Montana, with all three of his children alive and mostly well and in the same room was almost more than he could believe.
He was thrilled to be home, so thrilled he couldn’t sleep. It struck him that for the first time in almost three months he faced a day with no predefined purpose—no town or mile marker to get to before the sun set, no far off family that he was pushing himself to return to. The family was here. The walk was over. And now he wondered if the hard part was the journey he’d just survived or the unknown future ahead of him.
He watched the burned logs in the fireplace, the embers still glowing faintly orange. The room was beginning to chill, but firewood was limited, so Kyle resisted the urge to put another log on the fire. David had explained that while there was plenty of wood in the area, there were limited numbers of saws and axes available to cut and split it. Most of what they were burning at this point was deadfall that was thin and dry enough to break by hand, but once winter intensified, the denser, better wood would be essential.
Kyle rolled onto his side. The foam mattress, while adequate, reminded him of the countless semi-truck bunks he’d slept on over the past weeks, and he made a mental note to retrieve a better mattress from their house in the morning, once he was cleaned up. At least with that he’d have a purpose for the day.
Jennifer was silhouetted in the faint light from the fireplace, and Kyle reached out, putting his hand on her shoulder and giving it a light squeeze. Jennifer jerked and let out a shrill noise, breaking the heavy silence of the night. Before he could react, Kyle felt Jennifer striking him. “Get away from me!” she shrieked. “Get away!”
Kyle shielded his head with his arms and rolled off of the mattress. He heard David’s groggy voice and the recliner swing back into the sitting position. “Mom! What’s wrong?”
Kyle leapt to his feet, avoiding Emma and Spencer while trying to figure out what was wrong with his wife. “Jenn?” She had stopped yelling but was now gasping loudly. Forgetting about a short coffee table next to him, Kyle took a step backwards to give Jennifer more space and hit his leg on it, sending him tumbling over the table in the darkness. He fell with a dull thud, groaning as he hit the floor.
“Dad, was that you?” David asked. “Mom, are you alright? What’s going on?”
“Yeah, that was me, David,” Kyle said rubbing his elbow. “I don’t know what’s going on. Jennifer?”
Jennifer’s breathing had slowed. “What happened?” she asked.
“That’s what we’re trying to find out. You started yelling and hitting me. All I did was put my hand on your shoulder.”
“Kyle? I’m sorry.”
Kyle heard Jennifer start to cry. “Is there a light or something we can turn on?”
“Just an old flashlight, but it’s pretty much dead,” David answered. “I can put more wood on the fire if you want, but it will take a few minutes to catch.”
Carol called out from up the stairs. “Everything okay down there?”
“I think we’re okay. Not sure what happened, but I think we’re fine,” Kyle answered. He crawled around the table to where Jennifer sat on the floor. “Can I touch you?”
“Yes,” Jennifer said in a voice that was barely audible.
“Do you want me to put more wood on the fire?” David asked.
“I think we’ll be okay without it. Spencer, Emma, you guys awake?”
There was a sleepy “uh huh.” Kyle couldn’t tell who it was.
“Sorry we woke you up. Mom just had a bad dream, I think. Go back to sleep.” Jennifer was shaking, and Kyle wrapped his arms around her. “Jenn, what’s wrong? I’ve never seen you like this. Are you okay?”
Jennifer rubbed Kyle’s arm and laid her head on his shoulder. “You scared me; that’s all. Not used to having a man in my bed I guess. Can we just forget about it?”
“You just want me to forget this?” Kyle released his wife and leaned back, trying to read her expression in the inky blackness. His right arm still tingled from the fall, and he flexed his fingers to work out the pain. “I suppose we can for now, as long as you promise not to beat on me again.” Jennifer let out a weak laugh, but Kyle noticed a glint of light reflect off her cheek.
Jennifer dabbed at the tear. “I’ll try, but I don’t know if I can promise you that, at least not yet. Give me time.” She spoke in short, halting sentences, fighting to control her emotions.
Kyle took her hand in his and caressed it. “This has something to do with what happened in our house, doesn’t it? This is why you won’t go back home.”
“Kyle, I’m so sorry. It’s just…” her emotions overwhelmed her, and she began to sob uncontrollably.
“Jennifer,” Kyle said, leaning in close. He wrapped his arms around his wife and held her tight. “Jennifer, please. It’s okay. Don’t apologize.”
“But… it shouldn’t…be like… this, Kyle,” she sobbed. “It’s your first night home, and I’m a basket case. I’m sure this isn’t what you expected, or what you deserve after all you’ve been through.”
“Jennifer. Stop. It’s okay.” He pulled her gently down on the mattress and drew the blanket over her shoulders. �
�It’s getting cold. Let’s just try and go back to sleep. I’m already forgetting what happened, just like you asked.”
“You thought you were coming home to a normal, stable wife, didn’t you?”
Kyle brushed away the strands of Jennifer’s hair that rubbed against his face and kissed her on the forehead.
Jennifer drew back a bit. “You thought you were coming home to a normal wife, didn’t you?” Her tone was more urgent.
“I didn’t know what I would be coming home to.” He paused to reflect. “I went eleven weeks with no contact, in a world screwed up beyond recognition. I didn’t know what to expect. It was total hell.”
“Are you disappointed with us? With me?”
“No! Never! Don’t ever think that. Today was the best day of my life. I can’t describe how happy I am to be home with you and the kids. I’ve walked fifteen hours a day for two and a half months, with next to no one to talk to except myself. That gives a person too much time to think. I hoped everything would be perfect and imagined things would be normal, with no problems, but then I would catch myself thinking about far worse outcomes, too. It was a long walk.”
“Did you forget mom had me here to take care of her?” David asked, his voice bright and alert.
“Are you listening in on us?” Kyle asked, trying to see David in the darkness. “We’re trying to have a private conversation here.”
“You’re ten feet away. Mom woke up in the middle of the night yelling, and you flipped over a table, and I’m supposed to fall back asleep in two minutes?”
“Well, no, it’s just dark, and I forgot you were there. Your sister went right back to sleep.”
“No I didn’t; I’m still awake.” Emma’s voice was soft, but alert too.
“You listening in on us, too?”
“I’m not trying to, but you’re just right there, talking.”
Kyle shook his head. “Spencer?”
“What, Dad?”
“Nothing, bud. Just checking.” Kyle laughed. “I may as well have the video camera recording this for posterity.”
“Camera doesn’t work,” Emma piped up.
“Thanks for the information, little girl.” Kyle could hear Jennifer giggle beside him, and he laughed, too. “A thousand hours walking, and I can’t say that I pictured my first night home like this. And in response to your question, David, I didn’t forget you were here to take care of your mother. I knew you were, and you exceeded my expectations.”
“Thanks. Hey, wait. Was that a compliment? At first I thought it was nice, but now I’m not sure.”
Kyle smiled. “Let’s just say, my son who lived for video games, music, and friends has made his father unbelievably proud, as has his sister and little brother. Now how about we try and get some sleep. The sun will be up early.”
“No it won’t.” Emma said. “Night lasts forever. I always wake up before the sun comes up.”
“Okay, fine,” Kyle said, trying not to laugh. “How about we just try and get some sleep? Good night, everyone.”
“Good night,” they replied, nearly in unison.
Kyle pulled Jennifer tight against him, feeling her shiver as he did so. He moved his mouth close to her ear and whispered. “You’re the most beautiful, wonderful, amazing woman a man could want. There is nothing about you I’d change, except for maybe what you’re wearing. I had pictured something a little sexier than sweatpants.”
“That’s sweet, Dad, but we’re not deaf. We can still hear you.” David said, fighting to suppress a laugh.
“Yep. We sure can,” Emma added. “You can hear everything at night, like Spencer, when he farts all the time. It’s disgusting.”
“I do not fart all the time, Emma. Don’t say that.”
Kyle heard Spencer hit his sister.
“Kids!” Jennifer said, nearly shouting. “I am really sorry I woke you up, but it’s probably well after midnight. I don’t want to kill any of you, so to prevent that, how about everyone quiet down and go back to sleep. Agreed?”
There was a murmur of agreement, and the room became still once again.
CHAPTER 3
Saturday, November 19th
Deer Creek, MT
The day was overcast and cold, but that didn’t deter the steady stream of well-wishers from dropping by to welcome Kyle. Word had spread quickly through the small community and surrounding homes, and Kyle’s return, after such an amazing journey, had given him a quasi-celebrity status in the few hours he’d been home. Finally, after recounting his trip home for the ninth time before lunch, Carol hung a note on the front door explaining that Kyle was exhausted from his trip, but that he would share his experiences with everyone at the community meeting the next day.
With the visits halted and Kyle no longer feeling like he needed to spend every minute at Jennifer’s side, Kyle began to address his hygiene needs. An extended bath was followed by a haircut, after which Jennifer’s sewing scissors were put to good use on his beard. A trip to his house to gather the rest of his clothing had Kyle dressed in familiar clothes and feeling human by dinnertime.
Seated in a patio chair on the front porch, Kyle heard the front door open and looked up to see Jennifer motioning for Spencer to come in. “Looks like it might snow,” Kyle said, indicating a front of clouds moving in from the West with a dip of his head.
Jennifer nodded. “It’s got that chill. We’ve only had one big dump so far, plus a couple of skiffs of snow some mornings. Hope winter isn’t in any kind of a rush to get here.” She followed his gaze. “What are you looking at?”
“I don’t know. Just looking. A part of me feels like I should be moving on. That’s what I’ve been programmed to do for so long. It’ll take me a few days to get back to normal, whatever that is. Carol’s been nice to let you stay here; how long do you think we’re welcome?”
“When we moved over, she didn’t put a time limit on it. Seemed to indicate we should just plan on staying. Why?”
“That was before I showed up. She doesn’t know me, so who knows how long this will work.”
“Where do you think we should be?”
“At our house. Most of our stuff is still there. Seems kind of silly to be hauling things this direction.”
Jennifer’s back stiffened. “You’re thinking about moving back home?”
Kyle nodded. “If you give me a couple of days, I’ll have things cleaned up good. I’ve been thinking about it. That’s our home, Jenn. It doesn’t seem right for us to not be there.”
“You don’t think I could’ve cleaned the blood stains?” Jennifer looked at Kyle, incredulous. “I’m not afraid of scrubbing the walls or the carpet. It’s not the blood.” Jennifer shuddered. “I came to tell you dinner’s ready. It’s beef stew. Let’s eat, it should be good.”
CHAPTER 4
Wednesday, November 23rd
Deer Creek, MT
Kyle walked south, along the bank of the small creek from which the community got its name. The creek was at its smallest size this time of year, a slow trickle barely four feet across at the wider points. The channel itself, which had been cut over the centuries, was over thirty feet wide and a good eight feet below where Kyle walked. Water flow was steady and reliable, but because the creek emerged from the valley directly into the Shipley Ranch and through their cow pastures, the water was unsuitable for most everything but irrigation. Still, with the steady supply of water, the vegetation in the creek bottom and along the banks flourished, and the creek was lined with tall trees, including native pines and firs, along with a variety of maples, cottonwoods, poplars and fruit trees that had been planted by the residents who owned the surrounding land.
The thick vegetation was inviting to wildlife, and while raccoon and beaver were a nuisance year round, deer, antelope, and the occasional elk also made appearances in the winter. Black bears were also known to be in the vicinity, and many of the long-term residents had at least one tale to tell of encountering a wandering bear during their time in D
eer Creek. Kyle and his family had walked along the creek a few times the previous summer, but had yet to see any of the larger wildlife.
It was the stories of bear sightings that explained the pistol strapped to his waist, but the purpose of the day’s journey was to try and bag dinner for Thanksgiving. With his twelve gauge slung across his back, Kyle was heading south into the mountains in search of turkey, if he could find it, or pheasant, if no turkeys could be found.
It had been daylight for forty-five minutes, but the sun was yet to clear the mountains to the west, and the air still held the crisp, icy chill that was common for November. In the few days since his homecoming, the weather had been cold and snowy for a couple of days before warming up to the upper 40’s, leaving the ground sloppy and muddy. Most of the snow had melted off the day before, but this morning it was cold, and Kyle’s breath was visible as he walked.
A path led to the creek bottom, and Kyle followed it. He crossed the creek on a fallen log before tracing the path back up the far bank. The barbed wire fence marking the north boundary of the Shipley Ranch was just ahead, and Kyle slipped through, briefly snagging his jacket on the wire before tugging loose. As he continued south along the creek bank, he could see a half-dozen men attacking large, round bales of hay with pitchforks, then hauling the loose feed to the fields where it was quickly consumed by the hungry and impatient herd.
Kyle waved to the foreman as he crossed the pasture. David would soon be working on the ranch again, his position held for him by Mr. Shipley while he fully recovered from his stab wound. Kyle had added his name to the list of people willing to work at the ranch, but currently there were more available hands than work to be done, so he was currently without a job.
The morning before he’d gone to his old home to continue salvaging items that would be useful in their new residence at Carol’s, followed by an afternoon of feeling cooped up, making today’s jaunt a welcome relief. Ten weeks of walking had gotten Kyle so used to being active that the past few days of hanging around the house, despite the joy of being home, had made him antsy and uncomfortable.