by Blue, Jayne
“No, The Saints won’t hurt you, but The Hawks don’t need another reason to want to kill you.”
I felt a cold shiver run up and down my spine. The decision to cut ties with Kade hurt me, and it was going to keep hurting. But the life Maddox was talking about, that I’d seen, that terrified me.
“Thanks, Maddox.”
“Take care of your cargo, take your time. When you’re done, we’re going to be gone.”
I wanted to get out of the sphere of all of this, to find some control.
“You don’t have to tell me twice to take care of my animals.”
I put blinders on to Maddox, Ftizie, and Machop, and zoned in on my new set of traumatized animals. I couldn’t do a damn thing about the last two days, but I could help these dogs. That might be all I could do, but I did it well.
“Stay safe Curly,” I heard Maddox say as I turned my back on him.
I waved as I walked back to my truck, but from then on I stopped looking too closely at anything connected with The Dark Saints.
Like Maddox promised, within thirty minutes, my truck was ready, restored, and showing no signs of what had happened.
The rest of my trek home was mercifully normal. I stopped the bare minimum and I made it back to Ruff Life with no more drama.
Ruff Life. That was my salvation, my mission, and now the organization itself would need rescue.
I was bereft without Kade, but I’d made my decision. To be near him was to be in proximity to a range of things that I couldn’t take, and didn’t want to.
I had a new set of animals to find homes for, I had a non-profit that had been run into the ground, and whose founder was now six-feet underground, or something equally as awful.
I pulled into the back of the Ruff Life building. It was situated just outside of downtown Port Az. I guess it wasn’t the best neighborhood, but it had become my home over the last year.
I didn’t want to leave it. I wondered if what Maddox said was true. Was I in danger from all the Hawks now?
I decided that I wasn’t going to live in fear of that. I wasn’t going to be stupid, or reckless, but I also wasn’t going to live life hiding in a corner. I’d faced a lot as a kid and hell, a lifetime of challenges just in the last few days.
My heart wanted to crawl in bed, eat ice cream, and cry. My body wanted Kade to hold. But I knew my will was stronger than my heart and body. My will was my gift, and I was going to use it to make Ruff Life whole.
I was going to be sure the dogs we served and the families we made would go on.
I opened the back of the truck to the innocent eyes of my new set of animals. There was a lot of work ahead, healing these babies, finding money, healing myself. But it was work I’d trained a lifetime for.
The back doors of Ruff Life opened up and the other two staffers of Ruff Life greeted me.
“How’d it go?” said Tracy Plumb, who was sweet, young, and in love with animals. She was like some sort of Snow White, and she helped me love these babies through to the next level. She came out and hugged me. She was more like a sister than a co-worker. I was so glad she hadn’t come with me on this run; she always wanted to, but there was always so much to do here. She would have seen way more than Snow White should see!
Jared Ruiz followed right behind her. He was in the vet program and working for Ruff Life as he finished school. While we worked on their behavior, Jared worked on their health: shots, spaying, nutrition, and everything we needed to be sure the animals we placed were whole.
He was shy around people but so confident with the dogs that it was like he spoke their language.
“It went well. I’ve got pictures of all our new families. You should have seen Tookie and the Lovitts. It was so sweet.” I blocked out Kade getting Tookie to go to them. I had to keep doing that: blocking out Kade.
“Oh, I knew they’d be so perfect for her!” Tracy said, and she followed me to the back of the truck.
“Let’s see what we’ve got,” Jared said.
“Hi, Harlow, how are you?” I teased him.
“Oh, yeah, sorry, hi,” he said. Talking to humans was a chore for him and I loved that about him.
“Go on…” I put my hand out to usher him to the crates.
“Looks like we’ve got a few malnourishment issues here, and let’s be really quiet with this one, and…” I listened as he quickly triaged our new group.
Tracy, Jared, and I worked together in harmony. Rudy Walls, our founder, wasn’t missed. He’d always just handled money and P.R. anyway.
We were going to get these puppies healthy and placed, and then do it again, and again. And I was going to try to forget the man in leather who’d made me feel things I didn’t know I could.
I was going to immerse myself in my mission, in these dogs, in making sure Ruff Life went on.
I was going to try to stop my heart from wanting someone, something, that I knew made no logical sense.
17
Kade
Church. Dark Saints were the congregation, and the seats around the table were our pews.
It was where we decided everything: where brothers were initiated into the MC, where plans were devised, where orders were given and, sometimes, where dark decisions were made.
It was time for Church. It was time to put everything right when it came to Harlow and the cake assignment I’d been given.
It had been a day since I’d dropped off the guns to Ricardo Pilar’s cartel.
Pilar was in jail, thanks to the Port Az Police, but others in his organization had risen to power in his absence. They were still a major player in the drug trade all around Port Az. It was Dark Saints’ business to know where The Cartel was and why.
We’d had trouble with Pilar’s people lately, but this gun shipment had mended a little of that.
He wasn’t our ally, but we could work together if it were to our mutual benefit. The Cartel was happy to pay for guns and piss off the Hawks at the same time.
As for The Saints, well, we were flush with new cash, but also new blood had been spilled, and our enemies had new reasons to be so.
Depleting the Hawks and strengthening a fence with The Cartel was a brilliant plan. The only casualty for our side had been my heart. From the moment Harlow had walked away from me, it had felt like a big price to pay.
Bear pounded the gavel.
“So, you want to explain yourself?”
That was his open, and it was aimed straight at me.
“We’ve got $250,000 in the offshore account, and we got Hawks guns off the streets at Port Az. We also have a very happy Cartel, for today at least.”
“We also haven’t gotten any fresh heat from the Feds. I check in with Marco Rivas, and he said this skirmish with The Hawks didn’t trip any wires with them. It was all in Mexico, and that’s the good news.”
Rivas was a U.S. Attorney we’d done favors for and who gave us a heads up when Saints or Hawks business had attracted attention we didn’t want.
“Now for the shit. How many dead Hawks?” Bear spat out the last part in disgust. He hated when things didn’t go like he planned. And he thought he’d planned this job perfectly. But he hadn’t, not by a mile.
“I believe the count is now five? Including Talon who was sergeant-at-arms of his club. Rank, Kade. You fucking killed rank of the Devil’s Hawks. For what, pussy?”
That was E.Z. stepping in to make shit ugly.
“Jesus, E.Z. It’s not that simple. We need to own up.”
That was Axle. If E.Z. was the evil side of the club, Axle was the good. He knew how this went wrong; he knew, from very recently in fact, how the heart could change the will of a Saint.
Some days it was easy to see why my Aunt Rosario had left E.Z.’s ass all those years ago. It was great for her, as I’d just seen. She was happy, thriving even, but E.Z. was as bitter as a man could be. I wondered if that’s what was going to happen to me.
“Why don’t you let Kade speak for himself,” Bear said. I k
new he’d be a dick about this. Mama Bear had warned me he was on a tear when she patched up my shoulder.
“I’m happy to. I followed the truck, as assigned. What was not to plan was the driver. She was an innocent woman, who was very interesting in a hundred ways to The Hawks.”
“So?” Bear pushed me to continue.
“They tried to kill her animals, rape her, and murder her. I wasn’t going to let that happen. And I won’t.”
“Where is she now?” Benz asked. He and Axle felt shitty for not knowing who was driving that rig. They’d told me so repeatedly on our way to the gun drop off. But it was water under the bridge. They didn’t set up this deal. Bear did.
“Back at her work.” Maddox stepped in with that answer.
Bear sat back in his chair for a moment and took a few deep breaths. The room was quiet. I didn’t know where this was going, but if it lasted much longer, I was going to lay out my plans.
“I’m not happy about The Hawks. You all know they’re going to strike back hard. Sooner rather than later. But I admit that Rudy screwed us over. I wanted this deal to work fast, and I should have watched him closer. That girl got the brunt of that mistake. I’m sorry about the girl, Kade. You were in a bad spot. That’s on me.”
Bear was a big man, in all ways, and many times it meant he was hard to turn around. It meant his roots were set. But he looked me in the eye with that statement. And he reminded me why I would be a Saint forever.
It felt like a weight was lifted, at least on a part of me. I felt like my club was going to be on board for what I wanted.
I nodded in acceptance of how much he’d just given me.
“Here’s what I need. Number one, I want Ruff Life to get this gun money so its work can go on. And two, we can’t just let Harlow twist in the wind. She needs protection.”
“She’s not going to allow it,” Maddox said.
“She doesn’t need to know. But we need to do it. Hawks are going to come at her hard.”
“They’re going to come at all of us,” Chase chimed in.
“Let ‘em,” Bear said.
“All in favor of Kade’s plan?”
“Aye.” The room was unanimous. We had made a mess of Harlow’s life, but I had my brothers by my side to fix it any way I could.
She would never know it, but The Saints would be her guardian angels for as long as I lived. It was the least we could do for what we’d put her through.
18
Harlow
It had been three months since I’d brought the dogs over from Mexico. They were mostly adopted. Except one, Sally.
Sally was small, and she was deaf. She needed patience and maybe a household with another dog who could help shepherd her around.
I knew just the people, and luckily, they were coming for a visit.
Three months ago Ruff Life had received a donation that had changed everything. We’d been scraping by, barely able to keep the lights on after I got back from Mexico.
As far as the staff knew, our founder was off on some kind of “find himself” mission and had left us for good to run the operation. And we did, but it was by the skin of our teeth.
Until the donation came in. The donor wanted to remain anonymous, the lawyer said. We got nearly $300,000 for Ruff Life to be spent how the director, me, saw fit. I quizzed the lawyer, but he wouldn’t tell me who had been so kind.
“I can only say the benefactors said I should contact them if you ever had a Chihuahua that you had difficulty placing. They’d step in. But of course, still anonymously.”
Tookie! It had to be the Lovitts.
With the money that the Lovitts donated I did some repairs, bought new supplies, and even hired a new part-time employee. Ruff Life now had a new camera and lighting to make our videos so our puppies could be the true stars that we knew they were.
I was building something here, something better and stronger than what Rudy Walls started. And I was proud of it.
I’d never erase the memory of the innocent animals that my Dad hurt, but I knew I was doing everything for the animals I could help.
I walked into the kennel area and over to the second row of crates. We had a pretty full house right now. I’d be making a run soon.
But there was one puppy I wanted to spend a little time with.
I’d named her Tally. It wasn’t until later I realized that it was because I couldn’t get the name Tahalina out of my mind.
I’d been busy, motivated, and challenged. I filled every second of my days and nights with Ruff Life, but still, Kade’s story and my memories of him found their way into my life, every night and day.
So, Tally, it was. She was so sweet but a handful. Her deafness put her at high risk. She couldn’t hear cars or commands. She wasn’t able to respond to danger. She needed a special family, and there just wasn’t one that was right.
Then the Lovitts arranged a visit. They wanted to see Ruff Life and they were bringing Tookie along.
And that’s when I knew it was time to thank them, and maybe, find a new home for Tally.
“We love our Tookie so much! We just had to stop in when we were coming through Port Az.”
They had Tookie dressed like a princess! She rode in style in a special car seat and had a designer purse for excursions just like this. I laughed out loud to see her Highness!
And I was bursting with love for the Lovitts.
We hugged and seeing them restored my faith in humans. They’d taken in Tookie and had changed the future of Ruff Life and the dozens of animals we were now helping.
“I thought you’d like to meet Tally.” I brought Tally out, and they oohed and ahhed over her.
“Such a pretty girl!”
“She’ll make a wonderful addition to your family, I think.”
The Lovitts looked perplexed at that.
“What?”
“Well, the lawyer said if I had a Chihuahua to place and then… your donation. I let him know that Tally was in need, and now you’re here!”
“You thought we were here to get a new puppy?” Sandy Lovitt looked distressed all of sudden.
Don Lovitt stepped in.
“Ah, unfortunately, it is just the opposite.”
“What?”
“Sandy isn’t feeling well, and we just can’t keep Tookie anymore,” Don said, and I heard a sniffle from Sandy.
“It’s worse than not feeling well I’m afraid.” It was only then that I noticed Sandy was much thinner, and that she had dark circles under her eyes. Whatever was wrong was serious.
“We love Tookie so much, but we can’t give her the care she needs, so...” Don said. He put the car seat, the purse, and a box full of Tookie’s accessories on the counter.
“Whatever you need me to do for you. Your donation has made our work possible for the last three months.”
“What?” Don asked, looking confused by my gratitude.
“The money changed everything for us.”
“Honey, we couldn’t give you any money. Everything we have is going to my treatment right now.” Sandy was in near tears, and I reached out to hug her.
“Well, however, we got it, I’m just glad to see you too, you three,” I reassured them quickly.
Don kissed Tookie on the head and then Sandy took her.
“You’ll find another home. We’ll always love you,” Sandy said, tears in her eyes.
“This is taking a lot out of her. We probably need to get going so she can rest,” Don said to me and gingerly handed Tookie over. I now had both Tookie and Tally in my arms.
“Of course. Please get well soon.”
They hustled out of Ruff Life as fast as they could manage. I understood that. Sometimes leaving fast was the only way I could let go of the animals I’d grown to love while I fostered them.
Tookie began to whine.
“It’s okay, baby, it’s okay.”
But the whining didn’t stop.
I put her in with Tally. For the first time, I appreci
ated that she couldn’t hear. But the whining continued all day.
“I don’t want to leave her here.”
Jared had looked at Tookie and determined she had a case of a broken heart, but otherwise, she was okay. But she didn’t drink or eat the entire day.
“I’d take her home, but I’ve got an exam tomorrow.”
“It’s okay, Jared. You’ve done enough.”
I decided Tookie would come with me. I closed up Ruff Life and ensured our night assistant was set. The money we had meant we could keep staff here round the clock. I wondered who the hell had done this for us.
I had been so sure it was the Lovitts. I wondered if it was a mystery I’d ever solve.
I gathered Tookie from Tally’s crate, and then Tally began to cry.
“You too?” I asked her and scooped her up. The two little girls were only happy in their misery together, it appeared.
I resigned myself to having both dogs at my house for the night. It was easier than the stress of worrying about them here.
I got two little leashes and set out for the short walk home. I lived a block away, and with no car and abundant animals to walk, it was for the best to make the trip on foot every day.
I had them sorted and generally walking in the right direction as the sun set over Port Az.
I was focused on the two pups. Maybe that’s why I let my guard down. A car rolled up next to me and quickly stopped. I was startled as a man in leather jumped out and blocked my path. I looked behind me, and another man was standing there.
Tookie started to growl immediately, and she wasn’t wrong. Devil’s Hawks. I didn’t know them by name, but their patches were familiar to me now.
“Get out of my way.”
“Not fucking likely.”
I took a step back, and the man grabbed the leashes out of my hands and threw them to the sidewalk.
“What are you doing?”
I was scared for the dogs; they were too little to fend for themselves.
“They aren’t coming with us.” I took another step back. I had no choice but to try to yell, to run.