“Stop! Back up!”
The shout came from Jody, up on her knees looking out the back window, craning her neck back and forth between the front seat and the rear window.
“Stop the car now,” she commanded, and Susie did exactly that, pulling the car to the side of the road.
“It’s Gretta,” Jody cried, opening the door and jumping out, running back in the direction of the two walkers.
Shauna had been ready to run into the woods when the big luxury car had suddenly stopped, but her fear was tinged with curiosity, and the need to get a ride. She stared at the tall, wild looking girl running down the road at them, wondering where this was going.
“Gretta, what the hell are you doing out here?” Jody was calling, laughing. She came to a stop in front of the pair, breathing hard from her jog, a smile on her face. Shauna saw the others getting out of the car and starting back toward them.
“Jody? Oh girl, you don’t know how happy I am to see you,” Gretta cried, the relief genuine in her voice. She threw her arms around the redhead, the two hugging like long-lost sisters.
“Was that your car back up the road?” Jody asked.
“Yep, we ran out of gas, I think. It quit, and we didn’t know what to do. You don’t have any extra gas, do you?”
The others had arrived, standing around self-consciously, not sure what to say. The contact with blacks had been minimal for each of the parochial school kids, and there remained a deep curiosity tinged with the stigma of black stereotyping in each of their minds.
Jody made the introductions, explaining her friend’s dilemma.
“How about you come with us, we’re gonna drink a couple of beers at the lake and then we’ll run you back into town and get some gas and bring you back,” Andy said, looking at Susie for confirmation.
The girl had a doubtful look on her face, but she ceded to Andy, who looked as though he didn’t want any argument. And besides, they were Jody’s friends. She just hoped her dad never found out. Oh Christ, stop being such an elitist, she chided herself, chuckling. I’m starting to be my parents, and that’s my worst nightmare.
“Sounds like a plan,” Susie finally agreed, the group walking back up the road, Jody and Gretta jabbering at each other, Shauna staying close to the pair, the rest of the group bringing up the rear.
Rod watched the two strangers as he trailed behind, not sure how to act. Except for ball games, he had been around few blacks in his life. He was feeling shy, an unnatural emotion for him. When he had made his recruiting trip to IU, it had been the white players who had entertained him during the weekend. He had met the black players, but had noticed that the two groups had not mingled except when involved with football related activities. He watched the easy way that Jody interacted with her black friend. Rod had never been attracted to a black girl, had never really known one, but he had to admit, this girl Gretta was pretty hot.
The other girl, Shauna, was walking next to Gretta. She was slightly taller and equally as attractive, but without the sexual aura that Gretta exuded, somehow more serious looking. At the car, Gretta got into the back seat with Jody while Shauna got into the front, Andy sliding across next to Susie. Andy noticed that the girl made as much room as possible between them.
The park was deserted, dark and foreboding, the full moon the only illumination, shining brightly off of the black water. On most summer nights, there would be several carloads of kids partying, bonfires blazing and radios blaring music through the air. And there would be plenty of beer being passed around.
“Man, this place is dead," Susie Hall said, slowing the car down. "I've never seen it like this. It's kind of creepy without anyone around."
“It beats the hell out of our parent’s party...I'm burnt out on farewell parties, now it's time to just say see ya later and be gone," Andy said. "God, that banner...I don't think I've ever been that embarrassed in my life.
"I think it's killing our parents knowing they won't be the hotshots around Tower next year. They milked that for all that it was worth,” Rod added.
“So, do you guys want to stop here or go get these girls some gas?" Susie asked, changing the subject, her tone leaving no doubt that she would prefer to leave, buy some gas for the two girls they had found stranded by their stalled vehicle, and continue the party in the comfort of somebody's home.
Tammy's voice from the back seat sounded desperate, the girl not willing to leave before the party even started. "We got all this beer, let's build a fire and drink it before we go back to town."
"Yeah, we're here, we might as well stay. Anyway, it looks like a perfect night for ghost stories," Andy joked, and without any forthcoming support, Susie pulled up to one of the nearby picnic areas and parked her car, turning the lights off and leaving the group in darkness.
"No scary shit," Susie stated, her voice leaving no doubt to her sincerity. "I promise, one ghost story and I leave, with or without you guys."
"C'mon Rod, let’s find some firewood," Andy said as the kids piled out of the Lincoln, Susie popping the trunk so that the boys could grab the beer. Jody handed the cooler out of the back-seat, jumping out after it.
The two girls who had been rescued from their out-of-gas vehicle stood apart from the others, not yet comfortable around the five white teenagers, their skin color just one of many variances between the two groups, Jody their only link.
"Oh hell, Gretta, if we're staying, you might as well loosen up, nobody's going to bite you," Jody chided, pulling her friend by the arm toward the camp sight. Gretta smiled, her white, even teeth shining in the moonlight. She turned and grabbed Shauna's arm, the two black girls moving to join the rest of the group. Everyone was scrambling to find makeshift seats of logs and rocks around the fire site.
"Wonder if Rod and Andy even know how to build a fire," Tammy mused sarcastically. "They probably never did anything like this before. If it doesn't have a ball, bat, or hoop involved they're lost."
"Hey, athletes aren't all morons," Susie said, taking offense at the reference to sports.
"They better figure it out pretty quick, it's dark out here," Tammy said, looking around the lake, not seeing even a hint of life. Tammy had been to the lake on numerous occasions over the past three years, parking with her dates, and on one occasion spending a completely forgettable night with a boy there, sleeping in a single sleeping bag, telling her mother she was with Susie and Jody.
The boys returned quickly, each with an armful of wood scraps which they dumped into the rock enclosed fire area. They disappeared again, returning shortly with several good sized pieces which they placed in the center.
"Anybody got a lighter?" Rod asked, once the boys had the campfire ready to light. "I think I could do it by rubbing two sticks together, but it might be morning before it ignites."
"I think maybe I have some matches in my purse," Gretta said, and walked back to the car, opened the door, and grabbed her purse. She returned, holding a book of matches out to the boy. Rod took them, struck the match and lit the kindling, the fire catching easily, suddenly illuminating the area, making the rest of the kids feel a bit more secure.
"You guys surprise me, where'd you learn to build a fire that well?" Tammy asked, this time minus the sarcasm in her tone.
"Something left over from church camp, I think," Andy said. "I knew those summers would come in handy." The fire was roaring, sending sparks into the air, the wind beginning to kick up, the smoke swirling in the breeze. Quickly the mood turned from fright and uneasiness to one of fun. Beers were opened and passed around, the conversation turning to plans for the upcoming year, and an easy air of fellowship overtook them. Every now and then, one of the kids would stand and throw a stick or log on the fire, the empty beer cans stacked in a pile so that when they left, the trash could be disposed of.
The party was on, just as the stranger in the woods knew it would be. As he peered through the foliage, glancing from one face to the next, he couldn't help but appreciate the youthful exub
erance of the group. His gaze moved slowly around the circle, concentrating on each face, putting off the discovery as an addict might put off his next jolt of habit. He finally found the face of the one he had come for, his gaze riveting, his breath stopping momentarily.
Oh, I've come a long way for you, child, he told himself. As he stared at the youth, a smile appeared on his face, his head nodding slightly, the choice, made by those much wiser, a good one.
Not long now, he whispered. Not long at all.
Sitting back on a log, the traveler made himself as comfortable as possible, listening to the chatter from the campsite, waiting for the right moment, the moment to collect his charge and take leave of this place.
16
Gretta was having no trouble fitting in with the others, her natural cheeriness all she needed to break the ice. Shauna was a bit more distant, uncomfortable but slowly warming to the friendliness of the group. Looking around, listening to the other's talk about their futures, she was amazed at how easy they accepted their wealth, these white kids talking about the great colleges they were enrolled in, their futures mapped out for them. Notre Dame, Annapolis, Indiana, State, Texas. Her mind was agog with the affluence of this group, the manner that they accepted it, almost as if they took it for granted.
No, they did take it for granted. My gosh, she thought, that girl Susie is H. Tucker Hall's daughter. H. Tucker Hall, the president of Turner Steel. And I've seen both of those boy's pictures in the paper a bunch of times.
"Did you graduate this year?" Susie was asking Gretta.
"Yeah, we both did," Gretta answered, nodding toward Shauna. "From Mailer. You don't know how good it feels to be out of that hell-hole. It's bad, real scary these days. It wasn't like that when we first started. They got metal detectors and armed guards now...when the first bell rings they lock all the doors, locking everyone inside until lunch time. And they have drug dogs patrolling the hallways and locker rooms. It's bizarre."
"Are you going to college?" The question was from Andy, who was warming to the two girls.
"I wish I could, I really do, but my grades sucked, and my family doesn't have the money," Gretta said. "Wishes don't always come true, do they. Heck, now that I think about it, I wish I could get a degree in library science. That's funny, but that's the first time I've ever said that. I've really loved working at the library, but I guess I'll have to settle for something else. Maybe I'll be able to go to college when I'm older; there are a lot of adult students these days. Until then, I'll just make a living however I can...library work...hey, I'm a damn good blues singer, maybe that will come in handy somewhere."
"What are you going to do this year, Shauna?" Andy asked, trying to draw the shy, serious girl into the conversation.
As Shauna explained her plans to help start an intern program at Greenway, Short while at the same time attending school full-time at Crider, the group grew quiet, listening intently while this lovely black girl spoke softly. When she finished her story, she was embarrassed, taking the silence for disapproval, or worse, mockery. For one brief moment, she wanted to run away into the darkness, away from this group that was so very different than her. It was with an immense sense of relief to hear Susie break the silence.
"God, Shauna, that is so awesome, you know exactly what you want, and how you're going to get it. Girl, I wish I could be more like you." The admiration in the blonde’s voice was pure, the warmth obvious. It drew Shauna to the tall girl who was leaving for Texas the following week, a feeling of pride and achievement surging through her.
"What do you want to do after college," Shauna asked Susie, not realizing the complexity of the question for the girl. For Shauna, her future was laid out, perfectly cut and dried, not one string left untied. She didn't understand that other kids her age could be so confused about their futures. Andy and Rod both, at least on the surface, seemed to be as orderly and goal-oriented as she was. But the beautiful blonde, Susie, was showing some hesitation, some discomfort with the question.
"I'm sorry. It was rude of me to ask," Shauna said quickly, embarrassed.
"No, no, not at all...it's kind of a hard question. I don't know, sometimes I'm pretty confused on that subject. Gretta has her wish to get a degree in library science...if I had a wish for the future; I don't have any idea what it would be. Just maybe to stay away from the atmosphere I've grown up in. I guess if I had a wish, it would be to look into the future, maybe ten or fifteen years down the line and check out what's happening, see if I like it, maybe see if I wanted to change something. I guess I'll go away to Texas, take some different type of classes, see what trips my trigger, then grab it. I do know one thing, I want to get away from here, away from Radford, cause it doesn't do it for me. I want to get away from my parents, away from my boyfriend, if you can call the dope-head that, away from all that damn money that everyone seems to worship, away from high school and everything that it stands for. I need a change, as far away as I can get. Maybe I'm just a burnout."
She stopped, looking around at the faces of her companions, the shock on the faces of Shauna and Gretta, the look of amusement on Andy, the curious, knowing little smile on Jody's face.
“Man, a look into the future doesn't sound too bad, does it?" she added, chuckling.
"Sounds pretty good to me," Andy said, rescuing Susie. "I'd love to know if I get to do the Navy thing, how far I'll go with it. I want to fly jets so bad, but they only take like the top three percent or something out of a graduating class for flight school. I'm gonna have to study my butt off to make it. I'd love to be able to catch a peek to see what happens."
"I don't think I'd take a look in the future. If I had a wish, I'd want to do something to make it so my mom doesn't have to go through the shit like she went through tonight." The voice was Rod's, the words coming slow, slurring slightly, and making Andy wonder if maybe his friend had drunk too much. The words chilled his friend, chilled the girls who had known him for so long, leaving a question or two for the newest members of the group.
"Your mom's going to be okay, Rod. She told us herself," Andy said softly, trying to reassure his friend. "At the club...she said things were cool."
Rod's voice was full of sorrow, Andy realizing his friend was lapsing into a morose and drunken mood, the first in a long time.
"No, no, that was all an act. I looked in a second later, and she was crying, holding her stomach it was hurting her so bad. If I could I would go back three years, go back and change one little thing, one day, one action. I don't care a lot about the future; I wish I could go back for a few minutes. Back and stop my little brother. Back, so my mom didn't have to sit there and cry whenever she thinks about me leaving, or Andy leaving, or Tony.
Sitting up straight, Andy had a sudden revelation, realizing that all the effort, all the hours he had committed to helping his friend through the crisis of Tony's death had been for naught. He was struck with the reality that Rod had never truly recovered, had buried it deep inside himself and hid it away until this moment.
The silence was all-encompassing, dominating the camp-site. Rod hadn't talked this way about Tony in a long while, and never to anyone but Andy. Each of the St. Luke's grads were all too aware of the depth of Rod's hurt, the loss of his brother had come so close to destroying the boy. Tammy, sitting next to Rod, crept closer, taking his hand, squeezing it, holding on tight, the tears falling down her cheek, the tears standing in Rodney's eyes.
"You can't change it, Rod. You got to learn to put it behind you, to live with the loss. You got to quit blaming yourself," Susie whispered. "We've all been hurting for you for a long time. Maybe now, tonight, is the time to let it go, let it go while you're with your friends, while you're with the one's that love you."
The voice that came from Rod was eerie, soft and unearthly. "I'd give anything; give my life, my future, everything if I could have saved Tony. That night, remember Andy, when we were diving, we both knew Tony was dead, it was like I wanted to die, too, right there with hi
m. I kept going under, kept thinking how I was going to tell my mom and dad that Tony was dead, how much easier it would be if I was dead, too, that way I wouldn't have to face them. Man, I never told anyone this before, not even you, Andy, but that day, that day that Tony died, we were caddying at the country club, you were out carrying a bag and I could have taken off and gone with Tony, he begged me to go with him. He told me he wanted to go swimming, he was so tired and hot, he had carried two bags that day and he was exhausted. I should have known he was going to go swimming, but he promised me he wouldn't. He begged me, Andy, and I sent him on down the road, sent him off to die. If I had gone with him, if I could have that day back, those few minutes, he wouldn't be dead, wouldn't have drowned. Sometimes I wake up and see his face, see it underwater, and he's waiting for me to rescue him. I know, deep down I know, those last few seconds before he died, he was waiting for me to come get him, save him. Oh shit, oh shit, Andy. I just want to forget it."
He was crying hard, unashamed, his eyes unfocused. Tammy was squeezing his hand, her other arm around his shoulder, nothing to say, nothing to do for the boy. She looked at Andy for help, and saw the tears pouring down Andy's face, the boy looking at his best friend, knowing he couldn't help, wondering why it had taken so long for him to break open, glad it had finally come, hoping that it was over.
"Come on, Rod, let's go down by the water, I want to take a walk," Tammy said, grabbing his hand and standing up. The boy, embarrassed that he had broken down, got up and followed the girl out of the campsite, being pulled down toward the lake, further into the darkness.
Jody, feeling her voice catch, the sadness overpowering, always the one to save the day in the past, attempted to break the spell that Rod had cast. "I gotta go pee, and the johns are locked after dark. Come on, Gretta, go in the woods with me, I'm scared of the dark."
Golden Boy Page 7