by Liz Isaacson
“Remember how I said my last girlfriend cared more about my bank account than me?”
“Yes,” she said.
“I, uh, have a lot of money.”
She simply blinked at him. “Am I—I’m pretty sure I told you I did too.”
“Yeah, I know.” He started nodding, not sure why this point needed to be made so deliberately. But he felt like it did. “I don’t need the farm,” he said. “I haven’t had to work for a while now.”
Her eyebrows went up. “Oh?”
Finn looked away from her. “I was a software engineer for about a decade,” he said. “I invented the software that encrypts logins, and it’s the same type of thing that every major financial institution in the world uses today.” He gave half a chuckle. “I’ve been a billionaire for over two decades. The farm is something I do because I love it.”
Several long beats of silence passed. “And the gardening,” she finally said. “You love that too.”
He laughed lightly. “Yeah, I do.” He didn’t want to give up his farm, which meant that if they got married, he wanted her to leave her life here in Coral Canyon.
But he didn’t need the farm in Dog Valley either. At least not to pay his bills. He hadn’t said them together, but Amanda was smart. She’d hear the words anyway.
Finn did, and they boomed through him, making guilt rise within him over and over and over again.
“I’m going to be a judge for the pumpkin carving at the Fall Festival,” she said, effectively changing the topic.
“That’s great,” he said, just adding her community involvement to the list of things he’d have to ask her to give up if he wanted her to be his permanently.
How in the world could he do that?
He didn’t see any way that he ever could, and he wondered once again if they were simply from two different places—even if those places were only thirty minutes apart on a map.
The weeks passed, and the weather grew colder. The pumpkins grew bigger. Amanda did drive to Dog Valley for church. Three times, in fact. She didn’t like the pastor where Finn went to church, and he’d started attending with her every week in Coral Canyon.
Neither of them had brought up the next stage of their relationship. Finn hadn’t, because he honesty had no idea what it was.
The weekend of the Fall Festival dawned with the threat of rain on the horizon. He’d already prepped the yard for the forthcoming winter, and he’d be surprised if that rain didn’t turn to snow overnight.
Because of that, he packed a jacket in his truck and pulled a windbreaker over his long-sleeved shirt before he set out for Coral Canyon. He and Amanda were eating dinner at the park for their annual chili cookoff, and then she had to wander through the pumpkin patch to judge the carvings.
He’d be with her, of course, his hand steady in hers as she made her selections. Coral Canyon had a lot of activities during the day, but she’d said she’d be busy with her church group selling popcorn and soda and that he shouldn’t come until evening.
That worked for him, because he could get the ranch chores done early and be off until morning. So it was that he left the farm animals to govern themselves for the evening. Chocolate was already asleep when he walked out the front door, but Licorice followed him as if the black Lab would come with him.
“Stay here, bud,” he said to the dog. “I’ll be back.” He seemed more antsy than usual, but Finn wasn’t sure why.
He drove to Coral Canyon, and though his breath steamed in front of him as he hurried into the tent where dinner would be served, the weather had held off from dropping any precipitation.
Amanda’s laugh drew him toward her, and he couldn’t help the irregular way his heart thumped in his chest. She was lovely, with such happiness shining on her face. She turned toward him as if his presence called to her, and she excused herself from the group of people she spoke with.
She practically skipped toward him, and Finn felt her joy infuse right into his soul. In that moment, he knew he was in love with this woman, and there was absolutely nothing he could do about it now.
“Hey, stranger,” she said, grasping his biceps as she pressed into him and kissed him. “You have got to try these maple doughnuts I made this afternoon.”
Surprise darted through Finn. “I thought you were here all afternoon.”
“Oh, I was.” She beamed at him, securing her hand in his. “But I got dragged into the baking competition when Millie came down with something. She already had the spot, and I took it.” She tugged on his hand to get him moving with her. “I think I could win. I mean, they’re just doughnuts, but they’re pretty good.”
“I’m sure they are,” he said, allowing the happiness of this day, this moment with her, to move through him powerfully.
She led him over to the baked goods that had come from the competition earlier in the day, and she paused in front of the table. “There’s only a couple left,” she said. “Better grab one.”
Finn did, stepping past her and willing to knock someone to the ground if he had to. After all, he’d sampled Amanda’s baking before, and it was worthy of throwing an elbow. In the end, he didn’t have to get physical to get a doughnut, and the sugary, maple glazed burst against his taste buds in such a way that made him smile immensely.
“Good, right?” she asked, as if she needed validation.
“So good,” he said, popping the last bite of pastry into his mouth. “Who needs chili now?”
She giggled, latched onto his arm, and steered him toward the group of people she’d been chatting with earlier. “Everyone,” she said. “This is Finn Barber.”
“Hello, Finn,” several people said. More choruses of hellos met his ears, and he smiled at the vibrancy of this older group of people. Comprised of men and women, he recognized them all from the congregation on Sundays.
“Do you have snow in Dog Valley?” Lois asked. Finn had met her a few times over the last several weeks, as she was Amanda’s best friend and lived just down the lane from her. Apparently the two helped each other with canning and other household projects from time to time.
“Not yet,” he said. “I wouldn’t be surprised if it snows tonight.”
“Hold your tongue,” she said with a smile. “I’m not ready for that.”
“Me either,” Amanda said. “I really don’t like winter.”
Finn had heard her say that before, and yet, she’d stayed in Wyoming after Ron had died. Of course, most of her sons were here, and apparently, several years ago, they’d all been here.
Finn had yet to meet Eli, but he’d heard plenty about Amanda’s second son. He didn’t know what else to say to add to the conversation, and thankfully, a microphone crackled to life a man said, “It’s time for the chili dinner. You must have a pink ticket to attend this event, and we’ll be taking those near the west doors.”
Finn wasn’t worried though he didn’t have a pink ticket. Amanda would have one for him, as she was the one who was well-connected in Coral Canyon. Sure enough, she handed the two tickets to the man taking them near the set of doors where Finn had entered the tent.
The atmosphere was everything he’d expect from a small-town celebration, with laughter and good conversation, and even better food. The chili had been provided by several churches across the town of Coral Canyon, and it seemed like the loaves and fishes and never ran out.
Patrons had brought cornbread and salads to go with the chili, and Finn found a particularly delicious “salad” made mostly of cookies, whipped cream, and apples.
Several people said hello to Amanda, and he saw her in a whole new light. She was a pillar of this community, and he wasn’t sure how he could ever take her from that house where all her memories lived, from her beloved congregation, or from this town who loved her and whom she clearly loved too.
She’d said nothing about it, though, and he decided to take things one day at a time. At this moment, it was one hour before Amanda said, “Come on, dear. You promised you’
d brave the cold to help me judge the pumpkin carving.”
He knew his opinion would have no sway over the winners, but he wanted to be where she was, so he went with her, flipping up the collar on his windbreaker as he stepped out into the darkening sky.
Chapter Seventeen
Amanda couldn’t seem to feel the chill in the air though it was definitely there. Finn’s hand in hers felt so solid and so right, and the flickering faces of the pumpkins brought happiness to her whole soul.
“Autumn is my favorite season,” she said to Finn, her voice too loud outside the tent, where everything echoed. There were considerably less people out here too, and the sky seemed to swallow her words whole.
“Really?” Finn asked. “I would’ve guessed spring or summer. I know it’s not winter.”
“I don’t understand how anyone’s favorite season can be winter.”
“Well, there’s no yard work to be done. The farm chores aren’t as intense. Plenty of time to soak up the sun with the pine trees.”
Amanda let his words roll through her. “Pine tree love. I didn’t know that about you.” And she knew a lot about this gentle man beside her. Wanted to know everything.
“Glad I can still surprise you,” he said. They passed under the arch leading to Jack O’Lantern Lane, and Amanda pulled out the tiny notebook she’d brought with her. She was supposed to vote for her ten favorites sometime before nine p.m.
She’d been at the park all day long, and she was honestly ready to go home. Make sure Beans had enough food and water, maybe make some hot broth, and crawl into bed. Her bones felt old and weary, and while she did love autumn, she didn’t like the way the temperature affected her.
“These are so creative,” she said as they walked oh-so-slowly. Most of the pumpkins didn’t simply have a face. The carving here was serious, with scenes shining through from the light within the gourds. The loop around was half a mile, and she felt a responsibility to look at all of them, even once she had her ten choices.
Every so often, she’d erased one number off and put a new one on in its place. Eventually, after what felt like a very long time, she had her final list.
She dropped it in the box just inside the arch and turned to Finn. “I’m ready to go now.”
“Already?”
“Yes.” She pressed into him and touched her lips to his. “Take me home, cowboy?”
“Mm.” He kissed her properly, swiping that cowboy hat from his head. “Ready when you are.”
With a satisfied smile, she laced her hand through his and started for the parking lot. She didn’t want to admit it, but she felt stuck with Finn, the same way she’d been with Jason for so long.
He’d said he wasn’t ready to ask her to leave her life in Coral Canyon, but that had been a while ago now. Would he ever be ready for her to do that?
Ever since he’d said he didn’t need the farm to pay his bills, she’d been wondering if he’d ever leave Dog Valley and come to her house to make their life together. But every time she thought about it, she knew he wouldn’t.
She didn’t even want him there. That had been her and Ron’s house, and it still felt like it to her. It would be much easier to move to Dog Valley and take up residence in Finn’s house. But she didn’t want to go to church there, and she simply couldn’t see her not attending the Coral Canyon festivities she loved so much.
Finn followed her as she turned onto her lane, and Amanda immediately knew something was wrong at her house. A truck sat in the circle drive, and a light shone out the front window when she hadn’t left that lamp on.
“Jason,” she said to herself as she parked behind his truck instead of pulling into her driveway. Anxiety hit her hard. She hadn’t spoken to him in months; what in the world was he doing here?
She got out of her SUV and approached Finn’s truck. “My ex-boyfriend is here,” she said, nodding toward the front of the house as the door opened and the man she’d been with for so long appeared.
Finn looked that direction and back at her. “Want me to come in? Or do you need to handle something on your own?”
Amanda honestly didn’t know. She hadn’t dwelt on Jason much, at least not with Finn. “I better go see what he’s doing here alone.” She’d taken one step when Finn put his hand on her arm.
“Why didn’t you take the next step with him?”
She’d wanted to, but she couldn’t tell Finn that now. Could she? It hadn’t mattered before. He knew she’d dated a lot more than him. That had apparently satisfied him.
“We didn’t share the same values,” she said. “I stayed with him for a long time, hoping.” His hand fell away, and she walked down the front sidewalk toward the porch. As she climbed the steps, she asked, “What are you doing here, Jason?”
“I still have your keys,” he said, holding them out to her.
“How long have you been here?” She took the keys, the solid, sharp feel of them in her hand comforting somehow.
“How long have you two been dating?” He nodded to where Finn still stood beside his truck. He watched them, not even trying to hide it.
“A few months,” Amanda said, sure Jason was here about something more than keys. “Why didn’t you call before coming?”
“I did,” he said, finally taking his eyes from Finn. “Three times. You wouldn’t pick up.”
“I didn’t get any calls from you,” she said.
“Did you get a new phone?”
“No.”
“Then I called.”
Amanda didn’t like the bite in his tone, and she wanted him to leave. He was still as handsome as ever, and she reminded herself that they really didn’t have the same values. Their relationship would never work, even if she wanted it to.
With a jolt, she wondered if she was doing the same thing with Finn. Could she be happy on that farm, thirty minutes from everything she’d known for almost five decades?
“How long have you been here?” she asked again.
“I don’t know who he is,” Jason said, turning toward her. “I don’t care.” He reached for her hands and took them in his. “I want to try again with you.”
Amanda looked up into his dark eyes—eyes she’d loved so much once. She shook her head. “It’s too late for that, Jason.”
“Why?”
She didn’t know. Only that it was. He’d hurt her too much with his refusals to forgive, and she was happy with Finn.
“I think I’m in love with him,” she said, facing Finn.
“You loved me once,” Jason said, stepping behind her and running his hand along her waist. He knew how to make her feel young and sexy, and Amanda almost fell for his charms again. But she knew he hadn’t changed.
“Sorry, Jason,” she said, stepping away from his touch. “You should go.” She walked to the door and opened it. “Thanks for bringing my keys back.” She slipped inside, feeling cowardly and weak by leaving Finn out there to face Jason alone.
Her phone chimed, and she saw Finn’s message flash across the top of her screen. Open your garage.
She bustled through the house to get the garage open, and Finn pulled in where she usually parked. He hit the button as he climbed the few steps and took her in his arms.
“Did you know it’s very quiet out here?” he whispered. “And I could hear your whole conversation?”
Amanda’s heart tapped around inside her chest, first from the way he held her so tightly against him. And second, because he’d heard her say she thought she was in love with him.
“Is that true?” he asked. “You’re in love with me?”
“I said I thought I was,” she whispered. Her voice had apparently decided to go on a hiatus.
“I know I’m in love with you,” he murmured, his mouth touching hers. He teased and brushed his lips along hers before fully claiming them. And Amanda knew then that she was in love with him too.
“I’m going to move to Dog Valley,” she told Lois a few days later. She hadn’t told a single other
person. Finn had not proposed, though he had stayed too late, and she kissed him for too long standing right there in the mudroom off the garage. He’d not said anything else about it, but if they loved each other, they couldn’t keep living thirty minutes apart. She’d learned that when she was eighteen years old.
“You are?” Lois looked up from the pot of applesauce she was stirring. “When? Why?”
“My boyfriend lives there,” Amanda said. And he loves me. Warmth moved through her, and she couldn’t help smiling, though she aimed it at the rings she was making to put in the oven. Lois’s grandchildren loved dried apple rings. Amanda did too.
“You’re going to leave Coral Canyon?” Lois asked again.
“Why is this so shocking?”
“I just didn’t think you would,” she said. “Even after Ron died, you stayed in that house. I just don’t see how you can go now.”
“It’s just a house,” Amanda said, but she knew it wasn’t. It was her house. The house where she and Ron had built their entire lives. If she thought about it for too long, she grew nostalgic and sad.
“Just a house.” Lois scoffed. “You had Beau in that house. It’s not just a house.”
Amanda didn’t say anything else. She didn’t have to defend herself. As she continued to help Lois put up the jars of applesauce she wanted, she couldn’t help thinking of the years of her life she’d spent raising her boys.
They were good times. But that didn’t mean she had to stay in them. Her sons rarely came to her house anymore, and perhaps it was simply time to let it go.
Amanda wasn’t great at doing that, but she had to get better. If she let go of the house, would she finally be able to let go of Ron too?
With a sudden start that left her breathless, she realized she was as much to blame for her and Jason’s failed relationship as he was. She hadn’t been able to commit to him.
Could she commit to Finn? Or was she still fooling herself into thinking she was ready for a new life companion?